Chapter 15
"There, that should do it, I think." Robert slowly stood up and stretched his arms upward. His fingers were painted black with grease, and five of them were curled around a large wrench. Several additional tools, including various types of screwdrivers and hammers, as well as a few blueprints and chunks of metal laid scattered on the hard concrete floor. A red rusty tool box sat in the middle of the mess, empty save for a box of nails.
"Here I was, thinking shop class was a complete waste of time," he chuckled as he wiped his hands with a rag. The stains transferred to the cloth. "And Mom wanted me to take home econ."
Robert took a step back to admire his handiwork. His invisible audience was less than impressed.
"What am I looking at?" Eva wondered aloud. She rubbed her eyes and squinted. "Is that, a robot?"
"I'll never understand abstract art," said Neil, shaking his head. "But if I had to guess, this must be a representation of modern society's reliance on machines which will inevitably bite humanity in the rear. So basically The Terminator franchise. Heck, it even looks a little bit like Arnold from the first film if you tilt your head."
As if in response, Robert had leaned his head to the side as he stared at his creation. He picked up one of the blueprints laying about and compared the chalked outline to the chaotic mash of metals. Blades stuck out from under a naked motor. Two rods extended out from the base that were then connected together by a single rod between them.
Robert reached down and took hold of a bright red handle. He yanked the handle up, revealing a long thick cable that extended from the motor, and released. Nothing happened. Robert tried again, and this time he was rewarded with a burst of smoke. His coughs mingled with the soft purrs of the tiny engine.
A sudden gust of wind dispelled the hazardous black cloud.
"Dad? You okay in there?" Dashie asked, her wings continuing to beat as she kept herself airborne.
"Yeah," the man said in between coughs. "Just peachy."
"What'cha doing down here anyways?" the pegasus asked, flying closer. Her eyes darted all over the messy garage. "It looks like a hurricane blasted through here."
"Well--"
"Whoa! What is that?" Rainbow Dash exclaimed, almost losing her balance.
"That's, ah, our lawnmower."
"That's a lawnmower?" Dashie, Eva, and Neil cried out in unison.
"What did he do? Weaponize it?" said Neil, his glasses slipping off of his edge of his nose. "I want one now."
"You don't even own a lawn."
"So? I don't have any chains, doesn't stop me from keeping a chainsaw."
"...what?"
"What did you do to it?" Rainbow asked. She crept behind the contraption and gave it a cautious prod. The motor began to cough, then died completely.
"Oh, you know." Robert chuckled nervously and scratched the back of his head. "A few modifications here and there. I was, well, thinking about our talk last night."
"Talk?"
"Yeah, about you and a job."
"Oh." Rainbow landed and folded her wings against her sides. She kicked at a discarded can.
"Yeah, that. S-sorry."
"I told you already, I get it Dad," Rainbow Dash groaned, rubbing her forehead. "You don't have to keep apologizing."
"R-right, sor--" Robert cleared his throat as the young mare raised an eyebrow at him. "Anyways, I was thinking, you know how I'll probably be awfully busy with work, right?"
Rainbow nodded.
"Well, that means I'm probably not going to have time to deal with lawn care and stuff. So I was thinking." The man grinned and placed his hands on his hips. "How would you like a job making sure the grass stays short? I'll pay you and everything."
"A job? For me?"
"I mean, it's not the most glamorous job in the world," Robert admitted, deflating a bit. "There's a lot of grass out there, but you'll earn some spending money at the very least, in case there's anything you want to buy. We can work out the details later, but I'll make sure you get a fair wage."
"Wow, that sounds, um..." Rainbow Dash glanced over at the lawnmower.
"Is something wrong? I-it's a work in progress," Robert quickly said, rushing to the machine's side and setting himself between it and Rainbow. "I know this doesn't look like much right now, but give me a few hours, and it'll be set and ready. Just have to add a few finishing touches, you don't have to worry about a thing."
"The lawnmower looks fine," Rainbow assured, waving her hoof dismissively. "Er, yeah, fine. It's just..." She sighed and turned away. The sound of her hoof awkwardly knocking against the floor echoed throughout the garage. "Well, that money's gonna come out of your pocket, right?"
Robert nodded hesitantly.
"Then how is that any different from you just giving me money? I'm still not bringing in anything to help pay the bills. If anything, I'm just making things harder for you, money-wise."
"Just because you're not bringing in paychecks does not mean you're not helping out," Robert said, kneeling next to the little pony. "I know you want to help and believe me, this helps. I can't afford to spend a lot of time making sure the grass is cut. There's just not enough time on the weekends for me to cover the entire yard, and professional gardener cost a lot these days, especially with properties this big. Way I see it, I can save a lot by paying you to mow the lawn instead."
"So, by having me--"
"Hiring." Robert grinned. "Let's be technical."
"--by hiring me, then," Rainbow Dash said with a roll of her eyes, "we'll actually save money?"
"Yep. Sound good to you? Do we have a deal?"
Rainbow stared at the outstretched hand, then turned to the mutilated lawnmower.
"Can I wait until I see the final product?" she asked. "I don't want to end up cutting my own hooves off."
*
Robert knelt down and hovered his hand above the lawn. He smiled and nodded. "Yep, looks good. Consistent work throughout, that's good too," he said as he turned his head slowly to examine the entire area. "Not bad for a first week."
"Not bad?" Rainbow snorted. "Psh, really? I did a great job, and you know it."
"Yeah, but it took you, what, all day?"
"Hmph, I blame the equipment," Rainbow Dash contended, her feathers bristling in annoyance. "Give me some time to get used to it, and I'll mow down every inch of green in ten seconds flat."
Robert picked himself up and brushed off loose pieces of grass from his jeans. He reached into his pocket and held three small sheets of green paper out toward the young mare. "Here you are," he said, "your first paycheck!"
"That doesn't look like a check."
Robert rolled his eyes. "Fine, your first payment, in the form of bills."
"Hmm, I was kinda expecting a suitcase."
"It's forty-five bucks! How am I supposed to fill an entire suitcase?"
"You could've used forty-five one dollar bills," Rainbow Dash said. "Can I at least get one of those money clip thingies those bankers on TV use. I'd settle for a rubber band."
"Dashie..."
"Kidding, Pop, I'm just messing with you." The pegasus leapt into the air and gently tapped Robert's shoulder before swinging her forelegs over and around his neck. "Thanks Dad," she whisper, nuzzling Robert's cheek before leaping into the air with her payment.
"Hey, you're the one who earned it," Robert said with a laugh. "So, is there anything you want to buy, or are you going to start saving?"
"Actually, I was thinking about decorating my room a bit. It's kinda bland as it is now. The walls could seriously use a few posters."
"I'll keep my eye out," Robert said. "Anything in particular?"
"Aw, you know me. Just keep it awesome."
*
"Hey Dad?"
With a mouth full of cereal, Robert managed to say a quick, "Hmm?" He turned away from the newspaper he held in his free hand and looked toward the pony who had called him instead.
Rainbow Dash sat on the other side of the dinning table. In front of her was a half eaten piece of toast covered in jam and the comics section of the newspaper. Her large eyes were focused not on the blurry panels, Eva realized as she followed the pony's gaze, but on a bright blue advertisement pushed to the side. On the ad was a picture of a large satellite dish held in the hands of a silver cartoonish android.
"What's cable?"
"Cable? You mean like rope?"
"I don't think so," Rainbow said, shaking her head. She placed the paper into Robert's hands and leaned over the table to point at the advertisement. "This cable. Something to do with TV, I think."
Robert rubbed his chin and tapped his spoon against the edge of his bowl. "Cable is..." he began before stopping himself. He closed his eyes and rubbed his chin more furiously. "Well, you know how television works through a bunch of cables, right?"
"Really?" said Rainbow Dash. "I thought it had something to do with radio waves or something, like in that one movie with the weird chocolate factory."
Robert's forehead began to furrow. "Er, yeah, that's part of it," he said. "But it catches those radio waves through cables, or something like that."
"Or something like that indeed," Neil commented with a sigh.
"What, do you know how television works?" Eva challenged.
"Magic and science and magical science, duh."
"Anyways," Robert continued, unaware of Neil's interruption, "depending on the kind of cables connected to your TV, you can get different channels. Some cable companies provide for more channels than others because they install more cables."
"Or something like that?" Rainbow asked.
"Or something like that," admitted Robert with a shrug. "Or maybe they use different types of wires, I don't know. Satellites are involved somewhere, which is why you also need to install a satellite receiver in you house."
"That sounds awfully complicated," Rainbow Dash said, resting her cheek against the tabletop. "So basically, cables mean channels, and if you pay companies to set up more cables in your TV, you'll get more channels?"
"Yeah, that's pretty much it."
"Do we have cable, Dad?" Rainbow asked. She continued to stare at the bright blue ad.
"No," Robert said, scratching his chin. "I don't think so."
"Why?"
"Because..." The man blinked twice before placing his spoon down again. "Um, because you never asked?"
"Then can we get cable?"
*
"No offense, Dad, but here's hoping this is our last DIY job."
"What? Why?" Robert cried out, almost dropping the screwdriver he held. "It's fun, isn't it?"
"Sure, it was cool seeing sparks the first time," Rainbow said with a roll of her eyes, "but it gets old pretty quickly when they fly every time you touch something. And all I do is hand you tools and bandages and watch you work. Sorry Dad, but I can't exactly say I'm having the time of my life right now."
"Aw, and I was hoping to renovate the kitchen too. Ow, hey!"
"Wasn't me, Pop. Might wanna pay attention to what's in front of you." Rainbow shook her head and sighed as Robert beat away the flames that threatened to spread and consume. "Anyways, I'm all for saving a few bucks and everything--"
"Electrical tape, please."
Rainbow placed the red rubbery roll in Robert's hand. "--but maybe calling an expert for this sort of thing might be a good idea. I could always just stay outside and out of sight if we do hire an electrician, you know. I mean, you've paid for a plumber before."
"That's different," Robert argued, grabbing for a pair of scissors. "I don't want to mess with our pipes. We need running water."
"And we don't need electricity?" Rainbow joked, her face was expressionless, save for the tips of her mouth, which threatened to rise.
"Electricity is overrated. Why, when I was your age, all we had was a water wheel to grind our grain and power our toasters, none of all this fancy newfangled doohickeys."
"Right, sure." Rainbow rolled her eyes again. "Are you sure you know what you're doing?"
"Of course I do. Dashie, you really need to trust--"
Robert fell backwards. A tangled mess of wires remained clutched in his fist, their metallic innards on full display. The other halves limply stuck out of the wall like beheaded serpents.
"Wow," Neil whistled. "You sure this guy's name isn't Murphy?"
Robert got back to his feet and looked over the damage. His face betrayed no emotions, save for his lips which were trembling violently.
"Dad?"
"Hmm?"
"Should I fetch your cellphone?"
"Umm hmm."
"And the yellow pages book?"
"Mhmm hmm."
*
Taps and clicks filled the cubicle and Eva and Neil's ears. Robert sat at the paper-covered desk, his eyes glued to a large computer screen. As the two approached, Robert turned around suddenly, his back toward the computer, his body acting as a shield between them and whatever Robert had been working on.
"Oh, it's just you," he said, releasing a breath of relief. "Like your tie, by the way."
Another man had appeared behind the two Sigmund Corp. employees, his face obscured. Like Robert, he wore a simple dress shirt with a tie loosely draped around his neck. Unlike Robert, however, the newcomer's tie was embroidered with yellow duck patterns.
The man crossed his arms. "Ooh, using company equipment for private personal purposes? Tsk, tsk," he said, wagging an index finger. "Play solitaire on your own time, not during business hours. Should I grab your supervisor real quick?"
"Speaking of which, how's that report coming along?" Robert crossed his arms "You must be finished by now if you've got time to pester, sorry, check up on me."
"Hey, can't a guy take a bathroom break once a while?" the man whined. "What're you working on anyways? Did the higher ups already give you a new assignment?" Ignoring Robert's protests, he brushed past and gave the computer mouse a nudge, brushing away the monitor's screensaver.
In the corner of the screen was bright large symbol, like a coat of arms; it consisted of an upside down triangle with a set of golden wings springing out of the top and a red circle in the center. The words INDIANAPOLIS 500 were stamped in the middle in bright yellow letters. Directly below the symbol was a picture of a silver trophy that had the image of person bent over, waving a black and white checkered flag.
"Didn't know you were into this sort of thing," Robert's coworker said. "Personally, I always took you as a horse track sort of guy."
"Funny."
"Hm?"
"Oh, uh, inside joke."
"With yourself?" The man gave Robert a tired shrug before taking a seat on the desk. "Buying tickets?"
Robert sighed and sunk himself into a chair. "Trying to. It's an incredible pain getting tickets and really expensive."
"Did you look anywhere besides the official website? You know, for alternatives?"
"What, like scalpers?" Robert asked with an incredulous look. "Isn't that, like, insanely sketchy?"
"I'm not talking about scalpers," the man said, waving his hand as he shook his head. "I meant travel agencies and stuff, that sort of deal. A lot of them have started brokering tickets to events and amusement parks. Took my entire family to Disneyland last summer." He grimaced before continuing: "Happiest place on Earth my foot. Anyways, I can introduce you to my agent, she's a good family friend of mine."
"You'd do that?"
"Of course. But this settles that debt I owe you, 'kay? We're even after this."
Robert leaned forward with his hand outstretched. "Deal."
*
"Please leave a message after the tone."
Robert smiled as he waited for the sharp beep to subside. Leaning against a wall, he brought the cellphone receiver to his lips and whispered quietly, "Hey Dashie, it's Dad. Good job keeping quiet. Just calling to let you know I'm almost done with grocery shopping. I hope you didn't have too big of a lunch today, because I thought we'd try making pasta again tonight. So if you could make sure the pot's clean, that'd be great."
Robert became silent and quickly covered his phone as a grumbling old man shuffled by. At the sight of the cellphone, the senior rolled his eyes and continued his muttering. Robert waited until he could no longer hear the elder's vehement ranting before lifting the phone back up and speaking.
"Anyways, I'll be back in about an hour. Try not to miss me too much. Love you."
With a few short clicks, the call ended, and Robert pocketed the phone. "Hmm, maybe I should get her her own cellphone," he thought aloud. "Though we'd have to modify it for hoof use. Heh, I should have been an engineer." He shrugged and returned to the full shopping trolley Eva and Neil had been standing by. "Maybe next year for her birthday," Robert muttered to himself as he pushed the cart into the cereal aisle. "It'll give me time to figure out a convincing explanation."
Two boxes of cereal joined the pile of groceries, one a collection of honey oats and cornflakes, the other filled with a rainbow of marshmallows and little of anything else. From there, Robert made his way to the end of a large line filled with semi-visible shoppers, all waiting for a free cashier. The line moved along steadily and swiftly, aided by Neil with a couple of taps on his wrist device.
The groceries were paid and bagged. The storefront quickly faded away, as did the parking lot, and Neil and Eva suddenly found themselves in a cruising car, with Robert driving. Like before, buildings and traffic blurred into nothing until gray blurs became green blurs, and a familiar driveway appeared before them.
The car was parked. Robert opened the door, stepped out, and simply stood there with his hands on his hips.
"Odd," he said. "She knows I went food shopping. Oh well." Robert walked over to the other side of the car and opened the passenger seat. He removed two stuffed brown bags and cradled them in his arms as he tried to close the door. "There's not much anyways, nothing I can't handle."
With a little more difficult, he opened the door to the large house. His house, his and Dashie's.
"Home sweet home," he chucked as he struggled to shut the door without slamming it. He placed the groceries on the floor briefly in order to remove his jacket and place it in the closet nearby. The ring of keys went on the small key rack that hung above a picture frame. Robert gave the photo a quick glance and smiled. He and Rainbow were there, wearing party hats and holding noisemakers. They stood right next to an old fashion clock hanging from the wall and kept pointing at it. Twelve o' clock, it read, midnight. Robert placed the picture back down.
"Dashie, I'm home," he called as he entered the kitchen. A large metal pot sat on the counter, already filled with water ready to be boiled. As Robert began to sort out the groceries, he heard noise from the other room. Robert picked up the box of marshmallow disguised as breakfast. He rolled his eyes at the picture of the cartoonish mascot.
"I got the cereal you wanted," he said as he walked toward the living room. "Is there anything good on TV or--"
"A Sonic Rainboom! She did it! SHE DID IT!"
The colorful box slipped from Robert's grasp and fell with a soft but echoing thud.