"Applebucks: Always one for the road!"
The letter Wildcard read was written by a type writer, a luxury that he couldn't afford, and apparently from Applebucks. He supposed he had made quite an impression in his short visit, enough to make the news that day anyway. Reading on he was bemused by the preposition in the letter.
"Ambassador Wildcard, you've only been here a few days but already my pub has been overfilling with patrons wanting to hear about the 'mysterious changeling' that Equestria Daily so generously reported on. Please come by again when you have the time, I have a business proposition for you, specifically I want to sell your people cider- lots of cider. My supplier has a bumper crop of apples at the moment and we can surely both profit from this."
Applebuck had signed the letter with a stamp. "Applebuck: Owner and Proprietor." Wildcard smiled to himself and put the letter in the top right drawer of his desk. He had managed to raise the status of the changelings from "enemy" to "tourist attraction", which was a start. Thinking on what to do next, Wildcard was startled when a pebble hit him in the back of the head. Spinning his chair around he groaned when he saw a blue pegasus flapping outside the window, loath to recall the lack of glass.
"Good morning, Rainbow Dash," Wildcard said, forcing a weak smile. She glared back at him with arms crossed.
"I know it was you," she accused. "You're the one that escaped."
Wildcard clacked two hooves together. "Bravo, Rainbow Dash, you solved the mystery. Not even Daring Do could solve that."
Rainbow Dash growled in response, and her wings flapped hard enough to create a somewhat impressive tornado effect with the dust in the room. Wildcard sneezed. The blue pony smirked and doubled her effort, whipping the dusty room into a hurricane of nasal irritant. Wildcard descended into a fit of sneezing as the blue pony laughed manically.
Princess Celestia entered through the whirlwind, and with a burst of magic, removed all the dust in the room and sent it outwards in a cloud at the blue pony- whom was now grey.
"Rainbow Dash!" She shouted. "Leave the Ambassador alone!" She admonished, glaring out the window beyond Wildcard, still sneezing.
"Yes, Princess." Rainbow Dash said as she shook the dust off herself. Taking one last glance at Wildcard she flew off
Wildcard sneezed again, and was about to continue into another fit as he was surrounded by a golden field and then felt a great force on his lungs. With an odd gasp he coughed out the dust in them into a small pile on the floor. Finally free of that he cleared his throat and hastily bowed at the princess, her scowling gaze turned outside as she watched the blue pegasus departing.
"Good morning, Princess. Thank you," He said.
Celestia looked down at him, and smiled. "No need to be so formal- just call me Celestia. I'm not here on official business," She said.
"Well, then why are you here, Celestia?" Wildcard asked.
"I wanted to see this new desk our 'mutual friend' had spoken of; and by the way he's in the room next to yours now." She trotted towards and tapped the desk with a gold capped hoof. "It's nice." She said. "Really nice."
Wildcard sighed and affectionately ran a hoof across it's mahogany surface. "You have no idea, apparently Princess Twilight managed to get a respected craftsperson named "Applebloom" to make it." He stared fondly at the beautiful desk. His desk.
Celestia chuckled. "Applebloom is a school filly, she doesn't even have a cutie mark."
Wildcard looked at her confused. "A school filly? If she's so talented with woodworking... shouldn't she have a cutie mark representing that?" He asked.
Celestia shrugged. "Nopo- nobody- knows how these things work, it's just magic," she explained.
"Well," she smiled again at Wildcard, "I really should get going, you know where to find me," Celestia said and trotted to the doorway. The fallen door lay to the side.
"Before you go, what's the deal between you and the Doctor?" Wildcard asked. Celestia glanced back from the doorway, frowning.
Celestia sighed. "That's a long story I would rather not get into right now, perhaps later."
She departed without any further words, leaving Wildcard alone with his desk. He returned to his seat and removed a blank piece of paper from the top left drawer. It would probably be wise to report on his progress before heading out again. Dipping his quill into the ink bottle he began.
"From the Desk of Ambassador Wildcard." He wished he had some proper letterhead, Chrysalis knew how often he would have to write that.
"I hope this finds you well, and that all in the Hive is going as well as it is on my part. I have managed to secure a supplier for steel, at considerable expense, in the Crystal Empire. They request specifics on the amounts we will require. Futhermore, Princess Cadence requests an audience with Queen Chrysalis at the soonest opportunity.
As for engaging the civilian population, I have found early success on that part. I hope soon to have solidified a deal to provide Equestrian Cider imports to the Hive, and made an important discovery brought to my attention by one of the locals. Do not under any circumstances send any more changelings this way for permanent residence. We failed to consider the fact that finding ourselves spending more time with the ponies, in closer quarters, will result in our catching of contagions. I owe my life to this pony, and will soon have a plan worked out with him to immunize any immigrants. His name is "Dr. Flankenstein", and I request any intelligence that may have been gathered about him. I also request a contigency dossier, perhaps a unicorn, should I need to leave in a hurry. "
A 'Contigency Dossier' referred to the description of an emergency disguise for infiltrators, should they need to escape in a hurry. One of the core reasons the invasion of Canterlot failed was the bridesmaids failing to have any, keeping their disguise even after being made.
The other reason was Chrysalis insisting on teleporting prisoners to the caves, instead of off a cliff.
Considering that there was still the matter of the Princess of the Night watching his every move, perhaps it would be wise to have an exit strategy.
Wildcard signed the letter, and enclosed it in an envelope from the middle drawer on his left. Magically sealing it closed (Much preferred to licking it shut.), he stuck it in his saddlebag and got up from the desk just in time to meet a guard coming into the room.
"Mail for you, Ambassador." The guard said, handing him an envelope and began to trot back out.
"Hold up!" Wildcard ordered. The stallion turned to him, cocking his head. Wildcard removed the letter from his saddlebag and offered it. "See that this makes it the hive as soon as possible."
The guard nodded and received it, "as you wish, Ambassador," and then trotted back out.
Wildcard took a look at the letter in his hoof. It was once again marked with the standard of the hive. News from home. He opened it and tossed the envelope on his desk, reading as he stood.
"From the Desk of Commander Medulla. TOP SECRET" (That was new, he had assumed these to be secret in the first place.)
"I hope you are faring well, for there is some bad news from abroad. The Griffon Kingdoms are experiencing a rather violent 'unification' which has forced the recall of all of our infiltrators. They are building for war, and I fear the consequence of this if we are not prepared if, and when, that time comes. I have an important set of tasks for you, ones that will probably take some time and will be needed to be performed delicately as you do you other tasks.
Firstly, we need to know the GDP (Total revenue) of Equestria. Secondly, we need to know the size of the Equestrian Royal Guard, and if they have reserves. Thirdly, and perhaps most importantly, we need to know how quickly the guard could respond to an attack on the hive. I expect that Princess Celestia will be forthcoming with the first, but the second will probably be secret information. As for the third, it will depend on what force the Equestrians would send if we sent the alert. Find this information and report it back to us.
In somewhat better news, the new hatching progresses well. The Queen and I have spend some... time... together and see a great vision for the Hives future. Your role is of considerable importance, do not let us down."
Wildcard furrowed his brow as he considered the implications of this information. He had expected to be tasked with information gathering, but doing it with the threat of war hanging over his head was another thing entirely. The treaty stated that the Equestrians should be informed of any 'pertinent information' gathered by the hive, and he would do just that. The rest of the document, however, could never be seen.
It burst into flame and disintegrated before Wildcard, and then he trotted out of the room. First, he would see Celestia. Once that was done he had to see a mare about an apple.
Entering the throne room Wildcard noticed that Dr. Flankenstein was already there, in some discussion with the princess. Waiting at the rear of the room he listened as they talked. To the side of the Princess her assistant stood, wings folded and at attention as the two discussed matters beside her.
"Well, that's exactly it your Highness. We will have to go there before they can come here. The Hive won't carry anything that can effect us ponies, but they will have to be immunized before they leave. The only reason this hasn't been a problem in the past is they always steered clear of direct contact, what with the spying and all," Dr. Flankenstein said, as Celestia read through his notebook.
"How soon can it be done?" She asked.
"It will take a while to make the requisite shots, but as you'll note all the details are there. I estimate it will take a month to make them, and a further month to immunize the hive," he explained.
"I'll have Canterlot General get started immediately then," Celestia said levitating the notebook to her assistant- who nodded and trotted past Wildcard to the exit. She smiled at him as she passed, Wildcard found himself lost in those deep blue eyes as she passed, still lost even after she had left.
"Ambassador?" Celestia asked. "You there?"
Wildcard shook his head and came to attention. "Sorry, lost in thought," He said. Clearing his throat he continued speaking as he walked to the throne. "Your Highness I have important news from our intelligence."
Celestia's gaze turned serious, as Wildcard trotted up to beside the doctor and they exchanged looks.
"I'll assume it isn't good, let's hear it," Celestia said, looking down on Wildcard from her throne.
"The Griffons are reported to be arming, and the Kingdoms are uniting- forcibly. The only thing keeping the peace thus far has been the splintered nature of the Kingdoms, and intelligence is worried that a unification could have... consequences," he explained.
"I see, this doesn't bode well indeed. Will you be able to gather any further information?" Celestia asked.
"No, our infiltrators have been forced to leave," Wildcard replied.
"Very well, I'll double the border watch. Thank you for bringing this to my attention." Celestia said.
The assistant returned, once again passing Wildcard. Her blue coat seemed to shine in the light, the cutie mark of a scroll highlighted. Her mane was the colour of a waterfall, and her tail...
"Wildcard." Celestia said again. "I'm up here Wildcard."
The assistant giggled, and Wildcard cleared his throat again.
"There was uh, one more matter," Wildcard said, "what is the GDP of Equestria?" he asked bluntly.
"Fifty million bits, per annum," Celestia replied. The Doctor whistled. "Fifty million bits." he repeated.
"Thank you for being so forthcoming." Wildcard said. "I suppose I have no more business, your Highness." He bowed and prepared to leave. Celestia however called his name, and he turned back.
"I suppose your superior also wants to know the size of the guard, and our plan of response if the Hive is attacked?" she smirked at him, as he looked at her shocked.
"I've been doing this for millennia, Wildcard. You may be the only Ambassador now, but you are far from the first." She stepped down from the throne and strode to one of the stained glass paintings. "Equestria once extended far beyond these borders, and perhaps one day it will again." She stood before a painting depicting the smiling sun shining down on a continent of blue, and turned back to Wildcard.
"Your answer is fifty thousand, twenty thousand in reserve, and we would send the Wonderbolts- followed by rapid response pegasi and the rest of the guard if need be," She explained. "We're friends now Wildcard, make sure your superior understands that." She smiled warmly at him.
He smiled in return. "Perhaps he only needs to come and enjoy your hospitality." He bowed again. "Thank you." he gestured the doctor to follow him out as Celestia returned to her throne.
As they left Wildcard glanced back the Princess' assistant, catching a glimpse of her as the guards closed the doors behind the pair.
"Her name's First Class." Dr. Flankenstein said, much to Wildcards delight. "I didn't think a hive species would be capable of love, but what do I know." he jabbed his friend in the chest.
"I am not in love," Wildcard lied, "I just like her mane."
The guards chuckled, causing Wildcard to blush and lead his smiling friend away.
"Sure you aren't," Flankenstein said, sarcasm nearly visible in his breath.
"So, what's the plan today?" Dr. Flakenstein asked, as he pulled something from his saddlebag as they trotted along.
"I've got to see a mare named Applebuck about supplying the Hive with cider," Wildcard replied, and then jumped into the air as something bit into his flank.
Spinning around he was greeted by the smiling face of Dr. Flankenstein, holding an empty syringe. "Your first immunization, I told you you'd be seeing a lot of me." He flicked the tip of the syringe and put it back in his bag. "Lead on."
Wildcard fumed. "And what's this going to do to me, make me an Alicorn Princess?"
Dr. Flankenstein put his hoof to his chin, as if considering that idea. "Nah, Dr. Larson tried it once."
"Bad idea."
Soon enough the pair was outside the palace, finding themselves under the warm noon sun of Canterlot. All around the city went through the motions of pretending to be important, as ponies went to and fro with the business of the day. They ignored the blue eyed, black coated, changeling and the doctor that walked beside him. The doctor had been right, the ponies hardly had any attention span, it only took a few days for the new arrival to become 'normal'. So they trotted down the street together, towards the pub that was Wildcards mission for the day.
Soon enough they found themselves there, just in time to find Applebuck tossing a patron out on their flank.
"It's called a tab, not charity!" She shouted at the pony, who galloped off- tipping to the side and crashing into a table. Taking off again this repeated several times as a game of pinball was played down the street.
Wildcard and the Doctor watched the scene unfold, and shared a fit of laughter before turning to Applebuck, whom had also been watching the antics of her ex-patron bemusedly.
"Good to see you again Wildcard..." She trailed off as she looked over the Doctor. "This isn't an inspection is it? I swear that rat is... my pet. That's it, my pet." Her eyes shifted from side to side and she played with her mane.
"No, this is the stallion that's kept me from dying, I owe him my life," Wildcard explained.
"Dr. Flankenstein, at your service." He bowed slightly.
"Well, so long as you aren't here to shut me down, come on in. We can talk business inside." Applebuck gestured the two follow her inside. They followed her in and were led past the patrons (a few of whom recognized Wildcard and raised their mugs) into a room in the back.
She took a seat behind a desk, covered in bags full of bits and assorted papers, as Wildcard took the seat before it and Dr. Flankenstein, left seatless, looked at the room. There was a clock that hung from the wall on the side, broken, and the window behind Applebuck was dirty with the filth of a decade of neglect such that it was opaque. Feeling out of place he left for the bar.
"So, Wildcard, how's things at home?" Applebuck asked, clearing some space off the desk.
"Fairly good, you should start seeing more of us in a few months," Wildcard said. "You mentioned a bumper crop."
Applebuck smiled, and reached under the desk for something. "I did." She pulled out a typewriter and dropped it on the desk with an audible thunk.
"Let's get straight to it. A hundred bits per barrel, and you pay for the shipping costs."
Wildcard thought about this for a moment. He had seen those barrels on his way in, and each looked to contain enough cider for a hundred or so mugs. The math was was easy, and the hive was getting the cider at an apparently large discount.
"Eighty." Wildcard offered.
Applebuck clacked her hoof against the top of the desk, thinking.
"Fine, but you also have to provide security for these until the rail line is complete."
"Agreed," Wildcard said.
Applebuck rubbed her hooves together and began typing. "That's fantastic. I'll write up a contract in a flash and we can conclude this meeting. In the meantime... help yourself," She waved a hoof towards the door and smirked as she typed away.
"Not until this is signed, You aren't going to get me drunk on the job."
Applebuck paused in her typing for a moment, and looked up at Wildcard. "You're clever, I couldn't imagine a better Ambassador." She smiled at him and then resumed typing. Clack, clack, clack.
Wildcards mind began to wander, and he found himself daydreaming about the mare he had seen in the throne room. First Class, a heck of name. In his mind he saw her looking at him, mane swishing in the wind as she shook her head in slow motion. She hovered over a seashell as the ocean behind her gently lapped the shore. He closed his eyes and sighed, lost in the imagery.
He was interrupted by a bump in the back of the head before he was quite done enjoying this.
"Sorry." Dr. Flankenstein said, holding a mug of cider. "This stuffs powerful, your countrymen are going to love you for this."
Before he could say anything there was a clang before them as Applebuck finished typing up the contract. She picked it off the typewriter and looked it over before handing it to Wildcard.
Reading it over he found everything to be as he expected. Eighty bits per barrel, the Hive covers shipping and security. That would only be a minor concern until the rail extension was finished, and then no concern at all. At the bottom was a blank spot for his signature.
"Looks good," Wildcard said, as he put the contract on the desk and pulled a quill from his bag. As he dipped it into a pot of ink on the desk he had a sudden thought, he needed some sort of stable income...
"Hold on." He said, dropping the quill. "You stand to make a considerable profit off this."
"Yes...?" Applebuck cocked her eyebrow at Wildcard, wondering what he was thinking.
"Make it ninety, and ten of those bits goes to me," He said. "I want the first up front."
Dr. Flankestein spat out his cider all over the wall, which made it stand out from the rest of the room as it was suddenly clean enough to show the flowery wallpaper. Applebuck looked at Wildcard, agape.
"I'm not going to say no, but I never expected such... pragmatism."
Wildcard looked for the spots on the contract specifying the price, and with a light from his crooked alicorn erased them and wrote in a figure of ninety. "I have a very open mission profile, and I need currency to carry it out." He finished that, and signed his name.
"I consider it direct funding," He said, handing the contract over to Applebuck. She took it, smirking at the changeling.
"You're a crafty bug Wildcard." She signed it herself, and stood from the desk. "I'll get this notarized and send a copy to you, the first shipment should be ready by the end of the week, assuming you can have your people come pick it up. I'll have twenty barrels for you."
"I'll make sure they're here to pick it up, they won't be able to stay long so make sure that shipment is ready on the dot." Wildcard said, standing and shaking the mares hoof. She reached under the desk and pulled out a small satchel.
"Two hundred bits then, up front like you said." She handed him the satchel, and he put it in his bag. "I'll see you in a week." Wildcard said, and left the room with the doctor on his tail.
"Oh, why not." He mumbled to himself, and counted out ten bits as he walked to the bar, finding a stallion cleaning glasses behind the counter, not noticing Wildcard approach. Putting the coins on the counter the sound of gold made the barkeep turn around.
"For my friend and I." Wildcard gestured to Dr. Flankenstein, whom stood at his side eyeing his empty mug.
The two took seats at the bar and received their drinks.
"That was some crafty work back there," the Doctor said, taking a swig of cider. "I didn't know you had it in you, that's more my style." he laughed and took another.
Wildcard smiled to himself and swished his drink around before taking a swig. His eyes flew open and if he had a pupil it would have covered his entire iris. Equestrian Cider would be his gift to the hive, and they would probably build a statue in his honour after the first shipment arrived. The importation would also send a considerable amount of money to Equestria, which would definitely lighten the mood of the ponies.
It also solved his income problem, something he would be sure to not mention unless asked directly. Very directly.
As he contemplated this Dr. Flankenstein once more did a spit take beside him, resulting in an angry glare from the bar keep. Wildcard turned to him to see what the fuss was, to find the Doctor seemingly entranced by Wildcards flank.
"See something you l-" Wildcard looked back and his eyes widened to almost super-insectoid levels. There was a dim shape taking form there.
"No, that's not..." He was an odd mixture of afraid, curious, and astonished as he watched the shape begin to take form.
"I think it is!" Flankenstein exclaimed, slamming his mug on the bar and taking out his notepad. "Fascinating!"
He looked glanced up from it as he hastily wrote something, watching enthralled at the changeling's flank. The barkeep stared at it from across the bar, and several heads turned to see what was going on elsewhere in the room. Wildcard squinted at his own flank, regarding it as almost alien as he sat there and watched a rectangle form, behind it a red dotted line.
"Dear Chrysalis.." he mumbled, and downed the rest of his drink.
"I think it's... a playing card?" Flankenstein said, apparently drawing it in his notebook.
"It's an ace." the barkeep said. "Or is it a two? It keeps changing."
"Well then what's the line?" Flankenstein wondered.
"A border." Wildcard suggested. "It's a border, and a wildcard," he concluded. Sighing he tried to drink from his empty glass, frowning at the realization at it's lack of cider.
"Welcome to the herd!" One of the onlookers shouted, raising his mug in the air. Wildcard turned towards the other patrons with a look of mild horror on his face, but that changed into a smile as the rest raised their mugs in turn.
"Welcome to the herd!" they shouted.
Wildcard removed a further dozen bits from his bag and placed them on the counter. "Keep it coming."
A while later Wildcard and Dr. Flankenstein stumbled out into the evening sun. Wildcard had been the toast of the bar, it wasn't every day that a changeling earned his cutie mark, and had cut a deal to make the owner of the establishment quite wealthy. The drinks flowed like a waterfall, and the patrons had taken turns congratulating the changeling while giving their- often dull- account of their own cutie marks. Wildcards favourite was an older man with the cutie mark of a heart. He earned it when he met his lifetime love in his youth, and the two had been together since. Adorable.
"So doc," Wildcard said, stumbling along with his companion. "How'd you get yours?"
The Doctor put a hoof on his friends shoulder and waved his other in front as they went down the street.
"I cured the cold, when I was still in school." He prodded his flank with that hoof. "Had this ever since, could've had a career too." He hiccuped, and frowned. "Blew that right up."
"What's the story with that anyway?" Wildcard asked, narrowly avoiding an Equestrian pedestrian.
"One day, I'll tell you. One day." He shook his head. "Not today, too good a day."
Stumbling past the guards at the gates to the castle, whom immediately started gossiping after they had passed, they soon found their rooms. It was only evening but Wildcard could barely see straight, and his friend fared no better. They had been out rather late the night before too.
"I'll see you in the m*hic*ing" Dr. Flankenstein said, falling on his rooms door. "Maybe straighten that horn out." He pushed it open and stumbled inside.
Wildcard snorted at the suggestion and pushed his own door open. "Welcome to the *hic*." He stumbled over to his bed and flopped onto it, closing the door with a green field seconds before falling asleep.
Once again, he found himself outside Ponyville at night. He was aware enough even in the dream to know it was such, and galloped furiously towards the same cloaked figure standing in the courtyard. She began to speak, but was interrupted.
"Just shut up!" He yelled up at The Princess of the Night. "My dream, my rules. Get lost!"
With that he made her vanish with the power of his mind, her confused face shrinking into a spec and then disappearing with a spark. little did she know that Wildcard had developed the skill of lucid dreaming, which had been developed during his boredom in the Hive. It had been weeks since he had really dreamt peacefully, and he wasn't about to let another threat from Luna cap off what had been a great day. He plopped his flank down, and the scene shifted back to the beach from his daydream.
One day he would find that beach.