Vinyl and Octavia nodded to Natural Twenty, confirming that they were both prepared to start the game. Leaning forwards, he grinned as he began to set up the scene that Vinyl and Octavia’s characters found themselves in.
“The two of you are – well, yourselves, I suppose. After having won a competition, the two of you have found yourselves in a place you thought you would never visit – the Amarezon Jungle.”
Octavia and Vinyl gave each other a look before turning back to Natural Twenty as he continued speaking.
“After a day or two of exploring the safer parts of the jungle whilst within a tourist group, the two of you find yourselves heading down a river by canoe. But suddenly, disaster strikes! Within moments of paddling off, the current carries the two of you away from the tourist – is something wrong?” Natural Twenty asked, noticing grimaces from both Vinyl and Octavia.
“Natural Twenty… where did you get the idea for this campaign?” Octavia asked.
“Recently I began reading an excellent novel about two mares making their way through the jungle,” Natural Twenty explained. “The author, Exposition, is one of my favourites. One of the mares reminded me of you, Octavia, and the other sounded somewhat similar to Vinyl Scratch given your description of her-”
“Gee, I wonder why,” muttered Vinyl.
“- so I thought that it would be a fun idea to start a campaign based upon this story. Is that a problem?” he asked.
Octavia grimaced. The book that Natural Twenty was speaking of was based upon the adventure that she and Vinyl had had which led to the two being friends. Exposition had coincidentally met the two ponies on a holiday and, after hearing about their adventure, had conducted a brief interview which she based the book on. Octavia had eventually acquired a copy of the book and considered the whole thing to be incredibly inaccurate and dull.
“Let’s just say that that would not be my preferred campaign to play,” Octavia said, answering Natural Twenty’s question.
“Hmm…well, that is something of a bother,” Natural Twenty said. After a moment of thought, he said, “Well then, I’m currently running a campaign for another group of friends that is set on the high seas. What would you say to my appropriating some of that?” Vinyl and Octavia both pulled faces of disgust.
“I’ve had enough of pirates to last a lifetime, thanks,” said Vinyl.
“Well then… I have another campaign planned for a further group of friends,” Natural Twenty said after a further bit of thought. “It’s got a bit of an Eastern theme to it.”
“That sounds as though it could be fun,” Octavia said, perking up a bit. Vinyl nodded slowly as she thought it over.
“I’m hoping that it will be. I’m planning to have a lot of quests involving samurai play out – oh, and lots of ninjas, too, of course. Thousands of ninjas.”
As Vinyl facehoofed, Octavia said, “You know what? Let us simply go with the jungle campaign after all. I am sure that it cannot be that bad.”
“If you insist,” said Natural Twenty. “Now, as I was saying, the two of you have become separated from your group after a wild current down a river. You are-”
“Wait a minute, we’re separated just like that?” interrupted Vinyl. “We don’t even get to – what’s it called? – make a saving through against being separated or whatever?”
“Now that Vinyl points it out, that is some fairly bad railroading,” said Octavia. “As she says, we should at least get a chance to not be separated from the group.”
“…Fine,” said Natural Twenty, not looking happy about the players already trying to take over the game. “Make a stunts check to save against the strong current.”
Octavia picked up one of her d20s and rolled it. “A seventeen!” she cried out. “Added to my stunts skill, that gives me… twenty-eight! Surely that should be effective against the current, Natural Twenty.”
Natural Twenty scowled at the die. “To be honest, I wasn’t expecting you to roll so well…” he said, thinking as hard as he could.
“Alright Octavia!” said Vinyl. “We managed to stay out of the jungle after all!”
There was a moment of silence, before Natural Twenty unexpectedly picked up a die and rolled it. “Whoops, looks like the current just got stronger. I suppose you got lost in the jungle after all,” he said. Octavia sighed.
“Oh well, it was worth a try,” she said. Vinyl, however, wasn’t giving in so easily.
“Hey! I can see that die from here!” she said. “You rolled a one!”
“No I didn’t,” Natural Twenty lied, quickly moving his natural twenty out of Vinyl’s line of sight.
“Yes you did!” Vinyl insisted. “How does rolling a one to – I dunno, increase the current – manage to succeed?”
“I was rolling to see whether the current would slow down,” Natural Twenty answered smoothly. “Rolling a one meant that it sped up immensely.”
“That’s bullshit and you know it!” Vinyl exclaimed, glaring daggers at Natural Twenty. Her gaze was only broken when Octavia lightly touched her on the forehoof.
“Vinyl, darling, the number one rule of roleplaying is that the Dungeon Master is always right,” she said. “If Natural Twenty wants us lost in the jungle, we’re lost.”
“Like hell,” Vinyl growled. “I still haven’t made my roll to save against the current yet.” Natural Twenty sighed.
“Fine, but I’m telling you now, you’ll need a rather large roll to –”
“Natural twenty!” Vinyl interrupted. “Looks like we’re not getting lost after all!” Sure enough, her blue and white die had a twenty facing the ceiling.
“…Nice roll,” said Natural Twenty after a moment of stunned silence. “I suppose that you – whoops!” In a pathetically obvious ‘slip’, Natural Twenty had grabbed his d20 and thrown it over his shoulder, so that it was behind the armchair he was sitting in. “Excuse me a moment whilst I grab that.” He disappeared behind the armchair. “Well, would you look at that!” he called out. “I too rolled a natural twenty, and so it appears that your roll does nothing, Vinyl.” He reappeared and re-seated himself a moment later.
“Oh, that was a roll now, was it?” Vinyl asked.
“It was stylised,” claimed Natural Twenty.
Vinyl was about to contest the claim further when once more Octavia put a hoof onto her forehoof. “Vinyl, please just let it go. It was silly to try and go against Natural Twenty setting the campaign up from the start.”
“…Fine,” said Vinyl after a moment of consideration. She leaned over to Octavia and nuzzled her. “But only for you, not him,” she whispered. Octavia smiled.
“So anyway, Natural Twenty, after all of those distractions, what is happening?” she asked as Vinyl Scratch stopped nuzzling her.
“Well, as a result of the current increasing to be faster than I originally envisioned it, the two of you lost all of your possessions as you crashed your canoe,” said Natural Twenty. “A pity, really – if you hadn’t tried to save against the current you would have crashed before you could have lost them.”
Vinyl glared at Natural Twenty, but otherwise said nothing. Octavia cleared her throat, knowing better than to defy Natural Twenty. “Well then, can we at least look around for our possessions?” she asked.
“Naturally. Perception checks, both of you,” Natural Twenty commanded. The two ponies did as he asked.
“Oh dear,” Octavia said, looking at her pitiful five.
“You can say that again,” Vinyl agreed, cringing at her three.
“So, who rolled highest?” Natural Twenty asked, unable to see the dice from his position.
“With our perception skills added, we each rolled twelve,” Octavia said. “Do we see any of our possessions?”
“Unfortunately, they are scattered too far for either of you to find with rolls that low,” Natural Twenty said, shaking his head slightly.
“I cannot say that I was expecting anything else,” Octavia sighed.
“Anyway – the two of you are lost in an unknown part of the Amarezon, away from your tourist group,” Natural Twenty summed up. “You have no possessions, and neither of you have been here before. What do you wish to do?”
There was a moment of silence as the two mares considered their options. “Well, Vinyl,” Octavia started, turning to her marefriend, “what do you think of –”
“I leap onto Octavia and start humping her furiously!” Vinyl said enthusiastically. Both Octavia and Natural Twenty raised eyebrows. “What? Isn’t the point of the game to have fun? That’s fun!”
“Yes, but you should do things that would be in-character,” Octavia explained. “Are you saying that if we were lost in the Amarezon Jungle with no immediate means of escape, your first thought would be to have sex with me?”
“You saying that my first thought wouldn’t be?” Vinyl asked, grinning.
“Now that I think about it… at any rate, you cannot do that.”
“Actually, technically there’s nothing stopping her character from doing so,” Natural Twenty said. “Unless your character objects, Octavia?”
“…I never said that,” Octavia said, blushing slightly.
“Well then, in that case, you may start having sex with Octavia, Vinyl,” said Natural Twenty. “In-universe!” he added hastily as he saw the unicorn start to get up from her armchair.
“Right…do I have to roll a die or anything for that?” Vinyl asked.
“How about an endurance check?” Natural Twenty suggested. Vinyl did so.
“That’s a nineteen with my endurance skill added,” she said. “What does that mean?”
Natural Twenty wrote down something on a small notepad he had on his side of the table. “Good job, Vinyl. The two of you have sex for a decent amount of time, and are both very pleasured by the end of it!” He rolled a d20. “And in even better news, you didn’t attract any of the native wildlife with it!”
“Told ya stayin’ quiet for the neighbours would pay off,” Vinyl muttered to Octavia, who only proceeded to blush further.
“Well now Vinyl, you’ve successfully had sex with Octavia,” Natural Twenty declared. “What will you two do now?”
“Well, Vinyl, as I was saying, I think that we should –”
“That was sorta fun,” Vinyl interrupted again. “Can I have sex with Octavia again?”
Natural Twenty rolled his eyes. “If you must, but you’ll suffer a penalty to your endurance check, since I imagine your character would be at least somewhat worn out from the sex.”
“We talking physically or mentally?” Vinyl asked, picking up her d20 once more. “Because I’m telling you, Vinyl Scratch can go as long as she wants!”
“Vinyl, you are not having sex with my character again,” Octavia said, gently forcing the hoof of Vinyl’s that was holding the d20 down. “Instead, why not fly above the trees to try and see what the best way out of the jungle would be?”
“You can fly?!” Natural Twenty exclaimed. “How in Equestria does that work?”
“She has a very silly character sheet,” Octavia said before Vinyl could explain. “Now, are you going to fly and find the best route, Vinyl?”
“Sure, I guess that works,” agreed Vinyl.
“Roll a perception check for once you’re above the treetops,” instructed Natural Twenty. Vinyl obeyed.
“With my modifiers, twenty,” said Vinyl.
“Excellent roll, Vinyl,” complimented Natural Twenty. “Using your flight method, whatever it is, you ascend above the trees and hover in one spot for around a minute. Looking around, you notice two outstanding features of the jungle. To the north is what appears to be a large temple, black and monolithic. It rises above the tree tops menacingly, appearing to dare those who see it to enter it.”
Vinyl nodded. “And the other outstanding feature?”
“To the south, you think you recognise a gigantic tree where your tourist group was supposed to arrive at. If you arrive there swiftly enough, you may be able to re-join your group.” Smiling, Natural Twenty asked, “Which direction shall you head in?”
“Well, the smartest thing would be to head to the tree, I suppose,” Octavia said.
“Yeah. I’m sick of this jungle already, and this is where my character lost her virginity to Octavia’s!”
Natural Twenty raised an eyebrow. “…Are you sure you wouldn’t rather head for the temple?”
Vinyl snorted. “You kidding? Our characters would be stupid to head towards something that freaky looking.”
“Are you sure?” Natural Twenty asked, a hopeful look in his eyes. Both mares nodded. “…Fine then, in that case roll streetwise checks to ensure that you find your way to the tree successfully.”
Both mares did as he instructed. “Shit, I got a two,” Vinyl swore.
“I did not roll much better,” Octavia said, grimacing as she looked at her three.
“Oh, excellent!” said Natural Twenty. “It looks like both of your characters got lost and ended up at the temple after all! The doors are made of a heavy black stone, with steps leading up to them. There are two pits of fire -”
“Re-roll then?” Vinyl interrupted.
“…What?” Natural Twenty asked, dumbfounded.
“We can re-roll to try again, right?” Vinyl asked. “I mean, it’d be stupid of our characters to give up after that one go.”
“N-no, you can’t re-roll, because… because…” Natural Twenty thought hard. “Because even if you did get to the tree now, your tourist group will have moved on by now! You spent too long being lost!” His justification was met with two blank stares.
“Well, yeah, maybe, but it’s not like our tourist group is the only one that will go past that tree,” Vinyl said. “From how you described it, I imagine that it’d be a fairly notable landmark of the jungle.”
“And what’s more, if it’s in the part of the jungle that our tourist group is in, it surely must be safer than where we are now,” Octavia pointed out. “That alone is reason to head there.”
Curse my incredible world-building skills! thought Natural Twenty to himself. Once more I have been hoist by my own petard! Thinking quickly, he said to Octavia, “You make a decent point, but I believe that you are forgetting something.”
“Oh?”
“There is a possibility that the temple will have loot within it.” At the word loot, Octavia’s eyes widened, and her expression became slightly more giddy.
“Excellent point, Natural Twenty,” she said. “Vinyl, we’re going into the temple.”
“What? But wouldn’t you rather get out of the jungle?!” Vinyl exclaimed. “You were the one who said we should head to the tree!”
“That was then, this is now,” said Octavia. “I shall gallop up the stairs of the temple and search for a way to open the doors,” she said. “Natural Twenty, do I have to roll a perception check for that?”
He smirked. “Not at the moment – you have something more pressing on your hooves.”
“And what could be more pressing than finding loot?!” Octavia asked impatiently.
“Roll for initiative,” said Natural Twenty. “You’re about to be attacked.”