Discord
Meanwhile, in Celestia's room.
Yeah, that pretty much says everything.
Snowflame, in his rage at being denied easy access to revenge punts Diamond Tiara, who had just come in, like a football off into the distance. Ponies, including the CMC cheer at this, and Spike laughs really hard causing him to belch flames and make their table full of syrupy plates teleport. Obito feels good too because he wanted to do that to the brat yesterday.
Diamond Tiara was walking into Sugarcube corner to get a decent breakfast, because the chef made her blueberry pancakes instead of chocolate chip! Seriously what kinda for animal did they think she was? Also he tried to give her caneighdia hay bacon instead of real hay bacon! The nerve.
As she took her first step inside the sweet shop she was immediately met with a boot to the head that sent her flying out the door to land somewhere elsewhere in town.
Inside Sugarcube Corner the second this happened to the rich brat all the ponies inside stated to cheer.
Spike laughs so hard he ends up belching, making the table covered in syrup drenched plates catch fire and getting sent away.
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Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle, In the Bedroom of Princess Celestia...
Discord
Meanwhile, in Celestia's room.Yeah, that pretty much says everything.
Meanwhile in Celestia’s Bedroom
A table and syrup covered plates land on a “Busy” Discord and Celestia. They ignore it.
Meanwhile at Canterlot Castle, In the Bedroom of Princess Celestia...
Meanwhile in our Universe, somewhere in Connecticut...
KenSES64 looks at the suggestions and say, "I don't want to go into detail of this scene. I mean off screen is fine, but there isn't much way to get around this... Screw it, I'll just write "as is". I don't care if people call me lazy or compare me to ether a chicken, the female reproductive system, or the french (free cookie to whoever get that reference)."
So Ken just types the words "As is." into his computer and goes on to the next scene.
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Back at Sugarcube Corner...
Snowflame, Warrior, Spike and Obito
As much of an inconvenience as this is, beating Blueblood's sniveling flank can still wait until after the BBQ. There are several reasons for this.
1.) It's Prince Blueblood. If you know him, he's really not going anywhere even if he is out of the nut house.
2.) It makes things kind of more fun this way.
3.) It'll give Blueblood some time to get his legions of crazy under control and more powerful. After all, what's more fun, beating some sniveling coward, or beating up some sniveling coward whose friends can actually put up a good fight? Think about that for a moment, which one is more rewarding?
4.) That dragon meat is gonna spoil eventually, might as well eat it now.
5.) And most important.... This will make kicking Blueblood's sniveling flank more of an epic quest for you guys.
6.) Also it is worth noting that if Blueblood really does want you dead, he'll probably strike again at some point, so there is no need to rush.
So yeah, BBQ first, then Blueblood. That plan hasn't changed.
That being said, see if you can go about getting invites to all of your pony friends here in Ponyville. It'll be like an Outdoor BBQ party. Or whatever Pinkie Pie decides to call it. Invite Lyra, Bon Bon, The Mane 6 (including Twilight), Derpy, Time Turner, and a few other ponies that you know at least. Discord probably won't be able to show up cause of what is happening with him in the comment I make for him, so there is no need to worry about him. Yeah, make this a party.
But like I said, it's still early in the day, so that gives you time to prepare. Use this time wisely, consult with the pink pony, and prepare.
Back at the Bakery
Snowflame is still a bit peeved though, luckily Obito and Spike conclude that since Blueblood tried to kill him once, he would probably try so again, so all they have to do is wait for him to strike. They don’t have to do any hunting at all.
Snowflame cheers up and he decides to get on with the BBQ. Since Pinkie Pie has already given out the invitations, all he has to do is cook the meat. He also tells Pinkie Pie to get lots and lots of coffee at the party since it’s the only cocaine like substance that he can give to the ponies for the time being.
Also, now that they aren’t in a hurry, Snowflame decides to come up with a team name.
Snowflame: OK, now that Snowflame is leading this outfit, we have to have a cool name. What do you guys think about Team Snowflame?
Spike: That sounds boring, it’s just your name.
Warrior: Smaug is right, we need a name that strikes fear into the gall bladders of our enemies. I suggest The Ultimate Warriors!!!
Obito: Wow, you guys aren’t really creative are you?
Snowflame: Shut it Vega! You’re still on probation, so you don’t get a vote.
Obito: (Puts head down) Man
Spike: Well how about this, Twilight and the girls are like the guardians of this place, but now we’re around, how about The New Guardians?
Snowflame jumps up and punches Spike in the stomach hard, he doubles over in pain
Snowflame: NO!!! THAT IS THE STUPIDEST NAME EVER!!! DON’T YOU EVER MENTION IT AGAIN!!!
Spike: But…
Snowflame: EVVVVEEEERRRRR!!!!!
Spike: OK, I’m sorry.
Snowflame: Good, now the motion carries, Team Snowflame it is.
Obito: Wait, why do you all of a sudden get to decide?
Snowflame: Snowflame didn’t, the Pink Pony did.
Pinkie: Yup, sometimes Simplicity is the best-ity
Spike: Fine
Obito: Fine
Warrior: I am fine with this, but we need clam chowder added to this peck of pickled peppers.
Snowflame: What do you mean?
Warrior: We need a diva on the team, otherwise this sausage fest will give off the wrong signal to others!!!
Spike: You mean a female member? Hmm…yeah that would make sense
Snowflame: You’re right, Team Snowflame needs a chick that is powerful, badass, has little character development, and is universally loved by the fans.
Obito: Fans? (Spike and the Warrior Shrug)
Snowflame then smiles
Snowflame: Spike, take a letter…
"This is bullshit!" Snowflame shouts after punt kicking the first thing he saw walk through the door.
"Hey relax man." Spike said, "Think about it, if he really wants you dead then he'd probably try again sooner or later."
"He has a point." Obito added.
"Hmm... Snowflame guesses that you're right. So lets just have the barbecue first, but we do have to get one thing out of the way first." Snowflame says.
"What's that?" Spike asks.
"Now that Snowflame is leading this outfit, we have to have a cool name. What do you guys think about Team Snowflame?"
"That sounds boring, it’s just your name."
"Smaug is right, we need a name that strikes fear into the gall bladders of our enemies. I suggest The Ultimate Warriors!" The Warrior suggests.
"Wow, you guys aren’t really creative are you?" Obito deadpanned.
"Shut it Vega! You’re still on probation, so you don’t get a vote." Snowflame says.
"Well how about this, Twilight and the girls are like the guardians of this place, but now we’re around, how about The New Guardians?" Spike asked, only to be punched by Snowflame in the stomach so hard he doubles over in pain.
"NO!!! THAT IS THE STUPIDEST NAME EVER!!! DON’T YOU EVER MENTION IT AGAIN!!!" Snowflame yelled with so much anger, not only his body was covered by white flames, but they were even coming out of his mouth.
"But…"
"EVVVVEEEERRRRR!!!!!"
"OK, I’m sorry."
The flame instantly died down and Snowflame said, "Good, now the motion carries, Team Snowflame it is."
"Wait, why do you all of a sudden get to decide?"
"Snowflame didn’t, the Pink Pony did."
"Yup, sometimes Simplicity is the best-ity." Pinkie Pie said witha smile.
"Fine."
"Fine." Obito said.
"I am fine with this, but we need clam chowder added to this peck of pickled peppers." The Warrior says.
"What do you mean?" Snowflame asks.
"We need a diva on the team, otherwise this sausage fest will give off the wrong signal to others!"
"You mean a female member? Hmm…yeah that would make sense." Spike said.
"You’re right, Team Snowflame needs a chick that is powerful, badass, has little character development, and is universally loved by the fans." Snowflame says."
"Fans?" Obito asksonly to get shrugs from Spike and The Warrior.
Snowflame then smiles and says, "Spike, take a letter."
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Canterlot Castle, Luna's room...
Luna
Meanwhile, back in Canterlot.
Luna is still feeling a bit jealous when suddenly, a rather strapping young guard that you've had your eye on for a while steps into your chambers to deliver a message. What do you do?
Luna’s Bedroom
She hears Discord and Celestia going at it down the hallway and it’s driving her nuts. All of a sudden she receives a scroll from Spike. It’s an invitation to the BBQ. She decides to go to it, because anything is better than being cooped up listening to your sister getting nailed by you former biggest enemy. Besides, that guard you've had your eye on is gay.
Luna was sitting in her bedroom trying to read, key word trying due to the noise coming from her sister's bedroom, when a light red pegasus stallion guard with an aqua mane walked in.
"Sorry to disturber you Princess, but we're received a letter for you." He said placing it near her.
Princess Luna got a good look at the guard and smiled, "Thank you... Do you want to keep me company for a little while?"
The guard looked in slight confusion and said, "I'm sorry Princess, I wouldn't mind hanging out with you, but I have arrangements to have lunch with my coltfriend."
Luna's eyes widened, "C-Coltfriend?"
"Yes Princess sorry." The guard said before walking out.
'Great. Just great.' Luna thought opening the letter to read it,.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Princess Luna,
Snowflame is asking for your help in kicking your nephew's ass because we need a female member of Team Snowflame.
Also you, Princess Sunbutt, and Discord are invited to Snowflame's Dragon Barbecue over in Ponyville this afternoon, around 12:30, assuming that they're not too busy to show.
Sincerely,
Snowflame
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Luna just stared at this letter with quite a few questions to ask, but figured the best way to get them would be by going to Ponyville.
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Back at, Oh you know where we're going back to...
Pinkie Pie
Remember that Obito is an assassin.... Well, former assassin now, but still fresh. So that more than likely means that he has unholy amounts of strength, stamina, endurance, and some kind of resilience to pain. What does this have to do with anything? Well it means that he more than likely WILL be able to handle you in that regard. Think about that for a minute.
Back at the Bakery
Snowflame decides to go and get the grills started for the meat. The BBQ starts at around 12:30, and it's 8, so he'd better get started. Spike says he’ll come help in a sec, but he has to do something first. He runs off to the library to get Twilight’s Diary.
Pinkie begins to look at Obito leeringly while her earlier thoughts keep going through her head, he takes that as his cue to leave with Snowflame. That leaves the Warrior by himself.
Rainbow Dash comes into the bakery carrying Diamond Tiara which everyone boos at. She wants to know what happened when suddenly
Ultimate Warrior: SKITTLES!!!!
Rainbow Dash: Oh Buck me…
She is grabbed by the Warrior who won’t let her go despite her protests.
Warrior: Now we will go on magical sight seeing tour that only the dark god Willy Wonka can predict!!!
He then rushes out with her to go sight seeing
Pinkie: Have Fun Everypony
"Snowflame will go get the food ready." Snowflame said.
"Okay." Spike responds, "I'll help in a few minutes, there's something I have to take care of first."
Obito notices the way Pinkie is looking at him with half closed eyes and a smiles, so he quickly turns to Snowflame and says, "I'll help out with the cooking!"
"Sounds good." Snowflame says before the three of them head out leaving The Warrior by himself.
That's when Rainbow Dash comes into the bakery carrying an unconscious Diamond Tiara which everyone boos at.
"Why is everypony booing at me?" She asked sounding a little heartbroken.
"SKITTLES!" The Warrior shouts.
"Oh Buck me…" Rainbow says before she is grabbed by the Warrior who won’t let her go despite her protests.
"Now we will go on magical sight seeing tour that only the dark god Willy Wonka can predict!" The Warrior says as he rushes out with her to go sight seeing
"Have Fun Everypony!" Pinkie says.
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Spike
Realize that this is the perfect time to get Twilight's Diary for Discord since she's not in the library at the moment.
Zecora
Keep experimenting with the cocoa plant. You'll find something... eventually.
At the Library
Twilight isn’t home, and Zecora is busy in the basement, so Spike steals her diary, not before looking at a few entries though. He is disturbed by some, and outright laughs at others.
Spike makes it to the Library where he sneaks around as quietly as he can to get Twilight's diary, but quickly notices that she's not even in the library.
'Well that makes this easier, yet I wonder where she is.', Spike thinks to himself.
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Meanwhile at Berry's Tavern...
Berry Punch
Knowing fully well that Twilight Sparkle doesn't drink, be surprised when she walks into your bar and be likewise a little hesitant to serve her a drink when she asks you too.... Then after she threatens to burn your mane off, do as she asks.
Twilight
Meanwhile, at the Bar
Twilight is getting hammered. She orders one of everything, and forces Berry Punch to give them to her. She should start singing with the patrons, dancing on tables, and turning things into oranges, but she doesn’t give a buck, she’s drunk.
Twilight: I’m a Bucking Pretty Princess Bitches!!! (She yells as she leaves the bar)
Berry Punch was terrified. Twilight Sparkle came into her bar, hours before it was time to even open, and demanded everything, and she meant everything!
She tried to refuse, but Twilight threatened to have her arrested for treason if she didn't. So, the magenta bartender had to give into her demands.
Now, she was under her bar table cowering in fear at the drunken alicorn prancing around her life's work, turning whatever amused her into an oragne or something.
"I'm a bucking prettt princess bitches!" Twilight shouted.
'Please Celestia, let this end. I want to see Colgate and Ruby again.' Berry Punch thought while practically praying to the sun goddess.
She then heard the front bell ring, and after a few moments of quite Berry looked out from under her bar to see that Princess Twilight was gone, sure there were oranges everywhere, and she didn't pay for any for her drinks, but she was gone.
Berry just stepped out from behind the bartable, walked to the exit, left the building, locked the door behind her, and ran like hell home to her wife and daughter.
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Back at the Library...
Spike pulled out the book he was looking for from under Twilight's bed, out of curiosity he opened it up to read a random passage that was dated even before he was hatched.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Dear Diary,
I didn't get much sleep last night. Was too busy watching Shining Armor sleep. He's just so peaceful, and so prefect. I hope to somepony else like him. But maybe a little color, like a royal guard, who also plays guitar, and he'll treat me like a princess and we'll live in a big castle.
_______________________________________________________________________________________________
Spike quickly closed the book, not wanting to see more. "Man, and I though her sleep talk was bad."
Spike leave the Library and starts heading to the lake to help cook, he also made a mental note to pick up Rarity later since she probably can't even walk at the moment.
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At the grills...
At the BBQ Grills
Snowflame uses his own white flames to start the grills. They will ensure that the meat has a healthy taste of Cocaine to it, even if it’s not enough to get the ponies high. That’s what the coffee is for. Obito uses his claws to flip the burgers and hot dogs, while Spike comes in later and is in charge of the Whimpy Veggie meats.
Snowflame uses his own white flames to start the grills and says, "This will ensure that the meat has a healthy taste of Cocaine! Even if it’s not enough to get the ponies high. That’s what the coffee is for."
Obito grabs the burgers and hot dogs with his magic and places them on the grill, and Snowflame stares at him.
"What?" Obito asked.
"Why aren't you using you claws?" Snowflame asked.
"Huh?"
"It said you use your claws not magic."
"Why would I? The claws are weapons, not a Celestia damn spatula. Besides I haven't seen them since you knocked me out the other day."
"Oh yeah, Snowflame gave it to the Pinkie Pony to put somewhere."
"Hey guys!" Spike called walking up.
"Oh good. Spike you take care for the wimpy hay meat."
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Name: Obito
Stats
Strength: 5
Speed: 7
Intelligence: 5
Weaponry Skills: 7
Badassness: Ehhh... Not really.
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A few hours later...
Later, at the BBQ,
EVERYONE has shown up. From the Mane 6 (Twilight is Piss Drunk and Rainbow Dash is still being held against her will by the Ultimate Warrior), to Team Snowflame, to Lyra and Bon Bon (Who are still keeping their distance) to Iron Will and Trixie, and “Time Turner” and Derpy, the CMC, and Princess Luna. Discord and Celestia are still “Busy” though and couldn’t make it.
Snowflame: Let’s Eat!
What happens at the BBQ?
Snowflame and Co. : BBQ! Bring buns and mustard.
Twilight: get drunk off your ass, and become loose-lipped mellow/happy Twilight.
It was time for the BBQ. The food was done the table were set, and the guests were showing up. The Warrior, who was still holding Rainbow Dash against her will, Lyra and Bon Bon, who were keeping there distance from each other, Derpy, "Time Turner", and Dinky, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, Trixie and Iron will, Pinkie, Rarity, Applejack, Fluttershy, and even Princess Luna. Snowflame assumed that Discord and Celestia were still busy, but there was one question. Where was the purple pony?
Well right as he thought that Twilight stumbled over to all of them and saids, "Heeeeeeeyyyyyy everypony! What's *hic* up?"
"Twilight?! Have y'all been drinking?" Applejack asked surprised.
"You bet your flank Orangejames!" Twilight said, stumbling back a little.
So what how?
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Meanwhle at the Crystal Empire...
Blueblood
For what you need to do right now, I think this music is necessary.Zant
When was the last time you had your meds?
In the Crystal Empire
Blueblood keeps chasing after his group of crazies, but they always seem to be too far away, and keep disappearing around corners and into buildings. They are just so enamored with the beautiful surroundings that they don’t seem to know they are evading Blueblood.
Blueblood: Celestia Damnit Zant, get back here this instant!!!
In the Distance he hears Zant shout crazily
Zant: The California raisins stole my brain, now I’ll have nothing to offer up to the Zombie Overlords!!!
Blueblood runs that way, but runs right into an old crystal pony, and she falls to the grond. A crystal guard runs up and grabs him.
Guard: Stop right there criminal scum!!! You violated my mother!!!
Blueblood: It was an accident! Now let me go!
Guard: No, you’ve been running around like a mad stallion all day, I’m taking you in you drunk!
Blueblood: I’m not drunk! I just have to find my group, there’s a disco dancer, a mare who thinks she’s a dog and a would be dictator, I need them to help destroy a hairless ape!
Guard: Come on you!
Blueblood is thrown into the Drunk Tank at the jail.
Blueblood: Why do these things always happen to me? (Starts to cry)
Blueblood keeps chasing after his group of crazies, but no matter what he did he couldn't catch up to them. They always seem to be too far away, and keep disappearing around corners and into buildings. The worst part is they seemed to be just so enamored with the beautiful surroundings that they don’t seem to know they are evading Blueblood.
"Celestia Damnit Zant, get back here this instant!" Blueblood shouted at the gingercorn.
In the Distance he hears Zant shout, "The California raisins stole my brain, now I’ll have nothing to offer up to the Zombie Overlords!"
Blueblood runs that way, but runs right into an old crystal pony, and she falls to the ground.The next thing he knew a crystal guard runs up and grabs him.
"Stop right there criminal scum! You violated my mother!" The guard shouted.
"It was an accident! Now let me go!" The Prince demanded.
"No, you’ve been running around like a mad stallion all day, I’m taking you in you drunk!"
"I’m not drunk! I just have to find my group, there’s a disco dancer, a mare who thinks she’s a dog and a would be dictator, I need them to help destroy a hairless ape!"
"Come on you!"
So the crystal guard take Blueblood and throws him into the Drunk Tank at the jail.
"Why do these things always happen to me?" Blueblood asks and he starts to cry.
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In the Crystal Palace...
Meanwhile, Zant, Disco Dance and Screw Loose somehow end up in front of the Crystal Throne where Cadance is sitting.
Zant: Wow, it’s almost as nice as my old giant chair back home.
Screwloose Barks while Disco Dance hums the Game of Thrones theme.
Cadance: Umm…who are you?
Zant: Hello, I’m Zant, I’m from the Twilight Realm.
Cadance: Oh, a foreign dignitary, I haven't had one of those yet, well I am Princess Cadance, welcome to the Crystal Empire
Zant: Thank you, but how are you a princess?
Cadance: What do you mean?
Zant: Shouldn’t you be an Empress if this is an Empire
Cadance: (thinks about it for a second) I like the way you think
Zant: I do too, sometimes I think in 37 different voices
Disco Dance: Chit Chat, Chit Chat!
Screwloose: Bark!
Cadance: (Laughs) Oh you guys are the funniest dignitaries ever. Well as Empress of these lands, let me give you a tour. I’ll show you the Crystal Heart, the Empire’s biggest line of defense.
Zant: Oh that sounds lovely. Perhaps we can find my lost god along the way.
Zant, Disco Dance and Screw Loose somehow end up in front of the Crystal Throne where Princess Mi Amore Cadenza of The Crystal Empire, or simply known as Cadance is sitting.
"Wow, it’s almost as nice as my old giant chair back home." Zant said.
Screwloose Barks while Disco Dance hums a little tune..
"Umm…who are you?" Princess Cadence asks.
"Hello, I’m Zant, I’m from the Twilight Realm."
"Oh, a foreign dignitary, I haven't had one of those yet, well I am Princess Cadance, welcome to the Crystal Empire."
"Thank you, but how are you a princess?"
"What do you mean?"
"Shouldn’t you be an Empress if this is an Empire?"
Cadance thinks about it for a second and smiles, "I like the way you think."
"I do too, sometimes I think in 37 different voices."
"Chit Chat, Chit Chat!" Disco Dance shouts and Screwloose barks.
Cadance laughs and says, "Oh you guys are the funniest dignitaries ever. Well as Empress of these lands, let me give you a tour. I’ll show you the Crystal Heart, the Empire’s biggest line of defense."
"Oh that sounds lovely. Perhaps we can find my lost god along the way." Zant says with a grin.
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Name: Empress Mi Amore Cadenza
Stats
Strength: 4
Speed: 5
Intelligence: 5
Love Power: 9
Use as a Projectile: 8
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In the Black Hole...
In the Black Hole
The Voices seem befuddled since Team Crazy ended up in the Crystal Empire, but the main voice wants to see how that plays out.
"Great Team Crazy is in the wrong place, and Blueballs is locked up." Voice #1 said.
"This might not be a bad thing." Voice #4 told the rest of them, "We can see how this turns out."
