Ponyville – not the sort of place you'd readily associate with Equestria's railway network, and I wouldn't blame you either. See, when most ponies think of Ponyville, they think of the bearers of the all-important Elements of Harmony, and in particular, the one who had been crowned as a new princess about a few years ago; Princess Twilight Sparkle. Well, that and the fact that it has the biggest apple orchard in Equestria, which incidentally is one of the few places you can obtain the famous Zap Apples. But that's not to say it isn't a good place for a railway enthusiast such as myself to live...
Anyway, I ought to introduce myself; my name is Locomotion, and I'm a unicorn colt who used to live in a village outside of Trottingham. I had always taken an interest in railways, steam locomotives in particular, since I was about half a year old or something (in fact, you can thank my favourite kiddies' book and TV series “Rodney the Railway Engine” for that!), and was overjoyed when my Dad told me that he had taken up a new job in a research lab near Ponyville. Thing is, the village where I used to live is okay, but there's not much going on there, whereas in Ponyville there's always something for a young filly or colt to see or do, especially one who loves railways as much as me.
Ponyville Central Station, for example, is a really important port of call for all sorts of passenger trains, from local stopping trains to the big expresses headed for places like Manehattan, the San Palomino Desert and the Crystal Empire. And then there's the goods yard – it's not much compared to the huge marshalling yards at, say, Canterlot or Baltimare, but there's still a lot of shunting to keep a railway enthusiast entertained, what with all the fruit traffic from Sweet Apple Acres and such.
Last but not least, of course, there's the Motive Power Depot. Engine sheds, in my mind, have always been a fascinating part of the railway network, no matter where they are located or how many engines live there, and Ponyville MPD is no exception; there's always a wide variety of engines on show, from little yard shunters and branch line tank-engines to beefy freight locomotives and graceful express passenger machines, and you get to see their crews oiling their joints, refilling them with coal and water, removing the ash from their smokeboxes and even turning them round ready for another run.
Among those working out of Ponyville MPD, incidentally, is my Uncle Steamer, a top-link locomotive driver who has lived here since about two years before I was born. He's always been a great source of support ever since he learned how I wanted to follow in his hoof-steps, and often takes me out as far as Trottingham in one direction, and Fort Maine in the other, at the head of whichever express he's been rostered to. I only ever came for the ride at first, but he soon let me try my hoof at driving under his supervision. His regular engine is No. 2508, “City of Cloudsdale”, a huge and majestic City Class 4-6-4 locomotive (that's four wheels at the front, six driving wheels, and four trailing wheels under the firebox and cab) built in 1971.
As I grew older, I put in so many appearances at the depot that Uncle Steamer put in a good word for me with the Motive Power Superintendent, who allowed me to work there as a cleaner. You wouldn't believe how overjoyed I was to know I'd be working for the railways – and at the age of seven too! I had to slap myself across the face in order to check I wasn't dreaming it! But yeah, apart from having to balance school-work with cleaning turns, I'd say I've been managing pretty well so far. My uncle must have seen a heck of a lot of potential in me...
But Uncle Steamer wouldn't be the only one by any means. The story I'm referring to begins on a crisp Saturday morning in mid-May, when I was working on one of the other City Class engines allocated to these very sheds – No. 2549 “City of Las Pegasus” – with the help of some classmates of mine who call themselves the Cutie Mark Crusaders.
I've usually been pretty supportive of the group as a whole, even going as far as to go out with one of them when they tried gaining Cutie Marks in dating a year back. To be honest, I wasn't really into dating back then, and neither did I see Tornado Bolt as more than just a friend – I was just humouring them in the hope that their Cutie Marks would appear. But other than that, I'm good friends with the lot of them, particularly Rumble and Pipsqueak, and have been known to hang out with them from time to time.
I probably shouldn't be saying this, but personally I can't help feeling as if those guys try a bit too hard most of the time. I can understand how important it is to gain a Cutie Mark, but surely you should try getting it in something you enjoy doing or are already good at? But then what do I know? I got mine at about eighteen months old, long before most foals usually do, so I'm hardly a good role model myself in that respect. Still, at least nopony would ever catch me being anywhere near as bad as that stuck-up Diamond Tiara – I mean, if you think about it, all she can be bothered to do is poke fun at anypony she thinks is beneath her, particularly blank-flanks! Heck, she even tried to target me on occasion – but I'm more than a match for that prissy pink waste of flesh and fur, and have more than once been able to put her in her place.
The cleaning turn they were helping me with was of course the latest of their Cutie Mark Crusader antics, and being the supportive kind of colt I am, I had already talked the Superintendent into letting them help me prepare the engine – but as you would expect out of fillies and colts who know virtually nothing about railways, I had a lot of explaining to do in order to keep them on track. Noi, for example, didn't quite understand the concept of “oiling round”, as we call it in the trade, so she kept pouring the lubrication oil onto the coupling and connecting rods rather than into the oil reservoirs as she should have been doing. And then there was all that malarkey with Apple Bloom polishing the engine's brass-work; the number of times I had to remind her that too much polish can tarnish the metal surfaces was a total farce! I can see now why the Superintendent was so reluctant to let them on site.
Still, between the Crusaders' mistakes and my constant lecturing, we just about managed to get the engine spruced up in time for her morning passenger turn. That done, we all got a good wash ourselves before heading over to the mess room for some well-earned breakfast. Uncle Steamer was there too, having just returned from an overnight turn on the Manehattan Limited. As soon as I'd sat myself down with a plate of fried eggs, hay bacon and hash browns, he comes over to my table and says, “Morning, Loco, how are you and your friends doing?”
Loco, in case you're wondering, is what my friends and family tend to call me for short.
“I'm okay, thanks, Uncle Steamer,” I says to him cheerfully. “Just finished getting the 'City of Las Pegasus' ready for service – well, me and the Crusaders, that is.”
“Did they manage okay?” he asked.
“Pretty much okay for beginners,” I replied. “Hardly what you'd call a professional job, but we got there in the end.”
At that moment, Apple Boom comes and sits down next to us with a bowl of apple slices, muttering, “Maybe we ain't cut out ta be railway ponies.”
“Don't sweat it, Apple Bloom,” I soothed. “You and the others did your best. Besides, we've all gotta start somewhere. Look at me for example; Uncle Steamer and my parents see me as a real expert on railways, but I'm still not eligible to fire an engine yet.”
“Why not?” That came from Noi, in case you're wondering. “All you need to do is shovel coal into the engine, don't you?”
“Actually, Noi, there's a lot more to firing an engine than that,” I pointed out. “You can't just throw that coal in at random – it needs to be carefully distributed around the firebox so that you've got a good fire all round. That way, you've more than enough heat to keep a good head of steam; but you mustn't put too much coal in, or else you'll just choke the flames.”
“Makes sense to me,” answered Sweetie-Belle – kind of out of the blue, I thought! But then that's hardly surprising; even I admit that I do tend to ramble on, particularly if I'm talking about steam locomotives, so it's hardly surprising that so many of the Crusaders had so much trouble processing that information.
So anyway, we all sat around the table with me and Uncle Steamer explaining all about how engines work and this, that and the other, when I heard someone talking to the Superintendent behind me in a somewhat camp, posh tone. I turned around, and on the other side of the canteen, I noticed an ochre-coloured unicorn with a red tie, a black mane and tail with blue highlights, a black moustache, a snazzy monocle over his left eye, and a reel of film for a Cutie Mark. Believe you me, I could hardly contain my excitement when I saw him, for that pony was none other than the internationally famous Technicolour Tarquin!
For those of you who don't know who I'm talking about, Technicolour Tarquin is a renowned film-maker from Canterlot. He's made a great deal of Applewood blockbusters over the years, many of which I've actually seen for myself – “The Manechurian Candidate”, “Pony Express”, “Bridleway Limited”, “The Great Appleloosa Train Robbery” – those are just some of the films to his credit, most of which included trains at some point or another, which is why I'm such a great fan of his movies. (Still, you probably saw that coming about a mile away anyway!) From what he and the Superintendent were saying, I could tell that he was making plans for his next film, though what it was about and what part Ponyville MPD was to play in it, even I couldn't quite put my hoof on it myself.
In any event, though, I didn't see myself playing a role in his films any time soon, so I thought nothing more of it and turned back to my breakfast, trying to preoccupy myself with what Uncle Steamer was saying about his passenger turn the previous day. Imagine my surprise, then, when I heard the topic of conversation between Tarquin and the Superintendent shift in a certain other direction.
“I say,” he asked of the Superintendent, “who's that young unicorn fellow sitting over on the far side of the canteen talking with one of your drivers?”
I was rather confused at first, but assured myself that he must have been talking about one of the fireponies.
“Oh, that's Locomotion, Driver Steamer's nephew. He often comes up here to help clean the engines,” the Superintendent replied.
Now if that didn't throw me for a loop, I dunno what would – I hadn't expected Tarquin to take any notice of a common cleaner such as myself! What he had to say next, though, proved me drastically wrong.
“You don't say! Does he like steam engines then?”
“I think 'like' is an understatement,” chuckled the Superintendent. “According to Steamer, Locomotion's always been interested in railways ever since he was a baby, and even today he's such an expert on such matters that he even makes some of my drivers and fireponies look bad!”
“A devoted railway enthusiast, eh?”
“Indeed so.”
Now, I'm not the sort of pony to stereotype others, but the first thing I expected out of Tarquin was some sort of snide brush-off. But once again, I was wrong.
“Marvellous!” he announced in a jubilant tone. “That's precisely the sort of colt I'm looking for! I say, Locomotion, might I have a word, please?”
Subconsciously wondering what I'd done to upset him, I nervously got up and made my way over to where he and the Superintendent were standing. “Um...yes, sir?”
“Your Motive Power Superintendent was just telling me about how much you enjoyed working on trains,” he says to me graciously. “Tell me, dear boy, if I were to offer you the lead role in a film about them, what would your reaction be? Because your personality is absolutely perfect for the central character in my latest production.”
At this point, I have a question too, and that is: how in the name of Luna do you contain your excitement when you've been approached by a world-famous film-maker to star as the main character in one of his productions? I had always enjoyed seeing them on TV, video or in the cinema, but to actually become part of his films in my own right – that was like a foalhood dream come true!
“Oh, I'd love to, sir!” I gushed, trying my best to suppress my inner fan-colt.
“Splendid, splendid!” smiled Tarquin. “In that case, I shall write to your parents at once and inform them of the new film role I have in mind for you. How are you for next Friday afternoon, by the way?”
“Um...nothing special planned for that day. Why, is that when you'll be holding your auditions?”
“Indeed it is, my dear boy,” he affirmed. “Oh, and if you could inform any friends of yours about the auditions, I'd be very much obliged.”
Not much difficulty in that, I thought, seeing as the Cutie Mark Crusaders had probably been listening in. “Consider it done, Mr Tarquin!” I promised.
“Capital!” answered Tarquin, nodding his wholehearted approval. “I'll see you on Friday then,” and he and the Superintendent left the canteen.
I was quite right about the others eavesdropping on the conversation too. When I returned to our table, they were all gazing at me in awe.
“Wow!” squeaked Sweetie-Belle, noticeably impressed. “Did that pony really just offer you a role in a film, Loco?”
“He sure did,” I beamed, still unable to contain my excitement. “I don't know the premise of the film, yet, but he seemed to think I was perfect for the lead role. How about that, eh?!”
“You lucky colt!” remarked Uncle Steamer, ruffling my mane in a friendly way. “I always knew you'd make a name for yourself in the railway world, Loco, but I never thought it'd be this soon. You ought to be proud of yourself!”
“Aw, thanks, Uncle Steamer,” I smiled. Then I turned my attention back to the Crusaders; “But he did say he wanted other fillies and colts to star alongside me in this film, so potentially I'm not the only one. What do you say, guys? Give movie business a shot?”
Scootaloo was the first to speak up; “You bet we will, Loco!” she says eagerly. “This'll be a brilliant way to get our Cutie Marks!”
“Ah'll say it will!” chimed in Apple Bloom.
“Count me in, Loco!” added Rumble.
“Me too!” squeaked Sweetie-Belle eagerly.
I could only smile as they all bumped their hooves together to a shout of “Cutie Mark Crusader Movie Stars!” Whether or not they would be good enough for the film...well, we'd just have to wait and see. But I knew one thing; if I did make it into this film myself, this would be the experience of a lifetime.