Here You Go Razor (25)
Snowflame, having been denied his chance for cocaine distribution starts to think of alternatives. He thinks that maybe Discord can help later. He puts these thoughts aside as he realizes he is really in the mood for some delicious pancakes. The Warrior’s enthusiasm for them earlier has infected him.
He sings this aloud as he walks Sugarcube Corner
Along the way he sees Derpy and “Time Turner”
Snowflame: Hi fan favorite and time machine pony (waves)
“Time Turner”: (Shocked) What in the world was that?
Derpy: Oh that’s just Snowflame, he’s a human from another dimension
“Time Turner”: Oh…What did he mean by time machine pony?
Derpy:….I have no idea
Snowflame enters Sugar Cube Corner where he sees the Ultimate Warrior with countless empty syrup covered plates surrounding him and his table while other patrons look slightly afraid of him
Warrior: The Warrior demands more battered breakfast treats to indulge his sweet syrupy whores Jemima and Buttersworth!!!
Pinkie: Sorry Mr. Warrior, you ate all the pancakes
Snowflame: aaawwww man
Warrior: Then bring me the crunchy square pancakes with heavenly syrup containers otherwise known as Waffles!
Pinkie: Okie Dokie Lokie!
Snowflame: Snowflame could go for some of those too, though Snowflame still wishes he had pancakes
Pinkie: Sure thing Snowfy
Snowflame takes a seat
Snowflame: You should slow down, you’ll spoil your appetite for Dragon BBQ later.
Warrior: Nonsense, my stomach is a vast and expansive wasteland full of boxes, I can eat all the Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinners, just because you can’t eat them all doesn’t mean I can’t!
Snowflame feels like he is being called out
Snowflame: Oh Yeah?! Snowflame will show you, Snowflame will eat 50 Waffles, AT THE SAME TIME!!!!
Obito walks out to bring more syrup while Pinkie get’s 100 waffles ready
Snowflame: Oh hai assassin pony, Snowflame sees the pink pony straightened you out
Obito is a bit nervous
Obito: umm…yes
Warrior: You are the clawed Assassin? Ha! The Warrior could use you as a toothpick
Obito: uuuhhhhh….
Snowflame: Easy kid, Snowflame won’t hurt you (Pulls his head down and whispers into his ear menacingly) unless you do anything to the Pink Pony, and Snowflame means Anything, then Snowflame will do horrible unspeakable things to you that this story will have to add a Dark Tag to it, (Let’s his head go) So we cool (Smiles)
Obito: Oh yeah! (Gulp) Definitely (Smiles awkwardly) Besides, I saw what you both did in the paper
(Holds up Paper and Snowflame unfolds it and puts it on the table) and both Snowflame and the Ultimate Warrior laugh at that
Snowflame: ha ha ha…Good times
Warrior: I liked it when we fought in the club
Obito: Ya, so I’m not gonna try anything, like ever again
Snowflame: Don’t worry, it’s your employer Snowflame is going to demolish with his new friend here, we have someone looking around for him right now
"Snowflame wants waffles!!!"
"..."
"..."
"Okie Dokie Lokie!"
"Yes, bring Snowflame the waffles!"
Snowflame, having been denied his chance for cocaine distribution starts to think of alternatives. He thinks that maybe Discord can help later. He puts these thoughts aside as he realizes he is really in the mood for some delicious pancakes. The Warrior’s enthusiasm for them earlier has infected him. He desides to sing aloud as he walks Sugarcube Corner, "Bacon pancakes, makin' bacon pancakes,
Take some bacon and Snowflame'll put it in a pancake,
Bacon pancakes, that's what it's gonna make,
Bacon pancake!"
Along the way he sees Derpy and “Time Turner”, "Hi fan favorite and time machine pony." He says waving.
“Time Turner” is shocked and asks Derpy, "What in the world was that?"
"Oh that’s just Snowflame, he’s a human from another dimension." His fiancee tells him.
"Oh…What did he mean by time machine pony?"
"I have no idea."
Snowflame enters Sugar Cube Corner where he sees the Ultimate Warrior with countless empty syrup covered plates surrounding him and his table while other patrons look slightly afraid of him
"The Warrior demands more battered breakfast treats to indulge his sweet syrupy whores Jemima and Buttersworth!" The Warrior shouts, slamming a fist upon the table.
"Sorry Mr. Warrior, you ate all the pancakes." Pinkie Pie says.
"Aaaawwww man." Snowflame says saddened.
"Then bring me the crunchy square pancakes with heavenly syrup containers otherwise known as Waffles!" The Warrior demands.
"Okie Dokie Lokie!" Pinkie says.
"Snowflame could go for some of those too, though Snowflame still wishes he had pancakes." Snowflame states.
"Sure thing Snowfy" Pinkie then bounces off.
Snowflame takes a seat next to The Ultimate Warrior, "You should slow down, you’ll spoil your appetite for Dragon BBQ later."
"Nonsense, my stomach is a vast and expansive wasteland full of boxes, I can eat all the Breakfast, Lunch, and Dinners, just because you can’t eat them all doesn’t mean I can’t!" The Warrior explains.
Snowflame feels like he is being called out and says "Oh Yeah?! Snowflame will show you, Snowflame will eat 50 Waffles, AT THE SAME TIME!!!!"
That's when Obito walks out to bring more syrup while Pinkie get’s 100 waffles ready.
"Oh hai assassin pony, Snowflame sees the pink pony straightened you out."
"Umm…yes." Obito says sounding a bit nervous
"You are the clawed Assassin? Ha! The Warrior could use you as a toothpick!" The Warrior says laughing.
"Uuuhhhhh…." Is the only reaction that Obito can make.
"Easy kid, Snowflame won’t hurt you, any more than he already has" Snowflame says before he pulls his head down and menacingly whispers into Obito's ear, "Unless you do anything to the Pink Pony, and Snowflame means Anything, then Snowflame will do horrible unspeakable things to you that this story will have to add a Dark Tag to it." He brings his head back up, "So we cool?"
"Oh yeah! *Gulp* Definitely Besides, I saw what you both did in the paper." he then holds up paper with his magic and Snowflame takes it, unfolds it and puts it on the table. Both Snowflame and The Ultimate Warrior laugh at that.
Snowflame laughs and says, "Good times."
"I liked it when we fought in the club." The Warrior says.
"Ya, so I’m not gonna try anything, like ever again." Obito says.
"Don’t worry, it’s your employer Snowflame is going to demolish with his new friend here, we have someone looking around for him right now." Snowflame tells the Ex-Assassin.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile in Canterlot...
Discord:
Since you are more than likely about to go on a montage of information gathering, some 80's montage music seems necessary right now. I recommend this.
Meanwhile Discord does the wandering montage like Razor said, he finds it hard to get information since a lot of ponies kind of hate Snowflame now since he wrecked quite a few stores, until he comes across Vinyl and Octavia who give him details about how Blueblood was talking about Snowflame.
Discord: Well that sounds promising
Teleports to Sugar Cube Corner
Discord: Hi Snowflame, I think I know who hired the assassin, it was
Discord, still in the form of ponified John De Lancie, walks around Canterlot talking to as many ponies as he can, trying to find if he can get any information on who would hire somepony to kill Snowflame, though the responses he got were mostly something like, "Well it's a good thing that someponies trying to get rid of that creature.", so yeah, it turns out that ponies don't like it if you destroy half of downtown Canterlot, go figure.
"Seriously, why did they have to destroy the sex shop?" One stallion said to him, who looked like a stereotypical loser, overweight, pimples, neckbeard, balding, and he probably liked stuff meant for little fillies, "I mean now where will I get that new issue of Plotz Monthly?"
"Why do you even need porn mags?" Discord asks in a monotone voice, "What's the point? Ponies are normal naked." Discord said, though he felt weird saying this, since he was pointing out logic in something, and he wasn't sure why.
The loser pony eyes widened and he says, "By Celestia I've wasted my money. Well I'm off to stare at some plot!" He said trotting off.
"Well I want to bleach that guy out of my memory." Discord says to himself as he sees to mares walking by, one a white unicorn, the other a grey earth pony. "Excuse me ladies, I'm looking for someone who tried to have a friend of mine killed. Do you know anypony who might want someone named Snowflame dead?"
"Snowflame?" The grey mare asked.
"Oh the ape guy." The white one says, "He crashed into my gig yesterday fighting some other ape, it was awesome."
"An ape you say?" The grey mare asks, "Wait Vinyl, didn't hooded stallion who came to our apartment the other day say something about an ape."
"Oh yeah, I think so. While you were beating him with my bass. I wonder who that guy was? You got any idea's Tavi?"
"You know, now that I think of it he sounded a lot like Prince Blueblood." Octavia then looks and Discord and says, "Maybe he's the one you're looking for."
Discord nods and says, "Thanks you ladies.", before he teleports away to Ponyville.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at Sugarcube Corner...
"Ha! You thought that you could defeat me, Snowflame?!" Snowflame shouts, having eaten more waffles than The Warrior.
"I am a bit disapointed in myself, but good game, my friend!" The Warrior responds.
That's when with a flash of light Discord appears, back in his normal form, and say, "I think I know who hired the first assassin."
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Meanwhile at Rarity's...
Spike:
You just slept with Rarity. How does that make you feel?
At Rarity’s
Spike wakes up and sees her sleeping, she won’t have any energy for awhile. He thinks about how he’ll repay Discord. Maybe he’ll give him the diaries of all the girls (Except Rarity, he still wants to keep getting laid) He decides to go get breakfast and begins walking to Sugarcube Corner since he has the combined stamina of a dragon and Bruce Campbell and isn’t even tired. Rarity will sleep until nightfall where she will be extremely sore.
Spike wakes up, seeing that Rarity has fallen asleep and he thinks to himself, 'Well Spike you did it, you slept with Rarity, was it as great as you though it would be? HELL BUCKING YES! I really am going to need to repay Discord in some way.'
Spike leans over an gives her a small peck on the cheek before walking out to see the others.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Back at Canterlot Castle...
Celestia:
After Luna leaves, realize that Discord was the best you've had in well...... however long it's been since you've last done it, and that is saying something.
Luna:
With all the implied sex that seems to have happened in this chapter. Secretly get jealous.
YOU WERE ON THE MOON FOR 1000 YEARS WHEN IS IT GONNA BE YOUR TURN!!!?????
At the Castle, Celestia is still feeling intense amount of shame, not only because of what she did with Discord, but because she really did enjoy it. She feels like she should go sit in the shame car. Luna is a bit jealous (Since she’s been celibate on the freaking moon for a thousand years), but now she can throw this situation in Celestia’s face whenever she wants
After Luna leaves, after telling Celestia about Blueblood's escape from the mental hospital, Celestia just sat in her bed feeling ashamed about herself, 'How could it have done something like that? With Discord out of anypony? And how could I have even enjoyed that? No wait, I didn't enjoy it, I love every me damned second of it. Letting him trust, wrapping my legs around him, begging for more. I need some serious time to think about this.'
Out in the hall way Luna was smiling at how she could easily bring this up to miss with her sister, though at the same time was kinda jealous since she hasn't been with anypony since her banishment to the moon, well she did almost sleep with one of her lunar guards, but...
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Three Months Ago, In Luna's Bedroom...
"DOES THOU LIKE THEE PRINCESS OF THE NIGHT'S MOUTH AROUND THEE'S THROBBING PONY MEMBER?!!!
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
...yeah.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
At Fancypant's Manor...
Blueblood:
Okay, for Zant, that is kind of the last straw. He's been... well, you know how he's been. Ever since you all escaped from the mental asylum. So do what you do best. Get Angry. Get REALLY Angry and start yelling at them.
Yell at them about how YOU are in charge here and they should be doing what YOU say, cause YOU are the important one here.
During your tirade of rage, give a quick recap of all the insane sh*t that happened to get you in the situation and why you are doing what it is you are doing in the first place.
However, since it's you, during your tirade, accidentally tell them that the real reason you are doing this is to compensate for your minuscule penis size.
Zant: I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR PENIS MY LORD!
Blueblood:
Suddenly realize what you, and Zant just said. However, given who you just told it too, they're probably gonna forget it in a moment anyway. Still...
"Yeah, please don't ever say that again."
Yes, this was all a setup just so I could make that joke. 
What, it works for Blueblood.
Meanwhile at the Legion of Doom (Fancy Pants Manor)
Blueblood does what Razor said, laying down the law to the others and getting Zant in line (Sort of) but also letting slip about his minuscule penis size.
But also Disco Dance sings Itsy Bitsy spider after what Blueblood says
Zant: Can I still say hello to Midna when we get there though my lord?
Blueblood: ….Sure (frustrated and embarrassed)
"Okay Zant that is enough!" Blueblood shouts at the crazy stallion, "May I remind you that I am calling the shots here?!
You're going to do what I say, when I say it! For Celestia's sake, I wouldn't even be in this situation if it weren't for that ape Snowflame. Who does he think he is ruining my amazing coat. Do you know how hard it is to work on a get coat like the one I had?! I need my good looks to distract mare from my really small penis and..."
"I WILL DO ANYTHING FOR YOUR PENIS MY LORD!" Zant shouts.
Blueblood's eye widened as he realizes what both he and Zant just said and says, "Please don't say that ever again, and just teleport us to Ponyville."
"Can I still say hello to Midna while we're there?" Zant asks.
"Sure, fine, whatever." Blueblood says, as Zants horn lit up, and with a flash of light the four of them were gone.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
In the Black Hole...
In the Black Hole
The voices have a laugh at the slip of the tongue that Blueblood had. They agree that with a penis that small, he would be very useful in overcompensating and taking revenge on Snowflame. They won’t even have to interfere, just sit back and watch since he’s already on a beeline for him.
The first voice is laughing his ass off when he finally says, "Oh man did you hear what he said?"
"Indeed, seems that the pony prince has the wee men." The second voice says.
"Yes, humorous, though it seems that he's going to Ponyville now." The third voice points out.
"It seems we won't even have to do anything." The fourth voice says, "Perfect."
