Stick Up Artists

by A Pony Typewriter


Up North

A Merryweather Cargo Jet

"Mayday, mayday, mayday," said the co-pilot, "this is flight M-W-0-1-3 anyone copy?!"

"We're loosing engine two!" shouted the flight engineer.

"Re-start on engine number two!" stated the captain.

"Fuel's dropping on engine one and three !" said the flight engineer.

The pilot of the craft looked up, and shut down the jet's number two engine to in hope to restart. The pilot push buttons and switches on the aircraft overhead console, there was a dying whine from outside the cockpit, a sign that the engine was successfully shut down, the pilot begin the procedure of starting the engine again, unfortunately all he receive was another dying whine, he tried again. The last attempt of restarting the engine results on the said engine to explode, rocking the aircraft, but enough to knock it out of the sky.

"We lost engine number two!" the flight engineer shouted.

"Any response ?!" asked the captain.

"Not yet," the co-pilot stated, "none from Fort Zancudo or LSIA!"

"We're loosing hydraulics!"
"Send out our coordinates !" commanded the captain.

The co-pilot comply, but the navigation system was nothing but unreadable, the numbers on their coordinate kept changing rapidly giving them no clear position of the aircraft.

"Captain, we've got no coordinate, no heading, no altitude!" cried the co-pilot.

"That's impossible !" said the captain.

"We lost engine number three," the flight engineer said, "fuel on number one is still dropping."

The captain look out of the cockpit windshield, in front was nothing but grey along with snow hitting the windshield, frost accumulates on it's corner, a scene that shouldn't be. As the jet travels, the grey cloud begin to thin out, until there were no more, behind that grey wall, is what surprise them all. After almost half an hour of shouting, there was silence in the cockpit, all three aviators pair of eyes locked on a sight that were to be their last, it was a city, a bright, gleaming city, a contrast to the frozen hell surrounding it, unlike any city they've seen, it was colorful, and in the center of it is a structure that stand tall, unmatched by any other in the vicinity, and they were heading right for it.

"PULL!" shouted the captain as he pull on the control stick.

His co-pilot follow his instruction, and pull on the stick.

"PULL!"

Unable to pull up in time, one of the jet's engine struck struck the tip of the structure, rendering it useless, thus the plane continue to loose altitude and crash outside the city northern outskirt, along with the crew, cargo and passenger.

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Frozen North, Equestria
An hour before

In this remote part Equestria, snow cover every inch of the landscape, the sky is always grey, and wind as cold as ice blow at speed of a hurricane, but it is home to an empire that not long ago made its come back after a thousand year of disappearance. In this barren snow covered desert, Michael opened his eyes, and stood up from his laying position.

"Where the fuck am I ?" he question himself.

The retired bank robber looked around, it wasn't the the desert anymore, all he can see was snow, snow, and more snow. Then he looked down, he was wearing nothing but his tank top and boxer.

"What the ?" said Michael, "where the hell's my clothes?"

He take a look of his surrounding again, Trevor is missing, along with his truck, not to mention his suit, shirt and pants.
Michael began walking forward slowly,in search of his friend. The blowing snow and fast wind making it hard to see anything in front, Michael was walking with no direction, but with a purpose, to search for Trevor and to get out of this cold. As the professional thief walked, he began to wonder where he was right now and how he got here, the first thought to come to Michael was he's at North Yankton, again, but the last thing he remembered he was drinking with Trevor in the desert.

"TREVOR! T!" shout Michael.

There was no response, he kept walking.

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Trevor woke up in the cold, to find himself only wearing underwear with a bottle of Pibwasser in hand. He smash the bottle, but it didn't break, he look at the bottle, it was stuck in snow.

"Snow ? since when do we got snow in Sandy Shores ?"

Realizing he's not drunk, Trevor stood up and looked around, his vision is met with snow and grey sky. He spun around to see a something red among the snow and wind thats hitting his face, the meth dealer walk toward it fighting the raging wind. Trevor find the red figure to be his truck, he jump into it and start the engine, but he was missing something.

"Where's Michael ?"

He stood up on the seat and shouted into the icy wasteland.

"MICHAEL! MIKEY! WHERE ARE YOU?!"

There was no reply, he decided to search for his best friend, Trevor switch on the overhead fog lamp attached to his truck and began moving to search for Michael. After driving for fifteen minutes in the cold, Trevor haven't found Michael yet, he tried his radio scanner for truckers radio chatter, but there was only static and he keep on driving. As Trevor drove, he saw a light, a green light, on the corner of his vision, instantly he turn his truck toward the general direction of the said light at full speed. Reaching the light, Trevor found it was a railway signal, along with a single lane train track, he stop nearby the signal, hoping for train to pass by and ask for help, which means to stop the train and forced any occupant to turn into a search party.

Michael cover his face from the blowing wind, as he walk further into the depth of the Frozen North, shouting his friend's name multiple times, but only the whistle of wind answer. As Michael walk on, the cold started take affect to him, his body shiver uncontrollably, forcing his hand to tighten around his body in an attempt to preserve heat. He then heard something, a sound of a combustible engine, he raise his head to look forward, in the middle of the gray and blowing white, there was light, a green light, and four bright light right next to it.

"TREVOR!" shout Michael.

The sound that came out of MIchael mouth reach Trevor's ears, just barely, but it was enough to caught the meth dealer attention.

"MIKEY! WHERE ARE YOU?!" Trevor shouts back.

Out of the wall of white, on the other side of the track, emerge a figure of a middle age gentleman in his underwear.

"Where the hell you've been ?" Trevor asked.

"Freezing my balls off," Michael answered.

"No great loss," said Trevor, "you don't use it anymore anyways."

Michael gave Trevor a glare as he process what his best friend just said, there are grains of truth in it, a lot of grains.

"Well my thrusting days are over anyways."

"You got any idea where we are ?" asked Trevor.

"North Yankton ?" Michael said.

"Mmmhhh.... too windy,"

"The northern part of Canada ?"

"Still too cold."

"Uhmmm......"

Before Michael can came up with another guess, something big and fast, sped behind him. Both men turn their head towards it, to see a train traveling along the track, then there was a whine of jet engine overhead, they look up to see a fire ball emitted by the sky, as the whine travel further away in the direction similar to the train. Trevor and Michael jump into the car and speed along the track, they quickly catch up with the train as it was moving at a speed slower compare to what they thought, Trevor maneuver his pick-up, positioning it behind the train's caboose.

"CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA CHUGGA WOOOOH WOOOOH!"

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The Equestrian Badland

In one of the many caves in the Badlands, five ponies covered in cloak, hold down a struggling mare. She was uncontrollable after what she did in the ritual, the unicorn mare kept shooting beams of magic in random direction, while screaming incoherent sentences before being subdued.

"Keep holding her down !" ordered the elder pony.

She keep hissing and struggling and saying "I will return" in a distorted and yet male voice.

"North...." said the mare, "NORTH !"

The grunting stop, there was silence and all eyes rest upon the mare.

"My Lord ?" said the elder pony.

"North..... find the ones I sent..... North..." the possessed mare muttered

"Who are those you sent, My Lord ?"

"Creatures...... from beyond Tartarus.....thieves..." said the mare.

"Thieves ?" the elderly stallion asked.

"Heading..... to my throne......the frozen land....."

"The Crystal Empire," the old pony guessed.

"Retrieve.......the creatures......free me from this...... PRISON!!!"

The mare spew out a deafening shriek as her body went limp, the ponies holding and the elder only watch in horror an confusion, once again the cave walls reflect the silence.

"Round up any able stallion we have," commanded the elder unicorn, "we're heading to the king's nest."