Entry Ten
Hey again, diary! I know it’s been a few days. I don’t know why but I keep forgetting about you for some reason! Don’t worry, you’re still one of my best friends! Even if you never say anything back to me. That’d be crazy if you did, though, huh? Just imagine! You could probably give me all kinds of advice! Things have definitely been interesting the past few days. I’ve still been seeing Trixie every night. She’s doing so well! She’s really settling into life here in Ponyville. She’s making lots of new friends, she loves her job, and she’s becoming better and better at magic! Before I left her house tonight she was telling me about this new spell Twilight is teaching her! I don’t really remember all the details about it, but it sure sounds exciting! She’s talking about trying to use it in a magic show she’s putting on in a couple months. I never would have thought that she’d be performing magic again for other ponies. At least not like she used too. But she loves it and it’s something that makes her really happy, and I like seeing her happy! She’s going to put it on in the park during the first snow fall. It’s going to be really exciting. I’m still confused about my feelings, though. Every night we get together at the same time. Sometimes we’ll talk about our days, or just gossip. Other times we’ll just lay there and cuddle and stare into the fire. Other than the other night, she hasn’t kissed me. I don’t know if that kiss was just a show of appreciation or not. I want to tell her so badly how I feel, but at the same time I don’t want to run the risk of hurting our friendship. You understand, don’t you, diary? Of course you do. You’re the best listener ever! Twilight hasn’t said anything else since Trixie’s housewarming party. But I know she still thinks about it. Every now and then I catch her looking at me with sad eyes. I can tell she’s worried. Maybe I should talk to her about it again. I wonder if anypony else notices? Maybe asking my friends for advice wouldn’t be such a bad thing. Just because I’m Pinkie Pie doesn’t always mean I have an answer for everything! Anyway, goodnight diary!
Entry Eleven
I decided to talk to Twilight today. Since I wasn’t working at Sugarcube Corner, and because I knew Trixie would be working all day, I went and saw her bright and early this morning. Twilight was really happy to see me! An she seemed to know what was on my mind. She sent Spike on an errand that she knew would take a while and made us some tea. I don’t really like tea because it’s not very sweet. Not like hot chocolate! Oh I wonder if we can order some of those big marshmallows for this winter again! They were such a big hit last year when ponies came in from the cold for hot cocoa! Anyway, I told her everything. I know Twilight doesn’t know a lot about relationships, but it felt good to sit down and talk to somepony about it. I think I surprised her a bit because I wasn’t my normal bouncy self. After I told her that I do have feelings for Trixie, she just stayed quiet for awhile. Then she told me that the best thing to do was to just tell Trixie how I feel. Even if she doesn’t reciprocate my feelings, I would feel better in the long run. What a silly word! Reciprocate. It almost sounds dirty! She also said that if I didn’t want to tell Trixie, that I at least needed somepony to talk to about it. Somepony that could give better advice than her. I’m not really sure who she meant, if she meant anypony at all. Maybe Rarity? I think she would probably be the best pony to talk to about this kind of thing.
Entry Twelve
Well diary, it took a few days, but I finally managed to catch up with Rarity. She’s been so busy with her store lately because of Winter coming. And I’ve been busy with Sugarcube Corner for the same reason. But we finally managed to set a lunch date. She seemed worried about me. Kept saying that my mane and tail were looking flatter and flatter recently. I can’t tell if they have been or not. I haven’t really paid attention. Maybe all of this worrying is getting to me. Anyway, I told her everything. She was surprised at first, saying she could hardly believe that I would fall for another pony, especially one like Trixie. I didn’t really know what she meant at first. Have I fallen for Trixie? That would certainly explain my cupcakes haven’t been baking right recently. You wouldn’t believe how much a bad mood can affect your baking! I remember when I thought all my friends hated me and I was really sad that my cookies always came out burnt! I don’t think it’s that bad this time though. To be honest, the only time I feel really really happy is when I’m with Trixie. But even now, sometimes when we’re together, my chest hurts and I feel sad. Like looking at her is kinda painful. Anyway, Rarity told me that the best thing to do would be to try and gauge Trixie’s affection for me by slowly revealing my feelings. She said that if I show her little by little then I won’t run the risk of hurting our friendship in the long run. I guess it’s worth a try. Who knows? Maybe I’ll feel better. I think tomorrow I’m going to bring her a flower. Red Hibiscus is her favorite. She said the taste reminds her of cinnamon. I know Roseluck and her sisters always have plenty of flowers, all year long!
Entry Thirteen
They had one, they had one! Trixie was so surprised when I showed up at her door and gave her that flower. I think I even saw her blush! Did I ever mention just how cute she is when she blushes? I guess not since I don’t think I’ve ever seen her blush! I could tell that things were different tonight, though. I thought that maybe there might be some awkwardness or nervousness or somethingness. But there wasn’t! We snuggled up, drank our cocoa, and talked. It was just like every other night, but every now and then I’d catch Trixie looking at me in a weird way. Not bad weird, but good weird! She would always try to play it cool though and look away. The first time it happened she used it as an excuse to pull the blanket from the back of the couch over us. I don’t know if she meant to or not, but she laid her tail across mine too. I don’t know if she’s starting to see me in a different light or what, but I think I’m definitely making progress. I’m not going to rush it though. Because this might just as new for her as it is for me! So I think tomorrow I’m just going to go over there and do what we always do.
Entry Fourteen
She didn’t want to see me tonight. When I knocked on her door she opened it, apologized and said she had some work to do. Did I do something wrong? I hope I didn’t come on too strong. Before now, for the past two weeks, even if we were both super busy we’d always make time for each other. Even if it was only a little while. Maybe I’m overthinking things. I guess I’ll just wait to see what tomorrow brings.
Entry Fifteen.
Sorry that I haven’t written in you for so long, diary. I don’t even remember when the last time was. A week ago, I think? I feel bad for not paying you enough attention. It’s probably because I’ve been so sad lately. I haven’t seen much of Trixie lately. We haven’t had our usual nights in in so long. I don’t think she wants to be friends with me anymore. I tried to bring her some cupcakes to the spa, but she said she was too busy. I left them for her anyway. I said she could eat them on her lunch break. I haven’t tried talking to her since. Twilight and Rarity both came by to see me today. They said they’d noticed that I haven’t been my usual self, even though I’ve been acting so hard to be. I actually cried. I told them everything. They didn’t really say much. But they hugged me a lot and told me that everything would be okay. They really are the best of friends. Don’t worry, diary. I know you’re my friend too. I just wish I knew what to do about Trixie. If she would at least tell me that she didn’t want to see me anymore, then that would be okay too. At least then I would know.
Entry Sixteen
I saw Trixie today, diary. I was at the marketplace stocking up on things for the new cold spell the pegasi were talking about when I saw her. She was buying some apples from Applejack. I got so happy for a minute. I just wanted to run up to her and hug her and tell her that I’m sorry for everything. But I didn’t. I know she wouldn’t want to see me. So I went back to my shopping. Right when I was getting ready to leave, though, guess who came up to me. Yup! It was Trixie. She told me that she’s sorry for avoiding me. She wanted to know if I would come over tomorrow night for cocoa. I told her I would. I don’t really know what to expect, though. I guess I’ll find out when I get there.
Entry Seventeen
Good morning, diary! Wow was last night unexpected. So I went over to Trixie’s like I said I would. At first it felt very, very weird. We didn’t touch, and we hardly talked for the longest time. Finally she broke down and started crying into her cocoa. I had no idea what was wrong! Had I made her cry? Was I the reason she was so upset? All I knew to do was to sweep her up in a big hug and hold her as tight as I could. She held on to me just as tight. And while I know she was sad, it still felt really, really good to hold her. She smelled like lilacs and fancy shampoo. I loved it. When she finally stopped crying enough to talk, she started rushing out apology after apology. She said that she had never had another pony show any kind of feelings for her before. She had been hated and disliked for so much of her life that when she caught on to what I was doing and how I was feeling, she started to get scared. Which is why she had been avoiding me. Turns out she was worried about the same thing I was! She didn’t want to ruin our friendship. I told her that it was okay, that there was nothing to worry about. And then I lied to her. I feel so awful about it! But...I saw how much I was hurting her. So instead of telling her that I love her, I told her that it was just a silly crush and was not even worth mentioning again. We spent the rest of the night cuddled on the couch. When she finally fell asleep, I cried. I haven’t ever been so heart broken in my life. But now that I know that I have a true friend like Trixie, even if she doesn’t want to be with me like that, I think I’ll be okay. I’m a strong Pinkie. Like I always say, some days are dark and lonely. And if you feel sad, Pinkie will be there to show you that it isn’t that bad. Even if that means I have to show myself, sometimes. I think, though, that I need to talk to another pony. I need to see my Granny Pie. Tomorrow I’m going to tell the Cakes and all my friends that I’m going to go away for a while. If anypony can make me feel better, it’ll be my Granny Pie. She’s the smartest pony I know. Sorry that you can’t come with me, diary. But I need a break from you, too. With all my love! I’ll see ya real soon.
Entry Eighteen
Wow! Diary I feel like I haven’t written to you in sooo long! I know it’s only been a month, but sheesh! I can’t believe you’re still right where I left you! I know! A whooole month! Feels like forever, doesn’t it? Don’t worry! I’m gonna fill you in on everything! So remember how I was all sad when I left? Well I went and saw my Granny Pie and she made it all better. She lives all the way outside of New Appleloosa now. And whoo was that a long train ride all by myself! But it totally ended up being worth it! I had so much fun! It was like I was a little filly all over again. For once somepony baked for me, and sang me songs! We played games, ate lots of yummy food, and I helped her around the house! It was the best trip I’ve taken in a long time. Of course she knew something was wrong when I first came knocking on her door. The very first thing I did was break down crying, AGAIN, in her hooves. I told her everything about what had happened with Trixie. She held me for what felt like two solid days. She didn’t give me any advice, but I know she didn’t have too. Her being there was simply enough. And when I felt well enough to finally get out of bed, she had the biggest tray of super duper chocolate chip fudge cookies I had ever seen! The rest of the time I was there was a blast. She even taught me a new recipe! I can’t wait to show my friends. She never once brought up what I had told her about, Trixie, though. At least not until I was walking out the door. She stopped me, gave me another big hug, and told me that I’m special, and that I deserve a really special pony to call my own. Whether or not it’s Trixie wasn’t up to anypony BUT Trixie. But for now, I shouldn’t worry about it. I have friends who miss me and who want to see me! And do you know what, diary? She was totally right! How can anypony be sad when it’s so pretty outside?! All the snow! None of my friends know I’m home yet. They all think I’ll be back tomorrow, so they’re meeting after Sugarcube Corner closes. I’ll have such a big party for them! I sure missed all of them. No, diary, I still don’t know what I’m going to do about Trixie. All I know is that I need to tell her how I really feel, and apologize like crazy for lying to her. If she’s a true friend like I know she is, she’ll understand and forgive me. And if she’s my special somepony, then maybe we can be happy together. If she’s not, then that’s okay too. Because we’ll always be friends. Anyway, diary, it’s been fun catching up! But you know as well as I do that I’ve got a lot to do tomorrow, so I need to wake up early. I’m also super sleepy from the train ride. If I don’t write in you tomorrow, then I definitely will the next day!