A huge pounding on the library door made Twilight wake up with a start. She looked out the window to see the moon in the middle of the sky and looked at the clock on her wall to reveal that it was, in fact, the middle of the night.
"Two-thirty, TWO-THIRTY! Why in all of Equestria is some idiot pony knocking..."
An even louder bang made Twilight jump and rethink her current rant.
"... BANGING on my door?"
Twilight made her way downstairs without laking in the colorful language department. Princess Celestia would be so proud.
Twilight opened the door to find nothing short of an angry mob complete with pitchforks and torches. In the front row was the mayor and about half a dozen cows.
In the second row was pitchfork wielding Princess Celestia.
"Princess Celestia?"
"Hello, Twilight Sparkle, I guess you've noticed my presence."
Twilight raised and eyebrow, "It was truly an effort I must tell you, you just blend in so well with your... pitchfork."
"Yes, well I pride myself in my camouflage. All of Equestria almost crumbled to pieces while me and Luna were playing hide and seek. I had to hide in the vegetable cabinet, but it was all worth it."
The mayor and some cows cleared their throats.
"Oh, yes back to business," Princess Celestia reminded herself, "Twilight Sparkle, although I am extremely proud of your colorful language-"
Twilight cut her off, "Wait, how could you have heard that?"
Celestia chuckled, "Twilight, you mean to tell me you've lived three doors down from me for ten years and you never noticed I was a vampire?"
The whole angry mob burst into laughter. Some shouts of, "Wow, what a stupid idiot!" and "I though she was suppose to be the smart one!" echoed in Twilight's ears.
It was about that moment when Spike came into the picture. He rubbed his eyes with one claw and gripped a plush of Rarity in the other.
"What's going on out here?" he asked.
"Twilight didn't know I am a vampire," Celestia stated.
Spike blinked then fell to the floor in laughter, "Oh, that is rich!"
"SPIKE! How did you know?!"
"It's so obvious!"
"Actually its not! How can you make me believe you are a vampire? They can't even go out in the sun, let alone lift it everyday! You eat food, you have normal teeth, I've never seen you turn into a bat!"
"Alright Ms. Thinks She Knows Everything About Vampires, that is the fictional version of vampires. We vampires would never put down our actual weaknesses and strengths in stories, that would be just silly."
"Hey what about that one author? She completely gave your secrets to all the world!" one pony yelled from the back of the crowd.
Celestia's mood went instantly dark, "Oh yes, Stephanie Marer... the devil herself. She was a disgrace to our kind, luckily she was taken care of shortly after her fourth book."
"You mean to tell me everything in those burnable books is true?"
The whole mob answered with one big 'Yes', and Twilight couldn't help but facehoof.
"Wait! I've still found a flaw in your secret plans! How could you possibly go outside in the sunlight if you would glisten? HA, beat that reasoning!"
"Twilight."
"Yes?"
"Twilight."
"Yes?"
"Twilight."
"WHAT!"
Celestia pointed to her horn, "Twilight, I'm an all powerful alicorn. Do you think that in my over a thousand years of life that i didn't come up with a spell to cover up my sparkling body? In the olden days when my subjects didn't know my secret the spell was very useful. Even though now all of my subjects know of my true heritage, it is just easier to not attract as much attention. It's hard enough to go out in public as a princess, but as a sparkling princess? I'm surprised there's not a sparkling Princess Celestia toy yet."
"Well, this has been fun, but I'm going back to bed. Maybe this will all make sense in the morning."
"Oh, Twilight, before you do, take these," Celestia levitated two pieces of paper over to Twilight who grabbed them with a hoof and began reading them.
Her eyes began to widen, "A court summons?!"
"Read the other one."
Twilight shuffled the papers, "TWO COURT SUMMONS? Destruction of town property and.... sexual assault?"
The mayor then stepped forward and cleared her throat, "Yes, Ms. Sparkle, after your little incident with the Ursa Minor, Ponyville is left without a water supply or water tower. Ponies will be forced to use the river for all their water needs, and within two days I know somepony is going to murder another."
"You do realized I saved the town though."
"Don't concern yourself with the numbers, Ms. Sparkle."
"And the assault comes from us," the alpha cow stated, " we did not appreciate the little stunt you did with the water tower tonight. Some of the girls had a mental breakdown."
"Well, Ms. Sparkle, we'll see you in court five days from now. Have a good night."
The mob began to disperse until there was nobody left. They all left their burnt out torches though, but Twilight would deal with those tomorrow.
Spike yawned, picked his plush Rarity off of the floor, and headed for bed. Twilight stopped him when he was halfway up the stairs.
"Princess Celestia isn't a vampire is she?"
"Of course not."
They both crawled into bed to catch up on some much needed sleep, but before Spike drifted off he whispered, "But I'm five bits richer."