Chapter III: Modest
“We’ve been very patient. But now, we need to know.” Night Light’s stern eyes were betrayed by the eager grin creeping its way toward his ears. Twilight Velvet was nearly bouncing off of her gold-upholstered rocking chair, half-eaten breakfast pastries forgotten in front of her.
“Now that you’re both here together, you can tell us the stor-EEEEEEE!” the graying mare squealed in schoolfilly fashion, clapping her hooves together and leaning forward. She trained her sparkling eyes on the couple sharing the orange couch across the coffee table. “How did he ask you? Was it romantic?” She feigned a swoon over the arm of her chair, holding her forelimb across her forehead, before opening one eye to gauge their response.
Twilight Sparkle leaned against her paragon of romance, wrapping a wing around him. “It was very romantic. First, we discussed him cuddling with another stallion, then he blew seafood out of his nose and bought dinner for another mare who suggested that I couldn’t get a date with anything but a book. Then, he mutilated a perfectly good book and embarrassed me in front of the entire town.” She leaned over and gave him a peck on the cheek. “It was perfect.”
Flash Sentry wasn’t certain whether he should try to explain that, while Twilight’s summary was technically correct, it really wasn’t as bad as his fiancée made it sound. While he was debating, Velvet rolled back over and made a face like she was eating a lemon, then shot a sharp glance at her husband and remarked, “Don’t worry, Flashy, yours was about twenty times more romantic than his proposal was.”
Flash perked up at that, and announced, “Now there’s a story I need to hear. I’m all ears!” His head bounced back and forth between them as he looked towards the two married unicorns, mouth open in an unabashedly eager smile, waiting for somepony to speak up.
Clearing his throat, Night Light finally admitted, “Okay. My proposal could have gone better.”
Velvet raised one eyebrow and growled, “No, Shiny’s wedding could have gone better. Your proposal was… halfhearted.”
“Oh no, dear,” Night pleaded, “my whole heart was in it!”
“And a good quantity of snot, too,” Velvet pointed out. Turning to back to her daughter, she said, “He was sick as a dog, just this horrible cold that I was trying not to catch. Nighty invited me up to his dorm room during visiting hours; I thought we were going to play a board game with his friends, but there was nopony waiting for us in the room.
“So there he was, sitting at his desk while I was standing there like I was lost. He was just kind of, well, wheezing. And sniffling. Then suddenly, it was like he remembered why he brought me up there. So he said, ‘Knock knock.’”
Flash froze in the middle of licking his lips. His eyes grew wider, tongue still locked in place, before he blinked twice and regained control of his mouth. “No. He didn’t.”
Twilight and Night Light didn’t realize it, but Flash noticed that both of them were performing identical facehoof maneuvers, though for different reasons. Velvet’s evil grin absorbed these gestures, becoming more powerful than ever. “Oh yes, he certainly did. As far as I knew, it was just another day. My Nighty has always loved his knock-knock jokes, but he usually prefers to start them when I’m distracted, or busy doing something else. Do you know his favorite one?”
Flash sat up and leaned forward, ignoring the fact that Twilight was slouching deeper into the couch. Flash eagerly piped up, “No, but I can’t wait to find out!”
Velvet grinned and tossed a quick glance at Night before turning back to the pun-hungry pegasus and his unamused alicorn. Night Light grinned in anticipation as Twilight Velvet sat up straight, placed one dainty hoof on her chest and haughtily announced, “I have the world’s funniest knock-knock joke.” She opened her eyes and pointed at Flash. “You start it.”
Flash eagerly began, “Knock knock,” and waited for Velvet’s traditional response.
“Who’s there?” Velvet queried smugly.
“Uh… I… I don’t know,” Flash stammered.
Velvet chuckled. “That’s the joke. I bet you think you’ll never fall for that again, don’t you?”
Attempting to determine whether this was a trick question, Flash haltingly said, “I don’t see how I could. I mean, I already know the trick to it. Why would I even start the joke next time?”
With an explosion of cackling, Night Light burst into the conversation. “That’s the beauty of it! Just wait until you’re distracted with paperwork, chores, or” —he winked at his future son-in-law— “an adorable foal.”
Night waited for Flash to blush before continuing. “That’s when Twilight will pounce, and you’ll find yourself standing in the middle of a joke, wondering how you got there.” The elder stallion leaned back in his chair and folded his forelimbs across his chest as if he’d just won some sort of grand debate.
Twilight slowly emerged from her extended facehoof and looked at her father from underneath low eyelids. “No, dad, I won’t. I really won’t.” Turning back to her mother, Twilight tried to forestall any more knock-knock jokes than the one she knew to be part of the story. “Why don’t you finish giving Flash the embarrassing details of dad’s proposal, so we can tell you all the embarrassing details of ours?”
Velvet nodded. “Where were we… That’s right. Dorm room. Snot. ‘Knock-knock.’ So of course I said, ‘Who’s there?’ I was expecting some sort of a twist, but I wasn’t expecting him to say, ‘My wife?’ and hold up a ring.” She regarded her husband through narrow eyes. “He didn’t even get down on one knee.”
“Well, I’m sorry, I’m not much of a planner,” Night protested. “If you wanted a stallion who could devise a complicated seafood-snorting plan, then you wouldn’t have said ‘yes’ to me.”
Velvet harumphed and said, “I didn’t realize that getting down on one knee required much of a plan.” The elder Twilight turned to the younger Twilight. “He promised me that he would do a proper proposal after we got married.”
Flash’s initial eagerness to hear the story had worn off when the married couple began arguing, and as he shifted uncomfortably in his seat, he asked, “Soooooo… I’m guessing he still hasn’t?”
Night Light leaned over in his crimson recliner and reached toward his wife, who scooted to the far side of her chair and avoided his hoof. Night raised his eyebrows suggestively, cooing, “I’ve got to let her have something to look forward to, don’t I?”
Rolling her eyes and giving a resigned sigh, Velvet grabbed her husband’s hoof and pulled the two of them together violently, causing the lighter rocking chair to tip over sideways. As the two chairs collided, the petite unicorn glomped onto her husband, her momentum tipping the recliner over and dumping them into a pile of giggles and smooches on the floor.
Twilight Sparkle gave a snorting laugh, then covered her muzzle with her hooves as she giggled at seeing her parents destroy their own living room. Flash eyed the two chairs lying on their side, the end table tangled up with a lamp, and the two unicorns sheepishly looking up from the floor. Just a moment ago, Flash could have sworn they were having a serious argument, yet here they were, tangled up and nuzzling each other in ways that was frankly starting to make him uncomfortable in a whole different way than he was twenty seconds ago.
Flash leaned over and whispered to Twilight, “Is this, um, do they do that a lot?”
From underneath a blushing Velvet, who was keeping her eyes turned away from the others while she tried to calm her breathing, Night Light spoke up. “Love each other? Hrm, yes, we do this quite a bit.” He was interrupted by a light swat from Velvet, who murmured something in his ear, causing him to blush before he cleared his throat and continued.
“Flash, what’s important in life is often how we react to things. Life will hurt you, those you love will hurt you. You can respond by becoming bitter and returning pain for pain, or you can respond with love.”
Velvet nodded in agreement, her face still buried in the deep blue Night, hugging him tightly.
Twilight’s giggles slowed to a trickle, and then a series of shuddering sighs before she ended with a soft hum for a few seconds. Flash sat next to her, waiting for Night and Velvet to get up, or Twilight to talk, or a peculiar pink party pony to pop up, or some sort of magical apocalypse to begin. He kept waiting, and none of those things happened. So he finally, reluctantly, spoke up.
“Love, huh?”
Lifting herself off of Night’s body, Velvet stepped aside and, smiling, brushed her bangs away from her eyes. Still looking down, she quietly said, “Yeah, love.” Standing aside to leave room for Night Light to get up and levitate the furniture back in place, she elaborated.
“Love is what keeps you together when you get an internship three days train ride away from the pony you love. Love is what keeps you sane when all you’ve got is a sick foal and one part time job. Love is what brings you back together after you hate each others’ guts.”
Night Light stepped next to his wife and wrapped her in a warm hug, finally opening his moist eyes and looking right at Twilight with a soft smile. “Love is all you’ve got when a princess takes away the little filly who means the whole world to you.”
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Her eyes were closed, and it was far too windy to hear anything. Not that he had anything to say to her right now. Flash just enjoyed watching the way she enjoyed flying. She wasn’t born with wings, but she was born to fly.
Most of the times he visited Twilight, Flash tried to show up before dawn. There was a bit of a conspiratorial feel to meeting a pony in the chill early when the first hints of purple appear in the east. She would look to the sky and grin, and then always, always, give him a sidelong glance without turning her head from the stars above, just before rocketing into the sky.
Twilight had only had wings for a few short years, but she was already a better flier than he was. Well, nopony could expect him to compete with an ascended alicorn. Or maybe it was just her personality; anything she decided she wanted to do well, she would practice until she excelled at it. Rainbow Dash had been pestering her to take flying lessons, but Flash liked to think that she wasn’t really motivated to learn until she started flying with him.
Not many ponies ever saw Twilight Sparkle like this. As far as he knew, only he and Princess Luna had ever seen her cutting a path through the crackling air with her horn, bangs inverted by the wind. She had such a cute forehead... Hay, everything about her was cute. But he was the only one who got to appreciate her forehead. Flash chuckled at himself; he really was lovestruck if he was pining after her forehead.
Flash extended the feathers on the trailing edge of his wings, lowering them and spreading them apart enough to gain just a bit of drag. It was enough to slow him down and put him behind Twilight without dropping below her. From their position this high above the world, they could see both the setting sun and the rising moon along the edges of Earth. And there was Twilight, warm glow of orange illuminating her left side while her right side was cast in a cold blue. The Crepuscular Princess, between the sun and moon, and above them both.
She liked to end their days that way; she said that the higher you go, the longer you can see the sun, and the longer the day lasts. She had drawn a diagram on the chalkboard, complete with a mathematical function involving sines and whatnot. Twilight could be romantic when she wanted to, but it did usually involve a chalkboard and equations.
They hadn’t had many days together, but when they did, they tried to make those hours count. Twilight always planned the most interesting days. Interesting to her, anyway. Starswirl the Bearded seemed like a cool enough stallion, but Flash never could understand magic. Something about not having the brain structure to perceive the underlying vibrations of the universe.
But Princess Cadance and Shining had prepared him for those types of events. Apparently the secret is in knowing how to distract Twilight Sparkle, and that was easier than he had thought. He learned enough about magic and math and metaphysics from her letters, but when they had time to spend together, he wanted to learn about Twilight. And sometimes, that meant hoofing over a bag full of bits to a museum curator so he could have an early lunch or schedule an unnecessary repair.
But none of that had been necessary today. After their morning flight, he had gone back to his apartment for a cold shower before meeting her at her parents’ house for breakfast. Night and Velvet had told their engagement story, given some advice, engaged in a disturbing amount of public affection, and then listened to Flash tell the story of his own engagement.
All three of them had been surprised at the amount of planning he had put into the proposal. Not that the planning had been done well, but it wasn’t as if Flash could have gotten help from the most talented organizer in all of Equestria. It was mostly talking to Horte Cuisine about his restaurant, talking to Twilight’s friends about when and where and how and pretty much everything else. There was a lot of talking involved. In fact, he didn’t write anything down at all. No lists.
Both Twilights had been aghast at the thought of planning such an important event without writing anything down. Which had led to the gender rift. Flash had half expected there to be a couch cushion fort with a sign scrawled in crayon warning his gender away, but instead the mares had gone out to go shopping for cake or dresses or, more likely, some sort of list-making device for planning the wedding.
But when the stallions started talking, Flash had suddenly wished he was visiting dress shops and making lists adorned with hearts and flowers. Most of that discussion consisted of things he already knew about a mare’s anatomy from checking out a very educational book from a library far, far from Ponyville. Still, it had been the single most uncomfortable discussion of his life, and it had also felt like the longest. Unfortunately, tomorrow’s interview with Princess Celestia promised to both be more uncomfortable and to feel even longer. At least he hoped that his boss’s boss, Twilight’s mentor, and the goddess ruler of the entire world didn’t want to share with him any information about Twilight’s feminine equipment.
Twilight was dancing through the air, swimming her head left and right to some melody only she could hear. She slowed down enough to pass between Flash and the sun, eclipsing the last vestiges of sunlight coming up from below. While the moon illumined her back and the upper surfaces of her wings, the sun gave her periphery a warm fringe. She was positively glowing.
Wearing a silly grin usually reserved for only the drunkest of stallions, Flash pumped his wings harder a few times, rising higher into the air. As he snapped his wings to his side and entered an upward parabolic trajectory, he wondered if Twilight Sparkle had in fact gained immortality. If that was the case, would his entire life pass by so quickly that in the ocean of her eonic memories, she would hardly notice the single drop of his existence?
As he reached the top of his arc, Flash decided that even if Twilight would live for a million years, at least he could make her happy while he was around. If he was just one of thousands of husbands who would each contribute a tiny moment of bliss to her eternal happiness, then he would make his tiny moment the brightest that it could be.
No corrections were necessary, as Flash was on a perfect intercept course with his fiancée. He extended his legs like a grappling hook and collided with the peacefully gliding alicorn, wrapping all four limbs around her. He held on tight as he put just enough pressure on her wings to keep her from maintaining aerodynamic control. Flash was a true gentlecolt, and determined not to use any of his newfound anatomical knowledge, but he had already known about that spot just below her ear. As Twilight closed her eyes and abandoned control of her wings, Flash Sentry knew that the two of them could afford to tumble out of control for just a few moments.
Soon enough they would be back in control, riding the air currents back toward civilization. But for a very short moment, they were wild.
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Although it was decidedly more posh, and the chairs were more comfortable, this parlor in the palace still had the feel of a doctor’s waiting room. There were more shapes of pillows than Flash had even thought possible. Although he was in the Canterlot Guard, his duties rarely took him into the palace, and he’d never had occasion to visit one of these overly-tasseled rooms. Twilight had already found what Flash guessed was her favorite spot in this room, and was already curled up with a book that she had probably read a few times already.
Of course she wouldn’t be nervous. She was just going to have a friendly chat with the pony who raised her almost as much as her parents did. Outside of Princess Luna, Twilight might be the one to know Princess Celestia better than anypony else. Sure, Flash used to be in Princess Cadance’s personal guard, but the Crystal Empire was much smaller, and certainly less formal.
Flash tried to relax, but finding that impossible, he tried to appear relaxed while Twilight tried to appear as if she wasn’t watching him and taking great delight in his discomfort. “You know,” she began, “you could try hovering. That usually works for Rainbow Dash when she has to wait for something.”
The perspiring stallion spit out the fluffy red cushion he had been unsuccessfully rearranging on the piece of furniture that looked like it would belong in a psychiatrist’s office. With a few gentle flaps of his wings, he began a slow orbit of the room, studying the various paintings and tapestries without taking in any of the details. Tomorrow, he wouldn’t have a clue what this room had looked like.
Momentarily engrossed in the details of the armor on some ancient unicorn warrior, Flash had failed to notice the door open. A guard he didn’t recognize announced that Princess Celestia would be in shortly. Twilight jumped up and moved toward some sort of fancy couch, motioning for him to join her. As he fluttered down to meet her, she gave him a smile that was so confident it made him nervous about how nervous he was. He sat just off her right flank, while she rubbed his back reassuringly with one wing.
Reassuring for whom, Flash was beginning to wonder. Twilight was starting to get that faraway look in her eyes as she continued to caress his back and tickle his right wing with her own feathers. He cleared his throat and shrugged her wing off of his back, raising his eyebrows pleadingly. Her blush indicated that she understood why that wasn’t calming him down, and she folded her wings neatly by her own sides.
Two betrothed ponies sat upon a sea of blood red velvet, anxiously awaiting for their fate or fates to be decided by the goddess of fire and light. Flash chided himself for thinking in such dramatic terms, it certainly wasn’t helping him calm down. She was just a princess, and he used to be very close to another princess; a princess of love, in fact, who thought the marriage worthy enough for attention.
Yes, this was going to go well. Twilight had mentioned him in her letters to the Princess, he was certain of that. The idea that Twilight Sparkle might possibly leave a detail out of one of her letters was, well, absurd. In fact, most of what he knew of Princess Celestia came not from history books or personal interaction, but from Twilight’s letters. Princess Cadance had mentioned him to Princess Celestia, at least as a reference when Shining had him transferred. Princess Celestia absolutely knew about their relationship. In fact, she had probably been keeping tabs on him ever since he moved to Canterlot.
His eyes bulged and his breath fled as he tried to recall every questionable activity he had participated in since his arrival in the capital of Equestria. Flash was a pretty straight-laced kind of stallion, but nopony was perfect. While his ears were still ringing in panic, he saw a pair of long, elegant white legs enter his tunnel vision. Blinking rapidly to regain his focus, he took in the spectacular vision of the Princess of the Sun. This did nothing to calm his heart rate.
Her calm smile, however, worked wonders. She was like some sort of cosmic mother, here to make everything all right. She didn’t even point out that Flash had completely forgotten decorum and neglected to bow, a fact that he realized while the two princesses shared words he didn’t catch. Princess Celestia greeted Twilight with a lingering hug before pulling back and giving her a look that Flash found hard to categorize. Before he could think on it too much, it dissolved into a friendly smile as she turned to him.
“Flash Sentry, I believe we have met before. It’s wonderful to see you and Twilight sharing such a beautiful thing as love.” Princess Celestia smiled broadly, her mane hypnotically reinforcing the message of good will she delivered. “If you don’t mind, Flash, could you please step outside for a moment?”
“Y-yes, your highness!” Flash gave a quick bow before walking briskly to the door, which Princess Celestia closed quietly with her magic.
Standing awkwardly in the empty hallway, Flash shifted his weight from one side to the other. After a few moments, he looked both ways down the curving hallway, listened for hoofsteps, and then quietly approached the door. Gently pressing one ear against the polished wooden surface, he listened to the low murmur of royal voices, unsure of who was speaking.
“…care for you a great deal…”
“…princess now, and that puts you in a whole…”
“…political than romantic…”
“…a serious violation, just a modest…”
“…be okay? I suppose if you’re sure…”
Flash felt the tingle of magic beginning to reach for the door, and he leapt backwards, catching himself with his wings to avoid making too much noise. He quickly but gently lowered himself to the floor, pretending to have been interrupted in his inspection of a completely nondescript column of polished stone.
Upon glancing into the room, Flash noticed that Twilight was no longer sitting on the couch. Princess Celestia motioned toward a single seat across from the two alicorns.
Trying to lighten his own mood at least, Flash quipped, “Soooo… were you two talking about me?”
The smile that had seemed so comforting and motherly a moment ago was now nothing but a poker face. Glancing at Twilight, Flash noticed that she looked a bit uncomfortable, maybe even guilty? Settling onto the plush cushion that had been placed on the floor, Flash looked back and forth between the two princesses.
Renewing her magnanimous mask, Princess Celestia addressed the pensive commoner. “Flash Sentry, as you may be aware, weddings in Twilight’s family have been a bit… troublesome.”
Chuckling, Flash recalled the exciting wedding of his former commanding officer, Shining Armor. Of course, Twilight’s connection to the royalty of Equestria made her a prime target for any sort of attack, deception, or what was it he had heard? A marriage that was more ‘political than romantic.’ Relaxing a bit, Flash nodded and waited for the princess to continue.
“In light of such events, I proposed a modest invasion of your privacy. She agreed that it was prudent.”
To Flash’s left, Twilight also sat facing the princess, just out of wing’s reach. She didn’t look back at Flash, she only blushed and nodded her head, attempting what he supposed was intended to be a smile.
Princess Celestia leaned forward with her regally long neck. Flash closed his eyes as she tilted her long horn down toward Flash’s head.
Flash heard the princess say, “Don’t worry my little pony, this will be over in a moment.” A small jolt of magic sparked into his forehead, like touching a doorknob after shuffling your hooves across a wool carpet. The room spun for just an instant, but quickly righted itself.
He took a deep breath and smiled. “That wasn’t so bad. Are we ready to talk about our engagement?” He opened his eyes, hoping for a pleasant conversation.
Princess Celestia’s smile had left, instead her eyebrows furrowed and lips pursed as if frozen in the first instant of forming a word.
Something was obviously wrong, and Flash Sentry didn’t have a clue what it was. He was breathing faster now. He frantically looked down at his hooves, half expecting to see deep pits in a lustrous black shell over each limb. After staring at his peach colored fur and completely normal pony hooves for several seconds, he looked back up to see that neither of the princesses had moved a muscle.
Neither of them had spoken either, so Flash filled the silent air with the most eloquent sentence he could possibly compose under the circumstances. “What?”
Princess Celestia slowly leaned back into an upright sitting position and elevated her chin into the regal posture that most ponies were used to seeing. She looked up at an imaginary spot on the ceiling before turning her gaze back down to Flash.
Flash gasped at the look of concern for which the ruler of all Equestria had abandoned her poker face. If she was at a loss for words, then whatever was wrong must be very, very bad. Struggling to keep his voice at a reasonable volume, Flash pleaded for answers. “What is it? What’s wrong with me? What did you find?”
Princess Celestia’s voice was disturbingly quiet. Without the Royal Canterlot Volume, her tone was somehow even more serious. “It is not what I have found, little one. I’m afraid it is what I did not find.” She looked toward Twilight and asked, “You did not tell him?”
Twilight Sparkle hung her head lower, using her bangs as a shield to cover her eyes, preventing eye contact with either pony. Princess Celestia took a deep breath, and any last vestiges of a smile were blown off of her face as the air left through her flaring nostrils.
His whole body was trembling with the quick and shallow breaths that were barely supplying oxygen to him. “I… I don’t understand. What’s going on? Twilight, what’s wrong? Why won’t you talk to me?”
When Twilight didn’t respond, Princess Celestia sighed heavily, and turned to Flash. “Twilight is pregnant.”