Locomotion, a unicorn colt who used to live near Trottingham, is a keen railway enthusiast, and spends most of his time tending to the engines at Ponyville Sheds. One day, shortly after his latest cleaning turn, he is approached by a famous filmmaker from Canterlot who offers him the lead role in his latest production, a role that he eagerly takes up.
But while he and his friends, including the Cutie Mark Crusaders, are taking part in the film, strange goings-on have been hampering the production. Can Locomotion and his co-stars solve the mysteries and save the movie, or is his first appearance on the big screen going to be his last?
Told in the first person by Locomotion himself.
Chapters (7)
It's a decent story, but in all honesty it's mainly just misguiding. One tends to use character tags for ponies that progress a story or have some importance in them. Character's like Babs who play more of a background role shouldn't really be deemed as a "Main Character" tag in this story. Not given the limited amount of exposure and lines she got.
Diamond Tiara served as no relevant character beyond just being used as a punching bag for the author's amusement.
The OC got his cutie mark at 8 months? Even by pony standards that's quite something.
All in all I think OC, CMC, and OTHER as tags would suffice. And in my opinion that's pushing it seeing how everything is mostly ever told and seen through the eyes of Locomotive who at times seems to have the ability to see things through other ponies' perspectives apparently.
As a story that's OC heavy and actually bothers to use at least one of the canon colts in some role or other, Lickety-Split, likely my favorite Colt on the show seeing how nice he was to Spike, I have to say the story is pretty nice.
For those looking for a more dynamic story with the CMC or seeing some good action with Babs or Diamond Tiara, there just isn't much chemistry at all to be honest. Many don't get speaking roles like Babs and Diamond, and when they do like the CMC it just doesn't register enough with me. The focus is Locomotive and he tells the story and channels how we should feel about things in the story. Many of which, like the 13 minor mentions of Diamond Tiara and that ending, are just a waste of time to read them as it only continues to talk about how much of a whiny and uncaring snob she is and how she makes everyone miserable and has everypony talking down to her and ends with that cherry on top to finish off the troves of humiliation conga of her little 13 mentions in this story.
I guess the story would of been closer to 30-40k though had you done 3rd person all the way. Maybe. Probably not since the rest of the cast are more supports for the OCs.
Again, though, my complaint is the improper use of character tags. People search by character tags and see stuff like this it just feels misleading. There just isn't really any Babs or even Diamond Tiara in this to really warrant a tag for them. Their roles are minor and totally forgettable.
Overall the story was nice, if you ignore all that I mentioned, but not something I'd bother downvoting much less upvoting. If I were you I'd toss this one into the OC Group as they would appreciate this story more I'd imagine.
I don't feel my time was completely wasted, it had potential, it was just lacking in character for some. I guess I just didn't like the perspective you chose to tell the story in, not my cup of tea. Ending could of been cute, but it felt mean spirited with how it was executed. Not that I can't appreciate Diamond Tiara in a bunny costume, but I'm sure you know what I'm talking about.
sequel???
