Envy

by SergeantBuck

Dust and Echoes

Light. It was all she could see in every direction, pale white light. She had returned to her normal form, but that didn't matter. The image of Celestia in tears as she was whisked to a new dimension was all she could think about .
The word around her began to change, taking shape in the familiar world of the castle. Luna found herself at the entrance to the Great Hall and she began to walk towards the empty throne. The only signs of life were the guards, and voices from the upper floor carried to her.
Where am I? Why am I here?
As she ascended the stairs, the sound of fillies at play reached her ears, accompanied by the tune of a familiar nursery rhyme. Luna felt her pulse quicken as she followed the sound down the hall to her bedroom. When she opened the door and peered inside, her heart began to melt.
This wasn't her bedroom. It was her nursery from childhood. Bits and pieces came flying back to her as she looked about. The sun and the moon painted on the ceiling, the rocking dragon in the corner. The books her parents would read to her before bed. And there in the middle of the room, a white alicorn filly with a flowing pink mane sat in a chair, her front forelegs resting on the edge of a crib as she gently rocked it. Luna peered over the alicorn's shoulder and saw a little midnight blue filly wrapped in blankets.
Herself.
The white filly wore a motherly smile on her face as she hummed a tune to the bundle of blankets, gingerly kissing the filly's forehead when the song was done.
"Good night, little sister. I love you."
Celestia...forgive me...
The nursery melted away to sunlight and greenery. Luna found herself in the gardens of the castle surrounded by falling cherry blossom petals. A slightly older Celestia walked past, little baby Luna riding on her back with the tip of a hoof in her mouth. Her parents stood in the courtyard above, a watchful eye on their children during their afternoon walk.
"See, Luna?" Celestia said as she pointed a hoof at some birds in the trees. "Those are called 'cardinals.'"
Filly Luna popped the hoof from her mouth and squealed with delight. "Birdies!"
Celestia giggled at her little sibling. It had been ages since Luna had heard her giggle like that.
"Yes, Luna. Birdies."
The elder Luna inhaled deeply, letting the warm air fill her lungs. When was the last time she'd stopped and sat beneath the sun?
Celestia set Luna down in the grass under the shade of an ancient oak tree. The little filly stared up at her sister with her big aquamarine eyes, waiting for her older sister to lay down before snuggling up beside her wings.
"Luna, are you sleepy?" she asked.
The filly didn't answer. She'd already tucked herself beneath her sister's wing and curled up into a little blue ball. Her sister nuzzled her gently and gazed up at the clear skies.
Luna watched herself sleeping beside her sister. What was the purpose of these visions? To prove to her that her sister loved her? As regret began to take hold, the memory began to change again. Sunlight vanished, replaced once again by the walls of the castle interior. She found herself looking down on Celestia's chambers. Why here?
Her elder sister sat on the bed in silence, eyes at the ground. Her pink mane had picked up the first few traces of blue and green. Two alicorns stood in the doorway, talking to her as if trying to console her.
"There there, my sweet Celestia," Mother said. "Life must run its course."
"But why did he have to die today? We've lost pets before, but on my birthday?"
"We both knew that his life was reaching its end. He's been so sick these past few weeks."
"Today was supposed to be such a good day," Celestia sighed. "Why must we live forever?"
Father gestured into the hallway. "Come along, Terra. Let's leave her alone for a little while."
Luna looked back to where her sister sat, now visibly shaking with sobs.
I remember now...Celestia's birthday...the day I gave her the my most precious gift.
"Tia!" shouted the younger version of herself from down the hall. It was strange to replay the memory not through the eyes of her younger self, but through her own eyes.
The filly walked into the room and looked up at her sister. "Tia, why are you crying?"
"Oh, Luna." Celestia got off the bed and walked to her little sister. "It's Galeam...he's gone."
"Gone? Where'd he go?"
"He went far away, and I don't think he's coming back."
"Can't we go look for him? Who am I supposed to play with while you're learning magic?"
Celestia smiled at her sister's innocent ignorance. "We'll find another pet for you to play with."
"Maybe I could get you a pet for your birthday? I didn't get you anything."
The elder sister gave Luna a kiss on the cheek. "That's very sweet of you, but it's alright. Having you here is enough for me."
Without another word, Celestia strode off into the hall. Luna watched herself stare out of the open window.
"If Tia wants another pet, maybe I can find her one in the gardens? Maybe she'd like a phoenix!"
Luna couldn't help but chuckle at herself. As a child, the idea of a pet phoenix seemed within reach, yet now seemed completely impossible. The little filly spread her wings and leaped out of the open window before flying in the direction of the gardens. She hovered above the colorful flora before landing in the old oak tree. Phoenixes would usually roost there this time of year, and she remembered Celestia talking to Mother about an abandoned nest.
The alicorn filly sat on the tree branch, one hoof on her brow as though she were a lookout. After a minute, she spotted the nest she'd been searching for. Inside it was a single unhatched egg, bright orange and adorned in flames. She picked up the nest and egg with the levitation spell that her sister had taught her and hurriedly flew back to the nursery where an open, unwrapped box was waiting for her. She set the nest down gently in the box and tied it shut before skipping through the halls of the castle, a smile on her face as she called for her sister.
"Tia! I have something for you!" she called out. "Tia! Where are you?"
"Up here, Luna," her voice called back, still somber from the loss of her pet tortoise.
The filly trotted to her sister's room. "Tia! I found a gift for you! Come quick!"
Luna's heart began to ache. It seemed so trivial at the time, giving her sister a phoenix for her birthday. She had no idea that the bird she was giving to her sister was just as immortal as she was. It only began to dawn on her how special this gift was.
Celestia followed Luna into the nursery, a hoof over her eyes. "What is it, Luna?"
"Open them!"
The elder sister's eyes fell on the small parcel in the center of the room. Luna pushed it towards her sister with a wide grin on her face. "For you! Open it!"
"Sweetie, you didn't have to do this for me."
"But you looked so sad before. Please, Tia, open it!"
Her horn glowed as she unwrapped the gift, releasing the ribbon and pulling the lid off. She looked inside and to the surprise of the filly, her jaw went slack.
"Luna...I don't know what to say..." She started crying again as she lifted a small ball of fiery feathers from the box.
"What's the matter?" filly Luna asked. "You don't like it?"
In the equivalent of a hug, Celestia opened her wing and closed it over Luna, drawing the filly in close. "Luna, I love it. It's more than I could ever ask for."
Guilt struck Luna like lightning. She would give everything to be that little filly in her sister's embrace again. To be home, where she would be loved. The memory began to wash away again, replaced instead by darkness pockmarked with stars. Luna looked around and shivered as the warm sun became replaced with cold emptiness. She was no longer in the castle, surrounded by guards in shimmering armor and walls to keep her safe. She was atop a canyon of grey stone looking out at the Earth
Carcere in Astra...the Prison in the Stars...
Luna laid down and began to weep as she realized the mistakes she'd made and what she'd done to her sister. She was alone. Her sister couldn't come and make it all go away. Nopony was here to keep her company in this cold world.
"Celestia, I'm sorry," she said between sobs. "I love you too."