A Super Villain, A Wrestler, and A Draconequus Walk into a Library (20)
Snowflame, Pinkie, and Discord are still laughing at Rainbow Dash being hugged so roughly, but she's had enough.
Dash: (Gasping for air) Let...me...go!
Warrior: OK Skittles!
He lets her go and she falls to the floor breathing hard
The Warrior looks at the other ponies and smiles, he sees Pinkie Pie laughing on Snowflame's back.
Warrior: The Pink one looks fluffy and I like it's laughing, let me have it.
Snowflame gets a serious look on his face and pulls Pinkie into a protective hug
Snowflame: NO, the Pink one is Snowflame's favorite, you stick with the Rainbow one like all the marketing!
Pinkie: Snowfy, that's not very nice, I'm friends with everypony
Warrior: Fine, you keep the cotton candy, I'll stick with the Skittles
He tries to grab Dash again, but she runs and hides behind the rest of the girls
Applejack: Alright, enough of this nonsense, who in tarnation are ya?
Twilight: (Taking up defensive position with her horn) Yes, and why are you here?
Warrior: I am the Ultimate Warrior you colorful hooved mammals, AND I WILL BE THE HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION THIS NEXT WRESTLEMANIA!!!! *SKRONK*
Rarity is disgusted by the Skronk and the others are all confused, so they look to Snowflame
Snowflame: (Wraps his arm around the Warrior) Main Characters, this is Snowflame's new friend The Ultimate Warrior!
Twilight: Friend? But I thought you two just viciously fought each other? You wrecked downtown Canterlot
Warrior: We did, I tried to kill this Icy Hot Crack Head
Snowflame: Cocaine! Not Crack! They're two separate things!
Warrior: Whatever!
Twilight: Snowflame, how can you say he's your friend, he just said he tried to kill you?
Snowflame: So? John De Lancie tried to kill you, now you're all buddies
Twilight: Who is...
Discord: I never tried to kill them, I only tried to destroy their defining characteristics to plunge the land into chaos!
Snowflame: Ya, that, and look, he's fine, and so is the Warrior here
Warrior: Yes! Friendship is Magic! But is all Magic Friendship? That is the Ultimate Question!
Pinkie: Seems fine to me (She rushes up and hugs the Warrior)
Twilight: But...He...
Snowflame: Sorry to cut you off nerdy one, but we have business to attend to.
Warrior: Yes, we need to talk to you (He points at Discord) you son of a motherless goat!
Discord: Well that's just rude to goats, but lets go somewhere private (He snaps his fingers and they teleport)
Twilight: Wait, I... (Uggghhhhh)
Applejack: Well that sure was strange
Rarity: And did you see what he was wearing? Honestly, what is up with these humans and their affinity for spandex and face paint?
Pinkie: Well I liked him, Right Fluttershy?
Fluttershy: Well, um...
Pinkie: Exactly 
Dash: Well I think he was stupid!
Pinkie: Oh come on Dashie, he was just showing his affection
Dash: Whatever!
Luna and Celestia come across the Mane 6
Celestia: Girls, have you seen Snowflame and the Other Human?
Luna: They wandered off before we could speak with them
Twilight: They just disappeared with Discord
Celestia/Luna: Mother of Me!
Snowflame, Pinkie, and Discord are still laughing at Rainbow Dash being hugged so roughly, but she's had enough.
"Let...me...go!" Rainbow Dash was finally able to shout.
"OK Skittles!" The Warrior says letting the Cyan pegasus, and she falls to the floor breathing hard. The Warrior looks at the other ponies and smiles, he sees Pinkie Pie laughing on Snowflame's back. "The Pink one looks fluffy and I like it's laughing, let me have it."
Snowflame gets a serious look on his face and pulls Pinkie into a protective hug "NO, the Pink one is Snowflame's favorite, you stick with the Rainbow one like all the marketing!"
"Snowfy, that's not very nice, I'm friends with everypony. Besides Dashie is Kenny's favorite and you don't see him being all defensive about it."
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Meanwhile in an Alternate Universe, somewhere in Connecticut...
DON'T CALL ME KENNY!
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"Fine, you keep the cotton candy, I'll stick with the Skittles." The Warrior says. He tries to grab Dash again, but she flies away and hides behind the rest of the girls.
"Alright, enough of this nonsense, who in tarnation are ya?" Applejack asked.
"Yes, and why are you here?" Twilight says, taking up defensive position with her horn.
"I am the Ultimate Warrior you colorful hooved mammals, AND I WILL BE THE HEAVY WEIGHT CHAMPION THIS NEXT WRESTLEMANIA!!!! *SKRONK*" The Ultimate Warrior shouts.
Rarity is disgusted by the Skronk and the others are all confused, so they look to Snowflame
Snowflame wraps his arm around the Warrior and says, "Main Characters, this is Snowflame's new friend The Ultimate Warrior!"
"Friend? But I thought you two just viciously fought each other? You wrecked downtown Canterlot." Twilight points out.
"We did, I tried to kill this Icy Hot Crack Head." The Warrior says.
"Cocaine! Not Crack! They're two separate things!" Snowflame shouts, sounding offended.
"Whatever!"
"Snowflame, how can you say he's your friend, he just said he tried to kill you?" Twilight asks.
"So? John De Lancie tried to kill you, now you're all buddies." Snowflame points out.
"Who is..."
"I never tried to kill them, I only tried to destroy their defining characteristics to plunge the land into chaos!" Discord says in deference.
"Ya, that, and look, he's fine, and so is the Warrior here." Snowflame says.
"Yes! Friendship is Magic! But is all Magic Friendship? That is the Ultimate Question!" The Warrior stats.
"Seems fine to me." Pinkie says rushing up and hugging the Warrior.
"But...He..." Twilight begins to say.
"Sorry to cut you off nerdy one, but we have business to attend to." Snowflame interrupts.
"Yes, we need to talk to you!" The Warrior says as he points at Discord, "You son of a motherless goat!"
"Well that's just rude to goats, but lets go somewhere private." Discord says snapping his fingers and with a flash of light he and the two humans were gone.
"Wait, I... Uggghhhhh" Twilight says in frustration.
"Well that sure was strange." Applejack states.
"And did you see what he was wearing? Honestly, what is up with these humans and their affinity for spandex and face paint?" Rarity asks.
"Well I liked him, Right Fluttershy?" Pinkie asked the yellow pegasus.
"Well, um..." Fluttershy begins to say.
"Exactly!"
"Well I think he was stupid!" Rainbow Dash mumbles.
"Oh come on Dashie, he was just showing his affection."
"Whatever!"
Right then Princess Celestia and Princess Luna come across the six mares.
"Girls, have you seen Snowflame and the Other Human?" Celestia asked.
"They wandered off before we could speak with them." Luna adds.
"They just disappeared with Discord." Twilight tells them.
Both Celestia and Luna's eyes widen and they simultaneously mutter, "Mother of Me."
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Back in Ponyville, at Golden Oaks Library...
At the Library in Ponyville
Discord, Snowflame and the Warrior teleport in and startle Spike into falling off the ladder
Discord: Ah, there we go, nice and quiet...And I can get on the egghead's nerves. Snaps his fingers and all the books fall off the shelf, burying Spike
Spike: Oh Come On!
They don't seem to hear Spike and continue on with conversation
Discord: Now, what do you need my delightfully chaotic gentleman? And are you going to apologize for ramming your ship into my head?
Warrior: NO!!!
Snowflame: We came because we are looking for the pony who hired the first clawed assassin that tried to kill Snowflame. Sun Butt said you could help.
Discord: So wait, there was another killer sent from Canterlot before Braveheart showed up?
Warrior: That is what my brother from another mother is telling you!
Discord: Well why don't you ask the assassin if you haven't killed him already?
Snowflame: Snowflame did, all he said was that the pony was hooded and had money.
Discord: I see. Well I suppose I could ask around the seedy underbelly of the city in disguise, I do still owe you for introducing me to the majesty of Cociane.
Snowflame: AWESOME SAUCE!!!
Discord: Now what about your new friend here? Who sent him?
Warrior: The gods beyond the black gate, the ones with mysterious mystifying voices that promise your every desire
Discord: Okaaay....I'll look into that as well. I'll start in on it tomorrow, I may or may not be getting Immortal tail tonight, so I'm gonna focus my cards on that for the time being.
Snowflame: Snowflame understands, Pimpin ain't easy, wonder what we should do in the meantime though?
Spike finally gets out from under the books, and looks mad until he sees the three figures
Spike: Ummm, What are you guys doing here?
The Warrior sees Spike and gets excited
Warrior: Do my own eyes deceive me, or is this the chubby offspring of the dinosaurs with wings and fire?
Spike: Hey, I'm not chubby!
Snowflame: This is the only male main character in this place, he's Spyro the Dragon
Spike: It's Spike.
Warrior: This is amazing, Dragons exist in this realm. The Warrior wishes to slay one right now!
Snowflame: Snowflame thinks that's a great Idea, Why didn't Snowflame think of it earlier? And Snowflame knows exactly which one.
(He Looks at Spike and Points) YOU!!!
Spike: (Backs up nervously) Y...Yes?
Snowflame: Remember when you ran away because the owl was outshining you and that green dragon tried to eat you and the purple pony?
Spike: Y...Yeah? How do you know that?
Snowflame: Well you know where he is and we will kill him and take his treasure!
Warrior: The scaly behemoth of flame will feel the power of our combined might, and our bond will be strengthened like Chinese finger traps.
Spike: B..But I can't go back out there, it's almost dark out and I don't want to get eaten.
Snowflame: Do not worry, Snowflame knows just the thing (Looks at Discord) Next Generation, turn him into a badass like us and make him 8 feet tall and have a chainsaw!
Discord: Alright sounds fun
Snaps fingers and Spike Painfully grows as tall as Discord, but he is ripped like Snowflame and the Warrior with sharp Spines on his back with an awesome chin and wings
Spike looks down at his new form and Chainsaw
Spike: Groovy (In Bruce Campbell's voice) Let's see Rarity Deny this!
Snowflame: Now you are awesome, you must take your revenge to become a man though so let's go kill Alduin!
Warrior/Spike: YEAH!!!
They rush out and leave Discord behind who wonders whether he should go help and have fun or try to get laid.
Discord, Snowflame and the Warrior teleport in and startle a nearby Spike, who falls off the bookshelf ladder.
"Ah, there we go, nice and quiet...And I can get on the egghead's nerves." Discord says. He then snaps his fingers and all the books fall off the shelf, burying Spike in an avalanche of literature.
"Oh Come On!" The baby dragon shouts under the pile of books.
The three don't seem to hear Spike and continue on with conversation.
"Now, what do you need my delightfully chaotic gentleman? And are you going to apologize for ramming your ship into my head?"
"NO!!!" The Warrior shouts.
"We came because we are looking for the pony who hired the first clawed assassin that tried to kill Snowflame. Sun Butt said you could help." Snowflame explains.
"So wait, there was another killer sent from Canterlot before Braveheart showed up?" Discord asks.
"That is what my brother from another mother is telling you!" The Warrior says.
"Well why don't you ask the assassin if you haven't killed him already?"
"Snowflame did, all he said was that the pony was hooded and had money." Snowflame tells Discord.
"I see. Well I suppose I could ask around the seedy underbelly of the city in disguise, I do still owe you for introducing me to the majesty of Cociane."
"AWESOME SAUCE!!!"
"Now what about your new friend here? Who sent him?"
"The gods beyond the black gate, the ones with mysterious mystifying voices that promise your every desire." The Warrior says.
"Okaaay....I'll look into that as well. I'll start in on it tomorrow, I may or may not be getting Immortal tail tonight, so I'm gonna focus my cards on that for the time being."
"Snowflame understands, Pimpin ain't easy, wonder what we should do in the meantime though?" Snowflame says.
Spike finally digs his way out from under the books, and looks mad until he sees the three figures, "Ummm, What are you guys doing here?"
The Warrior sees Spike and gets excited, "Do my own eyes deceive me, or is this the chubby offspring of the dinosaurs with wings and fire?"
"Hey, I'm not chubby!"
"This is the only male main character in this place, he's like Spyro the Dragon, except he's more likely to be screwed over by Hasbro instead of Activision." Snowflame says.
"This is amazing, Dragons exist in this realm. The Warrior wishes to slay one right now!" The Warrior exclaims.
"Snowflame thinks that's a great Idea, Why didn't Snowflame think of it earlier? And Snowflame knows exactly which one." Snowflame looks at Spike and points, "YOU!!!"
Spike backs up nervously and mutters, "Y...Yes?"
"Remember when you ran away because the owl was outshining you and that green dragon tried to eat you and the purple pony?"
"Y...Yeah? How do you know that?"
"Snowflame watched the show. Snowflame assumes that you know where he is and we will kill him and take his treasure!"
"The scaly behemoth of flame will feel the power of our combined might, and our bond will be strengthened like Chinese finger traps!" The Warrior shouts.
"B..But I can't go back out there, it's almost dark out and I don't want to get eaten." Spike said sound scared.
"Do not worry, Snowflame knows just the thing. Snowflame says before he looks at Discord, "Next Generation, turn him into a badass like us and make him 8 feet tall and have a chainsaw!"
Discord smiles at the thought, "Alright sounds fun.", he snaps fingers and with a puff of purple smoke he becomes as tall as Discord, but he is ripped like Snowflame and the Warrior with sharp Spines on his back with an awesome chin and wings.
Spike looks down at his new form and Chainsaw and says, "Groovy." in a voice similar to Bruce Campbell's, "Let's see Rarity Deny this!"
"Now you are awesome, you must take your revenge to become a man though so let's go kill Alduin!" Snowflame shouts.
"YEAH!!!" Both Warrior and Spike shouts.
The two humans and dragon rush out and leave Discord behind.
"Hmmm... should I go help and have fun or try to get laid?" Discord askd himself.
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Meanwhile...
Running away from the Mental Institution
Blueblood is still speechless at the display of Zant's power and laying on Zant's back as he and the other two race through the evening into Canterlot
At one point, Screwloose holds them up as she sniffs around a corner and smells two guards.
They then arrive at a giant house and this finally gets Blueblood to speak
Blueblood: This is your home?
Zant: I know, isn't it lovely, you should see my giant chair my lord
Blueblood: It's bigger than my mansion
Zant: Well being the king of the Twilight Realm has it's perks, oh hello Fluffy, glad to see you made it here in one piece. Did you tell mom we're back?
Fluffy:...
Zant: Excellent
Blueblood: Well we should get inside before somepony sees us
Disco Dance: PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!
Zant: Yes Joey, surely mom has set out the Pizza bites for us
They enter and a maid confronts him
Maid: Why you here? Mr. Fancy Pants no here right now
Blueblood: Fancy Pants?
Maid: Yes, he no here, he go to Prance, you go now!
Blueblood: You said this was your place Zant
Zant: Oh way to go Fluffy, you didn't tell the help we'd be coming home
Fluffy:...
Zant: Great, now we have to start taking hostages
Blueblood: Wait, What?
Zant knocks out the maid and uses curtain ropes to tie her up
Zant: Joey I need you to check the kitchen and bring anyone you find to the living room, and Don't you Dare Eat the Pizza Bites Without Us!
Disco Dance: I GOTCHA, I GOTCHA!
He runs off where screaming and dropping pans can be heard along with his laughter.
Zant: Screwloose, be a dear and herd anyone upstairs down here please
Screwloose: Bark, Bark
She runs upstairs where her snarling and frightened screams of others can be heard.
Zant: Although I do wish Fluffy had given them forewarning, this game is always fun to play.
He hands Blueblood a knife
Zant: Here you go my lord, I leave her life in your hooves, just hold it against her kneck till the others come, I'll go check the laundry room
Blueblood is speechless again with his knife against the unconscious maid
Blueblood thinks: "How do I keep getting into these situations?"
While running away from the Mental Institution Blueblood is still speechless at the display of Zant's power and laying on Zant's back as he and the other two race through the evening into Canterlot. They then arrive at a giant house and this finally gets Blueblood to speak "This is your home?"
"I know, isn't it lovely, you should see my giant chair my lord." Zant says.
"It's bigger than my mansion."
"Well being the king of the Twilight Realm has it's perks, oh hello Fluffy, glad to see you made it here in one piece. Did you tell mom we're back?", there is pure silence, "Excellent."
"Well we should get inside before somepony sees us."
"PIZZA PIZZA PIZZA!!!" Disco Dance shouts.
"Yes Joey, surely mom has set out the Pizza bites for us." Zant says.
They knock on the door and a female donkey wearing a white apron opens it, "Mr. Fancy Pants no here right now."
"Fancy Pants?" Blueblood asks in confusion.
"Yes, he no here, he go to Prance, you go now!"
"You said this was your place Zant."
"Oh way to go Fluffy, you didn't tell the help we'd be coming home." Zant says to the thin air next to him. "Great, now we have to start taking hostages"
"Wait, What?"
Zant punches the maid in the face, which knocks her out and he grabs some close by curtain ropes and uses them to tie her up. "Joey I need you to check the kitchen and bring anyone you find to the living room, and Don't you Dare Eat the Pizza Bites Without Us!"
"I GOTCHA, I GOTCHA!" Disco Dance shouts." He runs off and not soon after screaming and dropping pans can be heard along with his laughter.
"Screwloose, be a dear and herd anyone upstairs down here please."
Screwloose barks in response before she runs upstairs where her snarling and frightened screams of others can be heard.
"Although I do wish Fluffy had given them forewarning, this game is always fun to play." He then hooves over a knife he seemed to get from nowhere over to Blueblood. "Here you go my lord, I leave her life in your hooves, just hold it against her neck till the others come, I'll go check the laundry room." Zant then runs off leaving a speechless Prince Blueblood.
'How do I keep getting into these situations?'