Dice Whirl the Neck Bearded beamed with pride as he collected the prize from the locked and enchanted closet behind the counter. His first tournament, indeed the first Magic: the Gathering tournament in Ponyville's living memory, had been completed. A victor had emerged, striding across the defeated ruins of her fellows to claim a perfect ranking.
Okay, so there had been a few dropoffs along the way. The ancient chroniclers had mentioned those in the old tomes of tournaments gone by. But almost half the competitors had managed to not leave or be disqualified or evicted for other reasons, and the fire (just the one!) had only done negligible damage to the building, so that had to be a big plus. It had all been worth it, because now he, Dice Whirl the Neck Bearded, supreme Ogres & Oubliettes oubliette manager, magistrate of the Order of the Mystic Dice, had witnessed greatness upon the field of Magic: the Gathering battle, and would now bestow glory on the champion.
“Mares and Gentlecolts, lend me your ears!” he intoned, raising his hoof. “All of you have fought bravely and honorably, or maybe more cunningly than honorably but that still counts, in our great contest! But only one could rise to the top, and the time has come to anoint the supreme Planeswalker! And the winner is...” He scanned the paper on which the results had been written. “...Miss Derpy Hooves!”
“Yes!” Derpy cheered and leapt into the air as the remaining participants stomped their hooves politely.
“Awesome!” Vinyl Scratch came up and gave the pegasus a hug and a hoof-bump. “Seriously though, how did that happen?” she asked with a wide grin.
“I dunno, really,” Derpy answered happily. “I kept always drawing the one card I needed.”
In a nearby corner, Lyra looked down and sobbed. “...My poor, poor humans.”
–
“So how'd it go?” Applejack asked, and was immediately answered with a groan in three filly voices.
“I totally thought everypony could tell our explosions from somepony else's,” Scootaloo grumbled. “Crusaders, we need to make more explosions! Preferably in the center of town where everypony will see them. That way, the next time something explodes and it isn't us, nopony will blame us for it!”
“...I didn't understand that,” Sweetie Belle admitted. Apple Bloom facehoofed.
“How 'bout you, Big Mac?” Applejack turned to her brother, who was walking alongside her.
“Ah had fun,” he answered simply. “And you? Didn't see ya there for long.”
“Ah did everything Ah wanted to do,” Applejack said, smiling wistfully. She turned around and caught the eye of a certain pink filly with a now-severely dishevelled mane, who yelped and ducked behind a nearby shelf.
–
“Hold still, you!” Twilight said to Silver Spoon, the earth pony filly trying to squirm her way out of Twilight's magical grip. “What do you think, Zecora? Can we cure her?”
“Queen! Help! Your servant begs for your aid!”
“I have a potion that will do the trick, one sip and she'll be better right quick,” Zecora said as she rooted around in her saddlebags.
“You'd better fix her!” Diamond Tiara said angrily, her eyes shifting back and forth to check if anyone were looking at her ragged, sore hindquarters. “This filthy traitor abandoned me to that barbarian. I'm going to drag her home and punish her!”
“Mistress! We beg you! Do not leave us to these lesser beings!”
“Here it is, now hold her still! To make this work, not a drop must spill.” Zecora took hold of Silver Spoon's head under her foreleg and brought the potion close.
“All right, I'm holding her in...” Twilight's concentration was pierced by the sound of laughter from nearby, a laugh Twilight recognized and associated only with bad things. She turned and saw the door to the game store's back room open, and out came Trixie and Gilda with huge grins on their faces, a lit cigarette in each of their mouths, their coats glistening with sweat, Trixie laughing as she nuzzled the griffon's shoulder.
Twilight's magic flickered and faded, and Silver Spoon twisted out of Zecora's grip and bolted, screaming, “Mistreeeess!” as she fled out of the building and down the street.
–
“You could have warned me!” Luna yelled. “I was chased half-way across the town by ponies holding signs saying 'Ponyville is for everypony' and 'tribeists not welcome'.”
“I did not expect that you would leap into a game of the Dozens with the first zebra you ever laid eyes on,” Celestia spat back, limping. “...I swear on Myself that once I get back to Canterlot I am going to issue some edicts that will make Ponyville wish it had never been founded...”
The two of them were skulking along the trail in Whitetail Woods, slowly working their way back around to the spot where they had left the royal chariot. Celestia winced with each step. Her entire side was one big bruise, and her wings had been sprayed with some manner of plastic glue that was going to take her weeks to wash out completely.
“That miserable applebucker,” Celestia groaned, rubbing her snout. “Him and my 'most faithful student' are both going to find out how strong the Want It Need It spell can get, I think.”
Luna sniffed haughtily. “It serves you right. You threw me to the timberwolves, and did not lift a hoof to aid me.”
“Sister.”
“Yes?”
“You're grounded. Without library privileges.”
“You cannot ground me! We are equals!”
“No we're not. I'm the big sister and what I say goes. In fact, the only reason you have any royal duties is to clear up my schedule and to make you feel useful.”
Luna's jaw dropped open. “Tyrant!” she sputtered. “Treachery most foul! I call for a revolution!”
Celestia gritted her teeth and narrowed her eyes. “One more word out of you and you're going back to the moon.”
“You can't! Not without the Elements of Harmony, and they'd never go along with your mad designs, tyrant! Ha!” Luna pointed a taunting hoof and did a little mocking dance around her elder sister. “Ha! Ha! Ha...” She stopped when she began to feel the air around them turning dangerously hot. “Eeehhh... I love you, sister?”
“Luluuu...” Celestia said in a sing-song voice, looking at her sister through burning eyes. “You are going to—”
“Mmmph! Mmpphphh!”
Celestia paused. Luna looked at her fearfully. “...What is it, sister?”
“Nevermind,” Celestia said, her burning eyes reverting to normal along with the temperature around them. “I just remembered I have something else to take out my frustrations on.”
–
Queen Chrysalis snickered as she watched the two alicorns sniping at each other. “How delightful, to see the great Princesses of Equestria humbled! At least today was not a total loss,” she said, her guard standing at her side, both of them having now abandoned their disguises. “Even if I did have to leave behind that... foal-thing. And even though the game was distinctly unsuited as a vessel for nutritional emotional energy, it was actually rather fun. I should quite like to play it again. What say you, my child?”
“The Hive obeys the Queen,” the guard answered, staring straight ahead.
“Yes... Well, I suppose I must be heading back to Nova Guise, to report my findings to the Senate.”
“The Hive knows what the Queen knows,” the guard replied helpfully. “The Hive obeys the Queen.”
Something in Chrysalis's throat clicked. “...I have changelings waiting for me, who will be happy to see me return. I do.”
“The Queen is present in our minds. The Hive is the Queen's eyes and hooves. Distance does not matter. The Hive obeys the Queen.”
“I am not only pretending to talk to other intelligent beings! I am not entirely alone with nothing but an army of puppets and pets with which I play at having real relationships! I am going to return to Nova Guise, where the Changeling Senate is eagerly waiting to hear my findings, and I am going to speak before them and they are going to seriously deliberate what shall be done with this information and make recommendations to me based on their own intellect! That is an order!”
The guard tipped his head to one side. “The Hive obeys the Queen.”
Chrysalis absolutely did not weep as she trudged through the Everfree Forest, but the guard walking along behind her heard her sniffles in his mind nonetheless.
–
Twilight closed the door of the Golden Oaks Library behind her, and locked it. “I'm home, Spike!” she yelled, and heard no answer. She glanced back and forth, taking in the empty library. Then she let her carefully-crafted mask of disinterested normalcy fade, and erupted into a massive, manic grin as she levitated Smarty Pants out of her saddlebags and pressed the doll tight against her chest. “I did it! I got you back!” She squealed like a little filly and flapped her wings excitedly as she hugged her doll. “And I'm never letting you—”
That was when Big Mac grabbed her from behind and pressed an ether-soaked rag into her muzzle until she passed out.