Three little fillies sat in their treehouse, around a table, eyeing their latest idea for getting a cutie mark. All of them seemed hesitant, unsure of what lay on the table before them, with six folded back ears, six wide eyes, and three mouths hanging slightly open in fear.
“What are you girls up to?”
The voice at the door startled them, causing Sweetie Belle to squeak loudly. Scootaloo’s wings buzzed in alarm, and Applebloom writhed in place on the floor.
“Oh hi Sandow…” said Sweetie Belle, looking sheepish, “we were, uh, well, thinking about getting our cutie marks as usual.”
“I see.” Sandow replied, ducking his head and stepping inside. He sat down at the table with the fillies. He stared at the pile of strange fruits on the table. Were they fruits? Sandow wasn’t sure. Vegetables maybe.
“What are those?” Sandow questioned.
“Well, Sandow, what you see…” Scootaloo started to say.
“Those are some new pepper pods.” Applebloom interrupted. “Cousin Braeburn had them sent up to us by pegasus mail. The buffalo grow them. These are a new type of pepper, called a Celestia Solar Flare Pepper. The buffalo made a new strain of pepper in honour of Celestia as a gift. To be all peaceful like.”
Sandow nodded.
“They’re grown with dragon dung!” Scootaloo said, her voice full of a sort of manic awe. “These are almost as awesome as Rainbow Dash.”
“So a cutie mark for eating some plant pods?” Sandow said, looking confused.
“Yeah…” Sweetie Belle said, with a slightly evil sounding giggle. “Just some pods.”
“Sweetie no, those are oomph!” Scootaloo was cut off by Sweetie Belle’s hoof jabbing into her stomach.
Applebloom’s eyes narrowed sassily.
“They’re just some kinda pod thing.” Sandow said. “What’s the big deal, you fillies are holding something back from me.”
“No we ain’t Sandow.” Applebloom said as innocently as possible.
“I’m being hornswoggled.” Sandow said, looking at the three fillies, all of whom were looking at him, trying to look as cute and adorable as possible.
“My horn isn’t doing anything.” Sweetie Belle protested.
“You were all rather nervous looking when I came in.” Sandow said suspiciously. “Applebloom, as an Apple, are you fibbing to me?”
“No.” Said Applebloom, telling what she hoped was only a tiny fiblet, suddenly feeling horribly guilty, which was almost a physical sensation, given the fact that she was an Apple.
“Uhuh.” Sandow said. “Well girls, let’s all dig in, shall we? Applebloom, you first.”
“Uh, well, how about we all do this together?” Applebloom said, her voice almost a squeal. She looked almost panicked now, her nostrils flaring.
All four of them reached in and took a pepper in hoof, holding it up, getting ready to eat it.
“Cutie Mark Crusaders spontaneous combustion go!” Scootaloo shouted just before eating the bright orange pepper, right as the others were about to eat theirs .
There was a collective moment of silence, punctuated by a few crunching and chomping sounds. Faint sounds. There was a louder crunch as Sweetie Belle bit into a seed and crunched it between her broad flat teeth. Sweetie Belle began to sweat instantly, her horn turning an odd shade of pink. Applebloom’s bow ignited and began to smoulder. Scootaloo’s eyes instantly became bloodshot and her eye twitched alarmingly. Steam, actual steam, began to trickle from Sandow’s ears.
There was a riotous scramble as the four ponies struggled to flee the clubhouse, seeking something to drink. Scootaloo shot out of a window, Sweetie Belle shoving her out, desperate to get out herself. Sandow shot out of the door, Applebloom clinging to his back. He hit the ground running, tail streaming out behind him, his breathing coming in fierce snorts, steam puffing from his ears, he ran through the grass like a runaway locomotive. Sandow kicked up his heels several times, trying to buck the fire away. Applebloom continued to cling to his neck for dear life, fearful the bucking pony would send her flying. Applebloom suffered horribly, knowing that she had told a fib and the horrible heat from the pepper both burning her brain and her insides. Tears streamed from her face, her ribbon continued to smoulder, Her insides being bounced around by Sandow’s bucking. After one particularly powerful buck, Applebloom accidentally crunched down on a seed loosened from between her cheek and gums. Suddenly, she was in an entirely new universe, one filled with the flames of Tartarus. Liars go to Tartarus she thought to herself as the flames consumed her.
Scootaloo ran in circles, blinded by tears, unable to see. She mewled and whimpered, her orange tongue dangling out, her ears twitching wildly, her eyes blinking rapidly. The fire only seemed to increase in intensity. She began to drag her tongue through the grass, hoping the fire would go out. Her nose flooded with snot, making it difficult to breathe. Her wings actually felt like they were on fire. She flapped them in a futile effort to make the pain go away. Her belly was a seething volcano, her guts churned and twisted, a raging inferno of pain and torment.
Sweetie Belle fared no better, having bit into a seed, she gave up on running and sat down and cried instead, sobbing, wiping her tongue with her hoof, trying to make the burning stop. Something popped and shot from her horn, her magic literally boiling over, sending out a shower of green sparks. There was another pop, and an even larger shower of sparks. The third pop was deafening and Sweetie Belle heard ringing in her ears. Her horn was on fire, her mane smouldering. She crossed her tear filled eyes and looked upward, and actually saw flames flickering from her horntip in her blurry vision, her horn now looking very much like a candle. She rammed herself headfirst into the ground, stabbing her horn into the dirt. There was a sizzling hiss and the air was filled with the scent of burning hair, which Sweetie Belle could not smell, considering how much snot was pouring from her nose in long gooey strands, clinging and sticking to the grass.
Several hours later, the four of them were sitting in a long water trough, Applebloom entirely incapable of meeting Sandow’s baleful gaze. Sweetie Belle leaned over and a stream of bubbles roiled up from the water. Several fat tears rolled down her cheeks, her eyes clenched shut in pain.
“It burns down there.” Sweetie Belle cried, trying not to sob.
“And no cutie marks.” Scootaloo said dejectedly. A stream of bubbles rose up from between her legs. “Noooo!” She wailed, blinking away tears. “I can’t take it no more!” Scootaloo cried. “Burns worse coming out than it did going in!” She sobbed.
Sandow bared his teeth and bravely farted, angling the frothing stream of bubbles at Applebloom, who hung her head and looked rather guilty. Sandow whimpered despite his best efforts, his ears laying flat against his skull, a single tear coming to one green eye.
Sweetie Belle quailed when she saw a figure approaching. “We missed our dance lessons!”
“I learned some new dance moves.” Scootaloo said, releasing another stream of bubbles in the water and whimpering, more tears coming.
“Applejack told me what happened.” Flickershine said, looking at the four suffering ponies in the water trough. She fanned the air with her hoof. “You all stink.” She commented. “Burns the eyes!” She blinked several times.
“I can’t smell nothing.” Scootaloo whimpered.
Sweetie Belle wiped more snot away from her nose. “The burning never stops. At either end.” She sniffled.
“I’m a bad pony. I deserve this.” Said Applebloom, still hanging her head.
Sandow nodded. He lifted one wet foreleg, reached out over to Applebloom, and pulled her close for a hug. “Yer a lousy pony.” He drawled.
Sweetie Belle shrieked as a fresh batch of bubbles rose up in the water.
Flickershine crinkled her nose, her expression one of horror and shock at seeing the bubbles. “I hope all four of you learned something." Flickershine said.
“I sure did.” Sandow said. “Apples ain’t always honest.”
Scootaloo’s eyes clenched shut and she began to shake her head no. A stream of bubbles boiled forth from between her legs. “My filly bits are burning.” She hissed.
Flickershine backed away. “I’m going to leave the four of you to think about your foolishness. Applejack has invited me for supper. You all have fun now and no more missing your lessons.” Flickershine turned and took off at a gallop, her eyes watering and her nose burning.
“This is the last time I listen to Scootaloo’s ideas.” Sweetie Belle mumbled, shooting a glance at Scootaloo.
“I want to sit in a bucket of ice cream.” Applebloom said, tears rolling down her cheeks.
“I think we all do.” Sandow agreed.