The first thing that always struck Ditzy about the TARDIS library was how absurdly gothic it was. Stone columns were placed with reckless abandon. The ceiling vaulted into places where it probably shouldn't have. The architect, in a feat of incomprehensible idiocy, managed to construct an interior flying buttress. Luckily for the weak minded, it was difficult to see its most egregious sins against common sense, because the room was lit only by small torches inside various gargoyles' mouths. Ditzy actually had to walk around with a flashlight to find new things to mock the room for, and quickly came to regret it.
She had asked the Doctor about the abomination, but he shrugged and said it was just a phase, causing her to briefly wonder if he had spent any time as a hormone addled teenage girl. They seemed to be the only ones into this "goffik" stuff, although Ditzy was beginning to suspect that had nothing to do with the style of architecture.
Ditzy sighed, looked down at her book, tried to turn the page, and realized just how much mental effort she was exerting trying to ignore it. She finally decided to give up and set it down. She could only take so much. She was promised intense political debate and instead got trains. This Ayn Reind must've been a real piece of work.
She briefly debated whether to give the book another shot, but her decision was made for her when the Doctor busted in. "Ditzy! Ditzy!" he said, waving around what, at this distance, appeared to be a small wallet. "Something amazing's happened!"
Ditzy looked down from her balcony. She doubted it, but she had to ask anyway. "Did you fix my timeline?"
"No. But!" The Doctor began ascending the spiral staircase to the second library floor. "Look at this…"
Ditzy glared at him. If it wasn't that, why should she care? But when he got this enthusiastic there was no stopping him. She just had to play along.
"What is it?"
The Doctor smiled and opened up whatever it was he was holding, revealing a small, index card sized piece of paper. On it, the word "HELP" was written in bloody, scrawled writing.
"Where did you find that?" Ditzy said. "In the kitchen?"
"I didn't find this note anywhere," the Doctor said, that obnoxious twinkle in his eye starting up. "This is psychic paper."
Ditzy leaned on the reading table. Here we go.
"Psychic paper can receive strong thoughts across the space time continuum and pinpoint their location. It works by taking advantage of isotonic subordinated decaffeinated dodecahedrons." Ditzy was pretty sure that violated every tenet of known science, but stayed silent. "It also does wonders for identity theft." He paused as he let that sink in. "Isn't that great?"
"If I understand you correctly, someone thought 'HELP' so hard they made your wallet bleed. I fail to see what's so great about this."
The Doctor decided to let the wallet comment slide. "What's great about this is now we can rescue them! What better than a little harmless adventure to get your mind off things?"
"I prefer to keep my head attached for that, thank you very much," Ditzy said, then picked up her book and tried to pretend that yes, she too was interested in who John Galt was and how he would change the world with trains.
The Doctor grabbed the book from her. "Oh, come on. I've seen worse and no one's been decapitated yet."
Ditzy believed him. That worried her.
"So? Do you want to go and check it out? You do, don't you? The mystery compels you, doesn't it?"
Ditzy sighed. "You've already plotted the TARDIS to the origin of that SOS, haven't you?"
"We landed 15 minutes ago."
"And you're going to check it out yourself regardless, aren't you?"
The Doctor paused. "Possibly."
If there was anything more unpleasant than traveling with the Doctor, it was being in the TARDIS alone. "Fine, I'll come."
"All right!" the Doctor said, trying and failing to hide his enthusiasm. He looked at the book he had confiscated from Ditzy. "And what are you doing reading this garbage, anyway?" He threw the book with great force at the flying buttress.
– – – –
"Nice scenery, isn't it?" the Doctor said.
Ditzy was too busy being silently grateful the Doctor hadn't noticed her taping the Rarity card to the bottom of the control panel to notice.
They were in the middle of a small clearing in a dense forest next to a mountain. The sun was setting. There was no civilization in sight.
"Maybe someone got in a hiking accident," Ditzy ventured.
"No, that couldn't be it," the Doctor said, trying to think of a complicated explanation as to why. He didn't want to admit it was because he didn't want it to be something so boring. "Let's… try going out a little further. You want to go left or right?"
"I hardly want to be out here at all."
"Right it is, then."
They started trotting to the right. It seemed like, as they went on, a path started emerging, but it was so unkempt they couldn't tell whether it was placed there intentionally or if the grass just happened to die in roughly a straight line.
It turned out it must have been put there intentionally, since it led them to a small town, or what was left of it, at least.
"What happened here?" the Doctor said.
"What happened," Ditzy said, "is that you missed your SOS."
The town was utterly destroyed. The buildings were crushed, wood splintering out everywhere. The whole place seemed oddly damp.
The Doctor approached what looked like a large deposit of goo on one building. He touched it, and smelled it.
"Can't be," he muttered.
Ditzy looked around. "So, what happened here?"
"I'm not quite sure," the Doctor said. "A lot of these buildings look like they were destroyed a while ago. A couple of years ago, at least." He walked around a bit. "But something must've come along recently and did some more damage. Otherwise things wouldn't still be this damp."
"Think it could be a flood?" Ditzy suggested.
"I hope so," the Doctor said, which worried Ditzy.
They poked around the ruins for a while. As the sky dimmed, Ditzy noticed something. "Do you see that light?"
"What light?"
"That light, up there."
In the middle of the darkness was a small light that looked suspiciously like a window into a lit room. As soon as they tried to get a better look, it shut off.
Ditzy and the Doctor froze.
"Let's check it out," the Doctor said.
They trudged through the forest, towards where they had seen the light, as quiet as possible.
Then, the forest cleared, and they realized the light came from a large, two-story house with about four rooms on each floor. It was on the top of a hill, and a well marked, meticulously landscaped path ran up to the front door from a different direction. Trepidatiously, they walked up the path.
Once at the front door, the Doctor leaned against it, trying to hear if there was anything unusual going on inside. He heard nothing, so he opened the door and burst in with gratuitous theatrics.
It was a hotel. That much became clear from the cubbies on the wall, the reception table in front of that, and the thing standing behind that.
The Doctor did a double take and tripped on the floor, and Ditzy just stood there with her jaw agape. Neither were expecting to see a human there, and Ditzy had never seen one in person before.
"Oh, hello Doctor!" the human said.
"What."
The human rapidly covered his mouth.
The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "How do you—"
"Spoilers," the human said ominously. Then he made a high-pitched squeal. "Ohmygod I've always wanted to do that!"
The Doctor raised an eyebrow.
The human tried to calm down, and cleared his throat. "Seriously, though, there's some time travel shenanigans going on here."
"Right," the Doctor said.
"I'm Bob," the human said. "You want a room here, right? Here, let me get—"
"Not really," the Doctor said. "I was mainly wondering what happened to that town down there."
"Oh, that? That was destroyed by some monster three years ago. It's no big deal. Apparently it just, like, sat on the town and completely broke it." The Doctor looked concerned. "I'm pretty sure the monster's gone now, so I… I mean, me and my boss started a hotel here." Ditzy looked concerned. "I mean, no one's died yet, right? At least not from anything other than food poisoning. Ha ha ha!" He paused, then leaned in. "That was a joke, by the way. The food's great."
The Doctor and Ditzy stared. "Maybe the SOS came from one of this hotel's guests," she said, half joking.
The Doctor took her a little more seriously than she wanted. "You know what, scratch that," he said. "I think I do want a room."
"Great!" Bob threw a key at the Doctor. "You'll be in room 15. Upstairs. Don't tell anyone, but it's on the house. Old friends and all."
Even if there were time travel shenanigans involved, the Doctor doubted they were "old" or "friends."
"Oh!" Bob said, catching the two off guard. "And just don't worry about anything, you hear me? I know how you get. Nothing has happened here in forever. Nothing weird ever happens here, trust me. It's super, super boring."
At that moment a yellow pegasus with Rainbow Dash on a leash came down from upstairs.
The Doctor and Ditzy were temporarily shocked into submission. "I don't think I trust your judgment," the Doctor said.
"What? That's not weird at all," Bob said. "She has a permit."
"A permit?"
Bob rummaged through a couple drawers and produced the permit in question.
The Doctor read it carefully, then let it go, letting it sadly flutter to the floor. "There is a permit for having ponies on a leash in public," he got out. "This country is infected with much greater evil than I thought."
"I know her," Ditzy said.
The Doctor turned to Ditzy. "What?"
"The one on the leash. She was one of my students." She gulped. "I think I'm going to try talking to her."
The Doctor grabbed her shoulder as she moved away. "Remember," he said, "she doesn't know you."
Ditzy looked back. "I know."
She went after the couple, who were just heading out the back door. The Doctor followed close behind.
"H-Hello," Ditzy said. "Is your name Rainbow Dash?"
The two turned to her. Rainbow Dash, after briefly looking to the yellow pegasus, simply nodded. Ditzy suddenly noticed she was wearing an eyepatch.
"Oh my Luna!" Ditzy said, unable to restrain herself. "What happened to your eye!?"
Rainbow Dash averted her remaining eye. She looked to the yellow pegasus again, who gave Ditzy a chilling stare.
In a way that wasn't creepy at all, she said she had fed Rainbow Dash's eyeball to her pet rabbit, who had grown quite fond of the things.
"That makes sense," the Doctor said, as if it was the most normal thing in the world.
Ditzy wondered how kidding he was. "Do… do you know a pony named Twilight Sparkle? Do you know who she is?"
Rainbow Dash stared at Ditzy, confused. The yellow pegasus nodded.
Rainbow Dash opened her mouth a couple times, as if speaking was no longer normal for her. "She's… a… princess." She took a step towards Ditzy. "Who… who are… you?"
The yellow pegasus tugged on her leash, and Rainbow Dash's face went pale with fear. They walked outside, no one daring to stop them.
After a pause, the Doctor said, "Who was that yellow one? She seems nice."
"Oh, her? She's Fluttershy, the Element of Kindness," Bob said. "She just has a certain… Fluttershyness, doesn't she?"
Ditzy looked at both of them like they were nuts.
– – – –
The Doctor and Ditzy tried to settle into their room. This mostly consisted of looking under the mattress and pillows for cockroaches and stuff.
"Tell me," Ditzy said, shaking her pillowcase and hoping nothing came out, "how would you usually react if someone told you they fed someone else's eyeball to their pet?"
The Doctor stopped. "Excuse me?"
"Just humor me."
The Doctor thought about it. "Well, I suppose that would depend on how sarcastic I thought they were being," he said. "It's still pretty shocking, though, so I'd probably get a little mad." He looked suspicious. "Why?"
Ditzy ignored that. "So, to reiterate, you would probably not calmly nod and say, 'that makes sense?'"
"What?"
"Because that's what you did about 15 minutes ago."
"Come on, don't be—" Realization dawned upon the Doctor's face. "Oh dear god, I did say that. Why would I say that?"
Ditzy put her pillow down. "I've been wondering the same thing."
The Doctor started pacing. "No, no, this is really strange. I didn't even remember doing that until you pointed it out." He looked around. "Is there some kind of mind control going on here? I haven't done anything else strange, have I?"
"Relatively speaking? No," Ditzy said. She sat on her bed. "This does remind me of a story I heard back home, though."
"A story?"
"Every pegasi knew it," Ditzy said. "In my flight class, there was this yellow pegasus. She was extremely shy—so much of a wallflower that hardly anyone noticed her. That's why no one noticed when she fell off a cloud. The adults searched around for days, but could never find her. She was presumed dead.
"But, rumor is, she didn't die. She fell into the Everfree forest and grew up as a feral pony. The isolation drove her insane, and she became a monster. She would lure in travelers with a sickly sweet voice, hardly louder than a whisper, that made people hear whatever they wanted to. Once ensnared, she would torture her victims for weeks, toying with them in every way imaginable, before finally…" Ditzy got in the Doctor's face for dramatic effect. "She would eat them alive, and they would enjoy it."
The Doctor was more shaken than he cared to admit. He laughed nervously. "Come on," he said. "That's ridiculous."
Ditzy got up. "Is it?" She walked around the Doctor. "Everyone in that year's class, including me, remembers a yellow pegasus who suddenly disappeared. And there really were a lot of unexplained deaths around the Everfree Forest, even where there were supposedly no monsters."
Ditzy stopped. "What I'm thinking is, what if, in this timeline, that yellow pegasus never fell from the sky? What if she grew up in civilization, like a normal pony, but had the same sadistic personality, and the same mind warping powers?" She looked at the Doctor. "Wouldn't that explain what we just saw?"
"Possibly," he said. "It's a bit hard to believe, though. How could she control people's minds? She's not a unicorn, so she doesn't have any magic."
"Maybe it's not her magic," Ditzy said. "Listen, what if—"
Suddenly, they heard what sounded like a wooden spoon banging against a pot, accompanied by Bob's obnoxious voice yelling, "Dinner! Dinner! Get it while it's fresh!"
"I must admit, I am feeling a bit peckish," the Doctor said. "Want to get something to eat?"
Ditzy blinked. "Sure?"
– – – –
The dinner was nothing like what the Doctor and Ditzy were expecting. Specifically, they were expecting edible food. What they got instead was some incomprehensible goulash.
"Make sure to eat it while it's still fresh!" Bob said with unwarranted enthusiasm.
"I don't see what difference it will make," the Doctor muttered under his breath.
Bob heard. He leaned over to the Doctor, who automatically scooted away. "It's even worse when it's not fresh," he said. "Trust me."
He then went on to comfort some of the other guests, who were also looking concerned.
The Doctor stared at his food. "You don't really think that SOS was just because the service at this hotel sucks, do you?"
Ditzy poked around her food a bit. It resisted a little too much for her liking. "It is definitely possible."
Suddenly, an earth pony with a hat and beard slammed the table in front of two. He glared at the Doctor and Ditzy, who recoiled in fear and confusion.
The pony pointed at Ditzy. "You," he said, with much passion. "You." He paused. "You destroyed my house, killed my wife, and took her unborn child with you. What do you have to say for yourself?"
Ditzy gaped, opening and closing her mouth in utter confusion.
The Doctor scratched his head. "Do I know you from somewhere?"
"The last name's Pie, if it rings any bells."
The Doctor mulled that over, until finally, the realization hit him. "You! You're Pinkie Pie's father!" The pony looked at him in confusion. "Or, at least, you were in that one timeline. But not this one. I think. What if…" He stopped. "Just nevermind all that."
Ecstasy Pie merely narrowed his eyes.
"That wasn't my fault, by the way," the Doctor said, prepared to run if need be. "You see this pony next to me? Ditzy?"
Ditzy cleared her throat.
"Er. Dr. Do?" Ditzy nodded. "Anyway, that wasn't her back then. It was a ridiculously powerful, practically immortal being posing as her." The Doctor leaned back. "I don't know why it wanted to destroy you and your family so badly, but there really wasn't much I could do about it."
Ecstasy Pie continued glaring at them for a few seconds, then suddenly became calm. "Oh, in that case it's fine," he said, sitting down. "If it was one of the princesses in disguise, I'm sure they knew what they were doing."
"Wait, I never—"
"Besides!" Ecstasy spread his arms. "In the end it did me nothing but good anyway! I've seen the light now. I've become a reverend!"
The Doctor could only sit there, mouth agape, as he considered what he just heard. "Excuse me?"
"Didn't you hear me? I'm a priest now!"
"I thought that's what you said," the Doctor said, concerned. "What, exactly, are you a reverend of?"
Reverend Pie looked confused. "The Church of Celestia. Obviously."
"Oh, yes, obviously," the Doctor said, vaguely gesturing towards Reverend Pie's hat and hoping it meant something.
Ditzy leaned back, disdain on her face. "So he's like the opposite of me," she muttered.
The Doctor looked at her. "The opposite?"
"I'm a Luna worshiper myself, but I'd never become a priest or anything."
"Right," the Doctor said, not understanding a word of this. He turned to Reverend Pie. "So, what caused you to suddenly… see the light?"
"It happened after I miraculously survived our house exploding," Reverend Pie said. He turned to Ditzy. "You probably don't know this, but your imposter decided to go and blow up our meth lab. You know, looking back, it was probably Luna. That sounds like the kind of crap she would pull."
Ditzy tried her best to hold back any religious comments.
"As I crawled out of the wreckage, I felt someone's hooves. I looked up, and there, bathed in the sunlight, was Celestia herself! Of course, I was instantly frozen in fear. Her intensity is hard to bear under normal circumstances, and I was on the verge of death. She looked down upon me, and asked what had happened. I tried to come up with a cover story, saying a fire had started or something, but Celestia, being all-knowing, instantly saw through it.
"'I could care less about your drug business,' she said. 'Just tell me everything that happened here. I think you know very well what I'm capable of if you don't cooperate.'
"So I told her everything. About you, the time traveler, and your companion, and our drug business, and how your imposter mixed up some chemicals and blew it all up. I started talking about how it all began, just to fill space, because I was so nervous, but Celestia stopped me.
"'That's enough,' she said, and began to walk away, extending her wings.
"I called out, desperately, asking why she had come to me. She turned back, looked at me, and uttered words I would never forget." He paused.
The Doctor grew impatient. "And they were…?"
Reverend Pie inhaled. "She told me, 'A fully grown pink pony just came out of my oven and said she was an abortion, and you were her father. It seemed worthy of investigation.' Then she flew away."
The Doctor and Ditzy looked at him in confusion. Ditzy in particular was completely unable to handle this. "Excuse me?"
"I have no idea what it means either," Reverend Pie said, shrugging. "She works in mysterious ways. But after seeing her in person, I forever believed in her strength. From that moment forward, I made it a practice to adopt her morals. From that moment forward, I embraced—"
The Doctor felt it would be prudent to stop him before he started ranting. "Oh, look at your food!" he said. "It's starting to… get cold! Better take care of that!"
Reverend Pie looked at him, an eyebrow raised, and uncomfortably shuffled back to his food.
Ditzy leaned into the Doctor. "What was that all about?"
"Your imposter kept trying to kill a pink pony named Pinkie Pie for some reason. Everywhere we went, she somehow managed to erase her from existence or turn her life into a living hell. Eventually, the timeline became so screwed up there was no possible way she could have been born. But somehow, she still existed, literally just popping out of nowhere. Out of an oven, apparently. This time, however, she was different."
Ditzy looked at the Doctor. "Actually, I was talking about you awkwardly sending the good reverend away."
The Doctor looked disappointed. "Oh." He started to poke his food around. Some of it scuttled away.
Ditzy rolled her eyes. "What do you mean, different?"
The Doctor perked up again. "She seemed to have some kind of… power. Not quite magic, but not quite technology either. I've only seen power like that once before—with a being that lives on a different plane of existence than us." He paused. "A god."
Ditzy remembered the pink pony that she saw in her classroom. The one that did nothing but sit completely still and stare. The one that no one else noticed. Was that Pinkie Pie? Did she know…?
At that moment, a blue-gray pony with bat wings walked by, clearly trying to forget the disgusting meal he just ate.
The Doctor tried to be polite, but he gawked. "Is that…?"
Ditzy tried to figure out what he found so unusual. "A batpony? Yes, it is. I take it you've never seen one before."
"I didn't think they actually existed," the Doctor said. "Someone told me about them, but I thought it was some kind of joke."
"A joke? Don't be ridiculous. Everyone knows batponies were created by Princess Luna to work around some unionization loophole."
The Doctor couldn't tell whether Ditzy was kidding or not.
Meanwhile, the batpony had doubled around and was now staring at the Doctor. "Excuse me, are you the—"
"The Doctor? Yes," the Doctor said. "Do you know me too?"
"I…" The batpony looked nervous. "I don't know if I can say anything without my head exploding."
The Doctor decided to ignore that. "Tell me, because me and my friend are having an argument about this…" Ditzy looked offended. "Is it true that batponies were created by Princess Luna to work around some tax loophole or something?"
The batpony sighed. "Regrettably, yes. We were all grown in a lab, actually. First 20 years of our life spent in an artificial embryo, with the lab attendants tapping Shave and a Haircut against the glass as our only companionship."
The Doctor began wishing he hadn't sealed this universe in a bubble purely so that the inter-universal equivalent of the UN could come and cite this planet for something. "Sounds… tough."
"It's life. Also, we don't have names. Just numbers. I'm higher ranked, so mine's actually a rational, positive number, without any decimal points or Es or square roots or anything." He extended his hoof. "My name is Seven," he said. "Nice to meet you."
The Doctor and Seven shook hooves awkwardly. The Doctor thought about this a bit. "Say, what are you doing here? If you're working for one of the princesses, shouldn't you be at the capital or something?"
Seven looked like he was hit by a truck. "That's… I… that's…" He took a deep breath. "I've been given a vacation." He said it like it was a death sentence.
"Good for you?" the Doctor managed, noticing the oddly tense atmosphere.
"You don't need to pretend to be happy for me," Seven said. "I know what vacations mean around here. And I know I should probably not get too attached to anyone here. Goodbye." And with that, he ran off.
It was the Doctor's turn to be confused. "What was that all about?"
"Maybe he's afraid the princesses are trying to fire him," Ditzy said. "They can get quite… creative in their ways of doing so."
"Got that right," Bob said, who was suddenly behind them. The Doctor and Ditzy jerked. Bob looked at the table. "What's wrong with you two? You haven't even touched any of your food!"
Ditzy rapidly tried to change the subject. "Say, have you ever heard of a Twilight Sparkle? Probably not, she was just a friend of mine I lost touch with…"
Bob looked confused. "You mean Princess Twilight? Of course I know her. Everyone knows her."
"Yeah," Ditzy said, "specifically, I'm wondering about this thing where she's apparently a princess now."
"Man, you must've been living under a rock for the last couple years," Bob said. "A while ago, Celestia made Twilight a princess. It shocked everyone, because it was right after Twilight tried to stage a coup and overthrow Celestia. I guess Celestia saw it as a token of strength or something.
"It all started last year. One day, Celestia planned this great, huge event, but didn't tell anyone what it is. Fairly normal, for her at least. So anyone who's anyone came, there's all this fireworks and stuff, and then she led Twilight out. Now, Twilight was a bit of a national hero at this point, so everyone knew what she looked like. She definitely didn't have wings before."
"So, that was her coronation?" Ditzy said, trying to keep up.
Bob thought back. "Actually, now that I think about it… Celestia never actually called her a princess. Everyone just kind of assumed she was being coronated. Some people think Celestia still has something planned for her, but I don't know. It could be. Twilight did look a bit shaken up."
Ditzy sighed. "Well, thank you," she said. It was nice to know Twilight was doing better for herself in this world. "Oh, and do you know of a Soarin? He's still the captain of the Wonderbolts, right?"
"Oh, no," Bob said, laughing. "He got kicked out a while ago. Last I heard he was a homeless bum in Las Pegasus. He's probably dead by now." He noticed the look of utter horror on Ditzy's face. "Well, it's tough, but it's life."
Ditzy stared into space. "I think I'm going to go back up to our room," she said.
"Okay," the Doctor said, and let her walk up.
Bob looked at the stairway. "Was it something I said?"
"I think they were engaged," the Doctor said.
Bob blinked. "Oh." He thought back, trying to remember if he had heard anything about that, but couldn't. He changed the subject, growing oddly serious. "Listen, is it true? What you told me?"
"What?"
"Am I really going to die today?"
The Doctor looked a bit worried.
– – – –
Ditzy closed the door behind her, and leaned against it, closing her eyes. Dead? She didn't like Soarin much, especially after he cheated on her, but she never wanted him dead.
And Twilight. If Celestia really did have something planned for her, her life wasn't getting better at all…
Ditzy heard a knock.
"Hello?" she said, opening the door.
It was Fluttershy. She must've returned while they were eating. She asked if Ditzy had seen Rainbow Dash.
"Can't say I have," Ditzy said.
Fluttershy said Ditzy was lying.
"So? What if I am?"
Fluttershy threatened to disembowel Ditzy.
"That would require me to have anything to lose from that," Ditzy said, and slammed the door shut. Then she turned around and realized a particularly beat up Rainbow Dash had been behind her on a bed the whole time.
She shrieked, but Rainbow Dash flew over and covered her mouth before much could come of it.
"Don't… make her… come back," she said desperately.
Ditzy calmed down. "What are you doing here?"
"You're one of the… few that… she can't control… for some reason…" Rainbow Dash said. She began coughing. "Water… please…"
There was a small sink in the corner of the room. Ditzy grabbed a pathetic looking paper cup, filled it, and handed it to Rainbow Dash. She downed it almost instantly.
"Thank you," she said, setting it down. "It's been a while since I've drank that much water."
"What?"
Rainbow Dash scoffed. "Fluttershy keeps me at the very edge of life and death. I rarely get more than a sip of water a day."
Ditzy balked. "How can she get away with this?" she said.
"Are you kidding? It's Celestia's orders, and Fluttershy's her right hand mare. There's no escape." Rainbow Dash looked out the window. "Eventually, I'll have to go back to her. I'm sure I'll be punished for this. Who knows how. Fluttershy's creative. I can count on that." She smiled. "But she has one weakness. She won't let me die. I know that. She needs me. She needs to break me." Rainbow Dash looked at Ditzy. "So, I figured, I should take advantage of that to talk to you."
"Why me?"
"Because," Rainbow Dash said, "you seem to know me, and I don't remember you."
Ditzy bit her lips.
"You risked angering Fluttershy to keep me in here. You resisted her mind control. You know Twilight, too, but somehow you didn't even know she'd been coronated." She narrowed her eyes. "Who are you?"
Ditzy looked away. "It's… complicated."
"Tell me."
"I can't."
Rainbow Dash stood tall. "I risked my life to be get here."
Ditzy winced. "I can't."
"Why!?"
Ditzy was filled with shame. "Because it hurts too much."
They were both silent.
Rainbow Dash started slowly walking in circles around Ditzy. "Do you know about other dimensions?"
Ditzy lurched.
"This isn't the only world out there. There are other ones. Like the ones the humans come from. You do know about the humans, right?"
Ditzy nodded.
"I got sent to that world once. But it was an accident. It screwed me up. I had no memories, and my body had regressed. A human there took care of me. We grew close, but eventually, Celestia and my friends came to fetch me. I don't even want to think about what they did in that world before they found me, but anyway, they gave me a choice. I had to choose between him and home, so I chose home, and said goodbye.
"I had always wondered what became of him. Then Fluttershy came to own me. As part of one of her little games, she made me torture a human. I didn't know who it was. She had removed his vocal cords, so I couldn't recognize his voice, and tarred and feathered him, so I couldn't recognize his scent. I figured, I didn't have loyalty to any humans here, and anything was worth her letting up on me, so I played along. I did everything she told me, until finally it was over, and he was dead. I was happy. I thought she might take it easy for me for a while.
"Then she removed his mask."
Ditzy's skin grew cold.
"That monster made me murder the man I loved in cold blood! And do you know what her endgame is? Do you!? She wants to break me so much that I work at her factory for systematically murdering children—and enjoy it! So don't talk to me about pain. Don't ever talk to me about pain, because I doubt you can match that!"
Ditzy glared. "I might have been responsible for all that," she said. "How's that?"
Rainbow Dash stopped. "What?"
"I also came from another world. The only difference between our two worlds is that, in this world, I was killed at a young age, and you never got to know me." Ditzy looked down. "That one event changed your whole life. I don't think you would've ever found yourself here."
"How?"
"In that world, you were so obsessed with me you never even got your cutie mark."
At that, they both heard loud, slow knocks coming from the door.
"That's probably Fluttershy," Rainbow Dash said. "I'd better leave before she tries to hurt us more than she already will."
Ditzy nodded. Rainbow Dash opened the door to see an angry looking Fluttershy holding a riding crop. They walked away, and shut the door.
The Doctor then entered the room, looking down the hall, confused. "Well," he said, "I found out some things I didn't want to. Damn time travel. How're you doing?"
Ditzy turned to the Doctor, tears in her eyes, and collapsed against him, sobbing.
– – – –
Fluttershy had her head against the wall, listening. She congratulated Rainbow Dash on her technique.
"It wasn't intentional," Rainbow Dash said.
Still, Fluttershy went on, the various ways she had attacked Ditzy's psyche were quite effective…
"I said it wasn't intentional," Rainbow Dash snapped. "I'm not like you."
Fluttershy asked if she had warned Ditzy.
"Of course not."
Fluttershy grinned. She said maybe they weren't so different after all.
"How?"
Fluttershy asked why she hadn't warned anyone.
"Because… because…"
Fluttershy asked if it was because of the inevitable punishment if she did so.
"…yes."
Fluttershy said that was proof. Before, Rainbow Dash would gladly have sacrificed her life to save others. She was the Element of Loyalty, after all! But now, she was thinking more selfishly. She was beginning to see the world for what it was.
"For what?"
Fluttershy smiled a wide, sick grin. "A FAÇADE, MADE BY CELESTIA TO TORTURE US ALL.
"A BEAUTIFUL FAÇADE…"
– – – –
Bob walked down the hallway, holding some laundry. He whistled. This day had been a good day. The hotel had more business than it had in years! If these guests had a good time, who knows? Things could be looking up.
He opened his bedroom door, took a step inside, and froze.
"You've been a naughty, naughty boy, my little human…"
– – – –
The Doctor was rudely awakened by loud, rapid knocking on his door. Ditzy, roused from her sleep, sat up.
"Well?" she said. "Get it."
"You get it," the Doctor muttered under his breath, but by time he was done he was already turning the doorknob.
It was Reverend Pie.
The Doctor braced himself for massive amounts of stupidity. "What do you want, and you realize how late it is?" he said.
"I can't find Bob anywhere!" Reverend Pie said.
The Doctor didn't even bother asking what he needed Bob for. "Maybe he's, I don't know, sleeping?"
"I tried his bedroom, but it was locked. And I heard… strange noises from inside."
The Doctor narrowed his eyes. "What kind of strange noises?"
"Unearthly moaning. The bed creaking and snapping. Maybe some glass breaking."
The Doctor walked out. "Maybe he's getting some," he muttered. "More than I can say for myself."
Ditzy followed groggily.
"Well?" Reverend Pie whispered to her. "Are you just going to let him get away with a comment like that?"
"Yes," Ditzy said. "I was about to say something considerably dirtier."
They quickly reached Bob's bedroom. The Doctor started wildly rapping on the door. "Hey, hey, Bob! Reverend Pie wants you for something, or something. I don't know. It probably isn't worth it. Just get him off my back for me."
The door opened slightly.
The Doctor glared at Reverend Pie. "Locked, huh?" Reverend Pie shrugged, and the Doctor pushed the door open some more. "Well, let's see if there's a problem."
There were, in fact, many problems with the room, but the first one any of them noticed were the black, plated, slimy tentacles forcing their way in through the window. Upon being noticed, they instantly pulled back, revealing Bob, or what was left of him, at least.
Ditzy stared, slack jawed, while the men shrieked wildly. Seven flew down from upstairs.
"What happ—" he started, but it quickly became obvious. "Oh. Oh dear."
Fluttershy came from behind, presumably also awoken by the commotion. Instead of being shocked, however, she let out an extremely inappropriate sigh of ecstasy.
Everyone stared.
"We… were just on our way outside," Rainbow Dash said. She attempted to pull the now drooling Fluttershy out of eyeshot. "Come on now."
With considerable effort, she managed to get them both outside.
When they were both safely out of earshot, Reverend Pie said, "Is it really safe for them to go outside?"
"I think they can handle themselves," Ditzy got out. She felt bad for Rainbow Dash, but if what she said was correct, being next to Fluttershy was the safest place she could be. The thought made her shiver. "We've got to worry about ourselves."
The Doctor, however, was just beginning to get into his element. "Okay, everyone stand back," he said, entering the room. "I'm going to investigate." He stopped, and turned around. "Isn't someone going to stop me?"
"I wasn't," Seven said.
"Please, by all means," Reverend Pie said.
The Doctor looked a bit disappointed, and Ditzy rolled her eyes and entered the room.
"So, what was that thing?" she said, trying to start conversation.
"I don't know," the Doctor said. "I've never seen anything quite like it. Those plates…"
"Oh, come on, you have to know. Didn't you tell me you've been to all these different places and stuff?"
"I told you. This place is different."
They looked at Bob's corpse.
"Very different."
They continued looking at Bob's corpse.
It was actually so completely disgusting they weren't even scared by it. Just confused. Their ignorance of human anatomy helped this.
Ditzy's desire to know what she was up eventually overrode her desire to vomit. "What's… that stuff?"
"What stuff?"
"You know."
"I really don't."
"That… white… stuff."
The Doctor blinked, and slowly turned to Ditzy. "It isn't."
"I didn't say anything."
"It can't be."
"I don't want it to be."
"It's utterly impossible. There isn't a single tentacle creature that actually does that."
"Prove it."
The Doctor, after some hesitation, walked over to the body and prodded it a bit. He sniffed. He stopped, and his face fell. "It is."
"What in Equestria are you talking about!?" Reverend Pie yelled in typical naivety. Seven had caught on long ago, and was staring into space, resigned to his fate.
The Doctor took a deep breath. It would do no good to hide it. "Okay," he said. "Okay. Okay." He took another deep breath. "Okay." He pointed to the body. "You see that… substance on the body?"
"Yes. What is it?"
The Doctor groaned, and looked around awkwardly. "You remember those… noises you heard from outside?"
Reverend Pie nodded.
The Doctor started gesticulating with his hooves.
Reverend Pie looked confused for a bit. Then his face lit up. "Oh! Oh." He looked at the body. "Oh." He raised an eyebrow. "I thought those only existed in—"
"Clearly not."
"Why would it—?"
"I don't know!"
Seven felt the need to speak up. "Excuse me, the lady appears to be stepping in…"
Ditzy suddenly realized that wet feeling around her hooves wasn't her sweating. "Ggaaaah!"
The Doctor's face twisted. He examined the puddle closer. "Wait, but that's…"
"I know what it is, thank you very much!" Ditzy yelled, blushing. "I've tasted far more than I've cared to," she muttered.
The Doctor furrowed his brow. "But, if that's there…" He looked at the corpse. "…and that's there…"
The Doctor and Ditzy looked at each other.
– – – –
"Okay, so this is what we know," the Doctor said. "Bob went into his room, probably carrying some laundry, and once inside he was… accosted by two… things, a male and a female. We know this from the… evidence they left behind." He cleared his throat. "We know that at least one of them is giant black plated tentacle creature." He thought. "Those plates still bother me, you know."
Ditzy held back a laugh. "Maybe it's 'for her pleasure.'"
The Doctor ignored her. "From the state of room, and the state of the body, we can assume that one of the creatures has incredible strength and vitality."
"And the other one is a giant tentacle monster," Ditzy quipped, eliciting a glare from the Doctor.
"You're not taking this seriously, are you?"
"I'm sorry, it's just so ridiculous," Ditzy said.
"She's got a point, though," Reverend Pie said. "I've been around the block a few times, and let me tell you, that puddle is not normal."
"If that was a normal pony, that would be half their body weight," Seven added.
"Okay," the Doctor said, exasperated, "so we're dealing with two incredibly powerful ruthless depraved creatures. Got any ideas?"
Seven almost said something, then stopped. He opened his mouth a few more times, not quite sure whether to let it out or not.
The Doctor looked irritated. "What? What is it?"
"Well, when you said powerful, ruthless, and depraved, I immediately thought of the princesses."
The room stopped.
"You can't mean Luna," Ditzy said, a little miffed.
"No, you mean Cadance, don't you?" Reverend Pie said. "She is the princess of love. I bet she's into all this stuff."
The Doctor felt vaguely offended for some reason. It felt almost like those headaches he got before the timeline changed. He ignored it.
Seven stirred. He knew what he was going to say next wouldn't be good. "No. Celestia."
The room stopped again.
Ditzy thought about it. "Now that you mention it…"
Reverend Pie looked at her. "This does fit her modus operandi."
Ditzy begin getting excited. "Not to mention, that crazy yellow pegasus is affiliated with her, isn't she? Maybe she has something to do with this."
Reverend Pie tilted his head. "Crazy? She seemed fine to me."
Ditzy almost objected, but the Doctor interrupted her. "Wait," he said. "You're saying Celestia, the benevolent ruler of this country, could be behind this attack on a single hotel? That's ridiculous!"
The remaining three looked at him. "Why?"
The Doctor worked up some righteous indignation. "She would never do anything that cruel."
The three stared.
"Doctor," Ditzy said, "are you feeling all right?"
The Doctor turned to Reverend Pie. "Come on, you're a Celestia worshiper, aren't you?" he said. "Stand up for her!"
"Er," Reverend Pie said, "you do realize no one actually worships her for being good, don't you?"
The Doctor paused. "What?"
"She embodies complete and utter selfishness. How else do you think you get to run the world? She works for herself, and no one else, and that's what we strive to copy," Reverend Pie said. "Also, she is literally God, so every day she doesn't get bored and decide to kill us all is a blessing."
The Doctor blinked. "That is the worst religion ever."
"At least we're better than the Luna worshipers," Reverend Pie said, eyeing Ditzy. "All those late night rituals, covered in tribal painting…"
"Watch it, wanker!" she yelled.
"Okay, I get it!" the Doctor said. "Celestia could be behind this! I don't even know why I thought she couldn't, it's not like I've met her or anything…"
"It's probably just the mind control," Seven said absentmindedly. "How else could you have not noticed gaining a cutie mark?" He froze.
The Doctor twitched. "What?"
Seven stood completely still. "You might want to take a couple steps back. I said too much."
"You what?"
Then Seven's head exploded.
The Doctor, Ditzy and Reverend Pie just stood there as several pieces of brain landed on them.
"Skeptical now!?" Ditzy yelled.
– – – –
Fluttershy watched the spectacle through binoculars. She giggled. She said her favorite part was when they began to lose hope. She asked Rainbow Dash what her favorite part was.
"My favorite part is when it's over," Rainbow Dash said.
Fluttershy said that was also a good choice. That was when you got to do whatever you wanted with the corpses. She took a sip from her shot glass and asked Rainbow Dash if she wanted any cider.
"No thank you."
Fluttershy said that was a shame, and drank the rest. She threw the empty glass behind her, letting it shatter on the forest floor.
The two were perched on a high tree branch a good distance from the hotel. It was deep in the night, but in the distance they could make out the tentacle creature and a smaller figure flittering around it.
Fluttershy asked if Rainbow Dash knew that the tentacle creature used to be a human.
"I know now," she said. "I wish I didn't."
Fluttershy said he used to be his world's most prolific serial rapist, until he came here and was foolish enough to—
"Fluttershy, why are we here?"
Fluttershy stopped.
"You said this was a reward, but I think you could've guessed I would never enjoy this. What's your plan?"
Fluttershy asked if being let out of the room was nice.
"Well, yes, but—"
Fluttershy asked if seeing the master in action was nice.
"Of course not! It's sick. It's disgusting!"
Fluttershy undid Rainbow Dash's leash. She also threw it into the forest.
"THEN STOP HER."
– – – –
Ditzy, the Doctor and Reverend Pie stood there, looking at the carnage. The headless body of Seven fell to the floor, bleeding everywhere.
"Dear Luna," Ditzy got out.
"I guess it's to be expected," Reverend Pie said. He laughed nervously. "If Celestia has decided we're going to die, we're going to die. It's that simple."
Ditzy looked at him. "But why…?"
"She gets bored. That's probably the only reason she doesn't kill us all. It would be too boring."
The Doctor slammed a hoof against the wall. "Dammit…"
Ditzy and Reverend Pie looked at him.
"I've gotten out of worse, much worse," he said, "but I didn't want there to be any more victims. I don't want anyone else to die. I'll get us out of this, just you watch!"
Reverend Pie looked at him with hope, but right then, a tentacle burst through the window, grabbed him, and whipped outside.
– – – –
Rainbow Dash laughed nervously. "What do you mean, stop her?"
"YOU KNOW WHO I'M TALKING ABOUT."
"What are you talking about? I don't stand a chance against her!"
"IF YOU FIGHT HARD ENOUGH, SHE WILL STOP. WE AGREED." Fluttershy smiled. "OR… LET'S PUT IT IN A DIFFERENT WAY. IF SHE NOTICES YOU MORE THAN SHE WOULD A FLY, SHE WILL SPARE THIS ONE HOTEL."
Rainbow Dash swallowed. "And if she doesn't?"
"SHE WILL SWAT YOU. LIKE A FLY."
Rainbow Dash stared at the hotel, completely still. She tentatively extended her wings. For the longest time, she just looked at the carnage.
"YOU CAN'T, CAN YOU? NOT ANYMORE."
"Shut up."
"YOU CAN'T SACRIFICE YOURSELF."
"Shut up."
"YOU CAN'T SAVE ANYONE."
"Shut up!"
"NOT EVEN YOUR LITTLE PET HUMAN!"
Rainbow Dash punched Fluttershy in the face, sending her flying into the tree trunk. Leaves rained down. "Shut up!"
They both stood there for a while, panting. Rainbow Dash hoped she did some damage, but Fluttershy was, of course, smiling. One of her eyes was half closed, and her nose was bleeding. When some of the blood reached her mouth, she slowly extended her tongue.
"GOOD," she said. "NOW, IF YOU HAVE ANY CONSCIENCE LEFT, DO THAT TO HER. IF NOT, RUN."
In the distance, the tentacle monster roared, and Rainbow Dash heard it. The laughter. It bounced off the mountain walls, a high-pitched panting shriek that penetrated the air for miles.
She flew in the opposite direction as quickly as she could.
Fluttershy giggled.
– – – –
The Doctor and Ditzy were alone now.
Everyone else had died. Bob. Seven. Reverend Pie. Who knew where Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash were? For all they knew, those two were in on this. Anything seemed possible.
They huddled against a wall.
There, they came up with a brilliant plan. At least in theory. In reality, there seemed to be little useful to do. All the Doctor had on him was his sonic screwdriver. Normally, that would be of some help, but most of the hotel was made of wood, which it was useless against. The only things remaining were a bunch of kitchen appliances, which even the Doctor couldn't make useful.
Negotiating seemed useless. They were up against a tentacle creature that appeared to have no rational thought and, for lack of a better term, the god of this world. Not exactly unusual for the Doctor, but at the very least he needed some leverage, which he currently lacked. He had not only failed to save anybody, but he had failed to notice anything unusual was going on until it was far too late.
The building creaked.
It was risky, but they were going to have to head outside. If he was able to get to the TARDIS, he would be able to do something, even if it was just save themselves. He felt bad enough for what happened to Ditzy…
Ditzy stirred. "Do you hear that?"
The Doctor turned. "What?"
"The building."
It was subtle, but the entire building was creaking, as if it was letting out a long, drawn out moan. Occasionally, wood would snap.
The Doctor looked out the window. He saw the shiny black plates.
"It's squeezing the building," he said.
"You were thinking of going outside, weren't you?"
The Doctor looked down. "I was too late. As usual."
Ditzy smiled. She closed her eyes. "Don't worry about it," she said. "Maybe this is what should have happened from the beginning."
"Don't talk like that."
"I can never go back home, can I? No one would know. It would be natural. The only natural thing."
"Don't talk like that!"
There was a loud snap as the ceiling gave. The Doctor lunged at Ditzy, just barely saving her from a falling beam.
The two panted, the Doctor on top of Ditzy.
Tears began to form in her eyes. "Why?"
The Doctor smiled. "I have to have some hope."
Then he noticed something. His ears perked.
Ditzy's eyes widened. "What? What is it?"
"I've got it!" the Doctor said. "I've got it! I know how we're going to get out of here!"
"What!?"
"It was slight, but when I said I had to have some hope, the tentacles hesitated!"
"So?"
"Don't you see? That creature feeds off of negative emotions! That's why it goes to so much trouble to—"
Ditzy blinked. "You're not saying we're going to fight against this creature with hope, are you?"
The Doctor tried to think of a better way to word that, but couldn't. "Er, yes."
Ditzy saw something, and gained the composure of the completely screwed. She put a hoof on the Doctor's shoulder. "Okay, we don't have much time, so let me briefly explain to you the problem with that plan," she said. "If you were a creature that fed off of fear, what would you do if your victims began to get hope?"
The Doctor looked at her, confused.
She grabbed his head and turned it towards the window. "I'd probably do something like THAT!"
The Doctor didn't have much time to react, but what was clear was that the main body of the creature was lunging towards them extremely quickly, especially for its girth. The Doctor briefly wondered how many tons it weighed before it crashed into the hotel, completely breaking down the wall and sending glass flying everywhere. The place collapsed quickly as it repeatedly heaved against it, emitting desperate screams as it did so.
The Doctor suddenly realized he was still alive, and tried to move. He couldn't. One of the tentacles was wrapped around him, copiously emitting goo in random directions. The Doctor tried not to think about how wet he was getting, and looked for Ditzy. He heard her above him, and saw that she had gotten it worse than he did. Two tentacles were grabbing her from different directions, almost trying to pull her apart, and she was positively soaked.
"Don't worry!" the Doctor yelled. "If I'm right, it won't want to kill us for a while!"
"Very comforting!" Ditzy screamed, struggling with all her might. Then she looked ahead. "Doctor?"
"Yes?"
"What is that?"
It was then the Doctor noticed the creature had a mouth. At least, that was the polite way of describing it. That appeared to be where a good portion of his fluids were coming from.
It quivered, releasing a stream that hit the Doctor and Ditzy head on, and began to open.
They screamed.
Before they knew it, their world was very dark and very, very wet. When they stopped tumbling through the creature's insides, they weren't quite sure if they had hit any sort of solid ground or if they had just been glued in place by its secretions.
"Oh yes," Ditzy said, coughing and spitting out a bunch of stuff, "it feeds on emotions."
The Doctor was still struggling with what appeared to be a giant ball of phlegm attached to his face.
"What I wouldn't give to be dying as a penniless, starving bum right now! At least that would have some dignity!"
"Shut up!" the Doctor yelled, basically free now. He managed to separate himself from the wall. "We're still alive. What's the worst that could happen?"
There was the sound of a tidal wave approaching.
"You just had to say that," Ditzy said.
The walls, if any sane person could call them that, started convulsing, and a wave of what was hopefully water swept the two off their feet. It was impossible to tell where they were going—they were being tumbled around too much. The Doctor had the vague feeling they were going up.
His suspicions were confirmed when they were spit out of the creature's mouth at a ludicrously high velocity. Before either of them had much time to react, they were slammed into the branches of a particularly large tree, shaken, but not stirred.
Ditzy tried to shake herself off, but quickly realized she would need quite a few showers to feel clean after all that.
The Doctor was gaping. "Wha…? How…? Why…?"
Ditzy noticed a small shape flying around the creature. It started to fly towards them at what looked like about mach 10. They heard the sound barrier break, and all the trees shook.
She grabbed the Doctor. "TARDIS! Now!"
They jumped down from the tree and started running as fast as they could go. Behind them, they could hear wing beats, and trees being knocked to the ground. Ditzy desperately hoped the Doctor knew where he was going.
Luckily, after some particularly thick underbrush, they reached the clearing where they parked the TARDIS. The Doctor got out his key, opened the door, and they both jumped inside. He slammed the door shut just in time. They stood there as they heard something ram against it repeatedly, angrily. Even the inside of the TARDIS shook.
"Don't worry," the Doctor said. "It can't get inside. The TARDIS is impenetrable."
"I'd like to make sure of that," Ditzy said, approaching the control panel. "We're leaving. Now."
"But—"
"We don't stand a chance against those things and you know it! If we're going to strike back, we need to at least be alive!"
The Doctor grimaced. He walked over to the control panel, flipped a couple levers, and the TARDIS began to dematerialize. A couple seconds later, the ramming finally stopped.
Ditzy slumped. "Finally. We're safe."
"Relatively speaking," the Doctor said. "Personally, I don't feel safe on any planet with things like that on it."
Ditzy looked at the Doctor. "Do you really think it was her out there?"
"Who?"
"Celestia."
The Doctor was silent.
"I mean, I know she's a bit eccentric, but this?" Ditzy said. "I have trouble believing this."
The Doctor looked up. "It could be. If it was…" He shook his head. "I can only be glad she's trapped in this universe."
"Trapped?"
"Yeah, that's probably why I—"
"She's not trapped."
The Doctor turned. "What?"
"Rainbow Dash told me she went to the human world once."
The Doctor's face fell. "And by 'she,' you mean…?"
"Celestia, obviously."
– – – –
Rainbow Dash flew away extremely quickly, her surroundings almost a complete blur. She avoided trees out of pure instinct. She didn't care if she hit anything. She knew Fluttershy would punish her, but it would be worth it. She wanted to get away from that place, even if only temporarily. Anywhere but there. Please. Anywhere but there. The things she was hearing behind her. Oh god…
It was then she noticed the light. A bright, rectangular light in the middle of forest for some reason.
She couldn't stop herself fast enough to avoid hitting it. She braced herself, but instead of colliding against it, she suddenly found herself in a large room filled with railings and platforms and an odd pulsating cylinder in the center.
There was one other person in the room. A gray pegasus with blonde hair and a thick bandage over her eyes. Despite obstensibly not being able to see, she was clearly looking right at Rainbow Dash.
Rainbow Dash's eyes widened. "Wait, you're—"
Ditzy smiled. "Want to save the world again?"