Six Standard Deviations from the Mean

by ArtichokeLust


6:00am

Clair woke up with a chill in her heart. She couldn't quite remember her dreams, but some of the scenes resembled a witch being burned at a stake, and that witch had a pink heart on her shirt.

She wanted to contact Dom again, just to have a sympathetic voice to talk to, but he was still asleep. She couldn't really complain though; she always used to be the one that overslept while he stayed up all night... But today, she understood his insomnia...

As the morning birds' chirpings rang like alarm bells in her skull, she realized she would either have to stay and fight for her race, or run from society. And she did not want to live away from society; she felt everything that Dom felt, and that Cockatrice poison was painful!

Clair ran her fingers through her hair.

But going to that debate would be suicide! The only pony who would protect her would be Fluttershy, and she would be too shy to say anything, even to her friends! And since humans committed that horrible massacre 2300 years ago, everypony would at least demand that she leave to ensure their own safety! But going off how well Dom did in the Everfree, that would be a death sentence...

No, Clair shook her head, remembering how some of the doctors acted around her. The only negative feeling she saw in them was fear. Even the three guests that came by earlier only displayed fear. If that history was still close to most ponies hearts, there would have been disgust on those faces, like there was on Celestia's...

Clair sighed in fleeting relief. It wouldn't be impossible... Her opponents would be describing humanity as some race of evil monsters, and all she to do was provide a counterexample by being nice... Hopefully...

She visualized the chess map in her mind again... Fluttershy was too shy, it would be better to talk to Pinkie Pie, even though she wasn't as close... But Pinkie hugged her yesterday, apologizing for not throwing a welcome party... If they were friends, then Pinkie would do her best to get everyone else to help Clair...

But she would be forcing Pinkie to fight Twilight...

Well then, she would just have to let Pinkie know what she could be getting into!

...releasing the tension on her arms and calming down, Clair rehearsed her conversation with Pinkie a few times, and then went on to rehearsing the coming debate a few times in her mind...

...

"Clair," Dr. Stable called out.

"Yes?" She answered.

"You're free to go."


*knock*
*knock*
*knock*

...

"Yes?" Mrs. Cake opened the door. When she noticed Clair was about twice her height, she took a couple steps back so she wouldn't strain her neck. "Oh... Hello there..." She tilted her head at the new creature.

"Hello," Clair smiled, then steadied herself, "I'd like to see Pinkie Pie."

"Oh," Mrs. Cake frowned slightly, "Well, she's asleep right now, so if you could come back later..."

Clair cringed and looked off in worry, "This is kind of important..." She looked down at Mrs. Cake with a please help me look.

"...I'll wake her..." Mrs. cake walked back inside, leaving the door open, "Come on in."

Clair looked around and found a table with a few cushions around it. She sat. After a few stinging sensations in her tailbone, she found herself leaning forward, using the table to support most of her weight.

...

Pinkie trotted downstairs wearily, looked around the main room, and made her way to Clair's table, a smile slowly grew on her face as she saw her. Clair couldn't help but smile back.

"So," Pinkie rested her elbows on the table and held her chin with her hooves, mimicking Clair's posture, "What brings you here so early?" Pinkie cringed back, "You're not angry because I didn't give you your welcome party are you?"

Clair laughed and shook her head, "No, of course not!" ...her smile faded, "...I need your help."

Pinkie's smile faded, she leaned in with wide, caring eyes.

Clair looked down and took a breath...

"There should be a debate on humans pretty soon, likely about whether or not I can stay" She looked back up at Pinkie.

Pinkie leaned back in realization.

"Pinkie, if that debate doesn't go in my favor, I'm dead." Clair leaned forward. The she felt an urge to cover her mouth. She hadn't heard Pinkie's name before, had she?

Pinkie opened and closed her mouth a few times, then tilted her head, "Couldn't you just go back to--"

"I don't know how I got here!" Clair interrupted, "I have no idea how to get back home, or even if I can!"

Pinkie stared at Clair with her mouth agape. Was she really holding another creature's life in her hooves all of a sudden? Sure, she'd taken care of Gummy, and she'd taken care of the Cakes' foals before, but that didn't come close to this!

Clair tilted her head slightly.

"I-- I'll help," Pinkie said hurriedly, "But..." She couldn't think of what to say next...

Clair breathed out a sigh of relief, "You'll be going against Twilight" --Did she just say another-- you know what, forget it-- "if you do this."

Pinkie tilted her head and scrunched her muzzle, "What? Why would she--"

"Twilight seems to care about what Celestia thinks a lot, and Celestia hates humans." Clair explained.

Pinkie tilted her head the other direction, "But why would Celestia--"

"Did you read your history, Pinkie?" Clair asked.

Pinkie nodded, still confused. "Mhmm."

"Anything about humans?" Clair asked.

Pinkie nodded, then gasped. "You're not one of those humans, are you?"

Clair deadpanned, "We're the same species, just like you and Sombra are the same species."

Pinkie stared at Clair, uncharacteristically serious, and weighed her choices. If she helped Clair, she might have to go against Twilight, and both of them could get hurt... But that wasn't anything compared to... dying...

Pinkie took a breath, steadying herself, "How do I help?"

"...Could you ask some of your friends to help? However they can?" Clair asked.

Pinkie saluted and crouched, ready to dart out of the house.

"Oh yeah! When's the debate?" Clair asked.

Pinkie stopped and looked back, "4:00pm." She darted out the door.

Clair sat at the table for a second, savoring her relief.

Mrs. Cake cast a worried glance at her, but Clair smiled back.

Clair got up and walked out the front door. There were still a few things to do.


Mayor Mare backed away from the human in front of her desk in fear... "W- what do you want?"

Clair frowned and sighed, "I'd like a home, but I don't have a job to pay for it, and my currency isn't good here. I'd be fine with a construction job, since I hear everything is destroyed pretty often here, or cooking, or maybe being a waiter..." She looked off to the right and tried to think of more jobs she was capable of doing...

"Uh, here" Mayor Mare pulled out two books and pushed them to Clair. Clair picked them up and looked for the tables of contents. The first book had not only jobs, but addresses and times for interviews. The second book had new homes and options for mortgages...

...

"Do you have a writing utensil and paper?" Clair asked.

Mayor mare pulled them out and placed them on her table...

...

"Thanks," Clair smiled politely, then looked back to the entrance in confusion, "How often do ponies come in here?"

"Oh," Mayor Mare sighed, "It's a slow hour..."

"...Thanks." Clair pocketed the parchment and left.

'--I have an idea,' Dom spoke up suddenly in Clair's mind.
'Oh, you're awake?' Clair smiled.
'Yup.' The image of Mayor Mare cowering behind her desk flashed into Clair's mind.
'...What does Mayor Mare's fear give you an idea of?' Clair raised an eyebrow.
'I wanted to protect her, just like you wanted to calm the terrified "guests" that visited you. It's an instinctual response.'
'...' Clair digested the information.
'If Celestia or anyone tries to attack you directly at the debate, I should try to protect you. It would lead to more outraged ponies and increase the chance of survival... I'll even prepare a speech for when she attacks.'
Clair shrugged, 'Okay, but you can't attack my attacker.'
Dom grumbled...


Clair knocked on the door to a small cottage. It smelled of animals...

"H-- hello?" Fluttershy slowly opened her door, "Oh! Hello Clair!" Fluttershy flew up and hugged Clair. Clair smiled reactively. Fluttershy let go and Fluttered back down.

"So, um... What brings you here?" Fluttershy tilted her head and looked up at Clair.

"Would you know where I could find Discord?" Clair asked politely.

"D-- Discord?" Fluttershy backed up in surprise.

"Mhmm," Clair nodded her head.

"I-- I'll go get him." Fluttershy rushed back into her cottage.

...

"Hello," A giant upright snake thing flowed out of the door and held its hands together in glee, "Oh! You're the human everypony's talking about!" He leaned his face in to Clair's, "But what did you come to see me for?" He smirked, slithered to Clair's right, and put his arm around her back, "Do you want me to help you pay back Celestia?" He said quietly.

Clair shook her head, "No. Though, it is tempting..." She reached into her right pocket and pulled out Dom's phone, "Have you seen one of these before?"

Discord grabbed the phone and looked it over, "I don't believe I have," he shrugged and threw the phone back to Clair.

"Hey!" She barely caught it, "That could be worth more than everything in Equestria!"

Discord scoffed, then laughed at the ridiculous claim, "If it's that important, then why are you handing it off to random strangers?"

"I thought--" Clair screwed up her face, "I was sure you'd--"

Discord took a step back, almost offended, "You thought I'd what" he raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you'd be curious about what's inside this! Then you could help..." Clair stopped herself from saying her last words. She started slowly backing away.

"Oh Clair..." Discord suddenly wrapped his snake body around her, "don't be shy... what ever do you need my help with?" He batted his eyelashes.

Clair blushed in embarrassment and looked away from Discord's face, which was hard since it was right under her own... " I wanted a phone charger..." She mumbled...

"I'm sorry," Discord cupped his lion paw around his ear and leaned closer to her, "I couldn't hear that... would you mind speaking up a bit?"

Clair scrunched her now red face and looked down at him, "I wanted a phone charger," she said.

Discord uncurled from around her and looked at her overly serious face. He couldn't help it... "Why didn't--" he stifled some laughter "--why didn't you ask that in the first place!" He clenched his teeth to hold back his laughter and steadied himself by grasping his knee, "It's like--" he gasped for breath "--It's like you wanted to manipulate me--" he doubled over, barely containing himself "--into building you a 'phone charger'!" He laughed.

Clair blushed and hunched over in embarrassment, that was exactly what she was trying to do... And then she was reminded of her tailbone...

She turned around to leave...

"I like you." Clair stopped and turned around, Discord was smirking in amusement, but was that also pride on his face? "Nopony's ever had the gall to try and manipulate me!" He held his claws to his chest, "Especially not for little trinkets!" a bobble-head doll of Clair appeared in his paw.

Nope apparently it was just to make more fun of her... Clair turned around again in embarrassment and tried to leave more quickly... She started running...

...

*buzz*
*buzzzzzz*

Clair stopped to check her pocket. It didn't make sense; her phone should have died days ago...

As she picked the phone out of her pocket, a note came along with it.

"You're welcome.

--Discord"

She stared at the note for a few seconds...

She put the note back in her pocket and turned her phone back off to save battery.


Clair put her hands on her knees and breathed out in exhaustion.

'That's it,' She thought, 'enough chores by myself, you come out.'
'fine.' Dom slowly came into existence to the right of Clair.
'...Analyzing ponies?' Dom suggested to Clair and started walking before she answered.
'Sure, analyzing ponies...' Clair thought back.

They walked around Ponyville at a leisurely pace, never out of sight of one another. But they noticed pretty soon that Dom was drenched in sweat...

It seemed like a visit to the boutique would be next instead...


Twilight skimmed through a mountain of books, trying to find tidbits of information that would convince everypony of how Clair would destroy them. It was like Nightmare Moon all over again; she knew she was dealing with something dangerous and possibly world ending, but nopony would believe her! And this time the fate of Equestria rested on ponies believing her...

All she needed was a few more hours of reading, and nopony could deny her! She already finished 'debate 101', 'wooing a crowd', 'the difference between philosophy and debate', and countless titles on human history, now she just needed to read up on a few philosophical arguments on predestiny, consciousness, and existence...


Dom walked around Ponyville in his new clothes. (The same formal style as last time, but in a calmer blue, and with absolutely no gems. He was quite adamant about that.) He noted the looks a few ponies gave him. It was usually a mix of fear or curiosity...

Clair wasn't paying attention to ponies...

Dom noticed the scenes of the phone powering up, the note, and Discord's possibly prideful face flashing through his mind from Clair, along with a few confused feelings...
'Aww... Are those feeling what I think they are?' Dom couldn't hold back his grin.
Clair snapped back to reality 'I-- wha--' She looked around. Dom sent the scenes back to Clair. Clair blinked... 'Damnit!'
Dom giggled internally. 'You like it when he coils--?'
'Shut up...' She interrupted, rolling her eyes.
'...Anyway' Dom straightened, 'I'm done observing ponies... this is too boring.'
Clair blinked. She suddenly remembered the feeling of Discord body coiled around hers--
'No! Damnit!' She shook her head, 'Uh... What do we do now?'
Dom shrugged.

A group of ponies stared in confusion at the silent conversation...

'Why not go to Twilight's?' Dom suggested.
'So she can kill us in the safety of her own home?' Clair gave him an unsure look...
'Spike will be there.' Dom thought.
'Yeah, she can't murder us in front of her baby brother because it would traumatize him and he wouldn't be able to keep his mouth shut. That still doesn't mean it's completely safe.' Clair thought.
'Yeah, but I'm still exhilarated from your feelings, and I have nothing to do. So let's sabotage whatever Twilight's doing while acting innocent.'
'...' Clair reluctantly walked over to Dom... 'I'll wait outside. If she attacks, fade away as quickly as you can.'

Dom breathed out and tried to feel complete trust in Clair... He closed his eyes...
'You'll need to do that with your eyes open.'

Dom opened his eyes and watched himself fade in curiosity... A few seconds after his torso vanished, his view of Clair was replaced by the synthetic landscape he designed. But now it was covered in sheep. Endless sheep...

'...Why are there sheep?' Dom smiled.

He forced himself to feel alertness, and found himself back in front of Clair.