In the far dimensions of time and space, in the small town of Ponyville of the planet Equestria lived magnificent creatures, the ponies. They were a peace loving and tolerant race of what humans call horses. But I the Doctor, have been mistakenly transported to this dimension in the TARDIS. All I remember is the TARDIS acting strangely then all faded to black. When I awoke the world looked different, I looked to my hands and they seemed different. There were no fingers, only one big- now what are those called- ah yes, hooves. Somehow I have become this horse! As I exited the TARDIS, I noticed the world was full of these horses, magnificent, wonderful horses! They were all shapes and colors, all going with their business as a giant wooden box appearing out of nowhere did not seem to bother them. As I looked up at the TARDIS, I noticed the sign said Pony Box instead of police. Now isn’t that peculiar? As I walked – wait is the correct term trotted? – through the town a horse – or is a pony? – came to me.
“Hi there stranger, I haven’t seen you around, what is your name?” inquired a purple horse with a horn on its head. It seemed to have stars on its flank.
“Well I’m the Doctor,” I replied promptly, “now the question is, who are you?”
“My name is Twilight Sparkle,” said the purple pony, “and your name is just Doctor? Doctor Who?”
“No, just the Doctor.”
“Hmm, okay then where are you from then?” questioned Twilight Sparkle, now what kind of name is that?
“I really don’t know,” I replied.
“Well then…I will introduce you to the town of Ponyville, it is a great place filled with many ponies (ah they are called ponies) and it is a great place to meet new friends! I live at the library close to the middle of town, want to come look?” Twilight said.
I replied, “No I just want to walk around, see the sights as you would say.”
“Okay then see you around!” and Twilight trotted away.
As I walked through town, I noticed different types of ponies going about their business. There are horses with horns on their heads – ah what do humans call them?...Ah Ha! Unicorns that’s right! – used some kind of power to manipulate objects with their horns. Amazing! Then I noticed these ponies with wings – now I know the name, some kind of human myth? Some ancient stories… oh right a pegasus - flying about, moving clouds and controlling the weather. Fantastic! They can control the weather without machines! How amazing these ponies are!
“Outta the way!”
I look up and there is this blue pegasus flying straight at me! I side step the pony and she – or is it he? – crashes to the ground. I notice a multitude of colors on her tail and hair in a very familiar pattern – it is like a human weather event- after a rain… colors out of prism… oh right a rainbow! This pegasus had a rainbow pattern on her hair – well thinking about it isn’t it called a mane? – and its tail. As the pony gets up it is scratching its head with its hoof and looks at me.
“Ow! That was a crash…” replied the mysterious rainbow colored pony, “good thing you got outta the way, say what is your name?”
“Well I’m the Doctor, and you are?”
“I’m Rainbow Dash, and say, you’re a doctor, can you give me a checkup?”
“Um, well, you seem okay,” I stutter, “but I’m not really that kind of doctor.”
Rainbow Dash, I mean seriously who comes up with these names? Cartoonists? Looks at me and then stares at my flank.
“Hmmm, well your cutie mark is a… um… some kind of sand in a glass?”
“I believe the word you are looking for is an hourglass.”
I was wondering about that mark on my flank, what is it for? This Rainbow Dash has a cloud with a rainbow colored lightning bolt coming out of it, what could that represent?
“Yeah an hourglass, that was my second guess. That must mean you do something with time, right?”
Ah, these so called cutie marks are markers for one’s profession, and mine fits me perfectly!
“Quite right Rainbow Dash!” I exclaimed, “but what does yours mean?”
“You are not from around here are you? I’m the fastest pony in Equestria! I’m as fast as lightning!”
As the word lightning was said, a lightning bolt came out behind Rainbow and he lept up and cowered behind me. Only a moment later she looks up and yells, “hey Derpy, I don’t need the emphasis every time I say lightning!”
“Sorry Rainbow Dash!” cries this mysterious gray pegasus. Now I’ve heard this term before on Earth, is it some kind of what humans call, an Internet meme? I don’t know point is Rainbow then realizes her folly and quickly jumps to my side.
“Well gotta go, I need to practice my moves, I’m going to be a Wonderbolt!”
Now what is a Wonderbolt?