Both Lyle and Twilight did not say a word to each other the previous night, other than telling Lyle where he was sleeping; no words were exchanged at all.
Spike also disliked the newest resident to Ponyville (What did you expect? He did get thrown into a wall by the tail!). In reality, they were the only two besides Rainbow Dash who had a huge dislike for the Human.
The very next day, Lyle wanted to get out of the library ASAP and Lyle was out the door after a bit of salad, muttering under his breath about there somehow not being meat in the house.
One thing Lyle did not account for was the trouble he stirred the previous day, ponies were looking at him oddly as though he had just dressed in a tutu and started dancing like a complete moron.
“What are you all looking at? Haven’t you seen a Human before?” Lyle asked the crowd
No one answered, except that one smartflank pony that said, “No”
“Okay then” Lyle paused for a minute, “TWILIGHT!! CAN YOU EXPLAIN ME TO YOUR KIND?! I’LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND!!”
“I’M READING AN IMPORTANT BOOK!” yelled Twilight
“IF YOU DON’T THEN I’LL THEM ABOUT THE “Incident” THING I FOUND IN YOUR BOOK!” Lyle yelled back.
"FINE! I'M COMING DOWN!" Twilight yelled, leaving her spot.
"Works every time" Lyle muttered to himself.
Twilight came out to what was now a crowd, she looked from Lyle to the crowd and started talking, “Well everypony, Lyle here is a Human and he means no physical harm, just treat him like everypony else” Twilight paused before adding to Lyle, “Happy?”
“Eeyup!” said Lyle, imitating the southern accent Applejack had.
A Mare with a grey mane came forward in front of the crowd and spoke up, “As Mayor, I would like welcome you, Lyle to our fair town and hope you enjoy your stay here”
"That was quick" Lyle muttered to himself again, but surprised how quickly they all accepted this.
Lyle couldn’t help but smile at the name of the mayor, it was stupid but then again, from what Lyle knows, it may just be normal in this land. Also Lyle couldn't help but notice that the ponies were certainly trusting, thankfully on a few ponies remained to look as Twilight rounded on Lyle.
“Okay, how did you know about the “incident”?” asked Twilight in an angry tone.
“I didn’t” said Lyle simply
“You mean you-?” Twilight started before Lyle interrupted her.
“Did that just get you out there? Guilty as charged my purple companion, and as we look at the scoreboard it’s Lyle: 2, Twilight: 0, in other words: you wanna get your shit together if you wanna win” said Lyle smugly.
“Don’t you mean 1 point to you?” asked Twilight
“That’s one for now and one for the K.O yesterday” Lyle explained his victories.
“Are you quite done?! Because this mean war! And I WILL WIN this war, no matter the headstart you get, Lyle!” Twilight said angrily
“Try all you want, I’m gonna see what our dear friends are up to, except Miss Ego Dash because quite frankly she’s a sore loser just like a certain Unicorn I know” Lyle said as he walked away.
Lyle walked away in victory while Twilight was left with her hair flaming, she vowed to win this secret war and win it she will!
…
10 Minutes later…
Lyle came across a unique looking building called the Carousel Boutique, which Lyle casually entered was not surprised at all to see Rarity sewing things together mainly due to the fact that this looked like her thing and the fact he marked her as one of those drama-queens.
“Welcome to the Carousel Boutique, where everything is chic, unique and magnifique” said Rarity, who make the last three word’s endings sound the same.
“Hi Rarity” Lyle just waved at her.
“What can I do for you today, Lyle was it?” asked Rarity in a professional tone.
“Well just looking around really” said Lyle, shrugging his shoulders.
“If you need something to look good then I’m your mare! I’ll simply have you shining like a diamond in no time!” Rarity said as though she couldn’t wait to do such a thing.
“Well, I’m more of a casual wear kind of guy” said Lyle as-matter-of-factly.
“Hmm…we can’t have you walking around Ponyville in those “rags”, we need to get you some new clothes and I shan’t take no for an answer!” Rarity said looking at Lyle’s clothes with disgust.
Now that Lyle looked at himself, he did look like he ran through a meat grinder, just without the blood and stuff. His shirt was torn in places as well as his jeans, his clothes were also dirty everywhere which probably happened during the fight to escape and how he got here too!
But Lyle did not have a damned bit on him and was going to express that right now, “Rarity, I don’t have a god-damn bit on me and this twenty dollar note is worth nothing here unless some magical exchange rate was set-up here as I got here”
“Not to worry Lyle, I cannot let a crime against such terrible fashion go uncorrected! And I’ve been just simply dying to make some human clothes since you got here, that’s payment enough” said Rarity waving her hoof.
“Are you sure?” asked Lyle
“Dear Lyle, I am not called the Element of Generosity for nothing” Rarity replied simply.
“Fine, if you insist” Lyle agreed to let this one go.
“Wonderful! Shall we get started?” asked Rarity in excitement Lyle could only relate to a little foal waiting to open his Hearth's Warming presents.
For about a good hour, Lyle suffered from Rarity measuring everything about Lyle until she had enough details to make him some clothes. Finally Lyle was able to leave and he hoped these clothes would be alright.
…
Twilight Sparkle was in her library, not surprising, no? She still has not forgived Lyle for that whole incident yesterday and already they were going towards the path of hating each other.
What she needed was Rainbow Dash, she was the only pony who disliked Lyle besides herself and Spike so she set out to find her so she could get the advantage before Lyle strikes again.
For now, Twilight will bide her time as she may...
...
Lyle was casually walking along the path earning a few stares due to his appearance but he wished they would stop, it made him quite nervous and a bit annoyed, and things did not help when some Aqua colored pony grabbed his hand all of a sudden.
“OH MY GOSH! HANDS! THEY ACTUALLY EXIST!!” the pony yelled, further examining Lyle’s hands much to his discomfort
“Hey! Let me go!” Lyle growled, but this fell upon deaf ears.
“These hands actually exist, and these humans exist after all! I KNEW IT! Celestia be damned I KNEW IT!” the pony continued
“You have 5 seconds to let me go!” Lyle threatened the pony, hoping she would listen but another pony came by.
“Lyra, what are you doing?” asked another Pony who just came.
“Bon-Bon! They’re real! The Humans!” Lyra exclaimed pointing out Lyle.
“I doubt it, must be wearing a good costume” Bon-Bon said looking at Lyle.
“I’m the real deal” said Lyle casually.
“So you actually are Human?” asked Bon-Bon
“Last time I checked” Lyle replied making a pose.
“Oh dear sweet Celestia! I-It’s true, Humans are real!” Bon-Bon said as though hell has frozen over or something.
Lyle was confused at all the fuss and asked, “I don’t get it, what’s the big deal?”
“Well, back in our foalhood, Lyra read a legend about mythical creatures called Humans, long story short, she basically got obsessed over it so many times we almost put her in a mental institution. Oh no…I just realized we all owe Lyra 5 bits” Bon-Bon explained as Lyra grinned evilly.
Lyle felt that sensation just then, that feeling when many beings just lost a bit of money at the same time towards one person or rather, Pony. In other words: Lyra is about to be one rich pony!
….
That Night…
Lyle had finished exploring and safe to say it had been a weird day, so he retired to the just relaxing on the bed. Twilight However, had other plans on dragging the Human with her to a club.
“LYLE!” Twilight yelled
“What?” an irritated Lyle replied.
“I’m going with the girls to the club and you’re coming with us!” said Twilight, in a this-isn't-negotiable kind of way.
“Nah, I’ll just chill here” Lyle said lazily on the bed.
“You will come out or I’ll kick you out!” Twilight threatened Lyle.
“Fiiiiiinnneeee!” Lyle groaned as he got out of bed, ‘Why do I get the feeling this isn’t gonna end well at all!’
...
"So tell me, why am I being dragged all the way to this club for?" Lyle asked his purple companion
"I don't know about your world, but we tend to go out with friends somewhere and that's what we're doing" said Twilight simply
"Yeah but they're more like YOUR friends than mine" Lyle replied truthfully
"Well if you want to fulfill Princess Celestia's wishes of learning friendship, being friends with my friends is the best opportunity for you and you should count yourself lucky that she was nice to you" Twilight said simply
"Pfft, like I care about your stupid Princess anyways, all I care about is getting back home as soon as possible and knowing my parents, they are searching with a whole lot of worry on their shoulders" Lyle said what he wanted.
"Well then, you'd better get in her good books as she may be the only one and possibly her sister as well that can get you home to your world" said Twilight
Lyle sighed, "I'll humor you...for now, but I still ain't getting comfy with you and featherbrain"
The club came into sight as Twilight spoke, "Just try to act somewhat appropriately while we're in there"
Moments later, the pair of them found their “friends” waiting outside including one Rainbow Dash whom Lyle did not look at.
The Club itself reminded Lyle of a club back on Earth, it was less techy than the ones on Earth but it still had a modern charm to it. There were ponies busting their moves on the dance floors, while others were just sitting and chatting with their friends.
Lyle and “friends” got themselves a booth and ordered Hay Fries and a Hayburger but since Lyle didn’t like that kind of stuff, he just got an Apple Cider.
“So Applejack, how goes the farm?” asked Rarity casually.
“It’s pretty darn good right now, Rarity” Applejack replied
“That’s good to hear” Rarity smiled.
“Oooh what about you Lyle?” asked Pinkie.
“Well let’s see, was having a nice life until I got put here and tried to escape, Twilight sets Ego Dash and friends on me, your annoying Princess forces me to try get comfy with you six, got forced to accept Generosity from Rarity, and got my hand raped by Lyra Heartstrings who is obsessed about our race and now I’m here talking to you, Happy?” Lyle summed up his adventures so far, and he wasn't very proud of those adventures.
“Sounds like fun” Rarity commented.
'I need a drink' Lyle thought to himself
“Pfft Please, I do not have a big Ego” Rainbow Dash added
“Bullshit” Lyle muttered under his breath as he drank all the cider he had.
“Wait Lyle! DON’T DRINK IT ALL AT ONCE YOU’LL-“ Twilight tried to warn Lyle, but it was too late, Lyle had downed the whole Cider.
“Uh oh…” Twilight muttered to herself as she knew what would happen sooner or later.
"This drink...I like it! FETCH ME ANOTHER!" Lyle declared his love for the cider.
"Lyle, Apple Cider can get you drunk and you just drunk a full bottle" Twilight warned Lyle but it fell on deaf ears.
Lyle walked to the bar and bumped into a pony as he did so and stared at him angrily.
"Hey watch where you're going you hairless ape!" the Pony said angrily.
"The fuck did you just call me? *HIC*" Lyle asked the pony.
"A Hairless ape, now go away scum" the pony repeated himself
"Oh you're *HIC* going down, *HIC* fucker!" Lyle said throwing a punch at the pony
As soon as the fight began, a crowd came around watching man against pony fighting it out...
…
2 fight-tastic minutes later...
“Don’t come back here until you stop picking fights” The owner, Berry Punch yelled as she chucked Lyle out.
“Yeah well, I’ll build my own club! With blackjack and hookers! You know what? Forget the club!” Lyle shouted at the closed door before walking off.
Moments later, Twilight came out of the club to give Lyle a piece of her mind and boy was she not happy at all, and she possessed that look only a mother looking at a child who broke something valuable could possess.
“LYLE!!!” Twilight yelled
“What do you want?” Lyle asked not looking at Twilight.
“You know perfectly well what! Acting like immature little foal when we take you out! How dare you! Princess Celestia could of easily done something much worse and this is how you repay her?!” Twilight started yelling
“What that little prick *HIC* deserved it! He called me a *HIC* hairless ape!” Lyle shot back.
“That’s not the Point!” Twilight roared
“Yeah? And does this face look like it gives a fuck about the point?” Lyle asked snidely.
“It better, or else!” Twilight threatened.
“Or else what *HIC* nerdy?” Lyle responded.
“That’s it! I’m dragging you back to library!” Twilight said who clearly had enough.
“I like to see you try” said Lyle sneered, walking the other direction
A Purple aura surrounded Lyle and lifted him up and Lyle started struggling to get out.
“Put me down! PUT ME DOWN!!” Lyle yelled as he was getting carried back
“No, you are being immature and until you learn to act somewhat civilized, you aren’t going out to any clubs!” Twilight said calmly as possible.
...
About a few moments after the argument, Lyle was in his room and locked in until tomorrow morning with Twilight just outside the door while Lyle was yelling to be let out.
“HEY LET ME OUT NOW!!” Lyle yelled at the top of his lungs.
Twilight merely responded, “No, not until tomorrow morning and by the way that’s one point to Twilight Sparkle”
“WHEN I GET OUT OF HERE, I WILL MURDER YOU SO BADLY *HIC* THAT NO PRINCESS WILL EVER FIND YOUR DEAD BODY!!” Lyle shouted his threats loudly as possible.
What Lyle didn’t know is that Twilight placed a sound-proof spell on the room as Twilight went to bed winning a battle, the war on the other hand is yet to be won.
(Scoreboard:
Lyle: 2
Twilight: 1)