Interview 3 - Sunny Daze
*Begin recording*
Von: Okay, here we go again. Despite my… *interviewer clears throat* earlier failings, we’re going to keep plugging away at this in the interview format. I had contemplated just jotting down each character’s pertinent information, but I want to keep kidnapping the poor fools and subjecting them to a battery of questions. As you just read, I’m a read cruel asshole to my creations. I am going to eliminate the height and weight question though, as well as cut down the number of song picks they and I both pick down to two. So yeah. Without further ado, let’s talk to some ponies.
*BAMF!*
Von: Welcome! How are you, gentleman?
Sunny: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Von: Whoa! Whoa there, guy.
Sunny: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Von: Calm down. Sunny. You’re alright.
Sunny: AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Von: I SAID SHUT UP!
*Slapping noise, then silence*
Von: Better?
Sunny: How did this happen?
Von: I teleported you from the story into the non-canon zone.
Sunny: No, man. How am I hallucinating?
Von: Say what now?
Sunny: I never took nothing. I’ve always been so careful. Did somebody slip me something?
Von: You’re not hallucinating. I assure you, I’m very much real.
Sunny: I bet it was Gilda, wasn’t it? “I’ma big, mean griffon! I’ma put some pot in Sunny’s food! It’s gonna be hilarious!”
Von: I’m telling you-
Sunny: Oh man! Was it bath salts!?
Von: I just want to ask you some questions, Sunny.
Sunny: I bet I’m eating some guy’s face RIGHT NOW! Oh man oh man! I’m a vegetarian! I can’t eat people!
Von: Okay, good. That’s a start. What is your favorite food.
Sunny: Double dark chocolate ice cream. I tried to go vegan once, but I couldn’t live without ice cream.
Von: Very good. See? That wasn’t so hard was it? Now we’re getting-
Sunny: Dude, I could go for some ice cream right now. Oh no! Is this the munchies? I’ve got the munchies! Noooo!
Von: *exasperated sigh*
Sunny: This is the worst thing ever!
Von: God, I need a drink. And I don’t even drink.
Sunny: Me neither. That’s smart, dude. Don’t want to get drunk and lose control of yourself.
Von: Sur-
Sunny: Like now! Oh god, I’m probably flying under the influence right now! I’m gonna crash and kill a bus full of kids!
Von: Oh my god, shut up!
*Silence*
Von: I am an author. You are a character in a story I am writing. This is an interlude between chapters. I’m conducting an interview so I can put together a profile so the readers can get to know you better. I need you to please calm down so I can ask you some questions. Do you understand?
*Silence*
Sunny: My hallucination is MEAN.
Von: Forget it. Fuckin’... forget it! I’m done.
*BAMF!*
Von: I don’t know why expected this to be any better. I’m just gonna pull the answers out of his brain and be done with it. I think this may be the last straw. These things are going to give me an ulcer.
*Recording ends*
Name: Former: Watson, Dave
Current: Sunny Daze
Coat Color: mustard-y yellow
Mane Color: orange-ity orange
Eye Color: ketchup-y red
Cutie Mark: content-looking sun
Blood Type: AB+
Birthday: May 2, 1995
Occupation: “urban farmer” (marijuana grower)
Brony: yes
Favorite Food: double dark chocolate ice cream
Favorite Drink: (doesn’t drink)
Favorite Color: forest green
Songs: Subject’s picks: (Despite being told to pick only two, the subject thought about a dozen songs in
extremely quick succession. These were the only three able to be made out.
It's Not Easy Being Green (Kermit the Frog)
Smarter Than U (The Undertones)
Bad Moon Rising (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
Author’s pick: Get In Line (Barenaked Ladies)
The Fool on the Hill (The Beatles)
Meet One Person: Billy Mays
Super Power: flight (subject seems to forget he can already do this)
Hobby: video games
Childhood Memory: growing a bean in kindergarten
First Kiss: 13 years old, Shannon McKenna, extra sloppy makeouts