A sapient being adapts to its environment to survive and thrive. Unfortunately for me, I wasn’t able to learn how to sleep on a caravan pulled by mini-horses in time for dawn. I had pulled all-nighters occasionally at Earth and felt like shit at the end. This time was no different. My body felt as stiff as a board of wood as I slowly made my way out of my seat. Once I was on firm ground, I twisted and heard my bones complain loudly. I could have used my powers, but I was much more wary about using it on myself after I got Eagle Vision.
Now feeling a lot more relaxed than before, I glanced over to where the ponies and griffin gathered off to and found that they were setting up a makeshift camp. At the edge of the camp, I saw Gold Rush gesture for me to come closer. I walked over to her in Altair’s swaying gait, smirking gently at my well-practiced skill. She flicked her ears impatiently at my pace.
A few more strides found me at her side. I leaned forward a little to hear her better, “So, what do you need?” She looked up and met my gaze, “Well, you know we all have our tasks right? Set up the tents, keep watch, ration supplies, that stuff.”
“Your point being?”
“We need you to scout out the area. Ponies are easy to spot and Gandalf is integral for the success of this mission.”
I gave her a look, “And I’m not?”
She shrugged, “You’re not the only bipedal mercenary. You were just the first one we could find. Minotaur mercs are simply harder to convince and want the money in advance.” Seeing my slightly disappointed expression, she playfully hit me with her hoof, “We’re not asking you to fight an army, only to see if there’s one to worry about.”
I hid my pained expression and resisted the urge to cover my groin. It was easy to forget that these ponies are stronger than they look, “You speak differently, you know that? A bit too eloquent for a soldier.”
She shrugged, “I’m nobility. Only things I could do as an earth pony in a unicorn house was look pretty and keep track of funds. Got bored and ran away to join the army,” she said nonchalantly.
I nodded my head slowly and opened my mouth to say something that was burning itself in my mind since I stayed with Tempered Steel’s family, “You ponies are very open with your lives. Just about every single pony I’ve met here talked to me like I was a close friend of theirs. I’ve been dumped with so much personal information it’s kinda confusing me.”
Gold Rush’s somewhat interested expression slowly twisted into a look of understanding as I lifted the load from my mind, “Many other races were confused about that too when they encountered their first pony. Call it herd mentality or just plain friendliness, but we feel safer when there are friends around us, and what better way than making sure that they know we’re not just faces in the crowd. Now stop dawdling and get a move on.”
Two hours later revealed absolutely nothing except for a few patrols that were too distant to cause trouble. None of them saw me; probably because they were too busy fighting off various predators that were attracted to the stench of steak that appeared out of nowhere. After returning to base, I got to sleep for five hours. Then a certain someone prodded me in the stomach with his very sharp talon to wake me up.
The cycle of traveling, scouting, and sleeping continued for the next few days. It was extremely boring. So I took the time to break up the monotony by getting to know my companions better. Tempered Steel was an old war veteran longing for one more glorious battle. Cherry Tap and Whole Grain were cousins from a family of prominent farmers, Thunder Strike was a pseudonym and her real name was Autumn Wind, Gold Rush and Blueblood were rich, and Gandalf doesn’t seem to trust me. The last one mildly worried me. He seemed rather friendly to me when we met.
On the fourth day, we arrived at the city where the Great Khan was supposed to be at. The guards at the gate were suspicious of a caravan arriving in the dead of night and halted us. One pouch of gold later and we were inside the city. And what a city it was.
The first thing to notice was that there were no tall buildings. The second thing was that there were loads and loads of soldiers. They roamed around in small groups. They weren’t very well-armed though. Half of them didn’t have armor and I spotted a few without any weapons at all.
I looked around as we proceeded through the city. As we reached our destination, a dilapidated warehouse that I was sure would fall on our heads, I managed to glean a few more facts from the surroundings. The griffons were angry; a riot had started and was put down by lethal force. The ponies were angry; one had killed a dog and was about to be put down when the executioner was swarmed by ponies and torn apart before being suppressed by several other dogs. The dogs were paranoid; I saw one dog brain another one with his mace as the other accidentally surprised him. The atmosphere was tense, and chaos was just waiting to be unleashed. I was only willing to oblige.
The moment we bundled into the warehouse, the ponies immediately cast off their rags and retrieved their armor from the three wagons. I was given the task of unloading the actual goods of the wagons. Gandalf left to talk to some of his contacts. After I unloaded all the crates, I was rewarded with boredom and inactivity as I waited for Gandalf to return. After the first hour, I gave up and left the building in search of stuff to do.
Asking around saw me going to a district that was controlled by pony slaves that had risen up against the dogs. Unlike the other parts of the city, the roads in this district were caked in fecal matter, urine, and bits of junk. I wisely made the decision to walk on a side path. A few minutes saw me in the center of the district watching ponies trample on dogs armed with rubber chickens. The strain of using my powers made itself known as an annoying headache.
Totally worth it.
I watched with a contented smile on my face as the ground was stained with the blood of the enemy. That contented smile returned to a neutral expression as the ponies rushed towards me.
Crap.
Bipedal equals enemy.
“For the Diarchy!” A raving pony yelled as he galloped towards me. The chorus of frenzied responses would have probably unsettled me had I not already taken off. I know if I’m outmatched. Anything could be swarmed and overpowered, even if you were nigh immortal.
I dashed around a corner and rushed through a surprised guard group who recognized my form and stature enough to not swing at me. They would buy me some time. I confirmed it after glancing back and seeing fanatical ponies charge the small group. By the time I reached the warehouse I was panting and close to collapse.
I find it somewhat amusing that you’re dressed as Altaïr and out of breath for what he considers a small exercise. He’d be rolling in his grave if he actually existed.
It’s not funny at all.
“What’s not funny?” I swore under my breath as I realized I spoke out loud. I looked up and saw Gandalf looking at me curiously, his distrustful eyes seemingly scanning me for a sign. “Nothing,” I intoned, trying to keep the exhaustion out of my voice and failing completely. The corners of Gandalf’s beak twitched, “I see,” he responded, slightly dragging the last word.
I flinched inwardly, the unnatural neutrality in his voice unsettling me. Gandalf looked at me creepily, intensifying the awkwardness of the situation. “So…” I said as I tried to defuse the situation, “… what do we do now?”
The tension around us faded and we both relaxed a little. “I have gotten word that the Great Khan has called forth the nearby Noyans for a war council in light of the pony resistance. The meeting will take place in thirty minutes. The griffins have agreed to revolt if you succeed in assassinating him. You know what you have to do.”
I feel so much like James Bond getting briefed on his latest mission.
Yeah, but we all know how this is going to end. An immortal equipped with the powers of creation and a bunch of dogs with clubs? Not even a chance.
Luna inanely levitated another piece of parchment in front of her, stopping only to skim the contents before scribbling something at the bottom. Paperwork. Luna silently cursed her far-too-benevolent sister. What need would Equestria ever have of yet another statue of Celestia? Or for her to cut some ribbon in front of a newly made establishment? Anypony could do that! The first one, she could understand. But the pointlessness of the second was rather off-putting.
But of course, her sister had caved in. She erected monuments of herself and cut ribbons and went to parties and did just about every ridiculous thing the ponies wanted short of actually managing the Diarchy. And the ponies loved her for it.
She tried the cutting ribbon thing once. She thought that the oversized scissors were rather boring, so she tried something else. She took a sword out of the armory and enchanted it to burn with ethereal flames. The entire time the event took place; ponies were paying attention to the sword instead of its wielder. While she had expected that, she did not expect the looks of fear and apprehension directed at her after she relinquished it to a courier to return it to the armory. After that, she resolved to not engage in any more of those pointless tasks. She returned to the shadows of the Diarchy, working endlessly to keep it together. It was a thankless task, and she knew it, but she felt a pang of envy inside her whenever she saw her being applauded by their subjects whenever she arrived.
But that was why she was doing this without telling her sister. A monster of evil slipped past her sister’s supposedly all-seeing eyes (at least, according to those who were fanatical about her) into her gaze. If all goes according to plan, she would be greatly respected by both ponies and griffins alike. Their false hero would fall by her hoof and she would have everything to gain.
Luna hummed a cheerful tune as she worked and filled out her papers with far more enthusiasm than before.