*Despite the cover art this is not a human turned into a pony story.*
On his way to a meeting in the next town over, Lee James Harrison almost gets thrown off a snowy mid December road by a speeding pick up truck. After he was able to successfully evade said truck, he noticed something rather peculiar out of the corner of his eye right before he slammed into it and drove into a nearby ditch.
Waking up in a bed in a strange room, Lee Harrison finds himself torn from his family life and placed into a new life as a butler, working for a ruler of a species he's never seen before.
Cover art drawn by myself, digitized by RandomReader-001
Beginning Chapters and so on edited by: Bruceman360
*Character tags will be added as the story progresses*
Chapters (11)
A different twist on the HiE, I do hope that he will get back to his family and of course find out what the heck is going on.
he should be in a hospital even if he's in Equestria or Canterlot. There's no reason to assume the princesses know the latest medical magics; knowledge changes over time, and even if you have infinite time, you can only keep track of so much of it. If the princesses put some kind of illusion spell around Lee and kept him from a normal hospital, which is likely given what he heard them talking about and his name "Gun Rose", then I've lost a lot of respect for them in this story, and I do not think they should be running anything, let alone an entire country.
"I was looking at the horse that went up to about the middle half of my chest" That's huge for MLP horses. Considering the sizes of other objects they regularly interact with, that means almost everything in their world is huge compared to ours.
What kind of human name is "Shimmering Grace". :p
3542640 You do know it's the first chapter right, not trying to be rude. But judging a story only on it's first chapter (especially a 1st person story) isn't a good thing to do. Reason why is not all of the information has been laid out for you yet, if it was then that's just info dumping and it makes a story look bad. Hell even though the main character has no idea what the hell is going on. There are still questions that need to be answered, and those questions will not be answered till later on.
Also the name Shimmering Grace is the pony's name, if you look back at the prologue his daughter is named "Grace" now compare the two, Grace and Shimmering Grace, can you point out the similar qualities. I know I can.
Wait... is this story about Celestia and Luna kidnapping a dude and deciding to make him their personal manservant?!
Not cool, alicorns. Not cool.
I found it, I read it, I like it. So, go on and write more... PLEASE!!! (Big puppy eyes make
)
3542640
Hopefully it will all cleared in the next chapters.
To the size question: We dont know if the objects in the show are in 1:1 size. So we cant say which size the Ponys are.
"Shimmering Grace" is a normal Pony name^^
3542661
Actually, it's a great idea to judge a story based on the first chapter. There are billions of stories out there, so why should I read something I don't like?
All the information isn't important if I find I don't actually like the main character (this one's decent), or if the author doesn't construct an interesting, comfortable, or otherwise desirable scenario. Right now, the scenario is somewhat interesting, but those two things I mentioned are pet peeves for me, and detract from it.
And I was just having fun with the "Shimmering Grace" part.
3542699
True, but given their maneuverability, the objects they interact with, and everything else I've seen, my mind places them at around the same size as large dogs, and about the same weight as some (non-american) humans. Saying that they're different sizes throws some physics out the window, because if you changed their sizes even slightly, they would function very differently. For instance: football players, backetball players, and sprinters tend to be very large in size, while endurance runners or cyclists tend to be much smaller in size.
For the "Sonic Rainboom" effect, I just think they either have a much slower speed of sound, or there is a magic barrier just like there is a sound barrier.
3542704 I understand your point perfectly, and if it was a 3rd person story. I would defiantly agree with you, but with 1st person aspect implied into this. It's what develops the mystery and I apologize for sounding like I dick. It's just how I am when it comes to things like that, well I hope I'll be able to clear things up for you in the on coming chapters.
3542724
... No offense but, you know, you are talking about LOGIC in a show with colorfull, talking, flying and magic using Ponys.
And don't forget about what... whatever it is that Pinkie Pie is doing.
Sky Hooves: "AAH! Pinkie! Stop to jumping from behind me!"
Sky Hooves: "It's OK Pinkie. You just got me startled a bit. So dont do it again please. Exception on Nightmare Night."
Sky Hooves: "Pinkie..."
Sky Hooves: "You write already..."
Sky Hooves: (Turns his head to ArtichokeLust) I think you see what I mean^^
3542763
But Pinkie's one of the characters that make the most sense to me.
She uses mnemonics to remember everypony's Birth date, name, address, and anything else she thinks is important. She trusts her friends too much to suspect them of anything (most of the time), which is why her friends can make her look silly. She's might never have had much formal teaching, but would have learnt a lot when with the cakes. She constantly makes jokes to make everypony smile, and gains joy from keeping spirits up. And her "breaking the fourth wall", at least in the show, is never central to the plot, and even if you decide to take those in to account, they still could have happened by coincidence and by her silliness.
Physically, she is likely incredibly fast, since she has outraced Rainbow Dash multiple times. The only thing that might not make sense is her ability to eat sugar, and even then, you could answer that with an alien form of digestion.
derpicdn.net/img/view/2013/8/9/395375__safe_solo_pinkie+pie_animated_running_the+super+speedy+cider+squeezy+6000.gif
I don't see any problem with applying logic to a show with colorful, talking, flying ponies, especially if they use magic.
3542837
DAMN! I'm nearly out of words.
But one thing I have to ask: What you say about her "Pinkie-Sense"?
3542890>>3542837 *Le Gasp* Oh that is a tough question indeed... how are you going to reply to this one, ArtichokeLust?
fc04.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2013/127/1/3/thor_and_mlp_meme_for_fimfic_by_ponpheonix-d64fsvg.jpg
3542893>>3542890
My favorite theory is that Pinkie Pie is actually hyper intelligent, and her twitches are the result of her brain finishing background calculations on everything she's observed. I don't think we've seen anything where Pinkie's Pinkie sense warned her of anything she hasn't seen before, have we?
Then again, she could just be clairvoyant.
Or maybe when she was a foal, she fell into a pile of magnetic rock, particles of which got embedded into her skin, giving her inductance sensing. Or she just mutated and got that.
Or, this might be part of the magic that earth ponies have, which would be a sensor that the other races don't have, and Pinkie, being a rock farmer and a Pinkie, trained it to a much greater degree than most earth ponies.
Speculation is fun. I think if I found myself in Ponyville, the first thing I would do would be test everything... Pinkie Pie would probably hate me and my "field testing"
3542986
1) I agree with the theory with the Hyper Intelligent. But sometimes her body reacted without her seeing it. Like the one scene in the Mare Do Well with the Flower Pott by the end. She couldn't see it but the twitching was there. The same in the Episode where Twilight was testing the Pinkie-Sense and Spike opened the Door. She couldn't see that.
2) Her be a clairvoyant is possible. But Pinkie herself said, that has nothing to do with her Pinkie-Sense. And she only sees the next Birthday Gift for her friends.
3) ...I just say nothing to this.
4) When it is something Earth Ponys have, why has no other earth Ponys this... Power?
5) I would help you with your "reasearch"
I love it so far! It's a new take on the HiE concept, and the writing is just good. Definitely following this story.
I am certainly looking forward to Mr. Lee James "Gun Rose" Harrison's next part of his adventure. No rush though.
The story so far is interresting, curious to see where it goes.
OK. Not bad, but let me tell you what you're doing wrong. You're writing the action as if it's happening now but everything is in past tense. So you're writing for 1st person present tense, but in past tense. Here's how I look at it: if you want 1st/past, the story should read as though the narrator is sitting next to you at a bar and recanting a story of their life.
If you want 1st/present, the story should read just like you have it now, except in present tense.
As it is now, the action can (and has already) literally halt the narration (the narrator's flow of thoughts), and that's a dead giveaway that this should be present tense.
3542661 Now this guy might have jumped the gun about the hospital crap, but first impressions are everything. And there's honestly nothing particularly special about 1st person. It merely takes its own set of rules, just as 3rd person has its own rules. 3rd person could just as easily develop mystery and suspense in the exact same manner.
3544830 Thanks for the advice (I always had the problem of keeping a story present/past) I'll try my best to keep my story on the right track.
3542681
Err... did you read the story? Nowhere did it say that the Princesses took him, if anything sounds like he nearly ran over one of them
I like this, so here's a Mega Gengar…
serebii.net/xy/pokemon/094-m.png
I'm only assuming the princesses used some sort of magic, illusion mixed with memory, to make the ponies think that Lee is a pony named Gun Rose…
Well, anyways, you got my up vote!
Guns n Roses.
Finally.
Human turned pony.
So... Celestia and Luna are kidnapping, mind wiping, memory warping, perception deceiving, slavers?
I saw you were looking for an editor. I'd be happy to help!
3546498 That'd be great, I'll let you know whenever I'm in need of any assistance.
3546419 Your questions will be answered in time.
3546011 Why thank you, they are quiet clever aren't they?
I'm sorry but I cannot resist putting this up:
Interesting...
Story is a bit... confusing, slightly, but I've done that to my readers too, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt.
3546505
I'ma just assume they're slavers until I get more information.
3546195
No, he's still human, just everypony that looks at him will see a pony.
3547121 Very...
Very interesting. Fav and like.
When i heard the world "Butler" this came at my mind:
oneirosia.files.wordpress.com/2010/07/yes-my-lord.png
3547841 Don't go putting words in my mouth! I said 'interesting' and I meant 'interesting'. If I had meant 'very interesting', I would have said 'very interesting'.
I said what I meant and I meant what I said!
Looks like Lee just got welcomed to the jungle...
3548056 Oh you're not the only one, my three friends who pre-read this to see if this was a good fic idea thought the same thing.
Maybe the white thing he saw was Celestia or somepony else...you never know
Anyways, I love the start of this, I recommend more chapters! Can't wait for another update!! 
God damn it... when I read the title I thought we were gonna have a real butler in Equestria. I was thinking of the most british of British Butlers, the unflappable Alfred!
I bet this is all happening inside the guy's head. I hope not. That would be boring.
~Have a good one.
3549957
I'm British, can I get some love?
Why do I keep thinking of Slenderman?
3550443 I think it's the butler outfit
Are you making them (ponies) unusually big in this fic, he's a "midget", or should I bring the chart again?
th06.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/f/2012/179/d/0/my_little_pony___how_____little______by_eagle1division-d556k0u.png
Noticed a mistake
That should probably be definitely. Other than that all seems good, can't wait 'till the next chapter, so many questions and not enough answers!
3551387
Except that there is no basis for any of the info in that. How do they know the candy cane is 8 feet? Also, what is to say pony standards for a "foot" are the same as a human? After all, they have hooves, not human "feet," that are shorter than ours. Also, magical, colourful, talking ponies. I think the author has the right to make them any size they want. Heck, in the Leroverse/Xenoverse, Pony heads come to about the sternum if I remember correctly.
And if we are to go by 8 human feet for the candy cane, I just did the math myself using more exact pixel counts from that picture. Scootaloo is leaning back and down a bit there, making her look shorter. After recalculating her height, it is 2.5 feet. Recalculating to Rarity, Rarity is 3.8 feet. Then, ignoring the Viridian Man on the side, recalculated Celestia's height to 6.5 feet. To compare to a person, 3.8 feet WOULD be around the middle of the torso of the average 5.5-6 foot tall man. We are not talking eye level, we are talking top of head.
EDIT: Correction, 3.8 feet would line up with the belly button of the Viridian Man at 6.1 feet. And if our protagonist—who we do not yet know the height of—is 5.5 feet tall, that puts the top of her head midway between the belly button and the base of his pecs. So Increasing the scale slightly is a piddly little change.
Personally, I feel my only gripe with the fic at the moment is punctuation and grammar in certain areas. May go back and look it over for you sometime if you like.
3551822 Because Twilight said that herself (S02E11 - 00:00:52).
) was a bit taller than him, so excluding his thighs, she would be a bit smaller, while her head was more on the human size vertically (hand to head correlation). With the Shimmer scene, he had to kneel to have his eyes on hers level (which fits this chart) and with strangulation scene, she had her hind hooves on ground and was shorter than him while standing upright (which fits as well more or less). So using logical proportions, all fits with the chart.
Screenwriters obviously wanted real life units, that's why they used feet, not "hooves". Stupid imperial system; with SI there would be no such problems.
I didn't said he "have no right" to make them as tall as he wants. I literally asked him if that was his intention, or does he made a mistake. I even asked "should I bring the chart again", because he did that same mistake in his other story (Lazarus), where he made them as tall (or even taller) than here. He later fixed that on occasion of rewrite of one of the first chapters.
I finished reading Xenophile yesterday, and while ponies there were a bit more on the realistic side and had different proportions, they still fit to that chart. RD while sitting on his "lap" (
And one more time: I asked if that was his intention or a mistake.
3551387 Lee is rather short, which is a joke stated in the next chapter. Lee is about 5.2, 5.4 (Feet) which is about my height.
3552020 Oh, okay. That's what I wanted to know. Thanks.
3551991
And you are right, they do fit better than that chart seemed to illustrate (for me). I was also unaware Twilight outright said so, couldn't remember it (need to re-watch everything, it's been so long). I also think I have a habit of imagining the scale of ponies differently than authors usually even portray them, either as roughly the same size as a human, or small enough that the princesses are roughly the same size.
I apologize if I came across as rude before; looking back, it seems as though I were slightly attacking you. I assure you that was not the case, I was rushing out the door and consequently rushing the comment.
And yes, imperial is annoying. Metric is the system I know.
EDIT: I also wasn't trying to make it sound like you said he didn't have the right, I was mostly just. . . Yeah, I dunno. I can't remember where that came from. And I was unaware he did the same thing on Lazarus; I haven't read it.
TL;DR - it is safe to say my brain isn't firing on all cylinders today.