Out of my Element
Chapter 9: Baby Steps
I woke with a start my, arm, front leg, hoof whatever jerked as I pulled my mind to consciousness punching myself in the face. I drew back from the blow blinking, I was back in the hospital, it looked like the same room I had first woken up in. I looked out the window and discovered that at least according to the blurred view it was the same room. I sighed and muttered, "not again." Then I tried to move but something was wrong every part of my body below my neck felt heavy and the muscles felt like they were made of rubber. It took some effort and my fore leg moved again in a jerky manner flinging the blanket off the bed. "This isn't good," I said to no one in particular as I looked around for a call button. After several panicked moments I found a red button the size of a quarter labeled emergency, and quite a few frantic jabs at my target I eventually landed a blow.
I sat there for what seemed like an eternity contrary to the five minutes that the clock reported before a nurse walked in. Yellow with a blue mane, her name was Coldheart if I remembered correctly and when she walked in she said, "Good now that you're up we can get you out of here, you're taking up bed space needed for actually injured ponies." Once she started speaking I remembered why I thought her name was appropriate.
"Look I would like to but I think we have a problem, I can't control my movements very well."
She looked at me skeptically and said, "I'm sure it's just that you have been asleep for three days."
I looked around and realized the I had an IV in my unmoved arm and the thought of wild flailing with a needle in my arm made my stomach churn. "Can I get that taken out," I asked with what I hoped was a cooperative smile on my face.
"I don't know," she said eying me, "I'll go get the doctor, he's checking up on your two friends."
Rarity, I thought, I didn't block all of it, I felt my heart fall with these thoughts. Then I realized she said two, "Who was hurt?"
"A miss Rarity, has some radiant heat burns, similar to what you have but nothing life threatening, even for her vanity," she added the last part in a near mumble with rolling eyes. "The other is a miss Flash Bang, dear me those pegasi and there horrid names."
I gave her a blank look as I thought, Flash Bang, who, I've never met or even heard of someone with that name.
The nurse misread my blank look and said, "She's in stable condition but she was beaten fairly soundly by that ursa, the doctor is with her now. I'll go let him know you're awake." With that she turned and walked out of the room.
I furrowed my eyebrows tight as I tried to remember what happened three nights ago. I remember the dragon, and the fight, the feeling of every nerve ending in my body being alive, the exact opposite of now. I remembered, tingling on my flanks my mind hung up on this thought, it had to be the radiant heat burns but I looked anyway. I had a mark! I had one of those fool marks, what did they call them? Cutie marks? Yeah that was it, the term stuck on my pallet, I didn't like it but that's what they called it. It appeared to be a blue shield emblazoned with a red toothy gear over crossed blades, but on closer inspection the blades were tools one a wrench the other a screwdriver. I smiled to myself and thought, one step forward, one step back. I was almost normal here, but then I get turned into a flailing ninny. I sighed and let my head sink into the pillow, when you can't move except in a large jerky manner it's amazing how quickly you get uncomfortable. The doctor finally arrived twenty minutes after the nurse left, during that time all I could do was watch the clock and it felt like my sanity was slipping with each tick of the second hand.
"Hello Steel, how are you feeling today," he asked as he walked in holding a clipboard with magic.
"Hey, yeah I can't see without my glasses and I can't move particularly well right now, do you have any idea why?"
"On your glasses I have no clue where they are but I do have a few ideas on your movement issue. It could be because you're an earth pony who channeled magic. Most likely it could be because you have metal implants in your skull that look like they were placed by an amateur. It could also be because you caused an explosion centered a few meters from your face that flung a multi ton dragon into, not against, but into a cave wall."
"I get the Idea," I muttered wishing I still had the blanket to use as a shield, it was like being lectured by a disappointed father.
"Now let's do some tests, see how your reflex are that sort of thing, and once I'm done there are a few ponies in the hall that want to see you."
"Alright Doc, but since I'm awake can I get this IV taken out? I'm afraid I'm going to rip it out by accident," I nodded my head at the offending tubes as I spoke.
"No problem he said with a smile," the IV began to glow with the same energy that held the clipboard and the needle slid out of my fore leg. "Now I have to ask why you tried this," he gestured at the implants.
"Well you know I'm not from around here," I knew he knew this, he was my doctor from when I first arrived but it was a good place to start.
"Yes."
"And do you know what an opposable thumb and fingers are?"
"I'm no veterinarian but I did have to take some classes in non-pony biology, so yes. In fact there is an interesting question that has been brought up as to why ponies are the dominate family on the planet and not another with those features."
"Magic, it's magic that gave you a leg up on the competition, I could do so much with my hands that I can't do now or it takes a monumental effort to try. Have you ever tried to write with your mouth? Of course not you have magic." I could feel the edge in my voice it was sharp and I meant it to be, I knew it wasn't his fault but at that moment I didn't care.
"Easy Steel, we'll take a look at those implant's maybe we can come up with a way of making them less damaging. However first things first I want to check your reflexes so give me a leg."
It took some effort to get the leg moving and once it began to move there was no time to catch it, as it passed through it's travel arc. I swallowed, this was worse than I thought. The doctor walked back over having just dogged out of the way of my kick and pulled a reflex hammer out of his coat. He hit my elbow, I moved slightly which caused a frown to form on the doctors face, he tried again and got the same result causing his frown only worsened. After the third test I began to feel a dull distant throb of not quite pain from the joint in question.
"Okay, well why don't you try to stand, I'll lend you a helping hoof."
I smiled and nodded noticing the wavering tone of the doctors voice. I rolled off the bed as slowly as I could, it wasn't pretty but I landed on all fours and with the doctors help stood upright. I felt sick, it was like my body wasn't listening to my ear's, I had no balance. I was only standing because of the doctors help and when he let go my choices were fall down or try to walk forward. I chose to go into an undignified leg scattering stumble that ended at the door. I probably would have made it out the door had it opened the other way.
The doctor made a thinking noise and began to write on his pad as I lay on the floor a disgusted snarl on my face at the whole debacle. "Well Steel, it looks like you have a problem with your nervous system," he said still writing on his pad.
"Wow, did you need a degree to figure that one out?"
"Now Steel, I would like to do more tests before I make use of that degree. However more immediately I can give you two options for your locomotion, one I can put you in a wheelchair, or we do have a full body tension brace. Once it's set up you'll be able to keep you legs under you and it might give you some muscular control having something to push against."
Still unmoved on the floor I muttered, "I think I'll try the brace, that way I should be more independent," I finished the statement with a wry smile. After several attempts, and a little help from the doctor I was able to squirm my way out from in front of the door and over to a corner where I was able to lock myself into a sitting position against the wall.
"I'll have a brace brought up to you and a nurse come in to help you put it on. I would ask for an MMRI but since those are pieces of metal attached to your face I guess that's out. Lucky for you we have a CT machine. However I would like you to be able to stand for the scan resetting the machine for ponies who can't takes forever." He walked over to the door and asked
"would you like me to get an orderly to help you back into bed?"
"I'm good but could you send whoever is waiting outside in?"
"I don't think, I could keep them out."
As soon as he left Twilight, Rarity, and Rainbow Dash all came in along with a unicorn I halfway recognized. Rarity seemed to be in good shape all things considered. Her mane and Tail shorter than they had been the last time I had seen them and there ends where in ragged shape. Twilight had the crown with her and Rainbow Dash was smiling from ear to ear. The new unicorn had a white coat almost the same tone as Rarity. She had a short turquoise and purple mane and tail in a cut that looked like a tamed version of what Rainbow wore. I remembered her in flashes from after the dragon fight but that was all I didn't know her name but she looked me over like she was examining something.
"So how are you feeling," asked Twilight as she found a place to sit.
"At the moment stable, just don't ask me to move," I grumbled. Then I asked, "did any of you happen to grab my glasses when you saved me?"
Twilight smiled and said, "Rainbow picked them up," as she magically put the glasses on my face. Everything was in focus now and part of my stomach churning discomfort lessened.
Rainbow chose that moment to jump in my face and say, "That was so awesome when you knocked that dragon back, I mean the explosion knocked me out of the air but wow it was so cool, how did you do that."
I winced at her sudden appearance and it took all my willpower to suppress a jump that would have left me on the floor.
"Ah yes we would all like to know how you did that, the shield spell is a fairly easy spell and doesn't use that much magic even one that could block that dragons breath, but from what I've heard that used up more of the energy in the stones than the explosion. I'm not even sure how you created it but you also cast the shield a second time to block yourself and Rarity from it's shock wave." Twilight eyed me skeptically as she launched into several more questions almost faster than I could answer.
"Twilight forget that for now," began Rarity, "I want to thank you Steel for saving me from that Dragon."
It was a relief to not be answering the inquisition like questions of Twilight's mostly because I had no idea how I'd performed the spells. Looking at Rarity I replied, "it was my fault you were even there, I didn't need you there and all it did was put you in a dangerous position. I should be apologizing to you. I was there and I could do something about the danger that was it," I said with a stiff sigh, my body wouldn't let me collapse as I normally would have with that response. "Who's this," I asked looking at the other unicorn.
"This is Logia, she is an archaeologist looking into information on Star Swirl the Bearded for the princesses," said Twilight just as quickly and cheerfully as she said anything dealing with Celestia.
Logia gave a half-hearted smile and nodded,"I lost most of my expedition to an ursa major attack, I was running from it when I came across your group."
"So that pegasus the doctor was talking about was with you," I said as more of a statement than a question.
"Yeah Firestorm, that's another pegasus from our expedition, she's taken a group of royal guards and other Dressage members to the campsite to," she stopped talking, tears swelling in her eyes. "It was my first time to lead a dig, and," she couldn't finish a sentence. Every time she'd start half way through her voice would leave her and tears would flow freely.
It was another moment of pain in my heart and I forgot myself I wanted to comfort the mare but unfortunately my new found disability interfered. I took a step forward, quickly followed by another and another barely avoiding crashing into the new unicorn. Once again I found myself sprawled on the floor this time I at least ended up tangled in the blanket hanging off the side of the bed and it covered my face.
"What the hey was that," asked Rainbow Dash.
"Um, it's me not able to move right after," I began to mumble, "using magic." I kept my face covered but I could hear their concern in their voices.
"Oh my, does the doctor know how to fix this or when you'll get better," asked Rarity.
"He's bringing me a full body tension brace, he says they need to do a CT scan on me to find out."
I heard Rainbow fight back a laugh that came out as a snort, before saying, "a body brace that sucks," as she failed to hide the laughter behind her voice.
"Rainbow," I heard Twilight growl in an attempt to corral her friend, afterwards the pegasus was silent.
Almost immediately upon Rainbows silence came a knock at the door. A nurse, this one blue coat green mane came in carrying a duffel bag. She set it on the ground and said in a simple but firm tone, "If you stay it's because you're going to help me put this on him."
"Well bye then," said Rainbow as she left the room. The two unicorns that knew her starred with shocked expressions before she came back in laughing, "you really think I would just walk out on you like this?"
"Yes quite," muttered the nurse, "now can someone help him up."
I was pulled to my feet by magic, and placed standing on all four legs beside Rarity who helped me remain standing as did Logia. The nurse explained and showed the others how the brace was put together. First was a body harness, made from two slightly curved steel rods that ran down either side of my spine. The two rods were attached to each other by cross members and web strapping. Soon to be attached to the two spine rods was a mess of smaller rods and helical torsion springs. There were more torsion springs than I had joints but it was explained to me that they would be used for tension adjustments. After what felt like an eternity of being poked and prodded I eventually had the brace on completely. I could stand, it kept my legs from flailing about and after a bit I was able to calm down my inner ear. I had wanted to do that before I tried walking. While I waited I glanced at the clock and laughed, three eternities had passed in under two hours.
"Alright, you've got your balance, do you want to try walking," asked the nurse.
I nodded and took a cautious step, the delay of muscle movement was a little less than it had been before like my nerves were warming up. However my leg moved with the same amount of force but this time the springs limited the distance that it traveled. To go further I just applied more force, it wasn't pretty and it was jarring as all get out but it beat fumbling about on the floor.
"Good, you're doing very good", said the nurse over the encouragement cheers of my friends. "Now let's go for a walk around this floor, I want to make sure this is setup correctly for you."
I followed the nurse at a staggered gate through the loop that the floor's main hallway made. It was hard work but I could easily stay standing with this contraption. Best of all I could walk, I was slower than dirt but I was mobile. My muscles began to ache about halfway around the floor so I put my body on autopilot cutting my mind off from the pain. To continue pushing the ache out of my conscious mind I put it to work on how I could make the brace better. This task lead my thought process through several concepts but eventually it brought forth the mechanical arms and hands from my dream. As soon as I actively thought about the memories they arrived in flashes. The construction process, the schematics, everything I would need to build my own copies of the hands popped into my mind. "I guess this curse isn't all bad," I muttered to myself, I'd need more gems though.
"You're doing a good job," said the nurse with a friendly smile.
I jumped slightly, my neck jerked but none of my other parts responded to my surprise. My eyes spun from the head rush and lost focus. I only stayed standing because of the brace, once the world came back into focus I moaned, "Ow, I need to watch that."
"What's wrong," asked the nurse as she looked back with a concerned face.
I had quite a bit more control over my neck than the rest of my body, not as much as my head and face, but I at least could control for the most part how far my neck would move. I shook my head slowly trying to return my glasses to their seat as I said "I'm still not use to how jerky my body is now." There was a laugh behind me and I slowly looked back to see who it was. "Hi Rainbow," I grumbled at her with a glare through the off kilter glasses.
"Hi Steel," she replied failing to hide the laughter in her voice. She flew in close and pushed the glasses back on my face.
"Thank you," I said before looking away. I took a deep breath and started walking again. The nurse resumed leading and soon Rainbow was walking beside me. "Why are you following me," I asked, it was hard to be angry at the world when the world was nice back.
"We decided that someone should follow you and the unicorns wanted to talk so that left me," she said with a wave of a hoof and a smile.
"Ah," I said absently.
"Look Steel I wasn't laughing at you I was laughing at what you said, you're more jerky," the smile she wore was uneasy forced one.
I decided to accept her explanation and move on. An argument wouldn't solve anything and I didn't feel like having one for the fun of it. As I walked the muscle pain increased, becoming a dull throb in the distance of my consciousness. I gritted my teeth and began to search for anything to preoccupy my mind. Looking forward I saw the nurses flank and from somewhere in deep recesses on my mind a voice said, come on Steel you know that could keep you preoccupied for an hour or so. I shook my head trying to dislodge the thought and noticed that Rainbow was now staring out the windows as we passed. I looked out the next one to see what she found so fascinating. It might have been the pegasi dancing with the clouds in the sky, or maybe it she was looking over the town.
Eventually she asked, "Steel, are we going to be able to stop that thing? We've been able to stop Luna when Nightmare had her but, I don't think she was at full strength. Then there was Discord and he almost won. If Twilight hadn't read those letters from Celestia and I don't even think he was trying. Part of me doesn't want to think about it, and another can't help but to think on it."
"Honestly," I glanced at the pegasus, I could only see her saddened face from it's reflection on the window. "I have no idea, this is all so far outside my frame of reference that I've been left clueless and I'm guessing on most of it here."
"Oh well," she muttered still looking out the window, "I'm not going to run." When she looked back at me she realized she had spoken aloud. "I mean it," she said emphasizing her words. "It's not like I'm not afraid, you would have to be an idiot, or Pinkie to not be afraid." She looked back out the window and said, "I just can't leave them hanging."
Her convictions warmed my heart and I smiled as I watched the other pegasi playing in the clouds. Just like that my anger was gone, I had no idea where it had disappeared to but it had taken all traces of its presents with it. Part of me wondered if this was part of this universe's laws on brain chemistry or maybe I was becoming more like them as time went on. It didn't bother me but I felt that no matter the problem the friends I had made here would do what they could to solve it.
"Good you're up and moving."
I glanced from my friend towards the voice, it was my doctor. "Hey Doc," I said with a smile, "It's taking a bit of work but yeah I can move."
"Good, I have the CT scanner set up so do you think you can make it or do you want me to call a."
"I can make it," I interrupted.
"Alright then, nurse go ahead and take him to the CT room, I'll be there shortly."
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Rainbow Dash stood facing the doctor as Steel walked away from the two following the nurse to whatever room she was leading him. But that wasn't important, this was, thought the cyan pegasus as she asked the doctor, "I know you unicorns can just scan for most injures with magic why bother with the CT scan?"
"Because I want a second opinion before I break the news to him."
"And that is?" she asked.
"That odds are that he will never fully recover, the metal pins on his spine look like they have fused on the bone and even onto some of the nerves of his spinal cord. The truth is he may never get better, but who knows the body is an amazing machine."
Rainbow looked at the ground, she couldn't even imagine not being able to move on her own. She was torn, go back and tell the others or follow Steel. Eventually she chose to follow she couldn't leave him alone, no one likes to be alone in the hospital. Even when she was here she had a pony in the room with her and Daring Do in her imagination.
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"Well it's obvious that he's not from around here," said Logia.She had been trying to pry as much information on Steel out of these two ponies but it had been fruitless. "He has the pride and stubborn streak of those from Appleloosa but they're tempered wrong.
Twilight and Rarity glanced at each other and smiled a knowing smile. "You're right he's not from around here," said Rarity.
"In fact he's not from Equestria," added Twilight.
"You don't mean the Gryphon lands," exclaimed the new unicorn. "That would explain his fixation with technology or maybe one of those labyrinthian minotaur cities. No that wouldn't make sense, how would he have gotten there in the first place. He could be from one of the southern countries, one that formed from the remains of the tribes."
The two element's only shrugged their shoulders.
These two are being very uncooperative, thought Logia as she growled in frustration,I wonder. "It's not like I'm trying to steal him."
Twilight's eyes grew wide, as she immediately denied the accusation. While Rarity said, "I can see why you would think that he is quite the specimen but neither of us have that sort of interest in him."
"Really," said the other two unicorns in simultaneous surprise.
"I will admit I did find him fascinating," answered Rarity, "and I still think of him as a close friend, but I think we both have some shadows that will prevent anything more from developing." She paused for a moment then her face changed as if she just realized how her previous comment could be interpreted, and began to reform her statement. "Just like everyone else we all have our skeletons. However they are nothing that should stop you if you're interested."
"Yeah," sighed Logia, "I was agreeing to the fascinating bit, not the rest." She blushed slightly and continued, "I don't know anything about him. If and I stress if I felt that way now all it would amount to is a schoolyard crush."
"Ah, darling don't worry about that you two seem to be made for one another."
"What, no," stammered the purple and turquoise maned mare. "I mean I do find him fascinating, but I'm not interested."
Rarity slid up beside the other white unicorn and said in a husky whisper, "It has to be more than a passing interest, all you've asked about today is him."
A swath of emotion boiled in Logia's eyes, and Twilight had enough time to mutter an, "Uh-oh," before one white unicorn blew up on the other.
"I have been asking to keep my mind off the seven possibly eight ponies that died while I was in charge!" The archaeologist began to weep, it was a more dignified and simple break down than Ponyville usually played host to. Her body shook with each ragged breath, her eyes were hidden by her sagging mane as tears rolled down her snout.
Rarity and Twilight looked at each other then back to the disheveled unicorn. Both began to speak, then stopped to allow the other to continue speaking. The lavender mare gestured for the other to continue. "I'm so sorry, Miss Logia, I, we've never lost anyone before," began Rarity as she stepped forward to comfort the weeping mare.
Twilight winced at her friends words, they were lacking the characteristic tact that was the fashionistas staple. However they appear to have worked, Logia was no longer weeping.
"Hey, let go of me!" Shouted the archaeologist as she twisted her body away from the comfort that Rarity offered.
Looking at her friend the lavender unicorn saw that both Rarity and herself were surrounded by a magic field keeping them from moving. Her eyes moved Logia her electric purple eyes stared at Rarity, the redness of her tears encroaching on her irises.
"Don't touch me," growled the archeologist, "and don't patronize me." She slammed the two elements up against the wall and walked up to them. Her nose less than two inches from Rarities. "I don't want your sympathy or your hollow words, what I want is a way to get rid of the guilt to forget their faces. I want to sleep without going back." She blinked and the anger was gone replaced by the guilt.
Twilight felt the magic holding her lessen as she watched the saddened unicorn trod out of the room. Once the door closed the magic was gone.
Rarity was free as well and she quickly began to speak, "Well I never."
"No," snapped the lavender mare,"how would you feel if you lost all of us, AJ, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy. What if you watched us all die," she paused, just the idea of her argument was bringing tears to her own eyes. "I can't even imagine it, it hurt when Discord changed you. I was broken for a time, but you were still alive."
Rarity stood flabbergasted, it had been a long time since she had been lectured. It was insulting, how could Twilight one of the youngest of them lecture her on anything, what gave her the right. The only problem with being indignant was that it made the truth in Twilight's words sting even more.
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It hurt every time I took a step as I walked back to my room. I probably would have accepted the wheel chair ride back to my room if Rainbow hadn't been with me. However my hardheadedness would not allow it. Idiot, I thought with each step, you are a true idiot, who here cares if you beat your chest like a man.
"Come on Steel you're slowing down," said Rainbow as she walked backwards.
I wore a grimace as I pushed a little harder trying to speed up, but I froze as I entered the lobby that my room was connected to. The new unicorn was curled up on a bench, face hidden and shaking from sobs.
"Steel why'd you stop, you okay," asked Rainbow coming to a stop as well. She noticed my gaze and followed it to the sobbing mass. "Oh," she muttered softly, then in a louder voice, "If you want to take a break, I'll go in and make sure you have room to maneuver."
I nodded slightly and watched her enter my room. After the door closed I walked over to the bench, once there I relaxed and let the suit hold me up. She never looked up as I settled myself. "Hey," she tensed as I spoke then pulled herself into a tighter ball. I blinked at her silent response, then shifted myself slowly until I was able to lean against the wall. I couldn't do so comfortably but I think it put me in a more friendly position. "Now I know when someone is in pain when I see it, and I know there is a time when you just want to be left alone. So if you want me to leave I will. Just let me know and I'll be gone, but until then I will stay here." I couldn't tell if she heard or even cared about what I said but she didn't send me away. As I stood waiting I could hear the voices of everyone in the room, the words were too muted to decipher but there seemed to be an argument in progress.
After some time the sobbing unicorn lifted her head and looked at me her eyes red and puffy, "why are you still here," she asked.
"You didn't tell me to leave."
She looked at me mouth flat studying me. When she finally spoke she asked, "why did you stay?"
"I'm a sucker for a sad face."
She sniffed, "You're an odd one, who are you?"
"I've told you haven't I, I'm Steel Smith."
"No, that is just a name. You're not from around here and no culture I can think of outside Celestia's reach would produce something like you."
"There are always possibility's outside your reasoning."
She stared at me and let out a deep sigh before laying back down on the bench. "Why do you all have to be so difficult."
I glanced around and shook my head before speaking. "Alright I have a secret although I'm doing a terrible job of keeping it," my thoughts went to the conversation with Rainbow earlier and I cursed myself for letting our discussion wander. "I'll let you in on it if you will make a deal with me."
She looked at me skeptically, "what is the deal first."
"Smile," I said with a grin and began to walk towards my room. I stopped looked over my shoulder and said, "If you want once you've put yourself back together, you're welcome to come in."