One day. I just want one day where I can wake up in my own bed without anything crazy happening, but of course, that is never going to happen because I live in Ponyville, where every day brings fresh new ways to torture me. However, before I get to that, I feel the need to state that last night I spent six hours meticulously updating my journal. I could have used that time to play my lovely new cello or sleep, but no, I had to detail every stupid insipid thing that happened to me in the last three days for reasons that I am not entirely sure of. For once, I found myself envying Vinyl, whose journal entries were usually little more than a paragraph. How much more time in my day would I have if I adopted her writing style? But that is enough speculation. I stayed up writing until the wee hours of the morning and then proceeded to fall asleep on my desk, and while I slept, I dreamed.
Now, I am not normally for describing my dreams as they are of an intensely personal nature and wholly irrelevant to the course of my day. At best, they are fun little diversions, and at worst they are… well, I would prefer not to talk about those. However, as I am currently being employed by the Princess of the Night, it seems that my dreams are no longer a safe haven from the insanity that infects the rest of the world. It all started as a perfectly normal, if rather sordid, dream that I would prefer not to go into detail about, when Princess Luna decided she would suddenly materialize while I was in a… rather compromising position.
“Your Highness,” I said, quickly moving to cover myself with a bedsheet, “I apologize for the state of my dreams, I don’t tend to have control over what direction they take, and… as you can see this one is particularly shameful.”
She tilted her head, “And why is that? It seems like you and Miss Scratch were having a perfectly lovely evening in your dream before I so rudely interfered.” My cheeks burned as I looked at the mare sitting on my bed. I was having a romantic dream. With Vinyl. How in Equestria could I face my roommate tomorrow? First she kissed me, and then I dreamed about me… doing romantic things with her. The whole thing was entirely inappropriate.
“Still, if you wish we can continue this meeting at a more formal location.” Before I could react, the world around me had dissolved and been replaced with the main hall of Canterlot castle.
“So, I am going to go out on a limb here and guess this isn’t a social visit,” I said as I oriented myself to my new surroundings.
She smiled. It wasn’t quite as stoic and serene as her sister’s, but it had an enthusiasm and authenticity that Celestia’s lacked. When Luna smiled at you, she meant it. “Sadly, no, although I would be more than happy to hear about how your time in Ponyville has been, if you’d care to indulge me.”
I did. I told her every last detail about my time in Ponyville, the fire, the hospitalizations, the terrible auditions, and the fact that I hadn’t had a proper breakfast in days. Luna let me rant unimpeded, and when I was done, she blinked.
“That… that answers most of the questions I wanted to talk about actually, but how are you doing? I had no idea your time in Ponyville would be so trying.” She wrapped a wing around me to provide comfort, and while I would normally refuse such an inappropriate gesture (one should not display such affection towards a subordinate), her embrace was far too comfortable for me to raise a proper complaint.
“You mean Celestia didn’t tell you about her plot?” I asked as I rested my head against the Princess’s side.
“Not at all, once I told her about my desire to reform the Orchestra of the Night, she went to work arranging everything. The only things I knew were that she had found a talented young musician to lead the orchestra and that it was to be based in Ponyville. I had no idea she selected you to take control of the task until you walked into Mister Pianissimo’s office, and I was quite convinced that this was some scheme of hers to get us back together.”
I interrupted her, “I wouldn’t say we were together, your highness, we spent one wonderful night together watching the stars and talking about the disaster that was the Gala. I don’t think that constitutes an actual romance.” Did I just correct one of Equestria’s ruling princesses? If she wanted our night of conversation to count as a romance, then who was I to correct her? Besides, if that did count as a relationship, then it brought the number of romances I had all the way up to one.
Thankfully, instead of getting upset about my correction, she just chuckled, “I suppose you are right, but to my sister, any missed romantic connection is a problem that needs to be fixed. I should tell you about how she decided to get Princess Cadence and Shining Armor together some time.”
“So… she just goes around finding ponies who she thinks are unhappy and then trying to fix them?” I asked, not at all surprised, considering the events of the previous day. Although I still don’t know why she would think I was unhappy in Canterlot, it gave her actions some context and made me slightly less inclined to commit regicide. Slightly.
Luna nodded, “She wants all her little ponies to be happy and have plenty of friends. I personally don’t see why she can’t just let them live their lives, but she has led Equestria into a golden age, so there might be some merit to her methodology.”
We were silent for a moment, and then with another wave of her hoof, the princess brought us to the Royal Canterlot Gardens. They looked exactly like they had on the night of the Gala. If I looked towards the castle I could still see smoke rising from the ballroom. “What did you wish to talk about?” I asked, settling into the grass. She had recreated the night we spoke together perfectly. “I highly doubt you just walked into my dream to reminisce.”
She smiled, “There is nothing wrong with a bit of reminiscing; we haven’t really spoken about the night of the Gala.”
I shrugged, “What is there to speak about? We met during the aftermath of the Gala, had a wonderful night, and I left the next morning so that you could resume your proper life.”
“Yes, I was rather curious about why you left, you didn’t strike me as the type of mare to love and leave.”
“I am not,” I said, wishing I had something to drink before a glass of wine suddenly materialized in my hooves. Right, dream logic. “But, you are one of Equestria’s ruling diarchs, and I am a common musician. Any prolonged relationship would have been improper, even though I did value the time we spent together. It made the sting of the Gala’s failure slightly more bearable.”
Luna let out a sigh before calling a glass of wine to her own hooves. “You know Octavia, after the Grand Galloping Gala, I checked up on you. I found out where you lived, looked through your dreams,” my cheeks started burning when she said that, “I even considered issuing a royal decree making you my consort. Thankfully, I realized such things had fallen out of favor in the past thousand years, and such an act probably wouldn’t help me win the favor of the common ponies.”
I took a very large pull of my wine, “That… I didn’t know I had made such an impression on you. I am nothing special.”
She smiled, “You were the first pony since my return who treated me normally, you were respectful, yes, but you didn’t fear me. By the end of the night, I felt better than I had in a millennium. So yes, you did make a rather strong impression.”
“I enjoyed our night together as well, and while I was strongly tempted to make more of it, I could not willfully engage in an activity that would damage both of our reputations. Propriety dictates that the nobility and common ponies not intermingle, after all.”
The princess rested her forehoof against her forehead, “I am one of the rulers of Equestria, if I do it and my sister approves, the nobility will follow suit. They will do almost anything to curry favor with my sister.”
Oh… that did make a particular amount of sense. Who would argue with one of Equestria’s gods? I opened my mouth to speak, “So, then… do you… I mean, work relationships and—”
She mercifully interrupted my stammering by shaking her head, “Not in the slightest. While I do appreciate the time we had and wouldn’t trade it for the world, neither of us were really looking for a romance that night, we were just two lonely souls desperately looking for companionship, besides, if your dreams are anything to go by, you are far too timid for my tastes.”
“What do you mean by that?” I asked, standing up on my hooves.
“Octavia, you are a very sweet pony, but your idea of an erotic evening consists of staying up late discussing the merits of different classical composers. When I intruded upon your dream tonight, you were sitting in bed with Vinyl discussing which baroque composer had the most versatility.”
“Well… those are perfectly normal dreams for a mare to have, I mean… it’s not too dirty right?”
Luna laughed, “Octavia, your dreams are some of the most chaste and virginal dreams I have ever seen, but you act like desiring companionship and intimacy with another pony is somehow wrong. Your urges are normal, and it is perfectly fine to act upon them. I am certain Miss Scratch would be interested in… discussing classical music with you.”
“Actually, considering her she specializes in electronic and techno music, I don’t think she would get too much pleasure out of such a… That was innuendo wasn’t it?”
She nodded.
“While it might be enjoyable,” I conceded, “such a relationship between two roommates would be horribly improper. If something were to happen between us—”
I was cut off as Luna raised a hoof up to shush me, “Octavia, you will always come up with a reason why a relationship would be improper. You have to throw propriety to the wind when it comes to these things and do what you want.”
“I understand that Princess, but is entering into a relationship while working to form your orchestra really the best--”
She took a deep breath and stood to her full height, towering over me, “Octavia Melody, as one of the Sovereign Diarchs of Equestria, the Ruler of the Night, and the Bringer of the Moon, I command you to ask Miss Vinyl Scratch out on a date, and you shalt endeavor to make it as enjoyable as possible! Failure to do so within a timely manner will be seen as high treason against the crown!”
When Princess Luna finished speaking, I found that I had covered my ears and curled up into a tiny ball. It wasn’t just that she was loud, the world darkened when she raised her voice, and thunder roared in the distance. Her eyes went white, and lightning flashed. There also might have been some screaming involved on my end. To be fair, Luna is absolutely terrifying when she is angry.
“Oh… okay,” I said, my body still shaking with fear, “But what if s—she declines?”
Luna let out a sigh, “If she says no, or you two don’t actually get along that well, then that is fine, but you are not allowed to sit back and list reasons why a relationship would be improper, you have to go out there and make a mistake or two.”
“Fine,” I said, getting back on my hooves, “Is there something you actually wanted to talk about, or did you just want to give me relationship advice and terrify me.”
“There was,” Luna said, “I thought you could use some assistance, and so Sir Royal Riff has graciously agreed to aid you in your task.”
Royal Riff, the personal musician for the princesses, and one of the few successful earth pony musicians, was coming to Ponyville. To help me. I clapped my hooves together excitedly before realizing that I was still meeting with one of the princesses. “I… uhmm… I thank you for the aid Princess Luna, I am sure he will prove to be a valuable asset.”
She smiled, “I am glad to hear you approve. I expect great things from the two of you.”
I was trying my best to contain myself, Royal Riff was coming to Ponyville to help me. Sure he was helping me with an impossible task, but this was Royal Riff, if there was any way to form a half-decent orchestra in Ponyville he would find it. “When will he be here?” I asked.
“Mr. Riff will be arriving on the three o’clock train. I would suggest you meet him at the station.”
I nodded, I felt like I was dreaming, which… technically I was.
“Now, if that is all,” the princess said, “I think it is time for you to wake up.”
Before I could respond, the dreamscape had dissolved, and I found myself slumped over my desk. I winced as I got back to my feet, almost every muscle in my body ached, thanks to my poor sleeping position. A wonderful start to an already full day.
I worked to plan out my day as I ran a comb through my hair. First, I had to talk to Vinyl and, I shuddered, ask her out on a date, then I wanted to go to Fluttershy’s cottage to see her birds before running back to the train station and meeting Royal Riff. Then, if all went well, or not well, depending upon your definition of the word, I had a date with Vinyl. My hoof was getting cramped just thinking about how much writing I had to do today. But before all of that happened, I thought I would spend a bit of time playing on my new cello, who I had eventually decided to name her Miss Philharmonica, or when I felt like being a bit more casual with her, Philharmonica.
She was as wonderful as she was last night, and two hours later, I realized I had gotten so involved with her that I completely forgot about the outside world. While I would normally enjoy spending time practicing on my new cello (everything about her is just lovely), I did have quite a bit planned for today, and couldn’t afford to spend so much time practicing. I rushed out of the room.
Vinyl was still asleep even though it was now pushing 11:00 in the morning. It probably wasn’t that unusual for her, but since I had moved to Ponyville my roommate had gotten up around the same time I had. Of course, since I had moved to Ponyville, things had not been allowed to reach any form of normalcy. My schedule had been erratic, punctuated with several incidents that either led to my staying up later than my wont or forcing Vinyl to stay up all night so she could keep an eye on me while I was in the hospital.
Still, her refusal to be up before noon forced me to rearrange my plans. I would speak with Fluttershy first, then meet Royal Riff, and then, hopefully, Vinyl would be awake. Nodding my head as I finalized my new plan, I started the trek to Fluttershy’s cabin.
To my great surprise, I managed to find her cabin without getting horrifically lost. I had actually seen the cabin before during my disastrous quest to find the mayor’s office. As I trotted closer to the cabin, my worries began to melt away, this was a safe place, a place where the sick and wounded could come to for solace. Why had it taken me so long to find my way here? I knocked on the door. “Come in,” a masculine voice said as the door popped open.
The voice was distinctly masculine, but the speaker sounded like he was struggling not to spoil a joke. “Yes, come in Octavia, it is about time we met.” The voice suddenly flipped from comical to sinister, and if I had any sense at all, I would have turned around, raced back home, barricaded the doors, and spend the rest of the week hiding in my room. As the last ten days of my life can attest, I am a mare who is utterly bereft of common sense.
I walked in to Fluttershy’s cottage and saw a creature from fantasy staring at me. That wasn’t entirely true, the events of the last two years had proven beyond any doubt that the draconequus Discord was more than just an old mare’s tale, still, I had never expected to see him, or more alarmingly, have him know my name.
To call him a draconequus is not particularly descriptive, as he is the only known draconequus in existence, and the term chimaera is a far more fitting descriptor as he is a mismatch of different animal parts. A goat’s head here, a lion’s paw there, throw in a bat and pegasus wing where you will, maybe a griffin’s talon, and stick it all on the body of a snake and you have a fairly accurate descriptor of the creature sitting in front of me.
“How… how do you know my name?” I asked, trying to back out of the room.
He let out a laugh and flicked the door shut with his tail, “Well it’s only fair isn’t it? After all, you know mine.”
“Everypony in Equestria knows your name, only a few ponies in Canterlot and Ponyville have any idea who I am.”
“Would you believe me if I said I was a fan of the fine arts?” He asked as he snapped his fingers, willing an entire orchestra into existence. The orchestra was composed entirely of copies of him.
“For some reason, I never saw elemental gods of chaos as being big fans of the classical arts,” I said.
He chuckled again and the orchestra vanished, “True, true, you classically trained musicians are far too stuffy for my tastes. Now that roommate of yours, I could listen to her make music all day long.”
“Answer my question, how do you know about me and Vinyl?” I didn’t particularly feel like listening to a mad god discuss his musical preferences.
“Oh fine, after you ruined my fun during Nightmare Night, I just had to go back and meet you before the festivities started.”
My brow furrowed, “Wait, are you saying you are from the future?”
He nodded, “Five days from now, if you can call that the future. Believe me, when you get to be as old as I am, five days feels like a second.”
“But, time travel is impossible,” I said, trying to understand what I did or was going to do that would cause the draconequus to take such interest in me.
“It’s only impossible if you don’t know you are going to time travel, if you do then it is the easiest thing in the world.”
“What?”
Another burst of laughter, “Don’t worry Tavi, you’ll figure it out soon enough. Right now, I just wanted to… thank you for making the last few days so enjoyable. I love having a straight mare like you around to react to all of my little japes.”
“Are you talking about something I am going to do during Nightmare Night?” I asked, taking a step towards him.”
“And go and spoil the surprise? What kind of prankster would go and ruin their own jokes? No, I am talking about all the little pranks I have already pulled on you.”
My ear twitched. “It’s so easy to get you wound up, I whisper to Apple Bloom and she decides to get her cutie mark in classical music, a whisper to Pinkie Pie and she decides to go on a walk to town square on your first day here, add a bit of glue to Vinyl’s bass cannon so it gets stuck on 11. And let me tell you, that reference just cracks me up, although I doubt YOU’D get it.” He paused to wink at… someone after he said that.
He kept talking after that point, but I couldn’t hear him over the incessant throbbing in my head. Before I could properly think my actions through, I was charging my tormentor at full speed. I was going to punch out a chaos god even if it killed me (Which, on reflection, it probably should have).
As I ran closer, I leapt into the air, my foreleg extended, ready to punch him right in his ugly misshapen goat face. He looked at me, smiled, snapped his fingers, and then vanished. I sailed right past where his head had been and crashed through the Fluttershy’s wall. Lying there, surrounded by bits of drywall and debris, I considered that, perhaps, my decision to assault an old god had been a touch rash. Still, I thought as I got back on my hooves, at least no one was around too—
Before I could even finish the thought, the door to Fluttershy’s cottage swung open and the demure yellow pegasus walked in. She let out a barely audible squeak when she saw me covered in plaster and standing on what used to be her wall.
“It’s alright, Miss Fluttershy, it is Octavia, we spoke last night about your birds. I thought I would come over and see them, if that’s alright with you,” I said rather lamely.
“Oh yes, I remember who you are,” she said, although I had to struggle to make out what she was saying, “I was more concerned about why you knocked a hole in my wall.”
“That… It was an accident. Discord was in your cottage, I tried to attack him, he disappeared, and I flew through a wall, sorry,” I said as I dusted the debris off of my coat.”
A look of concern filled Fluttershy’s face, “Discord wasn’t being too nasty was he? He is still having trouble fitting in, and his pranks can be a little bit… mean at times. I am sure he means well though.”
I blinked and stared at her in a strange mix of shock and utter bewilderment, “Wait, are you… are you friends with the elemental god of chaos?”
She nodded at me as if being friendly with the ponyfication of chaos, madness, and entropy was the most normal thing in the world, “Yes, once you get to know him, he is a real sweetie. He just has a bit of trouble interacting with other ponies. You really do have to be patient with him at first, but he means well.”
“But, and I cannot stress this enough, he is the elemental god of chaos. How can anypony be friends with him?”
“It’s thinking like that that led to him becoming all nasty in the first place,” Fluttershy had suddenly gotten very stern, and started to stare me down, I felt my willpower began to crack, “Now I know he has done some bad things in the past, but he is trying to do better, and ponies should give him a second chance. Everypony deserves a second chance.”
Right, like they gave me a second chance. She didn’t have to finish the thought, “There’s a difference between making somepony cry though and plunging Equestria into eternal chaos.”
“You both needed somepony to show you a little kindness. You of all ponies should understand that.” I felt myself shriveling under her gaze.
“You’re right, I am sorry Fluttershy.” I felt myself nodding my head in agreement. At that moment, I probably would have done anything she said if it would get her to stop staring at me.
“It’s alright,” she said, fluttering over to my side and patting me on my back, “Just don’t be so quick to judge ponies in the future.”
“Alright,” I said, feeling substantially better now that she was no longer staring at me.
“Now then,” she said, completing her shift from force of nature to mothering figure, “Do you want to go listen to my singing birds?”
I just nodded my head. The most terrifying being I had encountered today wasn’t a chaos god or royal princess, but a demure yellow pegasus with one incredible stare.
She smiled, “Then let me show you around.”
An hour later, she had finished giving me a tour of the cottage grounds and showing off her singing birds. True to her word, they were very well trained, and managed to sing an entire song while staying on key. If I wasn’t still reeling from the stare’s aftereffects, I might have been able to pay attention to just what they were singing and leave better notes. As it was, I felt lucky to still be capable of walking and thinking. I wasn’t even concerned by the fact that an elemental god of chaos was on the loose, had admitted to toying with my life, and had planned something big for Nightmare Night (Which was only five days away). As long as Fluttershy was happy with me and not subjecting me to her stare, I was fine. “Thank you for showing me around your cottage, Fluttershy,” I said.
“It’s no problem, are you sure I can’t interest you in a pet? I am sure we could find something that is just perfect for you.”
I shook my head, “I am fine, thank you again for offering, but I really do need to get home.” It was almost 2:00 now, and I had to get going if I wanted to meet Royal Riff at the train station, which I very much hoped to do.
“Alright,” she said as I started my walk back into town, “If you change your mind, you know where to find me.”
Don’t look back, I told myself as I walked away, if I looked back and saw her just… standing there looking at me, I would very likely crack. She would either be giving me the stare or looking at me like I had kicked her dog. Either option would send me running back to her to pick out a pet that I neither needed nor wanted. To my credit, I walked all the way to the Ponyville train station without turning around. It was 2:55 when I finally reached the train station, and after a few minutes of waiting, the train pulled into the station on time.
The train was mostly empty, and Royal Riff had a rather distinctive appearance with a midnight blue coat and a white mane. His violin case was strapped to his back, and he conducted himself with a grace and poise that few ponies possess. He quickly approached me and bowed his head, “I can only assume by the aura of refinement that surrounds you that you are Miss Octavia Melody.”
I desperately tried to repress a smile and failed. Miserably. There might have even been a girlish giggle that escaped my lips.
“Charmed,” he said, kissing me on the forehoof. Now, I don’t know if I have made this clear in my writings, but I am the type of girl who prefers the company of other mares as opposed to stallions, but that doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate a gentlecolt when I meet one, especially when said gentlecolt served as my primary role-model and inspiration when I was growing up. There aren’t many earth pony musicians who achieve any popularity, but Royal Riff was able to overcome all the odds and become Celestia’s private musician. I even had a signed poster of him in my apartment back in Canterlot. Although, I have no idea where it is now. Probably in the Everfree Forest.
I quickly managed to stifle my giggling and regain my decorum. “I apologize for that, Mister Riff, when I was growing up you were something of an inspiration for me, and now having the chance to meet and work with you…”
He smiled at me, “Weren’t you at the benefit concert I put on after the return of Nightmare Moon?”
“Yes, I was in the third row sitting next to the aisle. I didn’t think you would remember that.”
“You came up after the show asking if I could sign a poster you had of me. I didn’t even think they made posters of me.”
I blushed, “It was very difficult to find.” Or make, I might have commissioned an artist to draw the poster up for me, but I saw no reason why he needed to know that. Honestly, my fangirling was a bit embarrassing in hindsight.
“Well, I am glad I will have such a dedicated pony serving as my assistant.”
What?
“What?”
“I am sorry, I thought that was a compliment. I need to commend Princess Luna for choosing such a charming and intelligent young assistant.”
“There… I think there was a misunderstanding, Princess Luna put me in charge of reforming the Royal Ponyville Orchestra. She sent you here to assist me.” There must have been some miscommunication, after all, someone was illustrious as him would—
“Yes, she sent you here, things weren’t progressing to her liking, so she sent me. Obviously, I will be taking control and you will be assisting me. Was that not clear?” He said.
“Well, she didn’t mention anything about you taking control; she said you were coming to assist me.”
“Exactly,” he said, as we headed away from the train station, “I have spent twenty years serving the Princess, and before that I spent quite a bit of time dealing with orchestra life. You, on the other hoof, have only been in an orchestra for a few years, and none of that time was spent in any administrative capacity. Now I can focus on all the boring tedium of forming an orchestra while you can focus on playing your cello. I am sure it is positively delightful. If I need any assistance, I will let you know.”
“Don’t you want to see my audition notes?” I asked as we walked through the streets of Ponyville.
He nodded, “It will be good to know what talent I have to deal with, although I am assuming I will have to use some of my contacts to form a proper orchestra.”
Okay, that was it. Yes, he was my role-model when I was growing up, and yes he was far more experienced than I was, but this was my fantastically doomed project, and I wasn’t about to let anypony take it away from me, especially when it was my friends who composed a majority of the orchestra. “While I appreciate and understand that you have substantially more experience than me, this task was given to me by the Princess, and until she orders me to give control over to you, I will be making the decisions about the orchestra.”
Royal Riff let out a snort, “Hmph, while your dedication to the orchestra is admirable, I feel that my decades of experience make me a far more competent leader than some mare who is barely old enough to buy a drink.”
I struggled to keep my calm, this was my project and I wasn’t about to let him take it over, “I appreciate the fact that you have substantially more experience than I do, and I will utilize it to the fullest, but the success or failure of this project rests on my shoulders and I will not let anypony else take it from me.”
We stared each other down, compared to Fluttershy’s stare, his was nothing to write home about. After a few seconds he cracked and lowered his head. “Fine, you can take the lead for now, but when it becomes clear to me that I am better equipped to deal with this situation, I will be informing the Princess.”
Well, it wasn’t much of a compromise, but it kept things moving, and at this point, that was really all I could hope for. “Then, if that is taken care of, let’s go back to my place and we can review the notes.”
Another sigh from him, “Very well, let’s go see what backwoods hicks think they are capable of being in an orchestra.”
He was completely intolerable. Yes, I thought that quite a few ponies in this town were hicks, but I never said anything about it, and… Okay, yes, I was a bit of a culture snob, and in many ways I still am, but I certainly don’t walk around Ponyville calling the citizens here hicks. They are good ponies even if their tastes are a bit less refined than mine. “If you give it a chance, this town might surprise you,” I said as we walked, “It’s not as sophisticated as Canterlot, but the ponies here are some of the finest I met.”
“I suppose it might behoove me to get into the Element Bearer’s good graces,” he said, “And I am sure that most of the townsfolk will be so in awe of seeing a proper musician that they will do almost anything I ask.” He smiled to himself at that, “Yes, I can see how I might be able to have my fun here.”
That… I don’t think I am entirely comfortable with his train of thought, if he was implying what I think he was implying. We walked for a few more paces before either of us spoke again.
“Now then, I assume you will need my assistance recruiting enough ponies to form an actual orchestra,” he said, “Unless everypony in this town is secretly a highly talented musician.” His sneer made it clear that he highly doubted that was likely.
May Celestia forgive me for what I said next, “Actually, this town does have a few hidden talents. Have you met Pinkie Pie yet?”
He shook his head, “Well, if you are going to be spending any amount of time in Ponyville you have to say hello to Pinkie, she functions as the town’s unofficial greeter.”
We were only a few seconds away from her bakery, and before I could knock, the door flew open. Pinkie’s head thrust out of the door and she stared at Riff excitedly, “Ooh! A new friend? For me? You shouldn’t have Tavi.” She started speaking to my new co-worker, “Hi, I’m Pinkie Pie, what’s your name.”
Before he could formulate a proper response, Pinkie ushered him inside the bakery, where party preparations were no doubt already underway. In fact, I wouldn’t be too terribly surprised if she already had some sort of party cannon prepared for all of her emergency party needs. As I walked back to the house, I heard what sounded like a polka coming from the basement of the bakery.”
“Oh hey,” Vinyl said as I walked back into the house, “What were you up to today?” She was still nursing her morning (afternoon) cup of coffee.
“Not much,” I said as I sat down next to her, “Had a conference with Princess Luna before I even managed to get out of bed this morning, I had a little chat with the god of chaos, took a tour of Fluttershy’s cottage, and, oh yes, I met the newest member of the Royal Ponyville Orchestra, who manages to make me look downright friendly.
Vinyl blinked, “Woah… really?”
I nodded, “I didn’t think that was possible, but apparently there is a pony out there who is more anti-social than I am. At least I have the decency to acknowledge the fact that I am antisocial.”
“Wasn’t talking about that,” she said, “I was more focusing on the ‘elemental god of chaos’ part.”
Right, that would be the most interesting part of my day for most ponies. I had almost completely forgotten about it, “Yes. Apparently, I have done or will do something to him, so he decided to go back in time, I don’t know how, and pull a few pranks on me. Truthfully, meeting with Discord was probably the least interesting thing that happened to me today. I should probably be worried about that.”
“So… Sounds like you had a pretty full day.”
I nodded my head. “Oh, and Princess Luna is making me ask you out on a date.”
Vinyl spit her coffee out of her mouth. I didn’t know ponies actually did that in real life, I had always assumed it was just an easy dramatic convention for showing shock. Who knew? A few seconds later she was able to form actual coherent words, “Why is she doing that? I mean, just…”
“Because, she knows I harbor romantic feelings towards you, and that I would never act upon them in a million years without being given proper incentive, so she decided to give me said incentive. I know, I probably should be a bit more… I don’t know, romantic when I am asking you out, but I don’t really know how to do that, and after the day I have been having, I just don’t have the energy to be shy or nervous. So… do you want to go out sometime Vinyl?” That’s it, I decided, after ten days in Ponyville, I had finally gone completely mad. All the insanity that filled this town had finally broken me, and now I was asking Vinyl out in what had to be the least romantic way ever. It didn’t even have the saving grace of being awkward, instead it sounded like I was reading aloud from a business proposal.
Vinyl stared at me in thought, and for some reason I felt compelled to keep speaking, “Because I do actually have romantic feelings towards you, you are smart… well, no, not that smart, but you are certainly funny… well, no, not that funny either, or at the very least, I don’t get your jokes, but...” Ah, good, I still had some of my traditional charm left.
“You are kind, I am sure of that, and not just kind, but patient and supporting, and you always make me smile when we talk. And even when I am making a total mule of myself, like I am now, you still stick around. So, in the words of the great philosopher Coltaire, Vinyl Scratch, I fancy you.” I had definitely gone insane, it was the only explanation.
My roommate tapped her chin for a few seconds, before eventually responding, “Yeah, sure, what do you have in mind Tavi.”
Apparently, Vinyl had lost her mind as well. “Pardon me Vinyl, but I wasn’t really expecting a positive response after such a long winded and confused declaration of affection and…” I kept ordering myself to shut-up, but my mouth refused to listen. Thankfully, my roommate quickly cut me off.
“I know Tavi, I like you too, and for some reason, I even like that super stiff way of speaking you have when you get stressed out. It's kind of cute.”
“Oh… okay then,” I said, quickly regaining my composure. “So, what do ponies usually do on a date? Should I dress up? I always pictured my first date as being a night at the opera, but something tells me Ponyville has a shortage of opera houses.”
She laughed at that, “True, and I think we should do something that we'd both enjoy. That seems like a pretty good date idea.”
Of course, I thought, chastising myself, “Then what would you suggest?”
“Well, we both like music, right?”
I nodded my head.
“So then, why don’t we go up to my work room? You bring your cello, I will bring my bass, and we will have a little jam session.”
“Wait,” I said, “You play the bass?” I had just assumed the only “instrument” she played was the turntable, she certainly never advertised herself as having additional musical talents.
It was her turn to nod, “Yeah, the academy pretty much forced me to learn a ‘proper’ musical instrument, so I went with a guitar ‘cause I could plug it into an amp and make it super awesome and loud.”
That explained it.
“I think I’ve gotten a bit rusty, though,” she continued, “So I might switch to some sampling on my mixing table after a while.”
“That sounds fine,” I said, “Although I do assume there will be some talking as well, it is my understanding that conversation is a vital aspect of any date.”
“Of course,” she said, “I mean, I have had a few that weren’t that heavy on conversation, but I am guessing you wouldn’t be much of a fan of those.” I didn’t need to know that last bit.
“Right then,” I said, gesturing towards her upstairs room, “Let’s get started. Just give me a minute to grab my cello.”
“Sure thing,” she said, “I need to figure out where I put my guitar at anyways."
I found myself humming as I walked up to my room, not because I was particularly excited for the date, but because… Okay, yes, I was excited for the date. I know it’s not particularly proper, but it was the first official date I had ever been on, and Vinyl and I would be making music together, so… that came out a bit more risqué than intended. We were just going to play with each other and… We were going to play on our preferred musical instruments and possibly compose a song or two. That was it. Still, I was a touch excited about the whole thing.
A few minutes later, I was sitting in Vinyl’s DJ room, waiting for my roommate to find her guitar. The more I thought about it, the more this seemed like a spectacularly bad idea. Vinyl and I were fine as friends, and if this relationship did end on a rough note, as our constant fighting indicated it might, then our very friendship might be crushed. On the other hoof, I very much doubted that I could just undo the declaration of affection, and as the saying went, you can’t put the genie back in the bottle. Why must I be so impulsive?
Thankfully, Vinyl found her guitar a few minutes later and we started our rehearsal, or as she dubbed it, our “jam session.” It started off terribly. Neither of us could find a proper musical style that complimented the other’s taste in music, and Vinyl spent a large amount of time making sure her guitar was tuned. Apparently, the last time she had touched it was before she moved back to Ponyville.
“This isn’t working,” I said with a sigh, “You keep trying to play some neighties power ballad and that really doesn’t mix well with the music I know.”
“Yeah,” Vinyl said, levitating the guitar down to the ground. “I don’t really play the guitar too much, mind if I get on the turntable?”
I shrugged, “Sure, have any particular songs in mind?”
She smiled and nodded, “Yeah, I think I got a mix that you will like.”
The song she started playing was… well, I hate saying it was magical, but it seems the best descriptor. It perfectly captured the frenetic compulsion to play and create that I felt the other night when I broke in my new cello. As soon as I heard it, I drew my bow across the cello and began to play along. Vinyl manipulated the record to respond to my playing, and my playing adapted to Vinyl’s music. Our notes built off of each other, and we ran through every genre of music I could imagine. Apparently when played appropriately, the cello can serve as a lovely compliment to modern rock, and no, I can’t actually describe how that happened, I just know that Vinyl and I somehow managed to make it work.
The hours blurred together as we played, and time ceased to have any meaning. The both of us became drenched in sweat as we continued our impromptu concert. We took turns leading, sometimes I would follow Vinyl as she used her mixing board to, as she put it, “drop the bass,” and other times, I would spontaneously riff on a classical melody and Vinyl would help me bring it into the modern era. There was no talking, just two ponies weaving melodies together. Finally, we were both so exhausted we fell back against the wall.
“So…” I said, gasping for breaths, “That was…”
“Yeah,” Vinyl said, nodding her head in agreement.
“Think we should…”
“Probably.”
We both lay next to each other, staring at the ceiling as we caught our breath. A few minutes later, I broke the silence, “There actually wasn’t that much talking on our date.”
Vinyl laughed, “Date’s not over yet, we can still talk about whatever…”
“Alright then,” I said, rolling over to face her, “Why did you agree to go out with me, I hardly seem like your type.”
“Actually,” she said, grinning, “Most of my long term relationships HAVE been with kind of smart, classy mares like you or Lyra, although I guess Lyra is more crazy than classy.”
I arched an eyebrow at that, “Really? When you were describing all your romantic trysts from your college days, it didn’t sound like those mares were particularly classy.”
“Well yeah, but those weren’t long term relationships, those were just… fun. Like this one weekend down in Marexico when—”
I cut her off, “I really don’t care to hear about your past conquests Vinyl. I know communication is supposed to be a cornerstone of a relationship, but I think there have to be limits.”
More laughter, “What makes you think we are in a relationship, we’ve only had one date?”
Blood rushed to my face, had I already ruined things by assuming too much? “Nothing, sorry, I guess I just, well… assumed. After all, our first date had been going so well and…” I let out an exasperated sigh, “It seems I have shoved my hoof in my mouth again. Hooray.”
“It’s fine Tavi, it’s not like this is the first time we spent any time together, we have been living with each other for more than a week, and I think we both knew what to expect when going into this relationship.”
“And, what did you expect?” I asked, curious as to what her plans were.
“Well, I know you’re a bit of a prude, so I was thinking our first date would end in some standard, traditional sex, and then from there we would explore the idea of an orgy and heavy BDSM. You know, the usual.”
My cheeks were absolutely burning, and I stammered for something to say. Thankfully, Vinyl quickly dropped the ruse and burst out laughing. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist. Obviously, we won’t touch the sex stuff until you are ready, I am more than happy just spending time with you, making music with you, and talking. Besides, I a twenty-five, it’s about time I thought of something a little bit more serious, and you seem like the type of mare I can show off to my parents.”
“Wait, you are twenty-five?” I asked, “You’re always so—” Happy, carefree, childish, “Energetic, I just assumed you were about twenty.”
“Tavi, if I was twenty I would still be enrolled in the academy. Nah, I am just young at heart I guess,” she stopped to rest her head on her forelegs, “How old are you?”
“I just turned twenty this year.”
“No way,” Vinyl said, “You're just so… accomplished and stuff, I figured you would at least be old enough to have graduated from the academy. I mean, when I was your age, my biggest accomplishment was completing Canterlot’s Golden Mile.”
“That sounds interesting,” I said, “Is it some sort of charity run or…”
Vinyl shook her head, “It’s a bar crawl. A really fun one, you get to go to all the best bars in Canterlot, and by the end of the night, you are just completely hammered.”
I stared at her, “Really?”
“Hey,” she said, “We can’t all be some super driven pony like you are. For me, having a good time with my friends is a good enough goal.”
“Well, what is your greatest accomplishment now?” I asked.
She deliberated in thought for a few seconds, “It’s a toss-up.”
“Between?”
“Between completing the Canterlot Golden Mile and getting you to lighten up a little bit.” As she said the last bit, her horn lit up and she used her magic to tickle me, and my forehoof reflexively shot out in self defense, managing to connect with her left cheek. Have I mentioned that I am not used to being tickled?
A few minutes later, we were both sitting down in the kitchen and Vinyl had covered one side of her face with an ice pack, I was in the middle of my thirty-seventh apology. “It’s fine,” she said, interrupting me, “Lesson learned, don’t tickle you while I am within striking distance.”
“So, the date isn’t horribly ruined?” I asked.
“Nah, it’s fine. I’ve had far worse first dates. Like this one time, a mare tried to get me to join a cult. That was a weird couple of months.”
“Wait, did you actually join the cult?”
She blushed, “Well, the thing was, she was really, really good in bed. Like, she did stuff with a ceiling fan that would blow your mind.”
“What was our rule about discussing past relationships?” I asked.
“Don’t talk about them.”
I nodded, “Because now I am going to be spending the next few weeks thinking about what in Equestria she could have done with a ceiling fan that was so good.”
“I could just—” she began before I cut her off.
“Vinyl, I neither need nor want to know the particulars of what she did. Let’s just leave it to the imagination.” My horrible, overactive imagination.
“Sure,” she said, shrugging her shoulders.
We were both quiet for a while before I remembered something else she mentioned, “You mentioned something about showing me off to your parents, do they know that you are…”
“That I prefer mares to stallions? Yeah, they are pretty cool like that. They say as long as I am happy, they are happy.”
“They sound like lovely ponies,” I said.
“Yeah, they are pretty cool, right? I mean, they’d have to be to raise me.”
We both laughed at that, before Vinyl spoke back up, “But what about you, tell me about the parents of the great Octavia Melody?”
I frowned at that, “It’s something of a sore subject. They decided that since I was committed to being a musician as opposed to taking a proper job, then I could go live my life without their assistance.”
“Woah, you mean the kicked you out?”
I nodded.
“Just because you wanted to be a musician?”
More nodding.
“Well, how old were you?”
I paused to think for a second, “Twelve, I think, though it might have been when I was thirteen. I do remember that it was about four years after I got my cutie mark.”
Vinyl’s face had turned into a frown, “And why didn’t they kick you out immediately after you got your cutie mark?”
“Well, they weren’t completely heartless, first they wanted to convince me to pick a more sensible and proper music-related career path, but even then, I just knew I wanted to play my cello. Eventually, when it was clear that I wouldn’t listen to reason and was determined to go ahead with what they saw as a foolish career path, they kicked me out in the hopes of persuading me. They said all I had to do to be allowed back in was to give them the cello Grandmother Philharmonica bought for me. Obviously, I didn’t do that, so my banishment still stands.”
“That’s… that’s terrible.”
“I suppose it could seem like that to an outsider,” I said, “but they only wanted what they deemed best for me. Still, I wish they would at least show up to one of my concerts that I keep inviting them to.”
“You mean they never showed up to any of your gigs?” Vinyl asked.
I shook my head, “Well, they were invited to the Grand Galloping Gala, but they didn’t say a word to me.” I frowned, “I wanted to show them that a musician could actually be respectable that night, but then Pinkie came and… well, she did what she does.”
“Wow,” Vinyl said, “No wonder you were so pissed when you saw her. I mean, she pretty much ruined one of your few chances of making up with your parents, although I still think they were being jerks kicking you out in the first place.”
I shrugged, “Perhaps, but I would still like to reconcile with them. They are my parents after all,” I smiled slightly, “But I am sure you don’t want to hear me complain about my parents on our first date.”
“It’s alright, this is kind of what people do on dates, talk about their lives and share stories. Now I know a bit more about why you're the way you are… no offense.”
“None taken, and I suppose it does explain a bit about my… more peculiar behaviors. Truthfully though, I never really thought about it.”
“Well, whatever,” Vinyl said, “Even if your parents were total jerks, they made you you, so that is pretty cool in my book.”
I had to laugh at that, “You have a point there Vinyl, I can always count on you to make the best of a bad situation.” We locked eyes, and something inside my head clicked. This was a mare who didn’t just tolerate me, but was actually fond of me. She was there to cheer me up during my foul moods and celebrate in my minor and mostly inconsequential victories against the town. Just by virtue of spending time with her, my day had substantially improved. I did the only thing I could think of. I kissed her.
To my great surprise, she kissed back.
And of course, that moment had to be interrupted by somepony knocking on the door.
“Who could that be?” Vinyl asked. I had a sneaking suspicion, but I wasn’t about to share it. The knocking came again.
“I think we should answer it,” Vinyl said, pulling away from me.
Standing up, I nodded my head, “That would probably be for the best,” I said as I headed to the door. If I was very lucky, the pony at the door wouldn’t be—
“Ahh, Sir Royal Riff, I had a suspicion that was you,” I said as I opened the door. Of course it was him, I was finally enjoying myself and, as Vinyl liked to describe it, “letting my mane down,” and then he had to show up. Still, I had to stifle my urge to laugh as I saw the bits of confetti still lodged in his mane.
He glared at me, “I hope you enjoyed your time with Pinkie Pie,” I said, doing my best to smile.
“Who in Equestria could possibly enjoy time spent with that madmare? She is completely unhinged.” While I did mostly agree with him, the mare was still my friend and she usually meant well, even if her methodology was… rather unique.
“Oh, she’s not so bad,” I said, waving a hoof in the air, “She just wants to make everypony smile.”
“I had to put up with her for four hours. Four hours of her singing and throwing confetti in the air, and being a general nuisance just because she thought I looked like a quote ‘grumpy-grumperson.’ Hopefully, I won’t have to deal with her again.
“Actually,” I said, “She is in the orchestra. Pretty important part of it too.”
His right eye twitched. Was that what I looked like when I was absolutely seething on the inside? “What instrument does she play?”
“Oh, not much,” I said, working to keep a straight face, “Just the drums, accordion, trombone, cymbals, harmonica, and a few others I am probably forgetting.” Was I being perhaps a touch cruel to my role model? Yes. But, he insulted my friends, and I could not abide that.
“But which one will she be playing in the orchestra?” He asked, his voice straining as he struggled to process the day’s events.
“Oh, she plays all of them simultaneously. I wouldn’t have an orchestra without her.”
“That…” He was quickly regaining his composure, “That’s impossible, but then, I shouldn’t be surprised, this whole town is impossible. It is filled with a bunch of inbred hicks who have no idea what actual sophistication looks like. The only pony who might have the foggiest clue is the fashion designer, and based on her architectural design choice, I suspect her clothes are those of the poseur and not the true artist. Besides, nopony with any actual talent would choose to live here longer than absolutely necessary.”
“Actually,” I said as Vinyl walked up behind me, “Both Vinyl and Lyra are very talented musicians, and they love it here.”
“Oh yes, the lunatic and the DJ. Truly, they are role-models for us all.”
Vinyl was about to say something, but I cut her off, “That is enough, they might not be as classy and sophisticated as you or I, but they are my friends, and you will not come into my house and insult them.” I took a step forward, pushing him past the door’s threshold. “I know this town is terrible, I agree with you on that, but the ponies here are absolutely wonderful, and are probably the only reason I am still holding on to my sanity. You will not insult them.”
He tilted his head, “I am sorry, which part of the town do you detest then? Is it the architecture? I quite like the rustic aesthetic. Is it the weather? During my time here the temperature was fair and the sun was shining. No, I think it has to be this town’s citizens that are driving you up the wall, even though you obviously can’t admit it to yourself. The ponies here ARE crazy, and without them, your time here would have been far less stressful. Sure a few of them might keep you from snapping, but that is only so the others can savor stripping away every last bit of sanity you possess.”
As he spoke, I felt myself crumpling up. Maybe he had a point. As much as I wanted to deny it, most of my problems did arise from my interaction with other ponies. Without them, my time in this town would have been far simpler. “But don’t worry,” he continued, “ I will form a proper orchestra for this town, and you can go and do whatever you want, in fact, you can go back home tomorrow for all I care. Princess Luna deserves the best orchestra possible, and it is clear to me that you cannot deliver upon that. I will be writing a letter that explains the situation tonight, and as soon as she responds, I will be taking over.”
With that, he slammed the door shut and stormed out, I continued to sit and stare at the door. It felt like his speech had completely hollowed me out, he was going to take over the orchestra and then I was going to have to go back to Canterlot and leave all of my friends behind.
I soon felt a pair of forelegs wrap around me, “Hey, it’s alright Tavi. I am sure that Princess Luna won’t grant his request and there won’t be a thing he can do about it.
“It’s not that,” I said, doing my best to keep myself from crying. “I could probably convince Luna not to grant his request, but he was right, he can create a far better orchestra than I could, and the princess deserves the very best.” I tried to smile, “Maybe if I apologize and ask nicely enough, he will still let me be first chair.”
“Well… you aren’t going back to Canterlot are you?” Vinyl asked, “I mean, you couldn’t if you wanted to be the first chair, right?”
“Yes,” I said, slowly getting up to my hooves, “But… maybe I should go back to Canterlot, there… I had a life there. It wasn’t a great life, but it was mine and I would be free from this town’s… insanity. Maybe I should just pack up and head back home. I don’t think I want to be in Royal Riff’s orchestra anyways.”
“Come on Tavi,” Vinyl said, putting on her best smile, “You aren’t just giving up like that are you? I have seen you go through some truly crazy things and just keep on keeping on. I mean, you met Discord earlier today, and that barely phased you. Now you are just going to call it quits because some guy was a jerk to you?”
“It’s not that,” I said, taking a few steps towards the stairs. My entire body felt like it was made of lead, and the color seemed to have drained out of the world, “This was my last chance to get my career back on track, to be something my family could be proud of. I suppose my parents were right after all. I am sure I will find something to do though.”
Vinyl stared at me as I walked up the stairs, “No they weren’t, you are brilliant Tavi, and if you can’t see that, then I will show you.” She ran out after that, probably to act on some harebrained scheme to try to cheer me up. I had to smile a bit at that, even when things were terrible, Vinyl still couldn’t admit I had lost. If things had gone better in Ponyville, I would have probably grown to love her. As things stood now, it was just another might have been in a life filled with could-haves and should-haves. I stumbled into bed, the journal entry could wait until tomorrow, and I didn’t particularly feel like playing the cello at the moment. All I wanted to do was close my eyes and wait for this whole thing to end.