A/N: Inspired by “Eye of Equestria” by RainbowDash935. My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic and anything else is owned by its respective owners.
Essence of Mother Therese
Chapter 1: Butterflies in my Stomach
What is this place filled with so many wonders casting its spell that I am now under?
I never thought that life could be anything but a drifting feeling. Boy was I wrong. Oh, I’m sorry. I’m getting ahead of myself. I tend to do that… a lot. It’s probably better if I start from the beginning. I just never imagined that I would actually be the animal-loving, tree-hugging, and down-to-earth pony from the show I had recently become fascinated by.
It’s true. I am Fluttershy.
Don’t get me wrong. It wasn’t always like that. The last few moments are difficult for me to remember, but I’ll tell you what I can recall.
It was a partially damp evening on my way back from classes.
---
While it wasn’t raining, the humid and misty air gave me a bit of a chill walking down the street back to my house. Besides the few birds chirping, the only sound I could hear was the sound of my sneakers against the concrete sidewalk.
I never really considered myself as anything above average. I get embarrassed when too much praise is given to me by other people. I was just the guy trying his hardest in school and avoiding too much conversation with people, let alone with friends.
I had Asperger’s syndrome. I still do in a way. It was only discovered within the past decade so not much is really known about it except that it acts as a social inhibitor. I like a quiet atmosphere with very little happening at any given time.
My immediate source of entertainment was always a video game. Heh, I remember wasting hours on those, internet surfing, and watching parody videos on Youtube. Oh, I’m rambling. Sorry.
Anyway, I unlocked my house door with the key I always keep in my jacket pocket. I went inside before shutting the door behind me. As usual, my little dog came out from hiding barking happily over my arrival. Never a dull moment.
On the table was note saying, “I’ll be back late tonight. Had some things to attend to. Love you. Mom.”
Bless her soul. Never once did she apply discipline without a good reason. Sure she isn’t perfect, but then show me a human being that is.
After eating some leftovers from the fridge, feeding the dog, and wasting the usual hours on leisurely use of electronics, I went to bed.
Something was different that night. A strange forest green aura surrounded my body. I couldn’t move. The aura slowly changed shades from green to yellow and then from yellow to a slightly paler yellow.
After I somehow blinked in my frozen state, I could see nothing but a gray void all around me. I was floating for lack of a better verb.
In the distance, I could see and hear someone screaming. I couldn’t be sure who was screaming as the vision was barely perceptible for more than a second.
“Frightening isn’t it?”
Startled at the sudden question, I spun around to face the asker. I couldn’t believe my eyes.
It was Celestia, alicorn goddess and Princess of Equestria, well a princess of Equestria not the princess.
She had a sad smile on her muzzle. I wasn’t entirely sure what to make of this, but she picked up the speech from there.
“That’s why I need you, kindhearted human.”
“Me? You need me?” I asked with eyebrow raised, “For what?”
“The shriek you just witnessed was the last sound of the recently deceased bearer of Kindness.”
“Fluttershy… is dead?” If I could have a heart attack on command, I would have done so right then.
Celestia nodded slowly. “That is why Equestria needs you, a heart and soul filled with compassion.”
A small orb of pale yellow light appeared out of nowhere and flung itself into my chest.
“Please accept this,” Celstia urged gently but firmly.
I emptied my mind while taking a deep breath as the orb entered my body and fused with me. A strange tingling ran throughout my whole being.
“You have been chosen to fill the vessel of Kindess.”
“But…but I struggle with kids and animals! I can’t replace Fluttershy!” I panicked.
Celestia’s smile changed from sad to understanding. “I know you have reasons to doubt, but believe me when I say that you are the most kindhearted of the humans.”
As we were talking, I didn’t even notice the speedy transformation of my hands into hooves and my lengthening hair turning pink.
“I’m still not sure, but I’ll do what I can,” I decided.
“Good luck, my little pony,” Celestia said with a wink.
Soft, feathered wings sprouted from my back before the yellow energy hurled me through a tunnel of sightless vision. I assumed a state of unconsciousness.
---
When I opened my eyes, I saw a completely foreign yet somewhat familiar room. Early morning sunlight allowed me to see that I was in a bed with a red-and-white checkered quilt with a butterfly pattern.
Unused to my new body, I did the only logical thing. I fell out of bed flat onto my face.
“Oof…” I grunted. I immediately noted that my pitch sounded exactly like Andrea Libman’s gentler voice.
“I guess this is my voice now,” I said while carefully getting up on all fours.
A rumbling from my stomach interrupted my self-query. Then another thought immediately crossed my mind. Fluttershy has several animals she has to feed on a daily basis. How could I possibly know what to do?
A sudden calm feeling flowed through my mind and body. Just let Fluttershy’s instincts guide your actions, the feeling seemed to say. I quietly obliged.
It was surprisingly easy to give each animal its appropriate breakfast of choice. I was equally amazed that Angel bunny didn’t notice anything different or suspicious about me. To him, I was the same, shy hoof that always fed him.
After eating a small salad myself, I decided to go for a walk outside. Apparently Fluttershy and I had more in common than I thought. Walks were our method of clearing thoughts and relieving depression. Some of the animals followed me as I headed down the path outside the door, though several more were content to stay inside immediately after eating their meals.
My mind wandered to one more random thought. Where in time had I come in to fill Fluttershy’s horseshoes? For all I knew, I was in a time long before the Nightmare Moon arc or long after the unknown events of Season 3. I didn’t wonder about that for long as an unusual pink cloud pouring a dark brown rain passed by right at that moment. In hot pursuit of that cloud was a familiar rainbow streak that I could safely assume was Rainbow Dash.
Ohhhh, I hope I’m ready for this, I thought. Clearly, I would have to make my way to Sweet Apple Acres for “Return of Harmony” to take place. I wasn’t really looking forward to saying goodbye to Fluttershy’s sweet demeanor. Or would that be my demeanor?
Anyway, I started flapping my wings. Somehow, I knew I could fly over at least a little faster than I could walk over. Some of Fluttershy’s animals followed me as I made my way over to the farm where the inevitable crop destruction would surely be.
---
“No! It’s not possible! I must be seeing things!” the shocked words poured out of my mouth. Without a second thought I was saying exactly what Fluttershy said in that part of the episode word for word. The scene was complete with the deer legged animals and everything.
Twilight Sparkle quickly told plan B involving the combined efforts of Rainbow Dash and Applejack to round up the unnatural, sugar-filled clouds. She whispered something in my ear and I knew what I had to do.
“Oh dear,” I said with as dramatic a tone as possible, “I hope none of the animals see these delicious chocolate-filled cotton candy clouds. I’d hate to have to share them.”
“You and me both, sister!” Pinkie Pie said without missing a beat, though she did miss a bite that the animals took their opportunity to get in. “Hey!” Pinkie said in displeasure.
I knew it wouldn’t be long before the inevitable plot device letter showed up. Spike belched it, Twilight read it, and we were on our way to Canterlot. It was kind of neat seeing the chariot that took us, because it was off-screen in the episode. I hid my excitement since Fluttershy’s not one to get excited about big-time adventures.
---
“Twists and turns are my master plan. Then find the elements back where you began,” the all too familiar draconequus laughed evilly.
“Can we go home now?” I asked hopefully even though I already knew the answer.
“Twists and turns… That’s it! I bet Discord hid the elements in the palace labyrinth!” Twilight had her Eureka moment.
“Good luck, my little ponies,” said Celestia before ‘knighting’ Twilight, “The fate of Equestria is in your hooves.”
“Thanks, Princess. We won’t let you down,” Twilight vowed. We were off to the labyrinth.
---
I lost my wings. That was just terrible. But right now, missing wings were the least of my concerns.
Coupling Fluttershy’s panophobia with my own xenophobia only quadrupled how scared I felt in this maze of heavy bushes.
Fortunately, that didn’t stop me from following the butterflies that resembled my cutie mark. Well, maybe that was unfortunate. I don’t know.
“Not at all,” I replied to the amusingly squeaky voice of the goat-horned butterfly, “I am weak and helpless and I appreciate their understanding.” I have to admit, counter-trolling Discord felt really good. Especially since it was technically me doing the counter-trolling, I found the situation to be even funnier than watching it in third-person.
At least, it was funny until the moment of ultimate hacks arrived and Discord pounded my head with just one of his fingers.
“You’ve been kind for far too long my dear. Time to be cruel. Arrivederci,” said the huffy chimera as he disappeared.
I waited for the urges to be Flutterwry to take effect… and waited… and waited. Something was off. I had no desire to be a meanie or any reverse of personality. In fact, as I looked at my hoof again, I noticed it still had the same yellow color. Not a shade of gray had covered it at all.
“Fluttershy!” said a relieved Twilight, “I’m so glad to see a friendly face. This awful labyrinth is getting to every pony.” After that I heard a raspberry which I assumed came from Angry Pie.
Since I wasn’t gray, I decided to test new waters and see what sticks. Who cared about the script?
“I’m glad to see you too,” I gave a relieved breath and hugged Twilight with my hooves, “I was so scared when the walls separated us.”
Twilight let out a relieved sigh as well, “It’s good to know that you’re still yourself.” Right at that moment, it didn’t matter to me if I had created a time paradox. I was hugging my favorite pony. I couldn’t be happier.
---
The departure of Rainbow Dash saddened me, but I knew it was going to happen. It had to happen in order for Discord to declare us the losers and give us our horns and wings back. Even chaos followed a certain order.
I only partially felt relief from recovering my appendages of flight. The other part felt sorry for Twilight as I looked at her helpless expression in the face of failure.
“Well quit it!” shouted Angry Pie actually making Discord show an expression of worry for the briefest of moments, “You’d better think before you laugh at the Pink!” Angry Pie stopped for a second to think, “…ie Pie!”
That line was even more amusing live. I couldn’t help snickering a little.
“Quit it!” she turned to me. That face filled with hatred and rage scared the laugh right out of me.
“I’m so sorry,” I blurted while taking a step back. She made a motion with her hoof and her eye that seemed to say, “I’m watching you.”
Meanwhile, Applejack and Rarity were having their argument over who should have the “diamond”. I didn’t get to watch the flashback moment that Discord showed Twilight because his version of “time travel” happened in a split-second from my perspective. Though, it did cheer me up to hear Twilight’s second Eureka moment of the day.
“If we get back to the library, I have a book that I just know could give us a clue- AH!” Twilight was immediately trampled by the stampede of bunny…deer…things.
I tried being disciplinary here, “Angel! How could you? You should be ashamed of yourself.” It didn’t help. After roads became soap, day and night flipped on a theoretical light switch, and Discord skated away, Twilight stated her resolve.
“Ponyville, the chaos capital of the world? Not if I have anything to say about it.”
“That goes triple for me,” I asserted.
---
Being one of the first to enter the tree library, (no idea why Discord decided to leave this building alone) I had to wake up Spike. I knew he would be the best index for finding the book we needed. But tapping him gently and slowly shaking him weren’t doing the job. Sighing, I resorted to the tactic that Flutterwry used in the show. A wet shivering Spike was the result.
“What’d you do that for, Fluttershy?” asked Spike.
“I’m sorry, Spike but we need you awake and you’re kind of a heavy sleeper,” I replied hoping that it was a reasonable explanation. I wore a sheepish smile after saying that. Unfortunately, there was no cute squee to complete the look.
“I…uh…huh?” said a confused Spike.
That’s when “Tom” made his grand entrance through the wall.
“Twilight, what’s going on?” Spike was still confused, “Why does everybody look so… gray?”
“Don’t ask,” spat Twilight, “We’ve got to find the reference guide to the Elements of Harmony.”
“The Elements of Harmony? Oh, I know exactly where that book is.” Spike quickly moved a ladder over to the shelf he was aiming for. “Found it.”
Unlike the episode where Fluttershy normally throws a scroll to intercept the book, Rarity instead grabbed it with her blue magic.
“Mine!” she demanded.
“Hey!” yelled Twilight, “Do you even know what you just stole?”
“No, but if you want it, I want it.”
“Give me that book!”
Just as Twilight gained on her, Rarity took a sharp left turn leaving Twilight to reintroduce herself to “Tom”.
Dizzily, she asked, “Where is she? Where’s Rarity?”
“Beats me,” said Liarjack.
“Lies!” Twilight jumped onto Liarjack and Angry Pie. All three got into a hoof fight that somehow ended up with Twilight jumping out with the book in her possession.
“Get back! All of you!” breathed Twilight, “This is my book and I’m going to READ IT!” Spike stood in a guard position with scroll in claw. I stood next to him in a taunting position to the other three ponies waving my front hooves up in front of me like fists.
“*Gasp* The Elements!” exclaimed Twilight, “They were here all along!” Sure enough, all five necklaces and the tiara were inside the hollow space left in the book by pages that had been cut out.
---
Chapter 2: Where the Heart Really is
“Necklace, necklace, necklace, necklace, and big crown thingy!” huffed Twilgiht, “Come on, everypony. Let’s go!”
“But Twilight, aren’t you missing somepony?” asked Spike.
“Nope. We’ve got the liar, the grump, the hoarder, and Fluttershy. That just about covers it.” I wasn’t sure whether to be relieved or disappointed that she didn’t have a nickname for me.
“But what about Rainbow Dash?”
“Congratulations, Spike. You’re the new Rainbow Dash.” She shoved the red Element of Loyalty onto him.
“Me?” worried Spike, “B-b-but what if she finds out I’ve been impersonating her? *moan* That won’t end well.”
“Yeah, you’d probably end up as dragon mush.” That voice! It couldn’t be…
I turned to the right and saw a familiar friend.
“Rainbow Dash!” I exclaimed, “You’re back!”
“Yeah, I thought about it and… well, Cloudsdale can wait until we save all of Equestria,” she answered. I noticed she wasn’t grayed out like in the episode.
“That it can,” Twilight confirmed while levitating the Element of Loyalty necklace off Spike and onto Rainbow Dash. “Everypony ready? Good,” Twilight didn’t even wait for an answer as she headed outside. I’m glad nopony trampled Spike this time.
---
“I’m prepared to be defeated, ladies. Fire when ready,” said Discord as he summoned his belly-target out of nowhere. I don’t think he could’ve been more sarcastic if he tried.
“Okay, girls! Get in formation,” said our fearless leader.
“Right!” acknowledged Rainbow Dash and me. The other three just sort of muttered reluctant agreements as we huddled up. All six trinkets glowed, but Honesty, Generosity, and Laughter seemed a bit dimmer compared to the glow of Magic, Loyalty, and Kindness.
This isn’t going to work, I worriedly thought. A fizzling sound confirmed my concern before all six of us dropped to the ground.
“What’s going on?” Twilight asked.
“Mine’s working. There must be something wrong with yours,” Liarjack replied.
“I HATE the Elements of Harmony!” blurted Angry Pie.
“This can’t be,” I despaired.
“What do we do now?” questioned Rainbow Dash.
“I. Don’t. Know,” stated a let-down Twilight. Discord took this opportunity to laugh out loud. That. Big. Dumb. Meanie! A new righteous fury filled me at that moment. I wasn’t even sure it was totally me or Fluttershy moving as I spoke my next words.
“Hey! Meanie! You think you’ve won? You may have turned three of our friends’ minds, but you can’t restrain Harmony that easily!” As I felt confidence and passion burning I turned to my two remaining friends.
My next words were spoken with a slightly softer but still clearly audible voice, “I remember my father talking to me about something important.”
---
*Flashback to a point in Fluttershy’s off-screen life*
“Fluttershy, do you know where the heart is?” Daddy asked me.
“Is it… somewhere around… here?” I tried replying as I placed a hoof over my chest.
“Well,” he began as he lifted his hoof out in front of him into the space between us, “I think it’s more around here.”
“Huh?” I couldn’t understand how a heart could be in empty air.
“When we meet for the first time, a bond is formed between us,” he began, “Our hearts aren’t limited by our physical bodies. When we remember someone and really care about them, that is the place where our hearts are born.” My eyes widened at this deep philosophy.
“If you were alone in this world, you wouldn’t have a heart. Don’t worry, Shy Fly. If you want your heart to stay here, it will and if your heart is here then that’s the reason why you’re here.” I just continued to stare at him in awe as I took this all in.
“We entrust our hearts to our friends and family.”
“Entrust them to our friends and family?” I echoed.
“If you give your heart to your friends, it will stay alive within them. So don’t drift through life alone. Never forget that,… my little Shy Fly.”
---
“Our hearts… reside in our friends?” queried Twilight. Rainbow Dash looked at me with equal interest.
“The reverse is also true,” I added, “Our friends’ hearts reside in us.”
I turned back toward Discord, “You may have our friends’ bodies, but that’s not where their hearts are.” I held a hoof up to my chest. “I remember, the friend who taught me the importance of giving part of oneself to ensure the benefit of another.” Something flashed, and on my necklace, the purple diamond Element of Generosity was now next to my own pink butterfly Element of Kindness.
“I think I understand,” realized Rainbow Dash, “I remember… the friend who showed me that the best way to stay loyal to another was to be truthful and straightforward, accepting the consequences.” A brief flash of light revealed the orange-colored apple Element of Honesty next to the red lightning bolt Element of loyalty.
“And I remember,” started Twilight, “the friend that helped me open up my personal bubble and did everything she could to make me happy.” This time the light gave Twilight the blue balloon Element of Laughter around her neck while the pink star Element of Magic remained on her head.
“What?” exclaimed an unusually frightened Discord, “That’s impossible! This shouldn’t be happening.”
“You think you can destroy Harmony just by bringing out darker personalities,” I said.
“But the spirit of those Elements live on in us,” Rainbow Dash continued.
“And the hearts of those that bear those Elements will stay alive as long as even one of us remembers,” concluded Twilight Sparkle.
The Elements glowed brighter than any of us had ever seen as the three of us floated above the ground. Various colored shapes blasted from the gems toward Discord. As I held a sort of prayer stance in the air, I couldn’t help but smile. I was almost oblivious to the giant rainbow ribbon of light that blasted Discord and turned him into a screaming statue. A huge magical explosion sealed the deal, restoring order to the whole town and everypony in it.
“Woah, what happened?” asked Applejack.
“Good heavens! What did I do?” worried a revived Rarity.
“Hee hee hee. I turned gray,” giggled Pinkie Pie, “Gray. Ha ha ha. Can you believe it?”
---
After the grand Star Wars-esque celebration in Canterlot Castle, all seven of us (Spike included) returned to Ponyville. Small talk on the train led to a more depressing topic.
“Some Element of Generosity I am,” said a somber Rarity, “I let greed for gems blind me from the friends that needed me the most.”
“And I couldn’t even brave myself to face the truth,” added an ashamed Applejack, “In the end we couldn’t even help the three ponies that were still colored.”
“You’re wrong, Applejack,” Twilight interrupted the depressing dialogue, “It was still all six of us that managed to overcome Discord’s chaos.”
“That’s right,” I confirmed, “If it weren’t for the memories and care we had for you three, we wouldn’t have been able to use all six of the Elements in the first place.”
“Yeah, we stick together even when we don’t,” chimed in Rainbow. Heh, I love it when she does that, simplifies a wordy explanation. Applejack and Rarity seemed slightly happier upon our defending praises of them.
(A/N: Fluttershy’s flashback was based off of the heart-touching scene between Rukia Kuchiki and lieutenant Kaien of squad 13 on Bleach. If you watch Rukia’s fight with Aaroniero, you’ll get to see Rukia’s flashback to the very scene. Bleach belongs to its respective owners.)
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Chapter 3: Backed by Trust
That night I gave all of my animals their evening meals. Funny… I’ve started to think of them as my animals. I guess they kind of are, but still… I have to wonder.
“Where are you, Fluttershy?” I asked the empty quiet air of the bedroom upstairs. “What happened to you?”
Only silence responded. I decided asking a rhetorical question to nobody wasn’t going to solve anything so I headed into bed. Just as I was about to turn the light off, I heard a light tapping coming from the window. I looked over slowly, wondering what it was.
“Rainbow Dash?” I mouthed, slowly moseying over before opening the window, “What are you doing here?”
“I… I need to tell you something and I don’t want to make it public, at least not yet,” she said with her ears flopped down and her eyes averted from direct contact. I thought it was unusual, but in keeping with Fluttershy’s instinctual character, I said nothing.
“I’m not Rainbow Dash,” she rushed over the words, “at least not the original.”
“W…What,” I asked not really understanding the gravity of her words.
“A few months ago,” she explained, “I was a human on Earth. But then Princess Luna came to me in a dream and there was this really weird aura of light and now…” she paused causing a dramatic effect, “I’ve become Rainbow Dash.”
I wasn’t sure what made me sit down in shock at that moment: the absurdity of that story or the fact that it resembled my own experience.
“I’m sorry I hid it for so long,” she held her head down in shame. What could I do? I had to say something, anything.
Come on, Fluttershy, I thought, She’s your friend. Comfort her. Show her your kindness. I took a deep breath before saying the next phrase in what I would consider passing for an inside voice.
“You don’t have to apologize.” As I said that, I reached one wing across her back in a semi-hug.
“You’ve done nothing wrong.” That seemed to be the right choice of words. She returned the half hug with her hoof and her face wore a teary smile.
“Thanks, Fluttershy.”
“Anytime. And as far as I’m concerned, you can keep the name Rainbow Dash for as long as you need it.”
She nodded. “Well, good night,” she prepared to take off through the window.
“Wait!” I shouted, well with the 1 decibel that Fluttershy can usually muster.
“Huh?” she halted.
“I…,” I started, “There’s something I need to tell you before making it public too.”
“What’s that?” she almost whispered as she returned all four hooves to the floor.
“W…well, it’s just that…” I stumbled over words. Ugh, why is this so hard?
“Come again?” Rainbow asked.
“That’s exactly what happened to me yesterday,” I hurried over the sentence.
“Wait…what?”
“Last night when I went to bed, I had a dream about Princess Celestia telling me that the previous Fluttershy had somehow died and disappeared from existence. Then she gave me this orb of light that turned me into Fluttershy. When I woke up, I was here.”
Rainbow’s eyes rivaled the size of dinner plates. “Really?”
“Yes,” I finished, “I wasn’t sure how to tell anypony else since I was afraid nopony would believe me. But if you went through the same thing, then that makes it sound more possible.”
“Huh,” she stated rather than questioned, “that’s interesting.”
“So… um,” I prepared for a slightly in depth question, “Where do we go from here? Can we really stand in for Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy?”
She seemed to scratch her neck thoughtfully before replying, “Maybe, maybe not. For now we’ll do the best we can.”
“Y…yeah,” I said with a little more bravado.
“Besides, I can’t even remember what my name was before becoming Rainbow Dash.”
“Funny. I can’t remember my human name either.”
“Well, that’ll make the transition easier.”
“Y…yeah, you’re right.”
We stood facing each other for a couple more moments before simultaneously letting out a yawn.
“It’s getting late,” said Rainbow, “I should get going to bed. I seem to recall a scheduled weather movement I have to do tomorrow morning.”
“Okay, have a safe flight home,” I said, “Good night, Rainbow Dash.”
“Good night Fluttershy,” she replied as she flew out the window.
I’m glad I could tell somepony about that night. It’s easier to trust when there’s nothing to hide. I returned under the covers of my bed before falling fast asleep.
---
(I don’t know if I’ll continue this. Feedback is appreciated though not necessary.)