The Captain and the Crusaders

by AlfieTrotter


Dinner with the Captain

Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Spike waited outside by the entrance as Pip announced his unexpected departure to the assembled crowd, the familiar unpleasant taste of a party interrupted hung over everypony. His sombre words were met by a mixture of disappointed groans and subdued mutterings as they departed from the hall. But there was no point in dwelling long on the matter, as Pip, Jack and Gilda guided them through the narrow, winding streets to the base of one of the three ship-wrought towers, up a wide stairway. Opening the pocket in his jacket, Pip produced a large copper key and stepped towards the large oaken doors. Through their windows, a dim glow of lanterns filled the hallway and as the chill of night descended they welcomed the warmth within.

“You know, he lives pretty large for a pirate, there’s not much really stopping the somepony from stealing his key and taking over the place.” whispered Spike to the Crusaders, hoping he was out of earshot of their pirate escort, breaking the monotony of quiet.

“I may be reckless, but I’m not deaf, sonny!” called Pip, somewhat annoyed and looking over his shoulder towards Spike, “And yes, that’s a risk I’ve run every day for the past year. Hence the accommodation is shared between me mates and I.”

“Aye, it would be presumptuous of one pony to keep such a large home for himself.” murmured Jack with little fondness in his voice for the alternative lifestyle.

“Besides, he’s a pirate king, voted in place by the pirates, so he does as he chooses.” added Gilda.

“Well, I wouldn’t vote for him.” remarked Spike in an aside, while Pip, still able to hear the dragon’s poor attempts to conceal his voice, brushed it off as he pushed both doors wide open.

“Please make yerselves right at home.” He said, flaunting a welcoming smile, as he allowed Jack and Gilda to take the lead of the four friends as they came into the entrance hall of Sawlty Towers.

The hall was broad and hung low, with chandeliers and melted candles along its many dressers and shelves. Colour seemed drained out of this place, with only the dim yellowish glow of the candles providing fleeting flickers of vibrancy. The floorboards and walls were knotted timber, clearly hewn from ships that had known many years at sea, with woodcarvings of the rolling waves lining the wall. All in all, the guests felt as though they were back beneath the deck of Gilda’s schooner. At first Apple Bloom began to dread the possibility of seeing Pip’s chamber as a bare barracks of no comfort and minimal hospitality. Pip led them up the stairs and unlocked an elaborately carved door, and swung it proudly open.

Apple Bloom stepped in, her eyes widened as she beheld a rich chamber fit for a Canterlot pony, filled with red carpets, paintings of ships at sea, trophy blades hanging on the red-painted walls, velvet and canvass curtains, fancy dressers, carved tables, sofas and chairs conveying an almost Equestrian feeling of comfort. On another raised level, a long dining table lined with candles stood readily to be laid. At the end of this expansive chamber, a four-poster bed that was most likely where Pip laid down to rest stood with its left side facing the tall windows overlooking the lights of the port and the rippling waves beneath the moon. Pip hung his coat and hat on a nearby rack and placed himself on a nearby sofa, stretching his legs.

“Please, make yerselves comfortable!” declared Pip, stretching his foreleg out as the guests entered, “Dinner will be served at seven o’clock, and I know you’re mighty hungry.”

“Now, I’m not one to complain when somepony has a flair of fancy to his lifestyle,” began Sweetie Belle as she took in the vast amount of decoration with wide-eyed admiration, “But I’m starting to see what Spike meant by ‘living large’ – how many pirates live like you do?”

“I’m not sure what you’re implying, Miss Belle.” said Pip warily, cocking an eyebrow.

“I’m implying that this is pretty nice for a pony who’s been plundering gold and jewels.” she replied pointedly, her eyes narrowing. But Pip remained unfazed by her attempt to guilt him.

“Now, you’re wonderin’ if I stole all this, aren’t you?” he asked, she nodded, “Well, you’re only half right. Let’s see, I’ve nicked that dresser, that figurine, this very cushion, those odd things, those candles…” he lazily pointed his hoof around his room towards all sorts of odds and ends and knickknacks adorning the room, until his voice became a quiet rambling to himself as though to remember which items he acquired himself.

“What about the rest of the stuff here?” inquired Scootaloo, looking up from her cider, hoping to snap Pip out of his memory trance.

“Oh, the rest are actually presents from a few old friends, like the sofas, the dining table, dressers, the bed – I used to sleep on a hammock for nine months before Captain Fleetwing came to dinner on me birthday, smashing chap! Saved me life, ya know!” he recalled, smiling, eyes misty with nostalgia. Jack opened a casket of cider and poured some for Apple Bloom, Sweetie Belle, Scootaloo and Spike, while Gilda absently flickered through the pages of a book, quietly declining the offer. He watched with astonishment as the four of them guzzled down their drinks after a slight taste of the brew.

“Ah recognize Sweet Apple Acres when Ah taste it! And you’ve got great taste, Pip!” exclaimed Apple Bloom, her eyes brimming with satisfaction from the refreshing cider.

“Did somepony say cider!” a jolly voice blasted from the door, as a large, almost as large as Pip, muscular tan coloured Earth Pony with a telescope cutie mark barged into the room like he owned it. Following in his wake was an eclectic array of colourful creatures. The first among them was a red fox striding along on his hind legs and clad in a waistcoat and feathered hat, followed by a stocky male zebra with strong black stripes, an elegant acacia tree cutie mark and gristly whiskers for a beard. Trotting in with them was a tall dark stag with sharp antlers, chiselled features and a scowl of perpetual vigilance, finally followed by a scarlet macaw with a prosthetic leg flapping clumsily behind.

“Harold Hornpipe! Lads! Good to see you housekeepin’ for your captain.” welcomed Pip, taking the stallion in both arms and patting him heavily on the back, the arrival not caring for the splashes of cider over his coat.

“Aye, somepony has to, you lazybones.” replied Harold in a slow gravelly tone, like the sound of the waves crashing upon rocks, “You’d lose your socks if you weren’t sitting on them –”

“Ahem! There’s a time and a place for that, Harry!” said Pip in a rushed tone, as beads of sweat filtered down his brow and he looked about in a vain attempt to hide embarrassment.

“No need to be bashful, Cap’n. You can’t keep any secrets from us.” said the fox slyly, comfortably placing himself next to Scootaloo.

“It seems some fair fillies have joined us tonight. Cap’n Pip, are they here for your own delight?” intoned the zebra with a rhyming pattern to Zecora similar to Zecora, looking at Pip sidelong and offering a teasing smile.

Rraaawk! Pip’s delight!” taunted the parrot as he flapped onto Pip’s shoulder and affectionately nipped his master in the ear, eliciting a chuckle from Pip.

“If only that were true, matey!” guffawed Pip, exchanging a randy smirk with his mates. The three young mares glared suspiciously at the pirates, but Apple Bloom cut straight to the heart of it.

“And just what are suggestin’?!” snapped Apple Bloom, “If you’re thinkin’ what I think you’re thinkin’; forget it! We’re not here for that!”

“Yeah, talk about dirty-minded seadogs.” joined in Spike, disgustedly, getting off the sofa, eager to leave, before the zebra stretched his arm out and looked at them with wide, reassuring eyes.

“Fear not, young dragon, they were but jests! We were not informed that Pip would have guests.”

“It seems you’re double-booked, boy. Wouldn’t be the first time.” quipped Gilda snarkily.
Pip seemed to ignore Gilda’s earlier comment and introduced the Ponyville friends to his crewmates and vice versa.

“Now, you’ve met Harold Hornpipe, this here zebra calls himself Daktari, our local physician.”

“Long Toddy, at your service!” said the fox, taking a low brow and sweeping his cap off.

Rraaawk! Captain’s off his drawers!” squawked Pip’s parrot, before allowing his master to continue.

“This lewd and tricky little bird is Hector, and the tall fellow with the antlers; Shady Sulion.”

The tall stag stepped into the light and looked down at both Pip and the mares, his tight lips seemingly refusing to part, and then he spoke.

“Charmed. But pray tell, what brings three landlocked mares and a little dragon so far from home?” he greeted them in a low, sonorous tone that seemed to weave its own spell, only his pirate companions seemed unfazed by his voice, and he certainly seemed less pirate and more a sorcerer.

“We… actually weren’t goin’ to tell more than Pip needs to know.” said Apple Bloom, sheepishly.

“Now, Miss Bloom, I will not have that!” declared Pip, stretching his arms out, filling the room with his exuberance, “Tonight, we shall all dine on the fruits of my island paradise!”

******************

In what felt like no time at all, the large central dining table was laden with napkins and cutlery for those who desired it. None of the Ponyvilleans expected a troop of monkeys to come scampering in and delivering the many meals for the day on platters, to the compliments of Captain Pip. Though much about Pip still left questions unanswered, the four friends feasted their eyes and palates on the exotic banquet before them. Cheeses, baked potatoes, bowls of local vegetables, salads, and mashed avocados laced with chili adorned the table for the main course, and everyone took a sample of each, followed by a fruit storm of bananas, pineapples, mangoes, coconuts, papayas, citruses, grapes. Pip even arranged for Spike to gobble on a bowl of cut topazes and glimmering opals, sparing any mention of finer gemstones like rubies or sapphires. Carafes and jugs filled with rum, wine and cider. The only one who took his place away from the table was Long Toddy, who reclined on his chair and strummed a quiet tune on his lute, after gulping down a serving of fried mackerels. Apple Bloom and her friends attempted conversation, but where drowned out by the often boisterous banter, and found themselves phasing out.

“You can’t be serious!” exclaimed Jack between mouthfuls of salad.

“I assure you; I am quite serious.” replied Shady Sulion with an expression of stoic composure battling a thin amused smile, “Took us three hours to thaw him out of the ice.”

“Ugh! I’ve been dunked in a frozen lake before, let me tell you, it’s no piece of cake!” said Spike a little indignantly, eliciting a few scattered laughs from the assembled shipmates as he recalled one of his first Winter Wrap-Ups in Ponyville.

“I can’t understand that a regular dragon wouldn’t see the appeal.” said Long Toddy, still plucking the lute strings, “But if you go far enough north, like I’ve been, there be Ice Dragons! And they love it!”

“Ice Dragons!?” exclaimed Spike excitedly and getting up from his seat, “You’ve seen Ice Dragons what are they like? Go on, please, tell me!”

“I said I’ve seen them, I can’t say I stopped to chat about the weather with one.” corrected Toddy, to Spike’s mild frustration, “Cheer up, Spike! You’re your own master now; you could go see one!”

“Now where was I,” resumed Sulion, “Ah, yes! So there he was, locked in a block of ice,”

“Those Unicorns of the Ice Merchants’ Guild were a rather miserly bunch, I imagine.” interjected Jack knowingly, “Not to mention icy.”

“Oh, Jackie boy, that is just old hat.” moaned Pip, joined by a chorus of disapproving groans, “Lucky for us he was a polar bear and partial to a little cold.” remarked Pip, taking another draught of his rum.

“Probably found it quite refreshing after being stuck with you on a ship off the coast of the Saddle Arabia!” joined in Long Toddy, “Did he have to shave before signing up?”

“He did, and he still complained about the heat, but still wanted his share of the Saddle Arabian gold. When we thawed him out, he said –” began Sulion,

‘I wish you hadn’t thawed me, I was pretending I was back at home!’ ” finished Pip, the pirates and Spike broke into raucous fits of laughter, even Gilda let out a few chuckles. Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo found themselves wrapped up in the warmth and the easeful atmosphere of Pip’s chamber, quietly taken in by the food and music, and smiled at the contentment shared. Apple Bloom, on the other hand, had finally grown tired of their incessant banter, pushed her chair out with a loud creak and proceeded to leave.

“Apple Bloom! Where are you going?” cried Sweetie Belle in alarm, Apple Bloom didn’t turn around.

“Don’t you girls realize we’re losing precious time!” she asserted with renewed resolve, “We’re here because we wanted to save Babs, not join these thieves!”

“Oi! I resent that!” cried Pip in exasperation, “We’re not mere thieves, Miss Bloom; we’re free. Free to see the world, enjoy the spoils of discovery, and give the griffons a right royal kick up their lion’s backsides!” A loud chorus of cheers erupted from the table, except from Gilda, to whom Pip sheepishly grinned, “Present company accepted, of course, Gilda.”

“Sure, no hard feelings.” she replied laconically.

“But why the griffons?” asked Spike, “They don’t seem all that bad.”

The chamber went quiet; Spike seemed to have invoked something primal and vengeful in Pip, as he adjusted himself to address the question. By his foreboding tone and narrow eyes, Pip the boisterous pirate became an ancient mariner.

“I’ve locked in a maritime feud with the fleets of the Griffon Kingdoms since I was just a colt; when I captained my very first ship when I was just thirteen! Don’t believe me? Jack was there!”

“Aye, remember the day he first stepped aboard our trading galley, like a ghost out of the mist, with only a dagger on his belt and a gold cup in his little rowing boat?” said Jack to the gathered pirates.

“It was a band of griffon brigands who sacked our ship; we were mere traders inches from losing our grip.” recited Daktari, “I was commissioned as physician too the crew, many recipes of herbal potions and medicines I knew.”

“You know, we know a zebra as well, she lives by herself in the Everfree Forest. Her name’s Zecora.”

“Truly?! Zecora still lives?” he exclaimed, his ears perking up with joy, before resuming his more reserved self, “Please, my excitement I hope you forgive. We were foals together once; while she grew clever I was still a hippo’s dunce.”

“You were still smarter than most ponies I knew.” said Harold Hornpipe warmly.

“Aye, and these same brigands took my first band of shipmates, and my captain, hostage.” continued Pip with a tinge of bitterness at the memory, allowing Jack to continue.

“He bought his way into the broken crew with a little chest of gold he’d pilfered, and proposed to hunt down the griffons within three days, if he would be named captain.”

“That must have gone over well.” said Scootaloo sarcastically.

“On the night of the third day, just before we were inches from throwing him to the waves,” began Harold with rising verve, sending a shiver of fear down the Ponyvilleans, “We spied the griffons’ ship, quietly anchored by a reef, snuck aboard and took back our dignity and their gold!”

“Did you kill the griffons?” asked Sweetie Belle anxiously, holding her hooves to her lips.

“Now, we almost did, but instead we tied them to the mast and let them untie themselves later” said Pip casually, but this did nothing to assuage Sweetie Belle’s shock, “Griffons have sharp talons, they can take care of ropes. And thus began my life of voyaging across the waves.”

Apple Bloom continued to stand away from the table, facing Pip as he reclined in his seat, relishing in the captivated faces her friends. Her eyes narrowed as she stepped closer.

“Tell me, Pip, if you had a ship, why didn’t you come home?” she asked pointedly.

Pip didn’t answer immediately, and his mates seemed just as reluctant to answer, their eyes shifting from Apple Bloom to Pip and back again. Silence continued to hang in the air as Pip’s eyes wandered across the room and refused to meet Apple Bloom’s. Gilda shifted in her seat before rising.

“Well, this has been an awesome dinner,” she said in a stilted tone, “I’ll let you Ponyville buddies do your little catching up. But me, I’ve got a ship to captain. You coming, Jack?”

“I believe my plans have changed.” murmured Jack in aside to Gilda.

“Very well, enjoy… whatever this is.” She saluted Pip casually before flapping out the doorway. Pip continued to be silent, his confidence melting under the three mares’ gazes.

“Destiny called.” said Pip evasively as he rose to face Apple Bloom, letting his voice seep into her, “My cutie mark appeared the day I put a stop to those brigands. You read about pirates all the time as a little colt, but who thinks of being one?” He shook his head, “So I embraced it gladly.”

“We could’ve helped you out.” insisted Apple Bloom hoarsely, “You could have visited.”

“And be arrested on sight? If I came back, it would be like a hyena walking into a lion’s den. And no, I don’t need anypony’s help.” he haughtily huffed, deciding he’d had enough company for one night. But then, Sweetie Belle placed her hoof on his shoulder, and for a moment he seemed in her thrall as he beheld her glimmering eyes. Sweetie Belle herself kept her unease regarding Pip’s wildly different nature locked behind a mask of excitement, yet something about Pip as he stood before her hearkened back to the bouncy little colt on Nightmare Night. She wanted to reach to for that.

“It’s not too late, Pip.” reassured Sweetie Belle gently, looking at him with a hopeful expression, “Okay, sure, you’re a pirate, but that doesn’t make you a bad pony, just one who’s made a few bad decisions. You could help us; help us to find the Jolly Crook.”

Pip’s head reared rapidly up, his face blank with bemusement, but Sweetie Belle was serious. Suddenly, he laughed, his mirth bursting out in a fitful gale. Sweetie Belle scowled reproachfully.

“You’re madder than I am if you think I’m going after the Jolly Crook, that ship was more trouble than it’s worth! Right, lads?”
Jack, Harold, Toddy and Daktari cried a disjointed chorus of ‘aye’ and exchanged shared looks of doubt.

“I’m afraid I agree with Miss Bloom, Pip was a big fish in his day, but the Jolly Crook is growing larger.” said Shady Sulion.

“If not for us, or for Babs, then what would ya say to treasure?” asked Apple Bloom, taking a seat at the table; the attention of Pip’s crew firmly locked on her. She smiled proudly; as the pirates were more enticed than she thought they would be.

“Our interest you may have, young mare, what treasure would you have us ensnare?” replied Daktari.

“Well, if Ah were captain, posessin’ an able bodied and eager crew,” began Apple Bloom with a sly smile, “Ah’d be goin’ after the treasure on the island of the Quarter-Maps.”
Low murmurs broke out among the pirates as they exchanged looks of intrigue and suspicion. Apple Bloom then found herself in Captain Pip’s shadow.

“And how do you know about the Quarter-Maps?” he asked with quiet menace, glowering down at her from above, “There’s only one other pony I know who knows of three of the Quarter-Maps, and last I duelled him I nabbed the one right out of his hooves. I had three of the maps, charting a way from Zebrica through rough seas and reefs to the island, ignoring the missing quarter.”

“Not long after we settled here, Pip and I voyaged south to waters unclear.” Daktari joined in with an ominous glint in his eye, “Found the island by wit and wiles we did, and we both agreed it was better left hid.”

“But if you had one of the pieces missing, how do you know you found the island?” asked Spike.

“By old sailing custom, X marks the spot, with half of that clue the trail was hot. An expedition inland confirmed the unknown, and there stood a great temple carved of stone. Things unseen stirred beneath in the undergrowth, to fight such an elusive foe we were loath. Whatever foul spirits stirred therein, we vowed to keep it secret that no soul may wander in.”

“I kept this voyage a secret from the lot of you because I feared the worst. Some treasures are locked in evil-lookin’ temples for a reason.” asserted Pip, and looked coldly at Apple Bloom.

He strode over to a black dresser and took out another key from his pocket, and unlocked it to reveal a long, wooden box. He placed the box on the table and unveiled the Quarter-Maps. The two, thin triangular strips of cloth stretched out with the tip of their corners meeting in the middle, designed to taper towards the centre of the map and fit together. In one, the long, thick line marked the small town of Tanga on the coast of Zebrica, with the sea stretching south west, on the second of the maps was a thin narrow strip of red ink marked with an ‘X’, amidst illustrations of harsh waves and reefs, the other half of the island was missing.

“This can’t be right!” exclaimed Scootaloo, and looked up accusingly at Pip, “You said you had three of the maps, where’s the other one? Are you hiding it?!”

As the gathered creatures studied the maps in quiet dread, Harold Hornpipe looked up at Apple Bloom.

“Someone stole one of the Quarter-Maps, didn’t they?” he asked grimly, Apple Bloom nodded, “All it takes is one of the Quarter-Maps to incite a pony’s desire for the treasure. If they've found the missing fourth, they now half have the island on their map. Any reason, Cap’n why they would have incentive to steal the other?”

Once again, Pip scowled and looked away, keeping his thoughts locked behind a grim façade, something sullen and testy bubbled underneath. Both the Ponyville friends and the crew looked upon him and saw a cold and distant creature, utterly unlike the warm and gracious host who welcomed them in his home.

“Y-you lost the th-third of your maps?” questioned Apple Bloom incredulously.

“Not lost, sold.” he said in a very matter-of-fact way, “And thank the powers for it, now some fool can go and claim that cursed treasure and die as they please. I’m done sailin’ and I’m not leaving this island.”

“You let those curs loose! If they didn’t have the map, they wouldn’t have gone to Hayseed Harbour!” shouted Apple Bloom, stomping over to Pip and glaring in his face. But Pip glared back at Apple Bloom and all courage left her as he slowly advanced towards her.

“I’ll ask nicely only once more, who told you about the Quarter-Maps?” he questioned through gritted teeth. Apple Bloom felt herself shrink in his presence, and even with Spike by her side, she still felt exposed before the pirate captain. Very attempt she made to reply came out as incoherent mutterings, yet somehow Pip understood it.

“It was him, wasn’t it?” snarled Pip, his voice rising with every breath, “He had the last of the maps with him, thinks I stole them, and who knows me better than old Captain Storm Sword? So, spies, enjoyed your last supper?!”

Apple Bloom sprang for the door, but Pip was too quick on his hooves, in a single bound he stood in her path, in a single fluid motion, Pip picked up a nearby cutlass and held it to Apple Bloom’s coat, snarling through gritted teeth. The ringing of metal sounded as the pirates raised their blades. Sweat flooded down Apple Bloom’s brow as her throat dried and constricted with terror. Spike was pinned down by Daktari, Sweetie Belle charged her horn to fire and Scootaloo raised her hooves to retaliate. Suddenly, a loud gust of wind blew all the candles out as a winged figure blocked the light from the moon and a crackling of flames sounded below.

“Someone’s burned by schooner!!” screeched Gilda angrily at the top of her voice, “I don’t know who, I don’t know why, but I’ll give them Tartarus when I get my claws on them! Wait, what’s going on here?”

The imminent fight seemed to dissipate, Pip lowered his blade and ran to the window, panic filled the streets as the flames from Gilda’s schooner went up higher into the sky, sending sparks and smoke floating along the quayside.

“This wasn’t the result of cannon fire; we’d have heard something.” said Harold in a low tone, “Perhaps magic, but to what gain?”

“I noticed some of the woodwork looked melted through, I was able to salvage a piece.” said Gilda as the sight of her burning vessel hit her hard, her rage dissipating into grief. Spike took the sample in his claws and sniffed about, detecting the familiar odour of brimstone, he gasped and held it back, then smoke billowed from his nostrils.

“It was him.” he said, his fangs bared, “The Jolly Crook is nearby.”

“Could it be true?” wondered Sweetie Belle, “There was a dragon among the pirates!”

“I wouldn’t know, but I did find this on the pier.” said Gilda, revealing a folded up note with within her feathers, and presented it to Pip, and read it aloud.


To Captain Pip, come out of your rat-hole and bring out the two Quarter-Maps to the Jolly Crook by sundown tomorrow, or watch your island paradise burn to cinders.
Yours in good faith, Messrs’ S & S


Pip crumpled up the note and looked out over the balcony towards the sinking remains of Gilda’s vessel and the town below. He took heart in this place, for he founded it and helped to raise it with his bare hooves, it was his home for a whole year and he never thought that it would be threatened. He let his sword drop the floor, and faced Apple Bloom with a look of despondence and dread, the true face of a pony grown soft from his success rather than a hardened seafarer of many a tall tale.

“I have to confess; a few months ago, a pair of Unicorns came ashore with a proposition of trade. After a game of cards, which they won, I asked them their price they declared it; one ship, the Jolly Crook, and one Quarter-Map. I deliberately led them to believe I only had one, so I preserved the island’s location from them. But that ruse has run its course.”

“These Unicorns, did you ask them their names?” asked Scootaloo,

“Course I asked them, but I didn’t care to remember!” admitted Pip tetchily.

“Whatever the matter may be, it seems you’re little gamble has not paid off. Cap’n while you’ve been drinking and wenching your guts out, the price on your head as risen!” warned Jack.

“He’s right! Ah’ve seen the posters! You’re wanted for murder and treason! Storm Sword is huntin’ for you because he believes you’re the one captaining the Crook.” added Apple Bloom, who seemed to have regained calm despite Pip’s earlier attempt at violence, looking at him now there was no violent spirit left in Pip. He looked to his guests and his crew.

“Tell me, can there be any future for a seadog who’s but a shadow of his former self and feels the daggers close in on him?”

“That’s pretty much why I’m here,” said Spike hopefully, “that could be your reason too.”

“Pip, if it’s all the same to you, yes, we were told about the maps by Storm Sword. But he’s not the one holding ponies hostage and destroying ships!” said Sweetie Belle as she bent onto her knees to look Pipsqueak eye to eye, “If you’re afraid, then think of it as an adventure!”

“Very well,” he said finally, rising to address his astonished crew, “Mares and gentlecolts, I propose an expedition to set out at the crack of dawn tomorrow! We will sail for the first time in a year after the Jolly Crook, and then we’ll rescue Babs Seed, if these four landlubbers promise not to rat me out to Storm Sword, they can come and I promise their protection and safe return. And then, just for fun, we’re gonna sail south to Tanga, Zebrica and into the unknown, I will beat them to the treasure! All those in favour say ‘aye’!”

“AYE!”