“Nopony is watching us you say?” I said with a smirk on my face as I slowly sat down on my chair, not giving a flying fuck about the levitating spears that is currently surrounding me.
The princess did not answer at first but kept on looking at me with her glorious pokerface… I have to learn how to do that.
I noticed that one of the spears were too close to the side of my head for my liking, so I just lifted up my finger and gave it a lightly tap on the cold and sharp iron side. As I expected, the unicorn lost the control of the spear as it lifelessly fell to the ground.
The guard quickly picked it up again with his telekinesis abilities and aimed it once again at me. But this time not as close as before.
Celestia gave out a big sigh before motioned to the guards that they shall leave us alone… Well that’s what I think she did anyway due to the fact that they all teleported away… with my knife of course.
“Where did you get that knife from? I made it clear to the guards and Shining armor that you have to go through a metal detection spell before entering my castle.” Celestia asked me with a serious tone. I could see in her eyes that play time was over. No more good cop I do believe.
“I took it from a food cart or some shit like that back at the hospital, and apparently I’m not just immune to magic but everything I touch gets the same attribute.”
“Then how come that I got this from spike?” A rather long rope appeared on the table before us both… It was the rope that the blond pony used to tie me up! Now that I am thinking about it… Why didn’t the rope become magic immune as well?
I took a few seconds just staring at the rope as I tried to come up with a reason how I managed to get free from it… I WAS touching it so it shouldn’t have left my wrists/calves.
“I… I am sorry princess… I am not so sure myself. You see, There’s no magic where I am from! Heck, I never knew that I was immune before Twilight found out about it two weeks ago.”
The Solar princess kept on looking at me, trying to figure out if I was lying or not I do believe.
“Now that you mentioned it… Where are you from? And how did you get here? According to Twilight you came here using a teleportation spell of some sort.”
I placed my hands over my face and started to rub it slowly as I tried to collect my memories… All I could remember was…. Veronica…. My appar- OUR apartment. I was… Sad? Angry? I can’t remember…
“I am from a planet called…. Earth or Terra if you want…. But I can’t remember how I got here. I was having a walk I think, I needed to do something but I can’t remember what… I’m sorry princess but I can’t tell.”
Celestia gave out another big sigh as a document full with paper on it appeared beside her. She opened it up and started to go through them one by one as silence fell upon this bloody room once more.
“So….” I said to break the silence. “Where is your sister, Luna was it? I thought that I was supposed to be interrogated by BOTH the royal highnesses.”
Celestia, of course, did not answer me but just kept on looking through the soddin’ papers. What a grumpy gal, that one…
“Still mad about the Knife incidence?”
And once again, no soddin’ answer. I gave a sigh of my own and kept on waiting for grumpy Mcgrumpyson to read through her papers. And after a few minutes of awkward awaitenings something happened!
“So…” Celestia started of. “According to this papers you are a… herbivores. Is that correct?”
Hoo boy… Time to tell her highness that I lied right up to her scientist pony’s face. Great.
“Yeah about that…” I didn’t get enough time to tell the truth before Celestia started to write something down and ask another question.
“So your teeth are NOT a defence mechanism?”
“Yes and no. They ar-” And once again she started to write something down and asked another fucking question.
“Is it so that your kind is called ‘Humans’ and your name is ‘Martin’?”
“Yes, that is corr-”
“Well at least you were honest in two things” That bitch stated as she wrote something down… God I hate her.
“One last question before I leave you to the hoofs of my guards is: Why did you try to throw Applejack, known as the element of honesty, out of Twilights roof?”
I quickly stood up and slammed my hands down the table and looked into Celestias eyes. She, of course, still had her pokerface on and didn't even flinch an inch…. Hey that rhymes!
“I. Did. NOT. Throw her out of the roof. I INFACT tried to save her bloody life!”
“Is that so?” Celestia said as an eyebrow started to rise up. “Because according to several eyewitnesses, they saw you trying to throw her down the roof but luckily got you down with her.”
“I don’t know if your so called ‘eyewitnesses’ are blind or just stupid, but I did no such hideous thing. If there was someone who-”
“It’s called somePONY, but go on” I swear to fucking God, Allah, Odin, Zeus, pikachu, whoever is in charge, that I’ll give her a fucking high five. Into her face. With a chair, if she interrupted me one. More. Goddamn. Time.
“... As I said, if there was anyONE who tried to throw someONE out of the roof it was HER!”
“You want me to believe that the element of honesty tried to throw YOU out of the roof?”
“Well… ‘Throw’ may not be the correct term, but she did try to kick me out of the roof! I luckily got hold of her as she kicked me which made us both hanging for our lives”
“So you two were ‘hanging for your lives’ as you stated, but how did you ‘save her life’ then?”
“...I made sure that she landed softly.”
“And you want me to believe that you would commit such selfless act?”
Ok, now she is pissing me off.
“I see what you are doing there. You don’t want to believe me. You want to see me as a heartless psychopath.”
“And why, pray tell, do I want to see you as such?”
“Because it would make your job much easier” Celestia did not say a word after that… I think I got something here.
“You don’t want to believe me because if you did, then you had to play the fifty/fifty game. If you did believe me then you could endanger everyONE out there if you let me go. So right now you are doing everything you can to stay untrusting towards me, that’s why you kept on interrupting me when I tried to explain why I lied to your… ponies”
The eyebrow started to sink back to its original position as she just kept on looking at me in disbelief.
“I have to agree that you doesn't make it easier for me to trust you. You have assaulted two of my subjects and straight up lied to my most faithful student.”
Huh… So twilight is her student? In what? Pokerface training?
“Does it ever have accrued to you that there MIGHT have been a reason why I did the things I did?”
Those words got the solar princess thinking big time! I love moments like these!
“I have dealt with many monsters in my days Martin. And do you think they had a valid reason to create chaos and harm innocent creatures?”
I slowly sat down on my chair once more, never losing my sight on the princess's physiognomy… ehm… Face.
“Let me tell you the story of a creature trapped in a prison made of glass. And whose wardens gave him nothing to eat more than pancakes and apples. He could however just speak up, tell them that he needed to eat or do something else. But he was too amused by their pathetic attempts to make him talk. So technically, it was his fault that he got nothing but pancakes and apples.”
The princess just rolled her eyes and kept on listening.
“But then he was told a story by his wardens. A story about a smart and fair leader whose only purpose was to make the lives of those who lives under her wings better. And that made the glass prisoner think. He started to think that maybe he should speak to the smart and fair leader due to what he will say might scare her subjects. It took him a week however to make up his mind and to decided to speak. And when he did so he had to play out some white lies so he wouldn’t scare his wardens. But after doing so he got told that the fair and smart leader had no interest in meeting the creature after another two bloody weeks and that upset him greatly.”
Without a warning I jumped up to the table and sat down cross-legged and stared into the princess’s eyes. This time she almost backed away a step but controlled herself in time to stay where she stood.
“So was he going to stay put like a bloody dog waiting for his master to beat him up? Oh nonono he was not. So he escaped. Unfortunately it didn’t go as he planned thus he had to hurt a poor little dragon and hit a pony who only wanted to protect her friend. And that hurt the creature more than anyone could see.”
I leaned closer to the princess and whispered to her.
“Do you know what it feels like being far, far, far away from home without any friends nor family by your side? Do you know what it feels like being accused for being a heartless monster when all you wanted was to go home?”
“Nopony forced you to act like you did” she said back to me.
“Monsters are never born, they are created."
“What do you mean by that?” The princess asked with annoyance in her voice.
“Maybe you should ask your sister.” Those words struck the princess hard. She started to back away a few steps but I went off the table and walked up to her. “I do believe you never answered my questions. Do you know what it feels like being transformed into something that others have created?” The princess had now her hind against the door. And I walked up to her even closer and stopped only inches away from her.
“Do you?” The princess now hung her head in shame but no words were said. She didn’t have to say anything either. I knew that I won this round.
The solar goddess was just about to say something but was stopped by me as I lifted up my hand and signed her; ‘dont talk’.
“Before you say anything… I’m starving. Go get me a sandwich or something would yah?
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The darkness started to fade away as a certain orange pony started to come back to the land of living. She slowly opened up her eyes and was greeted by a rather pink equine only inches away from her face.
“Ohmygoshohmygoshohmygosh, She’s awake!” The pink pony burst out as she hugged her recently healed friend.
Apple jack was just about to inform the hyperactive pinkie that she could not breathe but was interrupted by the very same pony who caused the lack of oxygen.
“WewereSOOOOOworriedaboutyou! Wethoughtthatyouwerehurtreallybad!”
“P-pinkie”
“Ormaybeevenworse! *gasp* Maybeyoucould’vedied!
“Pinkie!”
“AndIamtellingyou, Idon’twannathrowa ‘Funeral-to-our-best-friend-who-got-killed-by-a-blood-thirsty-alien-party!”
“PINKIE!” The Western pony yelled out to stop the madness that occurred.
“Yes, Applejack?” She asked innocently.
“Ah can’t breathe”
“Oopsie” Pinkie said as she let go of her friend and happily jumps of the bed.
“W-where am ah anyway?” The cowgirls started to look around in hope to figure out where she was. But got an answer rather quickly by her friend.
“You’re in the hospital wing in Canterlot, silly”
“Why in tarnation am ah here? And where is the creature?”
“The princess is having an interrogation with him as we speak! You are here so we could blast him with the elements of harmony as soon as you have woken up, and now you have! So justice can now finally prevail! DUH!” Pinkie said as it was the obvious thing in the frickin’ world.
"WHAT?!" Applejack exclamed as she jumped of the bed and approached her pink friend. "We can't do that to him! He saved mah life!!"
“He did?”
“Yes he DID! Ah was hanging for mah life on top of Twi’s roof and he could’ve let me fall and save himself! But he did not!”
“He didn’t?”
“.......Yah are doing that again!”
“I do?”
“Yes! You are just askin’ me a question every time I’m telling you something important!”
“I am?”
Apple jack exhaled in an irritated fashion as she facehoofed.
“Where are the rest of the girls?” Apple jack asked as she and pinkie started to walk towards the exit of the hospital wing.
“They are down at the cafe and taking something to bite. They are gonna be super excited when they see you healthy as a sea cucumber!”
“Ah beg you’ pardon?”
“Healthy as a sea cucumber!” Pinkie said as her smile became even bigger… Is that even possible?
“Ah don’t get it”
“Have you ever seen a sick sea cucumber?”
“....Can’t say that ah have…”
“See?” Pinkie started to bounce up and down as they headed down to the stairs towards the cafe.
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“Whatever should we do with this foul beast my dearest sister?” The princess of the night asked her beloved co-ruler as they looked out over their land from a balcony. It was not much long until Luna had to perform her duty which involved raising the moon.
“I wished that I knew, Luna. I don’t trust him a bit but there’s something about him that makes me feel… Sorry for him.” Celestia said as she looked over to Luna.
“How could you possibly feel sorry for such creature? He has committed several acts of assaults and top of that he threatened your life with a knife!”
“There’s no denial in that he assaulted two of my subjects, but I think that he never wanted to use the knife against me.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because if he truly wanted to hurt me with it, he would have done it earlier and not slamming it on the table as he did… He just wanted to prove that we were actually documenting our conversation.”
“He is resourceful and know how to improvise, we give him that. But that only proves that he cannot be trusted!”
“But you should have seen his eyes. He just want to go home and those eyes of his just screamed for help!”
“He fooled Twilight, Fluttershy AND Spike in believing that he was harmless. If Miss Twilight didn’t stay on the safer side and asked Applejack to guard him… Who knows what he could have done!”
“But his ey-”
“He has proven being a convincing actor as well, sister!” Luna spat out as she stomped her hoof on the concrete floor. Silence fell over the balcony as Celestia once again looked over the landscape. The sunlight were giving her land a shower of warm, delightful light, but not for much longer as the lunar princess took off and started to raise the moon with her magic.
As the moon was settled she slowly flew down to the balcony and joined her sister once more.
“What should we do?” Celestia asked.
“We think that… We should help him to reach his home. His kind and behaviour does not belong here in Equestria.”
“But we cannot let him wander off as we try to find his home… Should we..?”
“Maybe we should.” Luna said in a serious tone. “He may not like it but he will at least have a chance to find home, does he not?”
Celestia gave out a big sigh as she closed her eyes lightly, thinking about the option. After a few moments of intense thinking she came to a conclusion.
“Maybe it would be for the best to… Lock him in, for a reasonable amount of time of course.”
Luna gave her a nod as she gained herself some height.
“Do so dear sister. We must however continue our duty and bring the stars to life.” And with that she took off with an amazing speed up to the big blue. Celestia however turned around and walked towards the balconies exit, where two royal guards stood at attention as the princess approached.
She stopped before one of them. “Go and bring twenty of all kinds of guards. Pegasi, Unicorns and Earth ponies. Tonight, we will lock the monster behind bars.”