To Rarity’s credit, it was only after several minutes of Twilight ignoring her soothing hugs and repetitive apologies that she finally gave in and left Twilight to her mourning.
Spike was dead.
Every time those words flashed through her mind, Twilight would shudder involuntarily and curl herself tighter into a ball on Rarity’s carpet. Dried tears matted the fur underneath her eyes together.
Spike was dead.
Technically, that wasn’t true. Twilight understood that he was alive in some form, but any memories of her were likely to have been erased from his damaged mind. Dragons in a forced-aged state were highly dangerous and territorial creatures. Visiting him could prove lethal without adequate protection, and would waste even more of her time in this world.
Not that it mattered how much additional time she wasted. All of her attempts to piece her friends’ shattered lives back together would be in vein, because there would always be one dragon-sized piece missing.
Spike was dead.
“DAMN IT!” Twilight shrieked at the ceiling and reared. Her front hooves landed heavily onto the floor, and she very nearly stumbled. Her breaths came in short bouts through her nose, and she glared at the couch in front of her. Sparks flew involuntarily from her horn, her cataclysmic emotions nearly causing her to set the couch in front of her on fire. As soon as she realized this, she took a step back both physically and metaphorically.
She could not allow herself to bring her own anger out on the couch’s owner. Twilight knew better than to listen to Rarity’s pleas for forgiveness; she had not done anything wrong. In fact, she had been the only one who had tried to help Spike in what must had been the hardest time in his young life. Applejack and Fluttershy hadn’t even mentioned him…
For the first time, Twilight doubted her friends. Did they honestly not know about this? Were they avoiding the topic to save her feelings? Hoping to pin the job onto somepony else?
Twilight sunk back to the carpet. It didn’t matter anymore. She didn’t care. There was no hope of salvaging what they had once had, and what reason would they have to remain friends with the pony who destroyed all of their lives with one careless, thoughtless, selfish mistake?
Twilight closed her eyes and hung her head. The spell had, at least, given her the answer she was looking for. “I would have made a terrible princess…” She spoke the words out loud, but her whispers were so soft that they blended in with the quiet room and were barely audible even to her own ears.
The message rang clear in her mind all the same.
Ding ding ding dong!
A pleasant melody played by bells echoed through the room. Twilight raised her head and glanced around in confusion, the oddity of the sounds enough to momentarily distract her.
A high pitched squeal came from the room over, and Twilight’s ears twitched to follow the sound. “Rarity, Rarity!” Sweetie Belle cried. “The gate, oh my gosh, Rarity look at the - ”
“Sweetie Belle!” Rarity said sternly, which quickly silenced her younger sister. “Go take the kids outside, please.”
“Uh, a-alright! Wow, though, just… wow.”
Twilight could hear hoofsteps approaching the room, and she watched as Rarity appeared in the doorway. “Twilight…” Rarity frowned. “I know you aren’t at your best right now, but there’s somepony here to see you.”
Twilight looked away. “I… I dunno if I…” She sighed. “Well, who is it?”
“Twilight Sparkle?” The soft, motherly tone nearly caused Twilight to crick her neck as she spun her head around. Princess Celestia herself walked past Rarity and stared at the other side of the room in disbelief. She still had the same long, pastel flowing mane and the same necklace and golden shoes, but Twilight immediately noticed that she was missing her crown. “I… I thought…” Her stunned expression held for a few moments longer before she substituted it for a sad smile. “It has been a long ten years, Twilight, though I believe it’s been a much shorter timeframe for you. If you would like to meet with me at a later date instead, I understand.”
Twilight shook her head and stood up. Hope, she knew, was a dangerous phenomenon. It had gotten her this far in her journey for answers, only to leave her wishing she could take it all back and remain ignorant. Still, hopeful was what she felt as she trotted to Princess Celestia and nuzzled against her when she dipped her neck. She knew she was grasping at bits of hay, but Celestia was her last hope at reversing everything; she was the most powerful magic-wielder in Equestria, as far as Twilight knew. “I’m so sorry, Princess…”
“I’ll leave you two be…” Rarity said softly. Twilight looked over in time to see her violet tail disappear through the door.
“Twilight,” Princess Celestia said. Her serious tone was unnerving. “I cannot do anything to reverse the spell. You understand this, right?”
Twilight felt the last bit of hope leave her. She shifted her gaze to the ground, ashamed that she would allow herself to even think it could be undone… after all, then there would be two Twilight Sparkles running around Equestria. “You… you can’t do anything?” Twilight repeated, the words sounding much more frail coming out of her own mouth.
Celestia gently shook her head and frowned. “The spell you used should not have been able to trap you this far into the future. Even if we did have possession of the time spells right now, I don’t believe there were any that would allow permanent backward time travel to that degree…”
Twilight nodded glumly to show she understood. She mentally and disgruntledly tacked “time travel spells” to the “list of magic she was abnormally good at”. For the first time that she could recall, she resented her cutie mark. “What am I supposed to do now?” Twilight’s voice was shaky, and she stared up at Celestia with tear-stained eyes.
Princess Celestia simply watched her. “What do you mean, Twilight?”
“I mean… I’ve destroyed my entire life, and taken the lives of everypony close to me down with it…” Twilight stared up at her lifelong mentor. “How will I ever recover from that? How can I?”
Celestia continued to watch with a small frown. “Twilight, you have not destroyed anypony’s life.”
Twilight’s brow furrowed. “Princess, Spike is… h-he’s gone. You know he’s gone!”
Princess Celestia’s mouth creased, and she began walking toward the center of Rarity’s sitting area. “Twilight, come sit with me.” Twilight had already begun following her. Twilight took the chair she had been curled in before, while Celestia took the red couch. There was silence for a few moments before Celestia continued. “Twilight… I cannot express how sorry I am to have put you and Spike through so much pain.”
Twilight frowned. “Why are you apologizing? I’m the one who travelled ten years into the future and left Spike here all by himself!”
“That’s not it, Twilight.” Princess Celestia sighed. “Tell me: what did you expect would happen to Spike when you aged and eventually passed away? Would the scenario have changed any? Would Spike, who would still be physically and emotionally very immature, be able to move past the deaths of the ponies closest to him?”
Twilight considered the princess’s words for a moment. “I… I never really thought about it before today, but… didn’t you plan it that way?” Twilight asked. “I would become an alicorn, and even when everypony else passed on around us, we would always have each other?”
“Twilight, you say that as if you would be alright with that situation.”
Twilight looked down. “I wouldn’t really have a choice…”
“That’s not true.” Princess Celestia said, and Twilight curiously looked back up. “Immortality is an option when you are an alicorn, but it is not a curse. If I had ever felt secure with the future of Equestria, I would have passed on long ago, but because of what happened with Luna, I refrained.” Twilight listened in amazement. “I’ve endured so much heartache watching my loved ones die before I would ever allow myself the same fate… when I look at you, Twilight,” Celestia stared over with heavy eyes. “I see a mare who cares too dearly for her friends to withstand the pain of long outliving them. This is not a weakness; you’ve taught me so much about friendship. Dying for your friends is the most noble and logical sacrifice you could have made.”
Twilight winced. “I-I… I would never abandon Spike, though!”
“But what of Spike, who would have no choice?” Celestia said softly. “I ask you again, Twilight: would the scenario really have played out any differently?”
Twilight gritted her teeth. Dragons surely weren’t built to endure such heavy emotional blows. “I… I’m not sure.” It was a disconcerting realization, but had she considered it ten years ago, perhaps it would not have been so definitive. “If I’d known about this, maybe I could have prepared him…”
“Sometimes it takes a tragedy for us to open our eyes, and by then it is far too late.” Celestia bowed her head. “Ponykind knows so little about dragons… If the answer was at all uncertain to me, it should have been my job to introduce Spike back to his own kind when I came across his egg. Instead I decided his long life span was abusable… this is my mistake, Twilight, and a terrible one at that. I am very sorry.”
Twilight hesitated, and then slowly nodded. “I’m still confused about something, though.”
“And what is that, Twilight?”
Twilight narrowed her eyes. “Why did Luna tell me she didn’t know what happened to Spike?”
Princess Celestia tipped her head slightly to the right. “She told you that?”
“That’s right. She told me to ask Rarity.”
“Ah.” Princess Celestia nodded. “Luna did not know Spike personally. She probably felt it wasn’t her place to explain something so big to you.”
It was an acceptable reason, but it still bothered Twilight. It was unfair to have so much information withheld from her. How much more was she missing? “I’ve hurt my other friends, too,” Twilight confessed. “Applejack’s whole life is pretty much in shambles, and it all started when I left! She said that Rainbow Dash destroyed her farm because she was trying to relieve her grief. And that’s had an effect on Fluttershy, even though she hates Applejack," Twilight's voice was slowly increasing in volume as she continued to talk, "and now she still has to live in Ponyville which is basically dead which I think I can attribute to the collapse of Sweet Apple Acres which if you refer back is my fault and it’s not fair because she has a baby on the way and - !” she practically shouted the last few words, which she only realized when she had to stop for a moment to breathe. She blushed at her loud ramble, but Celestia was still listening politely. “Sorry... and, um, well… Rarity and Sweetie Belle, too. I mean, I think Sweetie said something about Rarity leaving Ponyville because of me…” Twilight was choosing her words much more carefully now, as she knew Rarity could very well be within hearing distance. “And Sweetie Belle, I-I’m still struggling to fathom her life… this isn’t how she was meant to be living, she was such a sweet little filly…”
“Twilight…” Celestia said, regarding Twilight seriously. “How certain are you that those events are your fault?”
Twilight blinked. “Well… it makes sense, doesn’t it?”
Princess Celestia smiled kindly. “Think back to your time, Twilight. If Rarity had decided to open a shop in Canterlot, would you not have supported that notion?”
“Well, I mean, yeah I’d support her…” Twilight rubbed the back of her neck sheepishly. “It’s always been her dream to open a shop in Canterlot. But I don’t think she planned on having everything happen so quickly.”
“Plans can change, Twilight. Rarity has accomplished a lot in her short time; she has a lot to be proud of.”
“Okay, sure, but what about Applejack?”
Princess Celestia didn’t waver. “You were not present for any of those events. It is impossible for you to take the blame.”
“But Rainbow Dash destroyed Applejack’s trees because of me!”
Princess Celestia smiled a little. “Twilight, how are you so sure of something like that?”
Twilight sighed. “Applejack told me so!”
“And Rainbow Dash?”
“…I haven’t seen her. Not yet.”
“Then her motive is unknown. Regardless, she is responsible for her actions, not you.”
Twilight looked away. “I… I understand, but…”
“There is nothing wrong with wanting to help your friends, but doing so because you feel you need to fix problems you have not created is not fair to you.”
“I…” Twilight felt her emotions start to bubble over, and choked back tears. “Y-you think I can still fix this?”
Princess Celestia smiled knowingly. “I’m not sure if ‘fix’ is the right term, but I have hundreds of claw-written scrolls that tell in great detail everything a certain student of mine has learned about friendship.” Twilight looked over with a grateful smile. “I have no doubt that you will be able to help your friends through whatever troubles they are going through.”
Twilight nodded. Even if things couldn’t be put back to the way they were, maybe she would still be able to help… “Thank you, Princess.”
“You’re welcome, my faithful student.”
“…But I have a question.”
Celestia looked at Twilight curiously. “And what might that be?”
“Um… what happened to your crown?”
Princess Celestia chuckled and glanced upward. “Oh, I don’t wear it when I’m not on duty. Luna is taking care of the sun for me at the moment.”
Twilight quirked a brow. “Oh… It’s just, I’ve never seen you without it before.”
“You’ve never seen me take a break,” Princess Celestia explained. “Being a princess can be hard work.”
Twilight’s ears flattened as she was reminded of why she had attempted the spell in the first place. “O-oh…”
Twilight was worried that Celestia was going to try to steer the topic to Twilight’s once-imminent princesshood, but to her relief she did not. “I was at the Crystal Empire, visiting your family.” Princess Celestia said instead.
“Oh.” Twilight grinned. “Shining Armor? Wait, do my parents live there too? That would make sense, right?” Twilight eyes widened considerably as she took in this information. “My death must have been absolutely terrible for them…” Twilight looked away guility. Her poor parents, forced to metaphorically bury their daughter from a demise that they would have had no preparation for…
Princess Celestia nodded sadly. “It was a very hard time for everypony… but fortunately, it didn’t take long for you to re-enter their lives. In spirit, of course.”
Twilight gave Celestia an odd look. “What do you mean?”
Princess Celestia smiled. “Shining Armor and Princess Cadance named their daughter after you.”
“…What?!” Twilight was sent reeling from this information. “Why doesn’t anypony tell me these kind of things?!”
Twilight could already hear Fluttershy’s tiny voice in her mind: ‘Y-you didn’t know? I… I thought you knew! I thought Applejack would have told you… I’m sorry.’
Ugh. She mentally kicked herself for not being more direct with her questions.
“They named her ‘Twilight Skies’, though she prefers to go by ‘Skyla’,” Celestia continued. “She’s an alicorn like her mother, and a very bright child: just like her aunt.”
Twilight leapt off of the chair. “Well, that’s settled; I’m going to the Crystal Empire.”
Princess Celestia laughed softly. “I have a private chariot waiting outside for you.”
Twilight smiled sheepishly at her mentor. “You know me too well.”
“I’m sorry for saving that information for last…” Princess Celestia smiled for a moment before it faded into a serious frown. “Twilight, I will not lie to you; when I thought I’d lost you, I didn’t know what to do with myself. For three days, Luna had to raise both the sun and the moon because I needed time to grieve.” Twilight listened sadly. “Without the support of Luna and Cadance, I don’t know what I would have done. Just like I needed them, you need your friends and family to help you readjust; and you will readjust with time, Twilight. I will always be here for you.”
Twilight approached and the two exchanged affectionate neck rubs. “Thank you, Princess.”
The two of them exited the room, and Twilight looked around for Rarity before leaving. “Rarity?” she called.
Rarity trotted into the entryway. “Oh, Twilight! You aren’t going now, are you?”
Twilight nodded. “Thank you for having me over, but I need to go visit my family in the Crystal Empire.”
“Oh!” Rarity looked between Twilight and Celestia, seeming a bit flustered. “Right, of course! Er, but Twilight? Can you promise to come visit me again once you’re finished over there?”
Twilight nodded. “Of course I’ll come visit you again, Rarity!”
“Oh, oh good!” Rarity’s eyes flicked from Celestia to Twilight. “And, uh, promise to come back here before you go visit Rainbow Dash. I-I know that she would be the next one you would want to see! But er, please, please come back here first…”
“Um… okay, Rarity.” Twilight was a bit surprised by the request, but dismissed it and wrapped Rarity in a hug. “I’ll see you soon, okay? Tell Sweetie Belle and the foals I said bye.”
“I’ll be sure to do that!” Rarity turned to Princess Celestia and bowed hastily. “I hope my home was up to standards…”
Celestia gave her a gentle smile. “It’s every bit as beautiful as your clothing designs, Rarity.”
“Oh, that’s very flattering, thank you!” Rarity turned sadly back to Twilight. “Goodbye, then!”
Twilight magically opened the door and waved. “Bye!”
Waiting outside were two royal chariots, both headed by two pegasus guards, just as Celestia had described. “I’ll be going back to the castle if you need me, Twilight. The guards know where to take you.”
Twilight nodded and walked up to the smaller chariot in amazement. She turned back to Celestia before getting in. “Thank you for everything…” Celestia may not have given her the quick solution she had been hoping for, but she knew now it was too early to give up. It was painful to think of Spike, but she had other ponies that needed her attention. The thought of seeing her family again made her both excited and extremely nervous for their reaction.
Celestia bowed her head. “Good luck, my student… I wish you all the best.”