Chapter 25: I Don’t Even...
The Same Day, Day Four of Alexander’s Calendar Stick, Mid-Evening, One Second Later…
The yell had barely reached Alex’s ears before Rainbow-something began rocketing toward him. He left the axe buried in the ground and brought his arms in front of him.
Not a half second later, the pegasus smashed her hooves into his raised arms. Alex wobbled slightly and had to put some pressure on his injured leg, but was nonetheless able to keep his balance.
His arm quickly shot out, and his knuckles clipped Rainbow’s jaw. She spun around in the air twice then fell to the ground facing away from Alex. This is going to hurt, he thought as he watched her pick up her hind legs. He watched her legs move toward him almost in slow-motion, already wincing slightly in preparation for the expected pain.
Alex was not disappointed.
Rainbow’s buck was slightly off center, but because of that, even more painful. One of her hooves impacted Alex’s outer right thigh, while the other ended up in a much more tender area.
Unfortunately for Rainbow, the usually devastating attack left her in a rather exposed position with her rear in the air. Normally, it wouldn’t be a problem, and she would be fine. This was not normal. Alex, being rather experienced in taking pain was not immobilized by it. Hurt and angry, but not motionless.
Alex grunted in pain as he brought down his fist and returned the favor, hitting the pegasus right underneath her raised tail.
She squealed in pain and locked her legs out, hitting Alex in the exact same spot. It hurt much more the second time around.
Alex fell over on his side and curled up slightly, grunting in pain and clutching his aching crotch. Rainbow fell onto her stomach then quickly rolled to her side, also covering her aching crotch.
“I hate you,” she groaned.
“The feeling’s mutual,” he grunted.
“Why’d you do it?” Rainbow said, still wincing in pain.
“Do what?” Alex responded.
“Kill Fluttershy! What else would I ask?!” she shouted angrily, staring at Alex.
So that’s her name… “You actually think I would kill a mentally and emotionally distressed… being… if I could avoid it?”
“You broke my wing, suffocated me, broke Pinkies ribs, traumatized Ditzy, and buried an axe in Fluttershy!” she yelled, tears forming in her eyes. “What do you think!?”
“Hey! I had a legitimate reason for all those things-” Alex said, sitting up slowly and painfully.
“So you admit you killed her!” she shouted, standing up on shaking hooves.
“You didn’t let me finish. I was-”
“You don’t deserve to finish!” Rainbow yelled, jumping at him with the help of her wings.
Alex lazily locked out his arm and waited for her to run into it. She rammed her forehead into his palm, but her legs weren't long enough to reach him. She struggled in vain to hit him for a few seconds, waving her legs about wildly.
Alex grabbed her muzzle with his hand and roughly shoved her face into the dirt. He dragged her face along the ground until she was close to him.
“S...p…!” she yelled, getting a mouthful of whatever happened to be beneath her.
Alex placed his left elbow on her head and grabbed the base of her right wing. He then used his other hand to forcefully extend her wing; he wrapped his hand around the middle joint, forcibly squeezing it to prevent her from folding her wing.
Rainbow continued struggling so Alex put more weight on her head and slowly began bending her wing against the joint. “Remember what I said last time?” he asked. “Stop struggling, and it will stop hurting.”
“MmmmMMmmMmm!” came the angry, muffled reply. Rainbow just fought harder.
Alex slowly began applying more and more pressure to both her head and wing, forcing her face into the ground as well as providing pain to the back of her head and wing. “I can do this all day, but... I… uhhhhh… don’t think your friend has that long...” he said staring at the yellow pony.
“MMmmmMmmmM?” yelled Rainbow, slowing her struggles.
“See for yourself,” said Alex, lifting his weight off of her head and relaxing his grip on her wing.
Rainbow lifted her face out of the furrow that it had created and gave Alex a dirty look. She followed his gaze to Fluttershy, who was no longer lying motionless. Motionless would have been a much better sight than the one they were seeing.
“Oohhh baby…” moaned Fluttershy quietly, repeatedly thrusting her hips against a large tree.
“Uhhh… what?” asked Rainbow.
Fluttershy began kissing the bark, giggling quietly to herself.
“...Not quite what I was expecting…” said Alex slowly.
Rainbow let out a snicker, which let to a giggle, that led to laughter, that became full guffaws. She began pounding her hooves on the ground in her mirth.
Alex released the wing and watched her roll around, hardly seeming to breath. He looked between Rainbow, who was laughing so hard she was crying, and Fluttershy, who was grinding her hips against the bark while attempting to give the tree a French kiss. He couldn’t help but smile and shake his head slightly as she got her tongue stuck in the bark.
“You know I like it rough…” she moaned after getting her tongue free. “What’s that?” Fluttershy placed her ear against the tree, nodding and focusing her attention on Rainbow. “Ohhhhh, Dashieeeee!” she screeched. “It’s threesome time!”
Rainbow wasn’t laughing anymore. “Huh-wait-what!?” she yelled, quickly getting to her hooves.
“Me and Mister Tree are going to rape you senseless,” she said happily, as if wishing someone –Sorry, somepony. Frikin alternate dimensional pronouns– happy birthday.
“No, no, no, no, no, no, no, I’m fine,” said Rainbow, backing up slowly.
“But Mister Tree insists,” said Fluttershy, walking closer.
“But, uhhhhhhh... I… have-previous-plans-lose-my-virginity-and-they-don’t-include-a-tree!” she yelled, slurring her speech.
“Oh that’s okay, he doesn't mind; Mister Tree doesn't care what your plans were. He has wood all the time, and it’s our duty to be there for him as his personal playthings,” Fluttershy said, smiling and stepping closer. “It’s not like you have a choice anyway.” Her grin became unstable looking as she began sprinting for the nervously shifting pegasus.
“It’s not funny anymore!” yelled Rainbow, running away from her. “Fluttershy? Fluttershy! Snap out of it!” she yelled, circling the small clearing with the drooling yellow pegasus right behind her.
“There are no breaks on the rape train!” yelled Fluttershy.
“What does that even mean!?” asked Rainbow over her shoulder.
“Suck on his acorns!”
Alex lost any semblance of composure that he might have held. He started laughing uncontrollably as he watched the pegasi running in circles around him.
“What did you do to her?!” asked Rainbow.
“Noth-ing! But you have some pretty weird bugs around here!” he replied, laughing hysterically.
“Well, do something! We can’t leave her like this!” Rainbow yelled angrily.
“Come on, Dashie! It’ll be fun!”
“On the contrary, I don’t have to do anything,” snickered Alex.
“So help me I will–Get your hooves off me!” she shouted at Fluttershy. “I can’t carry her back with my healing wing, that you broke I’ll add. And she wouldn’t have even been out here if you weren’t. Any way I look at it’s your fault!”
“Your point?” asked Alex, still laughing as he watched them running around him.
“Do! Something! I don’t want to have sex with a tree!”
“You do something, I’m too busy watching,” replied Alex, calming down slightly but still smiling. “Anyways, I want to see some of that hot pony on tree action. I mean come on, who wouldn’t?”
“I hate you.”
“I know,” he laughed.
Fluttershy pounced on Rainbow and pinned her wings to her sides. “We’re ready to play… Are you ready to come?” she breathily asked, kissing up and down Rainbows neck.
“...This is wrong on so many levels…” she groaned. “What happened to her?”
“Hell if I know. A big black spider came and bit her on the neck. I killed it with the axe right after it did, but evidently some venom was injected into her,” he replied, still smiling in amusement. “...So why aren’t you doing anything again?” he asked as Fluttershy grabbed her tail in her mouth and began dragging her towards “Mister Tree”.
“Because it’s Fluttershy. She’s sickeningly sweet, astonishingly adorable, and all around shy. She is so gentle that she can pet the wings of a butterfly. I’m not going to risk hurting her.”
As if on cue, Fluttershy spanked Rainbow on her right buttcheek. “Show me dat plot!”
Rainbow leapt straight into the air, yelping uncontrollably. “Ahhhhhhhh!” she screamed. Upon landing, she spun around on her hooves and grabbed onto Fluttershy’s face with her forelegs. “What the buck are you do–” she began screeching.
Fluttershy rapidly closed the distance between them and kissed Rainbow, cutting her off. Alex could see the blush forming on her cheeks as the red contrasted with her blue coat. He also noted that her wings started opening more and more as the kiss continued.
“Awwww… That’s so sweet…” cooed Alex sarcastically.
Rainbow roughly shoved the mildly insane pegasus away from her. “Not a word,” she sputtered. “Not. A. Word.” She struggled with her half open wings for a second before leaving them alone. “You have no idea how hard it was to convince everypony I’m straight.”
“I won’t judge you.”
“But I’m not a–” she sputtered indignantly.
“I’m so sexy!” interrupted Fluttershy, passing out and falling over on her face. She began to snore quietly.
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“It's official, I love that spider,” chuckled Alex. “While we’re speaking of it, what’s it called?”
“I’m not an egghead! How should I know?” she replied angrily.
“Rather an interesting name for a spider…” he murmured, stroking his beard.
“...I’m leaving now. Don’t follow me.” Rainbow grabbed Fluttershy’s pink tail and looked around at the darkened forest. She chose a direction and began walking backwards, dragging Fluttershy across the ground.
“Don’t you want to stay here for the night?” he asked. “You know, in the firelight where it’s safe?”
“I have to get Fluttershy to the hospital,” she replied through the tail.
“You know you’re going the wrong way, right?” Alex called.
“I’m the one and only Rainbow Dash, I always go the right way!” she yelled, already out of sight.
Alex shook his head. “Stupid horse…”
“I heard that!”
He heard the distinct sound of the wooden wolves howling in the distance.
Damn you conscious. Alex picked up a hefty stick out of the fire that was burning at one end. He stomped the fire into ash and followed the direction that the ponies had taken.