My eyes clenched due to the bright rays of light that entered through the large glass balcony door on the far right side of my quarters. Pushing myself up into a sitting position I scrapped my knuckles across the under parts of my eyes rubbing the tiredness and the dry crust out from under them. “Now...” I mumbled to myself recalling the odd life like dream I had over the night. “That was complete bull crap,” my voice tired and irritated. “I swore, she had to be cheating! That was clearly a head shot!” I flung the thick red blanket off of me. The cold air hitting my body, a shiver forced out of me as I swung my legs to the side. “Dodged it my ass...” I mumbled through chattering teeth. Grasping onto the sheets I used them to push myself off the bed.
My feet landed on the soft plush carpet, standing up to full height and rubbing the bottom of my eye once again. Blindly I stumbled around the huge room for minutes as I searched for my shoes, still grumbling angrily about last nights dream. At least I think it was a dream... I threw the blanket that hung off the side of the bed back onto the mattress. Looking around the room my eyes drifted towards the vanity mirror on the left side of the bed, resting up against the wall, my eyes drifted below the desk I continued to search until I noticed the small white reflection against a black surface of my leather shoes. I headed over to them getting down onto one knee I took my nice dress shoes and went back over to the bed and tossed them onto it.
I then went over to the chair that stood by the dresser near the doors to the balcony, where my dress-suit laid neatly draped over the back of the chair and snatched it up and slipped my arms through the sleeves to put it on. After quickly buttoning up and a quick trip to get freshened up for the day in an "almost" blindingly and unmanliest of bathrooms. Afterwards I returned to the room only to find something rather peculiar on the floor.
In the middle of the red carpeted floor sat a white envelope with a golden seal on it, "~Gee now, I only wonder who this could be from.~" I rolled my eyes as I bent down and retrieved the note from its spot on the floor. For a few frustratingly moments I struggled with the damn seal until I ripped the note open. "Well fucking great..." I cursed as I carefully checked to see if I mistakenly ripped the letter in two during my process of getting the damn thing open.
Good, the note is still in one piece. After taking the letter out, I crumpled up the envelope into a ball and tossed it over my shoulder, not even bothering to aim for the garbage can. "Oh..." I said checking out the folded pink piece of paper that had pieces of glitter on it. "She actually managed to decorate it for me..." I smirked. "How cute, I don't see why she would, but meh..." I stopped. "...God, I need to stop talking to myself..." I whispered to myself. Not even a second later I shrugged, "Well, it's not like I'm going to be talking to that many people today..." aannnd I answered myself.
Well that's check two on the list of Insanity.
I unfolded it and began to read the neatly written cursive.
Dear, Lee,
I’m afraid to say that today, I will not be able show you around the courtyard as I promised–
“Psh... It’s not like I wanted go look around it... so not really much of miss there.”
It turns out that I must attended to a very important meeting down in Saddle Arabia–
I snorted. “Fucking seriously?” I laughed.
So do not worry about attending to my services today,
“Like I was even going to...”
instead I’ll have you get comfortable with your surroundings, be social, get to know everypony and try to fit in with the others. Remember they cannot figure out who you are as long as you’re wearing the necklace I gave you, if not you’ll probably cause a panic amongst the guards. Speaking of which, remember how I told you about Flash Sentry before you went to bed last night. Just in case you accidentally run across him, there is a picture of him the envelope–
“Wait what?” I glanced at the torn crumpled up ball on the ground. “Oh...” I said quietly. “Whoops.” Should've checked the whole thing first you tard.
And try to remain yourself, Flash believes you to be his friend. Possibly even his best friend, I don’t know the whole facts you’ll have to take that up with Discord. He’s the one who did the manipulating, all I know for what I’ve told Discord to do is make him a good friend of yours. But as I told you before he isn’t always a trustworthy draconequus–
“Wait... What... I don’t even...” I sighed. “Who the hell is Discord?”
Also if you have any other questions or concerns... or even problems that begin to arise. Please go see my sister Luna, she’ll be sleeping in her quarters, don’t mind her being angry if you wake her she’ll understand. And do not worry about her guards I left you a note in your left pocket on your suit that’ll explain everything to them.
“Okay...” I reached back with my left hand took the dark purple envelope that had an overly darker shade of blue seal out my chest pocket. “Why couldn’t my envelope come in a cool looking seal like this...” I playfully pouted. Setting the purple envelope back into my pocket I quickly skimmed over the rest of the letter. It wasn’t much and didn’t really say anything new, mostly telling me where I can find the main throne room... dining room... and wait a second. There was one more thing at the bottom.
P.S. There is one more thing I want to tell you, Lee, before I end this off. Whatever you do under all circumstances, do not. And I mean do not! Leave the castle grounds at all cost. No matter what is happening, the spell is only bounded to the castle if you leave without any of the three of us enhancing the spells strength it’ll deactivate. Leaving the whole world to truly see who you are.
“Not only that, if the spell deactivates who knows how the general... blah, blah...” I quickly skimmed over the final parts. “Okay whatever,” I crumpled the paper up and just like the envelope I tossed it over my shoulder.
“It’s not like I planned on going anywhere today.” I said to myself stretching out my arms popping each of my joints, taking a step forward I felt a crunch beneath my right foot. Frowning in confusion I lifted my foot to get a clear look, it was a small little wrapped present by the looks of it about the width of the palm of my hand with a tag coming off of it. I got onto one knee again and bent over to retrieve my mystery gift. There was no weight to it, instead the gift felt like a crumpled up piece of wrapping that was badly taped together by a toddler in a day care.
I pulled the tag off and flipped open the flap to see who it was from. “Happy Hearths Warming eve,” I read out loud, “Hope you get better soon, your friend Shimmering Grace.”
It took me about a minute to remember who she was. As I mulled the name over for a bit in my mind, the end part of her name kept sticking out to me. 'Grace. ' The thought of my daughter made me frown. The weight of last nights dream returned to my shoulders causing me to fell as if I was Atlas carrying the world.
I shook my head and reassured myself with what Luna had said earlier, “In time you’ll see them again.” All I can do now is hope, hope that when I do return home I can explain everything to Alice and she’ll under–!! “Jesus Christ, Lee!” I shouted to myself, venom dripping from my words. “Nobody’s going to believe me if I go around saying that I was trapped in a world full of talking hors--!!” Stopping myself I took a deep breath, I need to distract myself before I become an emotional train wreck again similar to last night.
My thoughts returned to the gift still sitting in my hands, grabbing a loose part in the wrapping paper I gently tore it open. After a few frustrating seconds of tape getting stuck to my fingers, and trying to figure out a way to open my early Christmas present without absolutely destroying it, I finally succeeded in unwrapping it to discover that my... actually pretty neat present is a bowtie.
A small black bowtie that matches my suit perfectly. “Heh.” I chuckled. “That’s cute, thanks Grace.” I thanked her even though she wasn’t there in the room. My mind drifted back to yesterday and how I reacted to the poor confused pony. A bit of guilt trickled onto my heart as I remembered how rude I was despite her just trying to help. “I guess... I guess I should go apologize to her.” I once again spoke to myself... I should really stop doing that it’s getting quite creepy.
I took the bowtie, which was a clip on, and put it on to my dress suit shirt and turned towards the vanity mirror. Quickly I checked myself over. with a suit plus a white polo and the addition of a bowtie, leave out the heavily applied bandages that cut through part of my hair and wrapped around my forehead, I actually looked quite shnazy... as Grace would say it–-!
Stop thinking about your family! it’s only going to make you depressed!
The wound in my head began to scream even as I clutched my forehead with the palm of my right hand. Trying to suppress the headache that arrived just only moments ago, I released a ragged breath dropping my hand back down to my side as my eyes ventured upwards to see the door that led out into the rest of the unexplored castle. “...I’m gonna go for a walk.” Saying to no one but myself as I opened the door and stepped out into the hallway...
Only to forget my enchanted necklace on the desk right beside the vanity mirror.
:[-]:
I’m afraid to admit but, being stuck in a magical world, alone in a beautifully crafted castle would have been quite amazing if I would've known that I wouldn't be returning home a month or so later! Though as I stride through the marvelous castle corridors, I just couldn't resist kicking myself for the last few things I've done over what happened a night ago.
The night that I got into the wreck.
“If you fell down the steps, you wouldn't be here right now! If you wouldn't have forgotten your phone and went back to go get it, you wouldn't be here right now! If you would've kept your damn eyes on the road you wouldn't be here right now!”
You see, for some reason I couldn’t help but blame this entire mess on myself. For some odd reason all this weight and burden had just fallen onto my shoulders, unlike last night I wasn’t being a cry baby bitch at the moment. Instead I was more of a frustrated dick, pardon my french but it’s true. I needed someone to blame, like almost every human being does whenever something bad happens, it’s just in our nature. We need to blame someone, and seeing that I can’t just go and outright blame Celestia or Luna... or hell maybe even that Twilight Sprinkles, which who knows... one of them might actually be the culprit. Till than... all I could blame was myself.
Though, judging by what I heard in my comatose state yesterday... it sounds more like I drove into her. Which fuck I hope I did! If that’s really how she got that black eye, I’ll be ashamed if that’s all I did to her, better yet I better have broken one of her ribs! Now that may sound harsh. Yes, she does seem like she’s trying to help me... but something about her just doesn't seem right. She appears to be off, unsure of what she’s really doing. Like a kid who found an injured baby bird and tries to help it but ends of dropping it cause the bird lashed out when he picked it up, and only ends up making it worse.
Also, her story and how quickly she answered my questions. She’s obviously hiding something, literally it was written all over her face. Her expressions, the way she kept eye contact which would've usually fooled me, but then she ruffled her wings. Like she was uncomfortable about something, now I don’t know much about their culture or how to distinguish their emotions by body movement, but I’ve been a father for more than six years, I can see a lie when I see it. Also speaking to her, I've been seeing some red flags and I’m pretty sure that means she’s uncomfortable.
But could that have just been her being uncomfortable around me? Which could be possible yes, being around something or someone you've never seen before and trying to hold a casual conversation with them can make one feel uneasy at times, but... then again she is a ruler of an entire nation not mention immortal. So she probably deals or dealt with creatures she possibly hasn't seen before and probably would've just grown accustomed to it over time. So why would I discomfort her?
I nodded my head once again as I rounded a corner that led into a large central hallway which had a large red carpet on the floor that came to and from two large closed doors on the far end of the hall, and led all the way to a set of stairs to my left. The stairs divided into two sets that each went in their own opposing directions on the upper half of the staircase, and on each side of them where a pair of golden armored ponies. Both had a set of gold eyes and a dark grey coat, judging by the horn that jutted out of their heads I could only guess that they’re unicorns.
My stomach growled, I haven’t eaten any breakfast yet. Odd, seeing that I didn’t eat the raw fish last night, I’m surprised I’m not sick from lack of nutrition. I decided to turn away from the guards and head to the dining room, only to stop myself at the realization that... I don’t know where the dining room is.
“Maybe I’ve shouldn’t have crumpled up that letter...” I scolded myself.
Rolling my eyes at my own incompetence, I should've have paid attention to the direction that we were heading in last night. I pivoted my body around so that I was once again facing the guards. “Okay,” I mumbled to myself. “Gotta stay in character and hope this plays out okay.”
I fixed my new bowtie and took my first step towards the guards. “I do say gentlemen...” I nearly cringed at the hideous accent that I just forced my own vocal cords to create. “I am feeling quite famished, and I’m afraid I can’t find the dining roooom...” I said with my horrifyingly fake snobbish accent, that probably make every Englishman highly offended. I slurred my last word and clutched my stomach, looking at the highly confused and slightly terrified guards. I raised an eyebrow and said, “What?” In my normal tone.
As if my question seemed to have snapped them out of their frozen stature, both of the guard’s horns flared to life and they took a fighting stance. A VERY serious looked crossed their faces! I quickly leaned away from the guards and brought my hands up to my face, flinching like a little girl I asked completely out of character, “Oh, Jesus, what did I do?!”
“In the name of Princess Celestia,” The right guard said sounding as if he was gurgling his own saliva as he spoke. “You’re under arrest for trespassing on royal grounds!”
“Trespassing?! What the fuck? I work here!” I said and kinda lied.
“Did we say you can speak infiltrator?” The other guard spoke, he too sounding like he was gurgling his own spit. Damn these two sound like they could be twins, shit they even look exactly the same. Not only can they change sexs at will... can they clone too? Man an army of cloned soldiers... huh reminds of St–
Dammit! Now is not the time to think about a shitty movie, RUN! Turning away I bolted as fast as I could away from the two, but to my availed dismay a swift flash of light caught my eye and suddenly one of the soldiers were right in front of me?! Like seriously what the fuck, these horses can teleport too? I thought only higher beings could do that?!
I jammed my heels into the marble floor halting myself right before my face could even make friends with the unicorn’s golden armor. Raising both my hands upwards I got ready to defend myself, even though it’d be useless as all hell. What am I going to do? Back hand them across the snout? Like that’d do anythin--!!
The guard’s horn lit up like a bright fluorescent bulb, which literally started the living crap out of me, and like I’d just stated I swung out with my hand and backhanded that bastard across the snout. Though to my astonishment the lad fell over yelping and sniffling as if he was suffering from a cold, similar to how a dog would when you bop him on the nose for chewing on the leg of your end table.
The wounded guard pawed at his nostrils with his forelegs glancing back at the other guard looking to his comrade in pure horror. Then he looked at me as if I casted some type of spell or something, for Godsake! I should be the one worrying here! Though seriously these men are trained professionals, I should be dead right n.... Who the hell am I to be the one complaining about a good thing?!
The guard’s gaze drifted back to his friend, who was now beginning to clamber back onto his hooves, only to come back and meet my eyes. His brow furrowed and the tip of his horn began to sizzle, an ever growing fear began to form in my chest.
Whelp, I lived a good life. At least Alice and Grace’s assumptions will now be confirmed. The armored stallion lowered his head and fired a beam of pure energy right at me, I cried out like a scared child and raised my hands to the point that I was now covering my face. I jammed my eyes shut, not wanting to see myself be blown to oblivion. The world seemed to slow down as if this was some type of epic scene in the Matrix or something, and as it did I began to see flashes of my childhood.
All the way from birth... to now like a slideshow set on fast forward to the point that you can’t even comprehend what you’re even seeing. Instead all you see is a blur skimming past your eyes, and you feel nauseated and all you want to do is just vomit your last meal. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like watching your life flash before your eyes? Well shit if it is... I want a refund, because not much really happened.
All the way from birth... to now like a slideshow set on fast forward to the point that you can’t even comprehend what you’re even seeing. Instead all you see is a blur skimming past your eyes, and you feel nauseated and all you want to do is just vomit your last meal. Is this what it’s supposed to feel like watching your life flash before your eyes? Well shit if it is... I want a refund, because not much really happened.
I stood there my right knee raised all the way up to my chest, my hands covered my cowering face. I was frozen. At least it felt that way, all was still and around me was this eerie silence, but as the seconds ticked away on a nearby clock that sent the only waves of sound reverberating around the room, I began to ask myself. 'Am I really dead?' But before I could confirm this suspicion I began to feel a ticklish feeling near the spot I was shot. Not the feeling that makes you giggle and snort like a kid experiencing blueberries. Instead it was the kind of feeling that annoyed the shit out of you! The feeling that you get when you scratch a spot on your arm, only to have it return seconds later with a vengeance!
I opened my eyes, not much to see. Mostly because I forgot to lower my hands, so that’s what I did. There wasn’t a change, no passing or any significant difference. Save for that strange feeling I had, and the completely horrified look on the face of the guard that just shot me. Confused I decided to face my fears and take a gander at my supposed wound... and there was nothing there except for a small shimmer, but as time passed the shimmer began to dissipate along with any type of fear I once held on inside.
Whatever just happened must of been a good thing, well obviously. If my assumption is correct that unicorn most of fired a magical blast at me, and like Celestia said I absorb magic... well at least most types of magic. This one just happened to be a lucky kind I guess. So I stood there with the biggest shit eating grin I could muster, and without a single word I gave quick little wave to the guards before turning and bolting in the opposite direction back to where I came.
:[-]:
My dress shoes rhythmically clicked along as they made contact with the marble floor as I ran through empty corridor after empty corridor. With each corner I rounded I began to feel an unnerving feeling of suspense creeping in the pit of my stomach. Moments ago after I left the two dumbstruck guards, I heard the sound of an alarm blare throughout the castle, as a large bell in a tower swung back and forth. Sending a shiver down my spine with each dong.
Around the castle I could hear the sound of soldiers scrambling to their positions. Looking for me, trying to figure out where I went, and how I could be stopped. Fresh sweat began to trickle down the side of my head, for some reason I felt intolerably hot. I rested up against the wall right on the corner of a T shaped hallway, my back eased it’s way down until I was sitting. My left leg stretched out and my right arm resting on my right knee. My head swung back rest against the wall so that my eyes were gazing up at the golden sparkling chandelier above me.
The one day I get permission to have a whole day to myself. I get found out within the first five minutes I step out of my room. Chuckling nervously I reach into my shirt to grab my necklace just so I could have something to fiddle with while trying to calm my nerves... IT'S NOT THERE! My eyes widened and quickly I began to pat around my pockets, fear beginning to envelope me. Where could it have gone?! How could I lose something that was supposed to be my only form of safety?!
I got up and checked my spot, could it have fallen off? No, that’s impossible I would've noticed. I thought back to last night, what did I do with it? I distinctly remember barging into my room fumed beyond control, after I got dressed I took my necklace and flung it onto... the... table... oh... oh no!
I shot back onto my feet. “I’m telling you, mares, it went this way!” Barked another from my right.
“Come on you, wimps, it’s this way!” Another came from the third and final hallway around the corner in front of me.
My eyes widened in horror as I came to realization that I was completely surrounded. There’s nowhere to go, I was screwed, complete and utterly screwed! There was no escape! I’m literally going to die by a bunch of horses with spears and swords... well that’s a really fucked up way to go!
My heart rate increased, and I began to panic. Irrational thoughts quickly began to course through my mind, what if I were to just barge right through them? No, no that wouldn’t work, you may be able to survive magic, but not dozens of bloody arrows ripping into your chest, but what if I were to jump out a window? There aren’t any windows you twit! Maybe I could scale a wall or something– what the hell do you mean scale a wall–wait a second...
My eyes drifted towards a large painting I hadn’t noticed before. Right across from me, a large ten foot painting of Celestia was mounted on the wall. It wasn’t really anything special, the painting was Celestia sitting by a fireplace along side her sister both looking happy and sharing a nice chat. But that wasn’t what caught my eye. No, what caught my eye was the large purple curtains that were draped around the frame. A crazed solution came to my mind. If I couldn’t go left, right, or even freaking straight. The only plan of escape was to go up.
I quickly scrambled to my feet and jogged towards the massive painting. Grasping onto the fabric I used all my man power to hoist myself upwards, now if only one good thing came out of high school besides my diploma. Was my rope climbing in phys ed, which was probably the only skill I had besides running. Planting my feet flat up against the stone I began my attempt to walk up the wall...
Which was a bad idea.
After I took the first step upwards, I heard a small metallic clink noise. Which instantly I knew was bad, because a large portion of the fabric gave way and I nearly fell about six feet due to my weight. Luckily though I wasn’t injured, nor did all of the fabric fall off allowing me to continue my way up.
I could hear the guards coming closer, and I needed to work fast. I pushed myself even further, the muscles in my arms began to ache. As I climbed the jumbled up voices of the angry guards began to grow increasingly louder as time clicked by. I neared the top of the frame of the monstrous painting. I reached outward with my right hand and once my fingers were tightly clenched around the tight wooden frame, I noticed that I was still in a rather noticeable position. Heart pounding fast I began to panic once more, frantically I looked around for something I can climb into. Maybe a ventilation shaft of some sorts, something that could provide cover from those hate filled eyes of the guards.
The crackling of flames caught my attention, tightening my grip on the frame of the painting. I turned my torso around so that I was hanging off the wall by me left arm, the pinching pain of having to hold myself up nearly became unendurable. Merely five feet away from me I could see the hanging gold chandelier from before. Each flame was encased in a small glass bulb which kept the excess gas from leaking out into the air.
I swallowed the lump in my throat, if I was able to hide without getting caught this would be my chance. But before I jumped another thought came to mind, could the chandelier even support my weight? What if it were to fall and–
Before I could even make a decision my second thoughts were hastily discarded by the voices of the guards. Their shadows now coming into view, I couldn’t risk getting caught, biting my lip I pushed off with my legs and leapt towards the golden light source! My chest slammed into base of the chandelier, arms quickly clenched around the chains above legs flailing bellow. Sweat began flow down my face, the heat of the lamps roasting my cheeks.
“I’m telling you guys it went this way,” Said a young royal guard pony.. Quickly I glanced to the left, a small hoof came around the corner along with six others, silently cursing I used the last of my strength to hoist myself up.
“We’ve been heading this way for minutes,” Said a deeper irritated pony. “If it really went this way, Flash, we would’ve caught up to it by now.”
“Maybe it hid in one of the–” The younger sounding boy started, only to be interrupted by what I can only assume to be his superior.
“We’ve been searching every room we have come across and thus far we’ve found nothing.” The superior grumbled as a squad of six or more guards entered the corridor, all with similar looking features save for one in particular whose coat was a distinctly bright orange. While the others had black grey coats; nervous of being caught I tightened my grip around the chain and pulled myself up further to the point in which I was standing on the outer rim.
“In all my forty-years of working on the force, Flash. You are the first incompetent transfer I have ever come across...” Said the oldest and darkest guards of them all.
The chandelier began to tip the metal creaked with every inch. My fear of being discovered rose, my mind racing for a solution. With instinct kicking in I placed my leg on the opposite side of the rim, distributing an equal amount of weight on each side balancing it.
Below me came the clopping of hooves besides that, there was only silence. They must’ve not heard me, I released a sigh of relief. I was safe for now, all I need to do is–
“I say, did any of you colts hear that?” Said a strangely English sounding guard.
My heart nearly stopped; the sweat that made it’s way down my face began to drip onto the floor. With every drop that raced it’s way down my cheeks I could feel every ounce of confidence of escape slip with it.
“Huh?!” A startled voice ranged.
“What is it, Sentry?” Asked another, I couldn’t see them. They must’ve been right below me, now if only they could just go a bit more than I’d be in the clearing.
“Something dripped onto my forehead, sir.” My heart sank like the Titanic, whelp my life is over.
“Well out with it, son. What is it?” Asked the superior.
“It smells of sweat, sir.” He replied.
“Sweat...?” Another guard echoed as he trailed off into silence, only to be broken by a few loud sniffs. “Now that you mention it, this entire corridor smells of sweat.”
My fear of being caught skyrocketed through the ceiling, I needed to get out of here! If they’re under me, I could probably jump off and–who the Hell am I trying to kid? I’m a good twelve feet off the ground I might sprain my ankle or maybe even break it. But even then I might still be able to make it back to my room and get that necklace before I’m caught and killed.
You know what, screw it! Might as well go out with a bang! With my new solid plan that possibly couldn’t fail, I needed to figure out where exactly my pressures were. So I did the smartest thing that came to mind, I leant my body over to the side. Hoping to get a clear view below... there just below me were six guards all of which stood there discussing.
As I watched I felt yet another trickle of sweat gently glide it’s way down to the bridge of my nose. My eyes widened, begging in my mind not for it to fall. But it was inevitable, at least it was until I released my grip on one of the chains to swat it off.
.....
You know... everyone has that one moment in their life when he or she performs something stupid. And I’m talking about the moments that are so stupid, so bizarre that the entire world acknowledges what you did and forces you to observe your stupidity by watching it in slow motion. So I did, I watched as my hand slowly came to my face to swipe off that bead of sweat. But as it did so, I felt a shift in the chandelier’s weight I could feel through my right hand the entire decoration tilt sharply to the left.
The chain that held it up jolted down wards and instantly shoot back up like a bungee cord due to it no longer being able to support my weight. I watched in slowmo as small amounts of dust fell from the ceiling because of the newly formed cracks around the chain. With my fear filled eyes I watched as each and every particle of dust drift peacefully past my face and down to the alerted guards below.
Their eyes now mere dots glared at me and the now crumbling apart chandelier. As the seconds ticked by I stood there on the golden light source trapped in a staring contest with the six guards below. Time began to pick back up to it’s normal pace; my heart pounding dangerously in my chest as we gazed into each other’s eyes.
So much for an escape plan, I sighed defeatedly. But at least I’m up here and they’re–
Suddenly, the chain snapped and gravity took back over and I plummeted back to earth. “Dive!” The guards shouted right before jumping out of the way.
Screaming like a girl I was quickly cut off by the loud crash and myself being thrown head over heels forward. Landing on my back with a painful thud I groaned in pain, shoving myself back onto my belly. Arms sore I pushed myself onto one knee, the sound of a sword being unsheathed caught me by the ear, remembering that I was surrounded by a squad of angry soldiers. I clambered back onto my feet away from the guards.
I turned to face the six ponies, among them were a mixture of fear and angered expressions. “You know,” I nervously said raising a hand. “How about we talk about this guys–”
“Quiet you,” snapped the oldest looking pony, a dark grey unicorn a with near pitch black mane and nasty pink scar that ran across his right eye approached me. His sword drawn and aimed right at me. “What are you? Some kind of Changeling? How did you get in here?!”
“Change–what?” I backed away as the guard got closer.
I needed a way to get away from here, come on Lee think! Think man, what do you have on you? My right hand drifted towards my pocket, my eyes locked on the angry colt his sword getting dangerously close to my face. My hand entered my pocket my fingers touching leather, well now I have my wallet. But how is that going to help me in a time like this... my eyes darted left and right. I was now at the tip of the T hallway my back inches away from touching the wall. Well fuck! I guess I’m going to have to improvise!
Go along with whatever the Hell my mind first came up with, I flashed my wallet out so that I was showing the six ponies my Driver’s License. “Stop right there!” I shouted trying to hide my obvious fear with a sense of insanity. The pony’s eyes widened and actually stopped in his spot. “This–” I motioned with my eyes towards the card “– this here is a very intricate device.” I said using my best impression of Jack Nicholson’s Joker.
The pony’s eyes narrowed and he took a step forward, but I jumped back a near psychotic smile pierced my lips, as I slowly slipped into character of Nicholson’s Joker. “Ahaha! I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” I chuckled sinisterly.
“Why is that?” The dark pony grumbled.
“In this device,” I raised an eyebrow and shook the wallet. “Contains a series of chemicals that would plague this entire castle.” I flashed them my canines.
“You’re insane!” Shouted flabbergasted guard in the back who was falling for my plainly obvious white lie. “You’ll kill us all!”
“He’s clearly bluffing!” Said the English guard.
I glared at him my smile stretching out even farther. “That’s the joke,” I said before darting to the left laughing maniacally.
Silence... fell over the guards.
The six ponies stood there puzzled. “Buccaneer,” Flash looked at the older grey unicorn. “What just... happened?”
“Honestly, son...” Buccaneer took his helmet off and wiped the sweat off his brow. “In all my forty-six years of being on the force... I have not a single clue.”
The English colt glared at the two of them angrily. “Are you two bloody serious?! It’s getting away! Get on it, lads!”
To be Continued