DERPY
Derpy was managing the Pony Express office when Mister Pathfinder returned.
She realized at once that he was in a terrible mood. He stormed past her without a word, into the back area of the courier stalls.
She followed him, worried that he was so upset. What had happened?
“Mister Pathfinder?” she asked. “Sir…?”
“Go away, Derpy,” Mister Pathfinder said. He had pulled out his big bags and his strongbox. He threw his few belongings into a heap.
“What are you doing?” she asked.
“I’m leaving Ponyville. Going away for good,” he replied angrily.
“But where? Why? What happened?” she pleaded.
“I’m going to the Badlands,” he said roughly. “I need to go away. To be alone. Where I can’t hurt anypony again.”
“But, Mister Pathfinder,” implored Derpy, tears welling in her eyes. “Please, why? What happened?”
Mister Pathfinder paused. His wings fell, scraping the floor.
“I attacked Zecora. Kicked her,” Mister Pathfinder said, not looking back. “I’m sorry. But that’s what I did. If you see her, tell her I apologize.”
“Did you hurt her?” asked Derpy, shocked.
“She fell. She’s probably bruised. But she’s fine I think. Still, you should visit her, to be sure.”
“I know!” insisted Derpy. “Let’s both go visit her! I’ll see that she’s okay and you can say you’re sorry.”
Mister Pathfinder sagged. “What I did was unforgivable. She is your friend and I knew that. But I hurt her anyway. I can’t control myself. All I do is hurt other ponies. That’s all I’ve done, all my life. So it’s time I go away, before I hurt anypony else.”
“But, Mister Pathfinder, why? Why?” begged Derpy.
For a moment, Mister Pathfinder didn’t answer. Then he drew himself up, shaking with rage. Or terror.
“Because this is what I am!” Mister Pathfinder shouted. He threw the mattress off his bunk. Metal objects fell to the floor. He stamped on them. His fore hooves suddenly bore claws like a griffon.
He tore open his strongbox, threw out other objects and stamped them with his rear hooves. Wicked sharp spurs clicked against the floor.
“THIS IS ME! I’M WORSE THAN ANY MANTICORE! ANY DRAGON! ANY COCKATRICE!” he cried, standing before her. “I AM A MONSTER! I COVER MYSELF WITH METAL AND POISON AND I THINK ABOUT KILLING ALL THE TIME!
“Monster. A monster.”
Mister Pathfinder sagged against the floor. “Murderer,” he hissed softly. “I am a murderer. And I have no place among decent ponies.”
He slumped and fell silent.
***
“Tell me,” said Derpy.
“No,” he said. “I don’t like to think about it.”
“Tell me,” insisted Derpy. “Tell me anyway.” She sat before him, expectantly. Encouraging. “Tell me. You know I’ll wait until you do. Tell me.”
Mister Pathfinder bowed his head.
“I won’t swear you to secrecy,” he began, “because if you tell anypony this, they’ll think you mad.
“Understand this first: there is more than one Equestria.”
Surprisingly, Derpy nodded, as if this was something she already knew.
“I abandoned my Pa and Ma,” said Pathfinder. “I just flew away one day and never saw them again. I just flew away and found this… gateway to another world. A better world. A place where I thought I belonged.” His voice hitched. “I found friends there.”
Pathfinder smiled his strange, sad smile. “I know this will sound ridiculous, but three of the little Breezies, these tiny flying ponies, Blue Belle, Honey Dew and Whoopsie Daisy, were the best friends I ever had. They liked me because I could fly like them. They called me ‘Big Brother’ and came to me with their problems. They invited me on their ‘adventures,’ which mainly involved collecting flowers or berries and leaving unexpected gifts for the Ponyville folk.
“But eventually I became restless. I guess I outgrew them. I began to explore the lands around that Ponyville. Discovered their Unicornia and the Rainbow Princess, more or less by accident. I was looking for something, I don’t know what, maybe just other featherbacks like myself.
“I wasn’t looking for what I found. The second gateway. I dove into it, confident, thinking I would find another wondrous world. But now I wish I had died before I discovered it.”
“Never wish for death, Pathfinder,” said Derpy.
“Oh, you don’t know. Praise Celestia, you will never know,” said Pathfinder.
Pathfinder then spoke of things Derpy could not understand. Cages. Whips. Scalpels. Injections. Chains. Slavery. The helpless violation of one’s body. Learning to fight. Learning to murder. Blades and poisons and every awful thing. Despair and hopelessness that drove Pathfinder to do terrible things to other ponies.
“I escaped from the zebras, at last, thanks to a general uprising, sparked by this one little pony that was strong enough to fight her way to freedom. I never learned her name. I’m sorry for that, for I honor her.
“I fled into the badlands. And there I met Ditz— my good friend, D. Her skywagon had broken down in the badlands and she was surrounded by raiders. I still had my blades and my poisons from the zebras’ combat arena, so it was easy for me to kill them all.
“I was proud of my ability to murder, then. In that Equestria, murder was a useful talent.
“D. was very grateful for her rescue. She offered me a job, as her guard. I had no skills, other than direction and murder, so I was thankful to her. She paid me in food and shelter. D., herself, didn’t require food, you see, because she was, I’m sorry, not quite alive.”
“I don’t understand,” said Derpy, enthralled.
“Neither do I, really,” said Pathfinder. “Something awful had happened to her, long ago. Almost a thousand years, she once told me. Well, 'told.' She couldn't actually speak. She usually wrote on a slate. Her letters, though, were erudite and thoughtful. Her experience had left her… I'm sorry, broken and twisted. But her heart was so strong! She was kind to me! Kind! In that terrible world!”
Pathfinder looked down. “She was kind to me, so I was proud to kill to protect her.”
He cradled a packet of letters between his hooves. “This is all I have left of her. My one good friend in that terrible place. Perhaps I should go back. Maybe that’s where I belong now.”
“No,” said Derpy.
“I hardly sleep anymore,” continued Pathfinder. “I am so tired. I keep waking up and reaching for my blades.”
“No!” declared Derpy Hooves. “Just be quiet! Be still! It's approaching dark now. Sleep. I will stand over you and protect you.”
“But—!” Pathfinder said.
“Shut up!” said Derpy. “Oh, you are so difficult sometimes. Just lie down now, there’s a good boy.”
And, for the first time in years, Pathfinder slept, while his faithful guardian stood over him.
***
Mister, no, her friend Pathfinder had finally fallen asleep.
Hours until daylight. She sat beside him, listening to him breathing.
My family knows where I am, she thought. I left a message for Ditzy, so everypony knows I’m okay.
She sat in the dark, looking out the tiny window. So many stars, she marveled. I never feel afraid at night. How can I be afraid or lost? I look up and the stars tell me where I am. They point me to home and family. Even in the darkest night, when the land is black or the Sky disturbed, I can fly, up, up, up to the clear air and be embraced by the Night. And the Night will always guide me home.
Princess Luna is best pony, she smiled to herself. I guess she knows that everypony loves her.
After awhile, she heard the faint noise of another courier in the Pony Express station. She listened and heard the familiar stamp of Mister Packet’s hooves, the jingle of his many keys, his tired sigh of responsibility. Mister Packet managed the Pony Express station; in her opinion, he worked too long and worried too much. He’s a good pony.
She heard him clumping around the station. Inevitably, he checked the courier stalls. She didn’t think he’d come in; Mister Packet respected his messengers.
At the sound, Pathfinder stirred uneasily in his sleep. She touched his back gently. It’s okay, she thought. It’s only friends. Pathfinder stilled.
Mister Packet left, perhaps a little more quietly, in consideration. She heard the jingling of his keys again, fading.
And again, the night was still.
I will stay awake and alert all night, to guard my friend, she thought. To prove my faith. To give him faith.
She touched Pathfinder’s back. She felt his strong heart beating, the slow expansion and contraction of his chest. She smiled.
And, perhaps, after awhile, despite her intentions, she nodded.
Shadows gathered at the foot of Pathfinder’s bunk. The shadows slowly gained shape and presence, into a dark cloaked figure. Derpy started.
The dark figure held up a square black slate. On it, glowing in the moonlight, were the words:
DO NOT BE AFRAID
Derpy stood, spreading her wings to cover Pathfinder. “I am Derpy Hooves. I am strong and I am not afraid.”
The stranger in shadow struggled forward, hesitantly. Golden eyes glowed in the cloaked and cowled face of the awkward, humped shape. It carefully scratched a note onto its black slate. Now the words read:
I REMEMBER YOU FROM WHEN I WAS ALIVE
Derpy felt a chill. That’s like what Pathfinder said! “What do you mean? When you were alive? You are alive now!”
The stranger’s cowl drooped. It slowly wrote on its slate:
NOT ALIVE WHAT WAS LEFT WHEN SOUL MOVED ON A FADING MEMORY
“I know! You were his friend!” Derpy cried. “His friend when he had no friends! The quiet one! Oh, he loved you, even when he hated himself! Sister!”
The shadow retreated, as if from a blow. It lifted the slate and wrote:
KINDNESS GENEROSITY LAUGHTER HONESTY LOYALTY MAGIC
The shadow held out the slate, gesturing at Pathfinder.
“Was that what you gave him, sister?” asked Derpy.
The shadow shook, gesturing from Pathfinder to itself. Finally, it wrote:
HE GAVE ME WHAT HE DENIED HIMSELF
The shadow fell back further into the darkness, one golden eye glowing, fading to brown. It wrote:
JUST WANT TO KNOW HE IS OK I AM FAILING AT LAST WANT TO LET GO LET HIM FORGET ME LET HIM REMEMBER HIMSELF SO DARK HERE LOVE HIM LOVE YOU SISTER
The shadow folded upon itself and sank into dream.
Derpy started. She looked about. The sad shadow was gone, if it had ever been there.
But Pathfinder was there, sleeping at her side.
She swept her wings over him and held him close until the morning light.
***
KIMONO’S LAST LESSON
Pathfinder was determined to go away forever. Derpy was determined to stop him.
They sat together quietly on a slab of rock, as Celestia’s light faded from Ghastly Gorge.
“You know,” said Derpy, “the quarray eels are actually very shy. If you fly near their tunnels, they’ll snap at you, but let you go. In spring, they come out of their tunnels and dance in the moonlight: it’s a wonderful thing to see, I think.”
“Hmmf,” replied Pathfinder. In his last world, the bats had killed and eaten the rock eels. To see one alive would be a treat.
But as the light faded, Pathfinder looked not at the gorge, but into the sky.
In the moment when Celestia’s Sun set and the moment before Luna’s Moon rose, he stood and pointed. “There!”
Derpy squinted. Above the gorge, there was this tiny space where the light was wrong. It was… greasy. A green-and-yellow smear that spread like a stain.
The gateway.
“Pathfinder,” Derpy said. “I don’t like it. Please, don’t go. Stay. Please.”
“I’ll only hurt you, if I stay,” he said.
“You’ll only hurt me if you leave,” she replied.
“I can’t control myself,” said Pathfinder. “I’m a danger to you and everypony. It’s best that I go.”
“You are not a zombie pony!” shouted Derpy. “Oh, you make me so mad, sometimes! Stop giving in to hopelessness! In your world, my sister loved you, even though she had been dead for a thousand years! Imagine that! Are you going to betray her now? Betray her memory?”
“I have betrayed everypony,” said Pathfinder miserably. “My folks, who depended on me. The Breezies, who were always so kind. Your sister, who I left behind. Princess Celestia, to whom I owe my soul. Ponyville. Your friend, Zecora. You.”
“Then stop! Just stop!” sobbed Derpy. “I like you so much, Pathfinder. Please, I beg you, just stop!”
“Just stop, my Pathfinder,” Kimono had said.
“My Lady?” he had asked, as he sat before her in her teahouse for the last time.
“This is my last lesson to you, my Pathfinder,” Kimono had said. “I know you are anxious to go, to find distant fields beyond my reckoning. You have traveled your entire life, finding your path, looking for your proper place. It is not here. And it is not in… the next land you will encounter.
“Have hope in a land beyond that, my Pathfinder,” Kimono had said. She had smiled at him then. “You have brought joy to my little ponies and this is no small gift. The little Breezies adore you.
“Have faith in their love, despite the hard trail you follow. Release your self-judgement. Have faith in your friends and in their perception of you. You will come at last to the end of your journey. And then, I beg you, have the wisdom to stop.”
All right, then, Pathfinder thought. For Kimono. For the Breezies. For D. and Derpy. I will try one last time to be good.
The gateway twisted and shut. Purple twilight came to the gorge. The quarray eels nosed out of their tunnels and sang their strange songs to the fall of the Sun and welcomed the rise of the Moon.
“Yay!” whispered Derpy, leaning against him.
“There is always tomorrow. And the next day,” Pathfinder cautioned.
“And you will be here tomorrow. And the next day,” Derpy promised. “For today, come home and have dinner with my family, Pathfinder.”
They could have flown. But they chose to walk, side by side, until the warm lights of Ponyville rose before them.
***
RAINBOW DASH
A few months earlier:
“All right! Let’s do this!” Rainbow Dash revved her wings.
She stood over Ghastly Gorge and looked south. Clear, dry air. Air that, in her opinion, needed a little excitement.
She licked her lips. Oh, yeah.
Right then. Twilight was there with her ridiculous anemomertebabble, whatever that was. Applejack held the start flag. Off in the distance, Fluttershy held the finish flag. Rarity was modeling the team jacket while Pinkie mixed the victory punch.
AJ dropped the flag and Rainbow was off.
Up, up, up, into the brilliant blue arch of the sky. As Rainbow soared, the sky purpled. The boldest stars, at this altitude visible even during the day, appeared. One day, she vowed, I won’t stop. I’ll just fly up and up until I touch the stars.
But not today, she grinned. Not when Pinkie is making her famous Pinkie Punch.
Rainbow at last surrendered to gravity. She fell, accelerating, a bullet-shape that whispered through the atmosphere.
Hurtling back to the green Earth, there was a tiny moment of doubt. The world is so big and I am so small! What if I auger in? But Rainbow grinned and threw her doubt aside.
Okay, here it comes! Let’s do this! Push, girl! Hit the edge of the envelope and punch through!
The sky exploded. Sonic Rainboom!
There was this moment of serenity when she broke the “boom barrier.” Rainbow looked down and saw her friends dancing and clapping at her success. But for Rainbow, this moment wasn’t about them. It was about herself and her sense that, in this instant, she had reached up and touched another world.
Then Rainbow Dash soared down, slapped hooves with Fluttershy and settled in for a round of congratulations and Pinkie Punch.
And, in the air above her, Rainbow Dash left a small, thin place, where her Sonic Rainboom had strained the fabric of the world. Rainbow, of course, was unaware of it. But in another world, there was a pegasus that suddenly looked up, took flight, and scrambled desperately towards salvation.