Six Standard Deviations from the Mean

by ArtichokeLust


But your friends will have your back

"Is that a human?" Discord pointed a claw at Clair, "What is it doing here?"

"Yes," Fluttershy swooped on top of Dom's gurney, not noticing his absense. "It is." She frowned and looked into his eyes, "And these humans are very, very sick."

"These humans?" Discord repeated, "But I only see one."

"Huh?" Everypony turned to look at Clair, then to Dom. The doctor shrieked when he noticed his patient was gone. "Where did he go!?"

The doctor looked under and around Dom's gurney, but he was nowhere to be found. Everypony else helped him in his search, except for Twilight. She put her hoof under her chin and started thinking.

"I think I may know where he went." She said. Everypony stopped what they were doing and looked at her.

"Remember how... the female--"

"Clair," Pinkie interrupted.

"--How Clair was able to fade in and out... of existence randomly, but the male--

"Dom," Pinkie interrupted.

"But Dom couldn't?" Twilight continued.

A few ponies nodded. Most of them looked at her confused.

"Clair was only visible when Dom was awake." Twilight clarified. Several ponies thought, then shrugged, accepting it.

"Anyway, what if the male--"

"Dom," Pinkie interrupted again.

"What if Dom faded away, and Clair--"

"Clair," Pinkie interrupted.

Twilight smirked and squinted at Pinkie. Pinkie grinned apologetically.

"...What if Dom faded away, and he left Clair to deal with the real world instead?" Twilight suggested.

The ponies looked at each other.

"So that's what she meant when she said they only had one body..." Rainbow Dash mused. Everypony looked at her for clarification.

"It's like the axolotl knights in the deserted cavern in the fifth book in the Cerulean sub-series of Daring Do!" Rainbow Dash sat up as she explained, excited, "The knights were few in number, but since each knight shared their body with multiple minds which could switch out, they never got exhausted!"

Pinkie nodded her head.

Applejack looked at Rainbow Dash, flabbergasted. She held her head with her fore-hooves, "Now I understand it less than I did a minute ago!"

Rainbow Dash slumped.

"It's simple," Pinkie spoke up, "The axolotl knights needed to change their form quickly in battle to stay unpredictable, and since bodies were scarce, they made up new personalities." Pinkie pulled a fedora and a pipe from her hair and donned them, "It's like if I needed the perspective of an investigator, I'd act like an investigator."

"Yes, I think I get it now," Rarity said, "But... Wait..." Did Pinkie actually explain something to her successfully?

"You read Daring Do!?" Rainbow Dash and Twilight said at once.

"Pinkie," Twilight said, ecstatic, "Why didn't you tell me."

"Well--" Pinkie started.

"Could we please get Clair into the scanning room!" Fluttershy and the doctor yelled at once.

"Oh," Twilight shrunk, "sorry." She took hold of Dash's gurney and pushed it into the room, unblocking the door.

Pinkie and Fluttershy carefully picked up Clair and laid her on the gurney where Dom used to be.

"Oh, hello again ponies," Discord spoke, opening his arms in a welcoming way, "I see you've finished your little meeting."

"Discord!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"And why are you dressed like a nurse?" Applejack added.

"Well--" Discord started.

"I told him you were sick" Fluttershy finished for him, "and that he should visit you like how we visited him when he was sick."

"Oh, okay," Applejack said, shrugging. "But that still doesn't explain why he's dressed like that."

The doctor, finally fed up with everyone's stalling, yanked the gurney containing Clair out of Fluttershy's grip, and moved it towards a scanner.

"Sorry!" Fluttershy paled.

"Well, I was going to visit Rainbow Dash, but the ponies at the front desk wouldn't tell me where she was." Discord threw his arms out in frustration.

"I wonder why," Applejack deadpanned.

"So, in an effort to gain their trust, I offered to work for them," Discord smirked, "And they were so understaffed that they just had to hire me!"

Applejack squinted at him, "Why were they understaffed?"

"Well..." Discord shrugged, "I just don't know..."

Several beeping noises caught the attention of Discord and the mane six. They looked over and saw the previous doctor tearing his hair out as he looked at Clair's still incomplete scans. He was surrounded by a team of other worried doctors and nurses.

"She shows signs of hemorrhaging in her frontal lobe already," The doctor spoke to the team, "Get me corticosteroids ASAP, and get me some pain killers too."

He looked at the rest of the scan as it developed. "My god..." He saw the spine. "Notify the unicorn surgeons that we have another acute spinal injury, and severe inflammation along the back!" He let the scan continue to the rest of her body, he saw her lower back, "We have a hairline fracture along the tailbone!" He yelled out to the now frantic team of doctors, "And petrification of the stomach and intestines, bring me some softening formula!"

He frantically scanned the images for any more injuries, "Oh," he sighed, laughing, "get a cast ready for her hand too."

Wait, something was wrong. The male human had the exact same injuries, but more severe. It was like the female was actually the same person, but she decided to walk around some and upset all her injuries. Except... the male human had one more thing...

The doctor rushed over to Clair, looked under her eyes, and opened her mouth. "She has severe dehydration!" He yelled, "get me EXTRA saline solution! Or else the softening formula will use up the water before it even gets to her!... And make sure to do a blood analysis to check if she has any other problems!"

"...Geez..." Discord winced, "I guess she was 'really, really sick'."

"Still," he continued, giving an unsure look to the mane six, "Are you sure you should be treating a human?"

"No I'm not sure," Twilight glared.

"Oh thank goodness," Discord laid his palm against his forehead, "For a moment I had lost all hope for your sanity!"

Twilight deadpanned at him.

"Well I'm sure," Fluttershy stepped forward.

"Fluttershy?" Discord reared back in surprise, "But why?" He held his arms out, "Haven't you heard the stories? Especially where they took the horns of unicorns and--"

"Yes," Fluttershy interrupted, "I've read history."

"Then why?" Twilight asked.

"Because I also know that Clair and Dom have been nothing like the humans in the stories. They've been nice to us the whole way"-- a light brown unicorn stopped by to watch the drama after giving his saline solution to the other doctor--"and all we've given them in return is doubt and injury," Fluttershy huffed.

"But Fluttershy," Twilight stepped forward, "Don't you see? What they're doing is the perfect way to get close to us and gain power--"

"What they're doing" --Fluttershy stomped-- "is trying their hardest to stay alive!" She glared at Twilight. Rarity and Applejack grimaced. After what they heard from the doctors, Fluttershy did have a point.

"But they could turn at any momen--"

"Actually," the light brown unicorn spoke up, "I think she's right."

Everypony and Discord looked to him now.

He continued, "The girl-- Clair, was that her name?"

Pinkie nodded.

"Clair suffered a severe blow to her head, causing hemorrhaging to her frontal cortex."

Everypony, even Twilight, tilted their heads.

"We've seen injuries like this before, and usually the pony loses their inhibitions; they'll just do whatever first comes to mind."

The mane six stared back, but Discord quietly gasped in realization.

"...If Clair wanted to hurt you, she would have." The doctor glared back, "But what was the first thing she did?"

Twilight looked down, frustrated and confused, "She hugged you..."

"And then she hugged me," Applejack spoke up, "It felt like it just came outta nowhere..."

Twilight stared intensely at the floor... Was history wrong about humans? No, if it was, then Luna, Celestia, and Discord wouldn't have been able to recognize Dom, and he probably wouldn't have agreed to the name. In fact, the possibility of humans and ponies having the same language was so astronomical, it was laughable, unless... unless there were multiple meetings between humans and ponies. But how could a language have come along, and developed... the gryphons. The gryphons spoke Equestrian upon meeting ponies, and started out with a profound hatred at first sight. But whenever she took a moment to think about it, that hatred didn't make any sense: Griffons didn't just hate everything they saw. So then... what if humans were friends with Griffons, but enemies with ponies... because of that law...

It made sense, but she didn't want to think of Luna and Celestia in that light. Because if that was true, and humans regularly visited Equestria, Luna would have ordered the death of countless innocents, and Celestia would have continued that order for thousands of years!

"No," Twilight whispered to herself.

No! Humans had to be evil! They just convinced the griffons to help them when they found they could no longer take on everyone by theirselves! Dom and Clair had to be scheming against them all right now! They were playing everyone for fools, relying on their kindness! They faked their injuries! They faked their--

"She didn't even tell me her name..." the Doctor said wistfully.

Twilight glared at the doctor for being so foolish, then rushed over to Clair. She would end this herself.

She picked Clair up in her magic and--

Discord snapped his fingers. Suddenly, neither of them were in the hospital.


Twilight looked around, confused. She was just in the hospital, but now she was in an endless library that twisted and turned every possible direction. When she looked at it, she could see an order to it, as if the Dewey decimal system was improved a hundred fold and used to structure the library as well as organize the books in it. At any other time she would have been ecstatic to see such a place, but now she needed to be somewhere else.

"Twilight," Discord scolded, looking down at her, "What were you just about to do?"

Twilight turned around, glaring at him. "I was going to end that foolish charade! They think they can fool all of us?" She stomped, "Well they can't fool me..."

"Twilight," Discord said, his tone unusually even, "I understand where you're coming from, in fact, I could even agree with you, but Fluttershy asked for us to show kindness to the humans. I don't think that means killing them."

Discord leaned in, "Isn't a good friend supposed to listen to their other friends?" he asked.

Twilight glared, "A good friend should protect their other friends when they can't protect themselves."

"Oh really," Discord smirked and leaned back in the air, "but how is that truly friendship if you lose your friends because of it? Because you went against their will, and everything they believed in?"

"I'd rather lose my friends to a disagreement," Twilight glared, "than lose them completely."

"Twilight," Discord said dangerously, then snaked towards Twilight, his nose touching hers. His entire body levitated. "Fluttershy is my only real friend. Not Applejack or Rarity, not Rainbow Dash... well, maybe Pinkie Pie, but definitely not you. If anyone is scared of losing her, it's me." He coiled up against Twilight, his eyes glowing, "yet I've chose to trust her in this, even when there was a slight chance that she could be hurt."

Twilight teleported out of Discord's grasp, "Well... I'm hurt Discord," She grimaced and looked up at him with eyes filled with sadness and anger, "I thought we were friends."

"Hardly," Discord stood up, laughing, then fell backwards, looking at her with an upside down face, "friends don't hold guns to each others' heads."

Twilight glared.

"Fluttershy was the first to refuse using the Elements on me, even though you demanded it." Discord teleported behind Twilight, "At any other time, you could have convinced your friends to blast me back into stone."

"I know what you're implying." Twilight glared, "Do not refer to my friends that way." She stomped, "They are my friends, they are not soldiers under my command."

"Oh really," Discord grew 50 times his original size. His head barely fit in the room with Twilight, and his face was seething with contempt, "Because to me it looked like purpose was what brought you and your friends together. First it was saving the world from nightmare moon," Discord started slowly rolling his eyes, "Then me, the changelings, some parasprites and other monsters..."

Suddenly, Discord's giant head was nowhere to be seen. Twilight felt a paw on her back. Her heart finally started to race. How powerful was Discord really?

Discord walked up from behind her on her right, "Honestly I think you should've stuck with the superhero thing you did with Rainbow Dash. Now the only thing keeping you six together is Pinkie Pie."

"That is not true--" Twilight glared.

"Oh really?" Discord appeared below her and suddenly thrust his hand into her rib-cage. He didn't puncture anything, but he pulled out some magic.

Twilight fell on her side, it was as if Discord pulled out everything that made her want to continue living. "G- give that..."

"Of course," Discord said hurriedly, "But," He moved the magic close to Twilight's face. There were several colored orbs. The largest two were white, followed by a pink and a green one, then by a blue one, a light purple and blue one, and then several other similarly sized orbs in the colors of four of the mane six. Discord hurriedly stuffed the magic back in Twilight's chest.

Twilight gasped and shakily rose to her hooves, "Discord!" She yelled, "Never do that again!" She held her heart. Tears began to form in her eyes.

"Yes of course," he said quickly, "But which one of those orbs was largest, out of the ones that felt like your friends?"

"Pink," Twilight admitted, "but that doesn't make any sense!"

"Of course it makes sense," Discord snapped in frustration, "Pinkie is the only thing holding you and your friends--no--the entire town of Ponyville together. Without her, it would shrink back to the smaller farming community it once was."

Twilight glared at Discord. But honestly, she didn't know what to say. She couldn't even refute Discord; she saw what Ponyville was like when Fluttershy tried taking Pinkie Pie's role.

"So," Discord held her hoof and back in a classic dancing position, "How do I know you won't commit murder in front of all of your supposed friends?" His eyes narrowed.

Twilight sighed, her face fell, then her head, "I'm sorry..."

Discord glared. He looked at her for a while, deciding what would be best.

"Fine," He finally decided, "You're free to keep an eye on 'Clair and Dom', but I will not let Fluttershy hear about you killing them."

"...fine..." Twilight accepted.


Clair woke up, but didn't open her eyes. She formed Dom's mindspace in an instant, though parts of it were broken or blurred. She didn't waste any time savoring "the art of creation" as Dom called it. She found Dom, and brought him into her space.

Dom laid on the floor, depressed. "I can't believe we forgot Discord..."

Clair narrowed her eyes in a snarl, her hair and eyes turned white-pink, the heart on her shirt followed, "I forgot Discord." She bent down and picked up Dom by the throat, glaring at him, "Are you saying I'm a failure?"

Dom looked at her with sad, heartbroken eyes, "...No, I would never say that..." he frowned.

Clair threw him, "Then get up!" she said as loudly as she could without yelling. "I hate seeing you like that..."

Dom weakly picked himself off the floor, "I'm sorry..."

"Shut up..." Clair said, grimacing. "I thought we were past this," She sighed, turning her head down, then she glared back at Dom, "Not even we can do everything perfectly," she continued, her face contorted in disgust, "get used to it."

"Right," Dom looked back at her, a little more power in his voice now, "...Where does Discord fit?"

The old planning table showed up between Clair and Dom, though it was somewhat shattered and blurred like everything else. They both took a seat.

"Dicord." Clair breathed out, calming herself. The piece appeared in her hand. She threw it up in the air, and it landed right next to Fluttershy.

"The only one we can truly say he's friends with," A scene showed above Discord showing the fourth season opening to my little pony. Discord could be seen in Fluttershy's cottage, holding his hands together by his chest while looking at Fluttershy, "is Fluttershy."

Clair looked up at Dom. When she found he wasn't looking back, she picked up his chin with her right hand and forced him to look in her eyes. She held him like that for a second, allowing him to calm down...

She let go of his chin and continued, "Since Fluttershy's on our side, Discord's on our side. And he's the only one who could really protect us from Twilight." Two scenes appeared above Twilight's piece, one showed her using her magic to hold several ponies at once in the abandoned castle, and the other showed her holding Pinkie in her magic. Then a third showed up, showing her pick up a giant flower with Cadence's help. Next, a scene appeared above Discord's piece showing him casually uprooting a tree and putting it back down, and then another scene showed up beside the first showing him lifting almost all the houses in Ponyville.

"Though," Clair shuddered, a scene appeared above Twilight's piece showing her brainwashing all of Ponyville, "I hope we don't have to rely on him... I'm not even sure that Discord won't betray Fluttershy..." A scene appeared above Discord's piece. It was the season four opening where he called Fluttershy "Shutterfly".

Dom looked at the table, then at the floor. Clair sighed and snapped her fingers. The table disappeared. Dom stood up, intent on following Clair's last instructions.

"Look at everything we've lost..." He looked around at his mind-space. Everything was either blurred or partially shattered. He could no longer be sure where he would end up when he walked through a door way, or if he could move at all past this first room.

Clair stood up and walked over.

"Come here..." She embraced him, "...Look at what we still have..."