Yesterday I went to my second session with Sweet Ears, it went shit. First she asked me about how much I had drunk since our last meeting, and I answered honestly, after failing to lie about it. It was a little too much, and she looked really disappointed. She said that she was going to tell Cheerilee about it, and that is the last thing I want. Then she told me that she had spoken to some pony and apparently I have a job now. That was a surprise. So tomorrow is my first day as an professional babysitter. Can you imagine? Me taking care of kids isn't the best idea, but I promised Sweet Ears to at least try. It is a really shitty job, but I have to do it. If I earn money I can help paying the rent, which is a step in the right direction.
Twinkle Shine, my old classmate, is going out of town in a week or so to meet some friends in Canterlot so for my first job I have to take care of her child over a night. I remember when she got pregnant, there were so many rumours, even if she was like 25 years old. She had just arrived back to Ponyville after working in Canterolt in about a year. She looked awfully suspicious, and as it turned out she was pregnant and single. Twinkle Shine had always been that innocent but popular cheerfilly in school with really strict parents. And now the story about her "unwanted" soon to be born baby was all over the newspaper, 'cause that’s the most exiting thing that had happened in Ponyville apparently. Pathetic. Anyhow, as it turned out she'd been dating some stallion for like two years and were almost engaged. Embarrassing for the gossip journalist though. Oh here I chatter away, like always. Doesn't that prove how lonely I am, how desperate I am to share my thoughts. The points I was trying to make is that I am going to babysit Twinkle Shine's filly Berry Pinch. Isn't the name just punderful. Sweet Ears apparently thought the name was very funny, I guess even the most perfect warrior has an Achilles heal. And her is puns. I personally don't like puns at all, or do I. Puns can be weirdly annoying, that’s my opinion.
Sweet Ears also said it was good for me to get a hobby, but I don't know what the fuck that hobby is going to be. I suck at many things. I have to think of something really cool that’s not too hard, it's going to take a while to figure it out.
Right now I'm sober, it feel strange. I'm noticing new things about myself, like I swear a lot. It's quite annoying actually, I'm going to try to turn down my bad language. Today I'd set up a goal for myself, I'm going to find 3 new friends this month. Ponyville isn't that small town, and as that bitch Twilight said "Friendship is magic!” I’m not going to say that again, and that’s for sure. I just want somepony to talk to, a pony that isn’t my sister or a therapist.
Ever since that yucky Canterlot-slut Twilight moved in so many crazy things happened. Like that time when she got tickets to the Grand Galloping Gala and everypony went crazy trying to get a ticket. I wanted tickets to, I know it’s all fancy and shit but they got some quality booze for free! Maybe my new hobby is wine tasting? Or not, even if alcohol is my destiny, I’m sick of it. And it’s really expensive, it’s only posh ponies from Canterlot who do that stuff, I’m too trashy.
Another funny thing that happened was that Applejack were stoned. Or it looked like it, she looked really high. You should have seen her when she got that trophy. I don’t know what happened but the apple family didn’t do shit about it. I heard that Big MacIntosh were injured someday before that. If you ask me I think that Big Mac found some of that crazy bitch Applejacks crack and confronted her about it. They fought but Applejack used some crazy weapon or something (because we all know that Big MacIntosh is the strongest hunk in ponyville and nopony can kick his ass without using some laserbeemshit). So when Big Mac was out of picture Applejack was able to smoke whatever she wanted. And Granny Smith didn’t do shit about it ‘cause she’s too cool for them. I like Granny Smith, she is so much cooler then stupid Applejack or that dumb filly Apple Bloom. But that’s just my theory.
So Pinkie threw a party some days ago, so I decided to go. I've promised myself to be more social and therefor a party was a great start. The party was arranged for a griffin that had arrived that day. I saw her earlier when I went on a walk. She didn't seem that nice then, and she wasn't that nice on the party either. She started screaming at Fluttershy and was really mean. I don't like Fluttershy and I would gladly tell her what an awful pony she is, but there is reasons why I keep it for myself. The thing that griffin did was pretty low, and now ponies feel more sorry for Fluttershy then ever. But it was hilarious to watch the griffin at the party, I didn't think ponies (and griffins for that matter) could embarrass themselves that much. I thought that only happened in sitcoms, maybe being more social is fun after all. Maybe friendship is magic. Nah, screw it, I'm am not going to be a sissy wimp like Twilight.