It was a beautiful morning. The sun shined brightly across the horizon in a way that made it seem majestic.
"Shhjxnx......." Mark murmured.
The boy had been sleeping peacefully, with no annoying as hell alarms to wake him up. Except for....
"Puurrrr.." A little voice made.
"Frrrr ff." Mark murmured.
He then felt something moved into his blanket.
"Purrrr..." It did again.
"Fuck ff." Mark muttered, already getting pissed off.
But the thing moved up to his neck and began rubbing into it, "purring" as it did so. That was enough to piss Mark off, who threw off his blanket violently, and grabbed the thing with his hand.
"FUCK OFF!!!!!!!" Mark yelled at it. He was about to throw it out the window next to him, until he heard another "purr.."
"The hell?" Mark wondered, opening his hand to reveal a little black bug with two big yellow eyes staring at him with a smile. It was a Parasprite.
"Oh hey little guy, you lost or somethin?"
The Parasprite continued to smile. That is, until it stretched its jaws out.
"Ah shit.." Mark sighed.
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(Que T.I.E opening with bgm as "Skyhook" by Dance Gavin Dance)
Ch. 10: Parasprites and Barfights!
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Matt was in Rarity's Botique, getting his size checked by the fashion designer.
"Am I done yet?" Matthew asked.
Not yet darling. Just a few more minutes and it will be done." Rarity assured.
"You said that an hour ago." Matthew whined.
"Would you just stop fussing? You are lucky as it is to get free clothes from me.
The boy had no choice but to do what he was told.
"Hey guys." The two looked to see Fluttershy entering the botique.
"Oh hey." Matthew waved, but stopped when receiving a scowl from Rarity.
"Matthew please be still or I'll have to start over." Rarity informed him.
That alone made Matt stand as firm as he could, not wanting to have to stand for another good couple of hours.
"What brings you here darling?" Rarity asked.
"Well I was trying to find somepony to take care of this little-" Suddenly, two or three little creatures that resembled cute and cuddly flies flew out of her mane.
"Oh shit!" Matthew cursed, tripping over himself as he quickly backed away from the Parasprites.
"What's wrong Matthew?" Fluttershy asked, her and Rarity looking at him as if he were a madman.
"Huh? Oh its uh, its nothing. Absolutely nothing at all." Matthew muttered the last part, staring at the Parasprites that were gazing upon him with big smiles.
"Look. I got to go do something right now. I'll be back though, so don't worry Rarity." Matthew said, putting back on his dirty and ragged looking clothes.
(Dang. I really need new clothes.) Matthew thought to himself.
Rarity extended her hoof out to him. "But wait! Mat-"
The door was slammed shut, leaving the two mares in awkward silence.
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"Oh crap, crap, crap. This is horrible. I need to get to Mark and tell him about all this." Matthew said, running all the way back to the mansion. He then opened the door.
"Mark! We got a problem! Its the parasprites! Flut-" He then saw the whole house infested with Parasprites, and Mark in the other room with a flyswatter and a spray of bug repellent that didn't seem to work against them.
"Damn piece of shits! Get the fuck out of here!" Mark roared, attempting to swat any Parasprite he could.
"Mark, what the fuck?"
"You tell me brainiac! This is your place too!"
Then a bunch of Parasprites came from behind and lifted him up from the ground.
"Put me down you little twatstains! I said put me down!" Mark yelped trying to grab on to anything he could grab and swat them off.
"Mark!"
Mark turned to see Matthew running towards him and grabbed his hands, pulling him back. The Parasprites noticed this and more began pulling on Mark.
"Mark! No!"
"Don't let me go Matt! I'm sorry for any shit I caused for you, but for god's sake, please don't let me go!"
"I'm trying!"
the Parasprites slowly but surely were winning the little tug of war as more and more began pulling.
"Mark!" Matthew yelled, straining to pull him back.
"I'm not supposed to die!" Mark said, before the Parasprites successfully pulled him away from Matthew's grasp and began taking him downstairs into the basement.
"Matthew! I swear I'm going to haunt you if I die!!" Mark hollered, before the door closed and was locked by the bugs.
Matthew then attempted to break the door down but to no avail. The door stood still.
"Aaaaaaaaaaaaghhhh!!!!!!!!!" Matthew heard before a loud snap noise was heard.
"....Mother of god." Matthew muttered, immediately running out of the house and back to Ponyville.
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"So what yer sayin is a whole group of those things Fluttershy found came into yall's house and now they got yer brother in the basement?" Applejack said with a skeptical look, along with the other five friends, who seemed not to believe anything the twin had told them.
"Yes! Exactly! Now we got to go save my brother! c'mon!" Matthew said, motioning for them to follow.
"You know how dumb you sound right now?" Rainbow Dash piped up.
"Yeah, I know exactly how it sounds and it is the truth! Matthew protested.
"Is this one those things they call a joke? because, I'm not well acquainted with that term." Twilight said.
"This isn't a joke, cuz I sure as hell ain't laughin. For all I know he could be dead due to how long y'all are dragging this out!" Matthew yelled.
"Dead?" Pinkie Pie asked.
"Yes. the absence of life or whatever, so before that happens we need to move our asses towards the mansion!" Matthew said before leaving the girls behind.
The six ponies looked at eachother, before following behind.
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The group eventually got to Mark and Matt's house, where upon opening the door, everything looked like normal.
"Um, Matt? I thought you said this place was really damaged when the those things were here." Twilight said, staring at the younger twin.
"I-it was just moments ago. I don't get it." Matthew said.
Right then, the group jumped at the sound of someone in the kitchen.
"Wh-what was that? Applejack said nervously.
"I don't know, but one thing's for sure, we're gonna find out." Matthew told them, as they gathered up the courage to go and see what was in there.
Suddenly, they immediately heard the sound of plates clattering in the kitchen.
The ponies and human then looked around the corner to find Mark sitting at the table with his food.
"Mark?!" Matthew exclaimed, immediately rushing to his elder brother.
"Back off homo, I want to eat." Mark replied, motioning for Matthew to fuck off.
"Ok what is going on here?! I thought this place was wrecked! How did it get repaired so fast?! Why-" Twilight was then cut off by Mark raising his hand for her to be quiet.
"One question at a time, teacher's pet. This house WAS ruined, but they repaired it." Mark stated calmly.
"Who repaired it?" Twilight asked.
Mark then put his dish in the sink and told them.
"The Parasprites, of course."
Pinkie then looked shocked.
"They're here?!" Pinkie yelled in panic.
Mark raised his hands in air to calm her.
"No! Not anymore! I took care them." Mark said.
Suddenly a black parasprite flew onto Mark's head, where it made itself comfortable.
" Uh Mark? On your head?" Rainbow Dash pointed.
Mark immediately grabbed the little insect, which made a squeaky sound as he did so.
"You again...."
Everyone watched in horror as Mark's face took on the form of pure malice.
But the little Parasprite only smiled back.
Mark then brought it close to his face.
"Alright, I'm going to pretend that you never flew up onto my head. So I'm going to count to ten. And while I'm counting, I want you to make like a whore's legs and split, otherwise it's going to get fucking ugly. Here we go."
Mark then proceeded to close his eyes and count all the way to ten, but when he was done, he opened his eyes....
..To find the little Parasprite still in his hand.
He then brought his other hand up intimidatingly, making everyone watch in suspense as to what fate would befall the bug.
"I can't watch!" Fluttershy squeaked, covering her eyes with her wings, as everyone braced for the worst.
"C-c'mon Mark, It's just a little Parasp-" Matt was then cut off by Mark.
"It's just a little parasp-SHADDUP!" Mark mimicked his brother, before yelling rather harshly to his younger brother.
"Oh my, what horrible behavior he has." Rarity said quietly.
"Yeah, its living with him that's the tricky part." Matthew muttered back.
That's when Mark's other hand came down upon the other very fast, but stopped just in time from crushing it.
The ponies gasped at what just happened, Matthew only stared in disbelief.
He then retracted his hand back from the parasprite who was still alive and smiling.
Mark then put the Parasprite back on his head, where it got into a comfortable spot and fell asleep.
"I like this one. I think I'll name it....Tiffany."
Everyone then collapsed in a comedic fashion.
(After a while, all the ponies exited out of the house and continued on with their own day.)
"So Mark, how did you get out of the basement?" Matthew questioned.
"Well, since you are useless to a fault. I had to save myself and tug my body out of there." Mark answered.
"Aaaaand, what about the parasprites that were here? How did you give them the boot?" Matthew asked.
"Well, it's quite obvious. I didn't."
This took a minute to process in Matthews mind, his eye twitching a little.
"So you took care of it....... but, they are still inside."
Mark nodded to affirm his answer.
"What the fuck do you mean you took care of it!!???"
"You know, you really don't have to shout." Mark silenced his brother.
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Matthew awoke to a brand new day.
*yawn* "Its already way past noon? Why didn't Mark wake me up before?" He pondered this for a moment, but brushed it aside, making his way to the kitchen for some breakfast.
"Let's see what we got." Matt smiled, opening a cabinet, to find no cereal brands whatsoever.
"Great. Looks like the most important meal of the day is off the table." Matthew grumbled.
He then prepared to head out to get sugar products, but found a note taped on the door.
"What's this?" Matthew wondered, ripping the note off the door to see what this message held.
(Dear bitch, went to a super cool place. Be back later. Peace faggot. Sincerely, Marky Mark.)
"Jerk." Matthew said, crumbling up the paper and tossing it into the trash can, before opening the front door to find another note.
(P.S. I ate the last of the cereal so would you kindly buy some more?)
"Yeah right, buy it yourself you prick."
He walked down the street, before seeing the Sugar Cube Corner.
"Bingo. A good place to satisfy my hunger." Matthew chuckled, waling into the store.
"Hiya Matty! What can I get for you today?" Pinkie asked cheerfully, like always.
"Just give me the usual. Do you happen to know where Mark went?" Matthew asked.
Pinkie shrugged, before walking into the back of the store to get the order ready.
"God, where did he go?" Matthew said to himself aloud.
"Lookin f'er sumeone like ya? Its already too late."
Matthew turned around to see a dark figure in the corner.
"Who are you?" Matthew asked suspiciously.
The pony then stepped out into the light.
"The name's Winkledick."
Matthew wanted to hurl. This stallion looked very disturbing, it looked very old, it's jaw was huge, one of it's front hooves was deformed, and it's cutie mark was an 8=D.
"Dear God, what happened to you?!" Matthew exclaimed.
"Oh don't worry. I won't be any trouble. Ah'm j'es tellin' yu d'at finding your brother is like askin' f'er a death wish." The mysterious stallion told him.
"What happened to Mark?!" Matthew asked the grotesque looking pony.
"Let's j'es say that anyone that went where he went, don't come back." The stallion told the boy.
"Where did he go?" Matt demanded to know, for the sake of rescuing his brother.
"He went to a bar in the outskirts, north of Ponyville. It's called the Lusty Mare." Winkledick replied.
"Well have you ever been there before?" Matthew asked him, now nervous of this bar that Mark went to.
"Yes." The elder pony said.
"Then how did you get out of there?" Matthew asked the deformed stallion.
Winkledick then motioned with his small front hoof for the younger twin to come close. Matthew did so, where Winkledick then whispered into his ear.
"Ah didn't."
Suddenly, the pony deteriorated quickly into a rotting corpse, making Matthew scream.
"Matty? Watch'ya screamin' for?" Pinkie asked, a little worry in her voice.
Matthew looked at her, then back to the corpse, only to find that it wasn't there.
"D-did you see that?! T-there was a pony here!" Matthew cried.
Pinkie giggled.
"There's nopony here Matty! You must been seein' things." Pinkie flat out told him.
Matthew sighed.
"something bad's just waiting to happen. I can feel it."
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It started to get dark, as Matthew was walking in the outskirts to find this bar, getting jumpscared a few times by timberwolf howls and owls hooting.
"I can't believe I'm actually doing this. Was I really hallucinating back at Sugar Cube Corner?" Matthew whimpered in fear, eyeing his surroundings.
He continued like this for a few minutes where, sure enough, he heard lots of yelling and there was a bar, the name "Lusty Mare", written on it.
"You got to be kidding." Matthew groaned. He didn't want to go in there, but it was to save his brother.
He then took a deep breath, and began for the saloon doors.
"Alright. back straight and a confident look. You're taller than these ponies. That should make them a little intimidated of me." Matthew muttered to himself.
He was about to open the saloon doors, but on the right window, a pony flew out.
Matthew looked at the pony, and saw the condition it was in, making him cry in fear on the inside.
(C'mon. I can do this. I can do this!)
And without a moment's notice, he entered the bar.
He looked around to find the whole place completely dark and with drunk ponies (mostly stallions) all over the place, either drinking the alcohol (Probably apple cider), or fighting amongst each other to prove who's tougher.
"Alright. Now to find Mark and get out of here." Matthew whispered to himself.
He continued walking through the place, where he then heard the sound of cheering and drunk singing.
"What the?" Matthew looked to where the source of the noise was, and sure enough, There was Mark, dancing on top of the bar stand, with all these drunk stallions singing and cheering him on.
"Mark"! Matthew yelled, catching Mark's attention.
Mark then jumped off the stand, almost faceplanting himself.
"Oh hey Matt! *hic* This party is *hic* CRAZY!" The older twin grinned.
"Mark, I know you're having a good time and all, but we have to get out of here." Matthew then began to usher Mark out the door, but he wouldn't have none of it.
"Uh, fuck thaat. I ain't gonna go, I likes it here." Mark slurred.
Mark then went back to a group of stallions he was with and joined in on their song, which soon the whole saloon was singing it.
"Well it can't get any worse than this." Matthew groaned
That's when it happened.
"Hey! What's going on here!"
Everyone looked to see none other than Shining Armor and his squadron enter the room.
"Aww great. It's the guards." One intoxicated pony said.
"Who said that? Which one of you drunks said that?!" Shining Armor bellowed.
The whole bar fell silent. Shining Armor let out a smug look.
"That's right. Nopony talks smack about the Royal Guards." The captain chuckled.
All of the drunken stallions just stood as still as they could.
"We have recieved a noise complaint so, all of you had better shut the buck up while i'm gone."
"Yeah, whatever." Muttered snow flake who was in the back of the crowd.
"Hmmm? Snow Flake, my, my, I thought I taught you better manners towards the royal guards the last time i came to this dump of a bar." Shining Armor glared at him.
"It would seem as though i didn't teach you enough!"
The captain began to move towards Snow Flake.
(Jesus, is this how it is behind the scenes of this show??) Matthew thought.
The boy didn't want to see anyone hurt, but he knew if he interfered, then the guards would be his problem.
"Snow Flake!!! Get down!"
Matthew turned to see Mark holding a cider mug.
"MAN FUCK DA POLICE!!!" The mug was thrown at Shining Armor, where it shattered on the back his head.
Shining Armor then slowly turned to the bar stand, where he saw the two. The ones he failed to catch. And he never failed at catching anypony until these two bumbling twits came into the picture.
(Damnit Mark!) Matthew panicked.
"You two again." Shining Armor growled, slowly advancing towards the two.
"Yeah it's us. What you gonna do huh?" Mark said.
"Look, I'm not in the mood to arrest anypony right now, especially you two. I can take you two back to the dungeons if I wanted to. So I suggest you watch what you say or throw at me." Shining Armor told the twins.
"Whoa whoa, he didn't mean of any of that. Come on, can't you tell he's drunk?" Matthew told the captain.
"Yeah faggot. I'm drunk. What gonna do huh?" Mark grinned.
"Say one more thing. Say ONE more thing. I dare you, if you're feeling tough, say ONE more thing." Shining Armor threatened, ready to get into a tussle.
Mark then went up into Shining Armor's face.
(Que "X Gonna Give It To Ya" By DMX )
"Come at me......BRO." Mark then sucker punched Shining Armor, sending the captain reeling back.
The drunkards all laughed and cheered for Mark, who raised his hand like some sort of champion, until a guard came and hoofed him in the gut, bringing him to his knees.
"Ah fuck." Mark groaned.
"What's wrong now? What happened to all that vigor?" The guard laughed.
"Hey! Nobody messes with Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch!"
A huge group of drunkards then attacked the guards, where it then became an all out fight club.
"REVOLUTION!!!!!" One stallion yelled out.
Soon, the bar was flying with furniture and mugs, along with tooths getting knocked out of mouths.
"How could that have gotten so worse so quickly!?"
"Mark!" Matthew looked around for his brother, occasionally having to dodge flying mugs and bottles of Apple Cider.
Shining Armor right then recovered from the sucker punch, immediately searching now for any of the twins.
He continued looking around , until he caught something from the corner of his eye.
"There!" Shining Armor quickly went over to the location, and found Mark attempting to crawl out of bar.
"The lonesome cub thinks he's lofty." Shining Armor slowly trotted to Mark.
"I-uh, don't suppose we can talk this over?" Mark asked, slightly fearful.
"I told you. I'm not letting you get away again. I am captain of the Roy-" Shining Armor was then knocked down by a straight hook from Matthew.
"Mark! C'mon! We got to get out of here!" The younger twin began helping his sibling up.
Matthew then felt a hoof grab his shoulder.
He then turned to get punched directly in the face, where was then sent sliding across the bar stand, knocking over any mugs or bottles that were left on it.
"At least make this a bucking challenge." Shining laughed while rubbing his jaw, now focused on the younger twin.
Matthew slowly got up, ready to fight back, but Shining Armor levitated multiple mugs and sent them straight at the twin. Matthew was hit from all sides by the mugs, one even hitting at every man's weakest spot, making him fall over.
"Ahh, my gonads!!!" Matthew groaned, as Shining Armor approached him.
Shining Armor then was about to land another shot on him, but Matthew immediately swept his leg at the captain's leg, tripping him. The boy then jumped into the air and was about to hit the stallion with an elbow drop, but was sent back by a wave of energy from Shining Armor.
Then the pony raised Matthew up and flung him into a wall with his magic.
The twin slumped down, and was pinned by the captain's magic.
"Come on whatever you are, just give up now. I understand you're trying to protect him, but y'all need to turn yourselves in. You both have violated a crime by hitting me, so make it easy and come quietly." Shining Armor said.
"Hey faggot!!" Mark yelled, jumping on the back of Shining Armor.
"W-what do you think you are doing!? Get off of me!" The captain screamed.
"Alright, les ride!" Mark spoke looking at Matthew, hoping he would catch his reference.
"Off with you! Unmount me you coward!" Shining Armor yelled bucking with all of his might.
"Make me!" Mark yelled back holding on tight.
Matthew began to feel the magic wear down.
"Hold on Mark! I'm gonna break out of this magic!" Matthew told his brother.
He began to push his body away from the wall slowly but surely.
"Matt, I don't mean to sound pushy but, could you hurry the fuck up!?" Said Mark who was struggling to keep his grip.
"Ffffffffuck! I'm trying!!" Matthew yelled out.
"Well try harder! It ain't fun holding onto the fucking Grand Chawhee over here!!"
Matthew felt like his muscles were gonna rip at any moment. His arms were burning with pain.
"Rrrraaaaaagh!!!" Matthew yelled as he finally broke out, and fell to the ground.
"Whew.... that was........ too much....." He gasped for a breather.
"Matthew!!" Mark yelled.
Matthew looked up to see a bloodshot eyed Shining Armor knocking the drunkards and guards out of the way to ram him with Mark hanging onto his tail.
"Enough of this foolishness!!!" Shining yelled as blasted a shockwave throughout the bar knocking everyone back and pinning them to the walls with his magic.
Mark got pinned right next to his brother.
"Welp, looks like we is fucked huh?" Mark told Matt.
"Don't fucking talk to me." Matt glared at him.
Shining Armor approached the two in a menacingly manner.
"C-c'mon man, can't you just let us go? I mean, it was a mistake. I promise we won't hit you again. Honest." Matthew pleaded.
"What is your name.." Shining Armor asked, eyeing Mark occasionally.
"Matthew." The twin told the captain.
"Sorry Matthew, but rules are rules. I'm taking the both of you....whatever you are back to the cell. And you two were considered dangerous." Shining Armor said firmly.
"Wait, Celestia-"
"Princess Celestia." Shining Armor cut in.
PRINCESS Celestia, didn't she make it known that we were okay? That we posed no threat?" Matthew asked.
"She did?!" Shining Armor gasped in disbelief.
"Yeah, she did." Matthew replied.
The magic was then released from everyone inside the bar.
"Oh, by Starswirl's beard! Please forgive my rash behavior!" Shining Armor helped the teens up.
"Oh its quite alright. If any case it should be me apologizing." Matthew quickly said back.
"Well at least we got that out of the way. GUARDS!!!!! FRONT AND CENTER!!!!!" Right then all the fighting stopped as the Royal Guards appeared right before the two.
"Men, that is enough, these two are alrig-"
WHACK!!!!!!!!!!!!
Matthew and the guards stared in disbelief as they just witnessed Shining Armor be knocked out by none other than Mark, who strike him in the back of his head with a mug.
Mark only looked stared at the unconscious form of the stallion, satisfied with the result.
"That's what you get. Motherfucker." Mark growled.
Matthew stared horrified at what his brother had committed, now knowing they were officially screwed.
"Mark you stupid ass fuc-" Matthew was cut off by the guards dog piling on the twins, and with the two ultimately ending with their arrest.
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"Uhh......Where the fuck?" Mark looked around, finding Matt and himself in a cell.
"Ooooooohh.... my head feels like it's spinning in all directions...."
He then rubbed his eyes and got up to move, but felt something pull at his left leg.
"What the?" Mark looked at his leg and saw it was chained to a huge heavy stone.
"Matt."
No response.
"Matt!"
Still no response.
Mark then stretched his leg toward Matthew as close as he could before kicking him.
"Wake up slut!!" Mark yelled.
Matthew yawned, opening his eyes and noticed both him and Mark in the prison as well.
"what..... happened?" Matthew asked.
"Uhhhh, i think i got us arrested. That's what happened."
The room then went into awkward silence.
"You stupid ass fucktard. " Matthew muttered.
"Oh....look what we got here."
Both twins looked at the opposite cell and noticed two dark figures in it.
"......Mark, if we get raped in the shower room, it's all your fault."
TO BE CONTINUED........