10:00pm
Mann.co facility 6523-018
cp_Foundry
Weapons maintenance room.
The nine RED mercinarys that where hired by Mann.Co worked like kidnapped children in St.Nick's workshop preparing for tomorrow's battle. Combat classes like Heavy and Soldier cleaned their guns, and support classes like Medic and Engineer made sure their Equipment was in well working order so not to fail them or their teammates. Getting Mann.Co gear to work was very hard so nothing was said between the mercs as the swabbed their barrels, checked their fuel, counted their ammo, replaced their batteries, and calibrated their automated sentry guns, it was almost peaceful,
Almost.
All the classes Attention was stolen the second a huge BOOM! was heard at the end of the room. A spooky green light filled eyes of the surprised mercs as a tall wizard with a swirly oak staff and dressed in a prison uniform emerged.
"IIII AM THE GREAT AND POWERFUL MERASM,...." The wizard began "WE ALREADY KNOW WHO YOUR ARE" a short scrawny young man in a baseball cap yelled from the other end of the room.
"Ahem* Marasmus" the wizard finished,"I have escaped from prison to tell you all something, and that is, I MEAN YOU NO MORE HARM!!!." Than merasmus simply stood their with a red dot covering his forehead.
"Wait,.... what was that mate?" An Australian man asked as he lowered his sniper rifle.
"Thats right, i forgive you all for what happened 2 halloweens ago and i've come to let bygones be bygones, Now if you all may leave the room i have some sorrowful words for Soldier so we can finally let the bad blood between us wash away.
8 Mercenaries left the room as soldier approached Merasmus
When the room was empty the wizard looked down at soldier with an amazing amount of,......blistering fury
"Prepare to die Soldier" Merasmus said quietly.
"Ha what? Marasmus you cowardly canadian (sorry canada) i will only come back stronger!" Soldier said with a laugh.
"Oh Soldier I read the rest of the label and that effect only applies if you're killed by a magician, and I have some news for you". Marasmus leaned in meeting his nose with Soldier's "I'm not going to do any of the killing at all". Soldier panicked and pulled out his rocket launcher and fired, Merasmus held out his hand as the rocket detonated harmlessly off it, then he magically pulled the launcher from Soldiers hands, snached it out of the air and threw it out of the window.
"No point in using your toys against me, I've learned a lot since you framed me for the murder of Tom Jones and left me to rot in prison" Merasmus said. "But being there did give me time to think, of where to send you , and after all that thinking i considered, a gender swapped universe? No, a blocky low resolution universe? No, a world of complete DOOKIE? Again no, Prepare yourself Soldier for this is the last time we will ever see each other SUMONUM EQUETIRIAN TRIBIUM!!!" Soldier scream in horror as a bright rainbow colored portal universe.
Soldier grabbed the table behind him and hung for dear life as the portal began to swallow up everything in the room, weapons from all of the mercenaries lockers flew out of their shelves and swirled around the room before draining into the portal. Soldier hung on tightly, But let out a yell as one of heavys Miniguns known as “The brass beast” flew out of The Heavy’s Locker and collided with Soldier.
"Curse you merasmus you were the worst roooommmaaat......" Soldier was cut off when the portal shut and Merasmus cackled with delight before he hit the ground with his staff and disappeared in a cloud of ghostly green light
Soldier woke up in complete darkness between two heavy masses. He got up to find that he was covered in various weapons that he and his teammates often use. Soldier broke through the darkness to a source of sunlight, examined his surroundings. He was in a dark forest covered in fog and thorn bushes, Soldier thought for a moment, After furiously working the pink organ under his helmet he came to a realisation.
Canadia!!! that mangey magician send me to his native homeland so he could have the homefront advantage!" Soldier shouted. The soldier stood up and sifted through the pile of weapons at his feet, he found a shotgun and decided to pick it up, then he found something else in the pile, all of his teammate’s spytech bags!! with these he could carry all these weapons, He equipped the bags and started to fill them with weapons, Soldier decided to take all he could carry, Scatterguns, revolvers, swords, and other assorted melee weapons that the writer was to tired to name. It was halfway through the pile that he came to realise that there were none of his beloved rocket launchers, Then he remembered that he always kept his locker locked so that the other classes couldn't get their fingerprints on them, the only weapons he had of his were some assorted secondary weapons he was cleaning at the moment Marasmus attacked.
Disappointed he left all the weapons he couldn't carry on the ground (mainly Heavys miniguns), then he found out why the ground was so hard, a resupply locker had been sucked into canada with him! Now heavily armed, Soldier picked up the locker and started off in the forest to find a fort to call home.
Some time later.
Soldier stumbled on a cave, a very small cave, and went inside, the cave was dark and damp. Soldier crawled a few feet inside and found a large main chamber, Soldier noticed a few pair yellow eyes watching him. He fired his shotgun and spooked them to the side of the cave, in the dim light he could make out three wolves in the darkness, Soldier checked the color of his uniform and thought to himself, remembering the fairy tales his mom used to read to him "these are the three little wolves,...and they think im red riding hood just because I have a helmet on and a shotgun" Soldier decided to end the situation diplomatically by burying two ounces of buckshot into each wolf's skull. Soldier satisfied with a job well done ate the ribs of the wolves (which he found to be a bit tough, and flammable) and set the resupply locker in the cave. Soldier walked to the mouth of the cave and shouted "Hey Merasmus!! you can't beat a tough s.o.b. like me! Nayn nayn nayn nayn!!! No matter how many canadian sleeper agent wolves made of wood you send after me!" He mocked.
Soldier awoke the next morning on a bed he made from the canadian sleeper agents bodies (except for their ribs) He stretched and yawned, then he went to the resupply locker he pulled through the crawlspace and replaced the ammo he used yesterday.
Then Soldier took a minute to think,"Well if Merasmus is from here the all i have to do is find civilization and then their should be a wizard there that could help me (good thing canada if full of wizards) Soldier got up and equipped his shotgun and left the cave, outside the cave he heard waterflow, few yards away was a river. he decided to follow it concluding that it would lead to a town.
A bit more time that last time later.
Soldier dived down, up ahead he spied a very weird looking town, it was very brightly painted and it was also very large, still being in Canada Soldier decided to sneak into town. He used the tree cover from the forest to slip into the system of alleyways in the town quietly. Until he noticed something, no one was walking in the streets, Soldier heard people but he couldn't find them, where they invisible? was Canada populated by ghosts? Soldier didn't know much about Canada so he didn't dismiss his theories until he found the true inhabitants of Canada
"Pony hippies" That was the only name he could think of when he saw a mass of them in the town square, they had human bodies but their ears and mouths and faces where just,...wrong, but what really got Soldier angry was their hair, long hair (his 5th greatest enemy) and brightly colored hair (his 6th) surrounded him on every front, Soldier ducked into a dumpster full of half eaten pastries and tried to find out what the horse people were plotting against America.