Good Griff!

by Von Snootingham

Ch. 07: Me And My Shadow

I wake up with a start. Just like yesterday, I just go from asleep to awake with no in-between, but this morning, I’m panting in terror. I’m Gilda- I mean Gilda- I mean Gayle (fuck, what is wrong with me) and I’m not scared of anything. But right now, I’m paralyzed in absolute gut-clenching, knee-shaking, pants-shitting terror. If I still could, I’m sure I would be sweating bullets.

I remember every detail of the dream. Every horrible thing and dead pony I saw. When I think of the unit of ponies I was with, I feel a deep sadness and sense of loss. For some reason, I feel like I let someone down. It doesn’t make any sense. Shit, if this Discord is really real, he really is a monster.

That dream wasn’t like anything I’ve ever experienced before. I’ve never had a dream that real. Not only was everything so clear, but all of my senses worked. I could smell the smoke and feel the pain of being smashed over the back of the head. I’ve never had that. But it also felt like those other blurry dreams I’ve been having: familiar, like a memory, but without being anything I actually remember happening.

Whatever. The past is the past, whatever it is, so best to just focus on the future and get this day started.

When I’ve calmed down, I see I’ve woken up just as the first rays of the sun are creeping between the blinds and I quickly take stock of my surroundings. Both things must be remnants of my military training. …Wait, my what? I’ve never been in the military. I- whatever.

Anyway, I’m in the rented cabin, all curled up nose to ass (or beak to ass), like a cat, in a little nest of blankets. Fuckin’ weird. I roll over off the bed and land on the floor with a loud thump. Ha, I guess cats really do always land on their feet. I’m all stiff and sore from that godawful bed. Weren’t we going to bring back clouds to sleep on last night? I need to loosen myself up, so I extend my everything, in a big cat-like stretch. I feel my spine and joints popping, all of my muscles taut, every part of me waking up. Oh my GOD, does that feel good. It’s almost better than sex. No wonder cats are always doing this all the time.

From behind me and to my left, I hear a sniff and a drowsy voice mumble, “Hey, nice show.  What a sight to wake up to. I thought the full moon was tonight.”

I look back, further than my neck used to be able to move, and see Sunny Daze, laying on his side, his head raised, one eye still shut. His other eye has a perfect view of my ass. I gave up on even wearing underwear yesterday, so he can see everything.

I chuckle. “Ha, you wish you could a piece of this, motherfucker,” I smirk, “Too bad for you, this is way too much for any stallion, erm, man to handle.”

Sunny opens his other eye. “Someone’s full of herself,” he mumbles.

“Bitch, you’re just sour-grapin’ you don’t stand a chance with this hotness,” I shoot back. “I just wish there were two of me so I could fuck myself.”

Sunny rolls his eyes then puts his head back down. “Well, keep it down, will ya, your hotness? Some of us are trying to sleep,” he grumbles.

“Don’t go back to sleep,” I suggest. “We have to get up and move out into the woods today. We better do it now before there are a lot of people around.”

Sunny sighs. “Alright, alright. I’m up,” he moans. He rolls to his belly and then carefully jumps down off the bed. He stretches himself, but it doesn’t look like he enjoys it half as much as I did.

“Get some breakfast, then we’ll pack up the car and check out. Food’s in the bag at the end of bed,” I tell him. “Just don’t eat my jerky,” I add.

“Hey, I been vegetarian for years,” he calls back.

Then I move over to Bones to wake her up. Of course, she’s still out like a light. “Hey Bones,” I whisper. Nothing.

“Whatchu got in here?” Sunny asks.

“Hey. Bones,” I whisper a little louder, and gently poke my friend. Nothing.

“What is this? Plain Cheerios? How boring,” Sunny complains.

“Bones, wake up,” I say, no longer quiet, and shake her lightly. Still nothing. Though, she does twitch a little bit and furrow her brow.

“Oh my sweet baby Jesus on a cracker, when did plain oat get so good?” Sunny shouts around a mouthful of cereal.

“WAKE UP, LAZY BONES!” I shout. She still doesn’t wake up, but she whimpers a little and has a scared look on her face. She must be having a nightmare.

“Dude, you’re loud,” Sunny says in between shoveling hoof-fulls of cereal into his face.

I look over at him. “I’m about to get a whole lot louder. Cover your ears; we’re doing this the hard way,” I warn. Then I take a deep breath and…

“SKREEAAWW!”

It’s not as loud as yesterday morning, but still louder than anyone has business being before the sun is all the way up. Bones’ eyes open slowly, looking straight up.

“It’s all a… a dream,” she says.

“Yeah, it was just dream. You were just having a bad dream, Bones. I think it’s going around,” I reassure her. “Time to get up.”

“No, dude, she was quoting Bebop. Actually, the start of your response was almost exactly right,” Sunny says and takes a sip from a water bottle. Huh. How did he get it open?

Bones turns to look at me, seeing me for the first time. “Huh? Gilda?” she asks, completely confused, “Where am I?”

“You fell asleep out in the woods last night and we brought you to bed. But now it’s time to get up. We got to get moving,” I order. I give her a punch on the foreleg, then go to get some breakfast for myself.

Bones looks bewildered, then grunts. “Oh yeah. Did you bastards have fun breaking physics?” she snorts, then rolls over.

“Uh uh uh!” I shout, “Wake your lazy ass up, Lazy!”

She grunts again, then rolls back over. “Fine, fine.” She swings her legs over the side of the bed and tries to sit up. But instead, she falls forward, hitting the floor square on her face, her ass sticking up in the air. Guess she didn’t realize she was full pony. I know that shit’s rough, so I try to keep from laughing.

“BAH HA HA HA Haaaaa!” I bust out laughing. I didn’t say I tried very hard. Sunny is right there with me, laughing his ass off.

Bones groans and adjusts herself into a sitting position. She rubs her face with her front hoof, but stops in confusion. She looks at her hoof and then jerks it away in shock. She looks at the other hoof, then down at herself. “Holy fuck!” she gasps.

“Problems?” I ask. We both chuckle. Hey, it’s not like we didn’t go through the same thing ourselves.

“This isn’t funny,” Bone spits.

“Yeah, it kinda is,” Sunny giggles.

“Yeah, I’m laffin’ over here,” Bones growls and tries to stand up. It doesn’t work real well.

“Aw, chubby’s gwumpy. Why the long face?” I snicker.

Bones groans and rolls her eyes. “Har har har. I’ll tell you why. I woke up and was a horse,” she says, still trying to find her hooves. “Woke up far too early, I might add. You’re always waking me up.”

“You’re always sleeping,” I retort.

“But, why’s it have to be so early?” Bones whines, then smirks, “Need to get your worm, early bird?”

Okay, point to her on that one. “Touché,” I give in. Sunny’s looking back and forth between us, giggling. “Still, we gotta check out of this shithole and head out to the woods to lay low for the day. Come get some food. Then the two of us,” I gesture to Sunny and myself, “will pack up while you get your sea legs.”

Bones finally manages to stand and sorta of pushes/drags herself over to us. We eat our breakfast in silence. Well, except for the sound of Sunny loudly om-nom-noming his way through the cereal. I eat the rest of the jerky we brought inside, but it’s not enough. I’m craving something more, but I’m not sure what. Afterward, Sunny and I pack up all of our shit and start bringing it out to the car.

Or that was the plan anyway. Sunny has to carry stuff in his mouth, but for me, it’s easier to use my hands and just fly. The very second I’ve landed next to the car, I hear a voice.

“Ah HA!” shouts a familiar voice. The asshole from yesterday steps out from around behind a nearby tree, holding up a phone. "I knew you people were up… to...” he trails off as he sees us.

Ah, fuck my life.

The three of us stand there, just staring at each other in shock, me by the car, Sunny on the porch, and Nosey McShitstain by the tree. No one says anything.

“Hey guys!” Bones calls from inside. She slides into the doorframe, her hoodie draped over her more like a robe. “Where are my glasses…”she stops when she sees the situation. Nosey absently thumbs his phone and I hear a camera shutter noise. Click!

There’s a blur and before anyone even realizes it, myself included, I’m on top of him. I’m pinning him to the ground, my paws holding his legs, my left hand on his arm, and my right talons squeezing his neck, not quite breaking skin. Instinct, baby.

Of course, now that I have him, what do I do with him? Something tells me I need to scare the shit out of this guy so he doesn’t even think of fucking with us again.

“One little flick of my talons and you don’t have a throat anymore,” I growl at him. “Oh, it would be so nice. It’s been so long since I’ve had anything so, mmm, fresh,” I coo. I run my tongue up his face and I snap my beak right in his ear. Nosey flinches. He’s shaking violently now and I feel something warm and wet run under my paw.

“Gilda! Easy!” Bones shouts.

“What- what are you people!?” the man gasps.

I take my face out of Nosey’s and loosen my grip on his neck a little, but I keep my eyes narrowed and the growl in my voice. “We just wanted to be left alone. What the fuck is your problem, man?”

“Yeah! And what did you mean, ‘you people’?” asks Sunny in fake outrage.

“Not now!” I snap at him. I turn back to the terrified man under me, “Talk! What’s your deal, shitbucket?”

“I-I-I.” he stammers, “There-there’s been reports of people selling dr-drugs around here recently and you were acting suspicious.”

I look over at Sunny. He sits on his haunches and holds up his forelegs in a defensive gesture, shaking his head. I look back at Nosey.

“N-now people are talking about a big animal in the area. I-I thought you were keeping a mountain lion or something,” he whimpers.

“So, what? You waited out here all night and were going to confront the scary drug dealers with the wild animal by yourself?” I ask and squeeze his throat a little. He just sobs in response.

“Gilda… Come on,” Bones urges.

I look over at her. She looks really uneasy. I look down at the man and snort. “Get the fuck out of here, you little cockbite. Don’t ever let me see you again,” I order him and snap my beak in his face. Then I step off and let him up.

He scrambles backwards, then jumps to his feet. His whole crotch is soaked and he runs off at top speed.

“Okay!” I shout and clap my hands twice. “Bones, get in the fucking car! Sunny, grab everything and shove it in there! Don’t worry about being neat; we need to be out of here five minutes ago! We don’t want to be here when the goddamn cops show up,” I command.

Sunny and I dash back and forth a few times cramming our shit into the car. When we’re done, he crawls into the mess in the backseat and I slide into the driver’s seat. I throw the car in gear and we start toward the front office. We pass Nosey running down the road. I flip him off as we pass. I didn’t think it was possible for him to look more surprised and scared than when he saw a griffon, but he manages it when he sees a griffon driving.

We stop in front of the rental office and I look over at Bones, riding shotgun. “Well? You checked in.”

“Yeah, and the guy was half asleep and I was still human. I think he’s going to notice this,” she says, gesturing down at herself.

“I’m not going in there!” Sunny chirps from the back seat.

Bones grimaces. “Fuck it. The key’s in my pocket. Just throw it and let’s get out of here.”

I roll down the window, reach into her hoodie pocket, grab the key, and chuck it as hard as I can at the office door. Then we peal out to get as much distance between us and that fucking place as we can.

When we’re out on the open road, we all let out a sigh of relief. Bones turns to me. “Jesus Christ, Gilda. What the hell was that back there?”

“What?”

“You looked like you were going to eat that guy,” she accuses.

“I was just fucking with him,” I reassure her. Wasn’t I? It did feel pretty good. Natural.

“You were awfully into it,” she keeps on me. “You tasted his face!”

“That’s the part that sealed the fucking deal! Guy pissed himself!” I respond. Maybe if I convince her it was all just an act, I’ll convince myself too.

“Just…” she snorts, “just, in the future, try to refrain from eating people. As if they don’t already have enough reason to lock us up. Jesus Christ.”

We continue on quietly for a minute or two. Sunny breaks the silence. “Um… Didn’t that guy, like, take a picture of us?”

Goddamnit, fuck my life.

The car screeches to a stop as I slam on the brakes. I quickly hang a U-ey and Sunny grunts as he’s thrown against the window. Dumbass should be wearing his seatbelt. We speed off back the way we came.

“What are you doing?” Bones questions.

Does she even have to ask? “We gotta get that phone!” I say urgently.

“Gilda, stop the car.”

“What?”

“Stop the car, Gilda,” Bone repeats.

Is this bitch serious? This is, like, a Godzilla-level emergency.

“Are you fucking serious? You’re the one who says we have to stay secret. We gotta destroy that picture!” I shout at her.

“Gilda. Stop,” she repeats.

I hit the brakes again, slamming Sunny against the back of my seat. I turn to Bones and growl right in her face. This time she doesn’t back off. “Don’t you fucking tell me what to do, bitch,” I warn her, clacking my beak. “I’m in command here and I’m doing what needs to be done. Don’t fuck with a griffon, pony.”

She doesn’t even flinch. “Are you quite finished?” she asks patiently. I narrow my eyes. “What has gotten into you today?”

Me? ME!? What’s gotten into me? What’s gotten into her!?

“I’m acting the same as ever,” she says. Fuck, I was thinking out loud again. “You’re the one behaving irrationally,” she accuses and pokes me in the chest with her hoof. “Barking orders, preparing to kill and eat people, completely disregarding the safety of others, and now threatening me?” she tries to tick off each point on her hooves. She points to the backseat. “Look at him.”

I turn to see what she’s talking about. Sunny is holding his hoof to his forehead, where a nasty looking gash is oozing blood. I’m hypnotized by the sight; the blood. I get the urge to breathe deep and take it in. God, it’s sooo good. You like that don’tcha? What? That was a weird thought. Oh right, Sunny’s bleeding. How did this happen? What did he even cut himself on?

Fuck. This is my fault. Bones takes off her hoodie and hands it to him. “Here. Hold this over the cut and apply pressure,” she instructs him.

Bones turns back to me. “No one put you in charge of this excursion, so stop acting like you are. Come on, this isn’t the Gayle I know. The Gayle I know can be a douche and a bitch, but she’s not a villain. She’s reckless, but not stupid. And this?” she her hoof waves around, “This is stupid. We can’t go back there now. Even if that man didn’t tell anyone about this; even if the place isn’t swarming with cops and feds and... and... and animal control, it’s too light out now to be traipsing about around people.”

“Yeah, and I kinda have a head wound,” adds Sunny.

“And, Sunny has a head wound,” Bones repeats.

I rub my eyes and sigh. “You’re right.”

“Really, Gilda, you- ...what?” Bones starts, then stops, completely befuddled.

“You’re right,” I admit, “I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I think I’m letting this nightmare I had get to me. I feel like I need to make up for something I fucked up, but now I’m just fucking things up more.”

Bones starts to laugh. “You actually admitted I was right. I can’t believe it!” A car swerves to avoid rear ending us and blasts its horn.

Sunny clears his throat. “As touchin’ as this special little unicorn moment is, mebbe we need t’ get off the road.”

I see another car coming from the opposite way. He’s right. It’s good and light out now and traffic is becoming an issue.

“Yeah, okay. Where do you two think we should go?” I give in and ask, hoping to make up for how I’ve been acting.

“Who cares? Herr’s fine. Le’s jus’ go ov’r there,” says Sunny and he points his hoof across the road. There’s an open field, leading up to grove of trees. He sounds cranky. And woozy. I’m not a doctor, but it’s probably from the blood loss.

Bones gives him a concerned look and agrees. “Anywhere’s as good a spot as anywhere else. Just take us over that way until we’re out of sight of the road.”

I wait until the oncoming car passes us and is out of sight, then I pull off the road and carefully drive across the field. This friggin’ tub is a Passat, not a Jeep. We drive along the edge of the wooded area for a little bit until we can’t see the road any more. I take us into the trees a short way and finally stop the car. Where we are is lightly wooded enough to fit the car in, but it’s dense enough and we’re far enough in that someone passing by would have to be looking to find us. It seems as good a spot as any.

Bones and I pile out. Well, I do. She more falls out of the car and stumbles around. Sunny just sits where he is. I open the side door for him, then go pop the trunk to grab the tent out of the back. Bones looks him over. “How are you feeling?” she asks and examines his head. Her hoodie has a big, dark spot where it soaked up his blood.

“I see a light,” he moans, “I think this is it for me.”

“Oh no,” Bones gasps, “But, it doesn’t look that bad. Are you in a lot of pain? Is there anything I can do?” She leans in close to him. I’ve got the bright orange tent in hand to set it up, but he’s more important right now.

“I... I think so,” Sunny whispers, “A kiss from a beautiful mare might save me.”

...Really? OKAY, that’s enough. I was actually worried. I thought he was serious, but he was just fishing for booty. I don’t need to see what comes next. Fucking lovebirds. I groan in disgust, then throw down the tent. It rolls away and unfurls into a patch of orange as I march off.

I spend a while just hiking through the woods, cooling my head. Why am I so fucking off this morning? First that nightmare made me feel all sad and angry and weird, like I was a failure for some reason. Then, I get all weird at the sight of blood. I can’t stop thinking about how nice it smelled. So good, amiright?

And now there’s this whole thing between those two. Bones is smart; she wouldn’t fall for such a lame pickup, would she? Why do I feel... jealous? I mean, she’s pretty cute, I guess. For a cartoon pony. But it’s not like we’d... And besides, I already have a girlfriend.

Oh jeez. Now I’m thinking of Ellen. I didn’t even think of her at all yesterday. Does that make me a bad girlfriend? I wonder what she’s doing right now. I want to call her so bad right now, but I don’t even have my phone on me. Sigh, what good would that even do? She probably hates me now.

I feel like scum. I don’t even know what I feel. I’m… unsure of myself? I haven’t felt like this since I was fifteen. Not since... fuck. And to top it all off, there’s not even enough space here between trees to stretch my wings and get some flying time in.

I’ve been gone about an hour when I come across a little pond and stop to take a drink. But then I see it. There’s a rabbit a little ways away, also drinking from the pond. Those instincts I tapped into earlier are going nuts. Part of me just thinks, “Oh. A rabbit. That’s nice.” But another part is telling me, “BREAKFAST! Go ahead! Go nuts!”

Fuck it. I guess this is what I am now. I let the second half take control and my body starts moving almost on its own. I drop down low to the ground, slowly slinking through the tall grass and reeds surrounding the pond. I’m only five feet away from the little bunny now. My legs are tightly wound coils, waiting for release. Suddenly, the wind shifts and the rabbit stands on its hind legs, sniffing the air, and I realize I’m upwind. Now! I spring forward, letting loose a predatory screech, and pounce onto the unsuspecting bunny. I grasp it tight with my talons and snap its neck in my beak. I let myself go as I tear into my catch and fill my belly.

There you go. Eat up... little bird.

Meat’s gone. Bones stripped. Crack them open. Suck the marrow. Crunch crunch crunch. Swallow them too. Mmmm. Whine. Aw, what’sa matter, pretty kitty? Still hungry? Caw? So hungry. You want more, don’t you? Purr. You KNOW where it is. Second helping, ripe for the plucking. It even already marinated itself. Good eatin’, mm mm mmmm. Caaw... So go get it.

Run run run. Fast fast fast. Through the trees. To the prey. There it is. On the prowl. There’s one. Asleep in the machine. Asleep? The female. Save for later. Where’s the other? There’s orange thing. Wide, flat. Something under it. Moving, squirming. It tastes better when it squirms, doesn’t it? Sneak. Sneak. So close. One leap. Bon appetite! Quiet. Can’t wait. Growl.

“Sunny? Is that you?” Head pops out. The female? Sees me. “Oh. Gilda.”

Lazy Bones? Steve? No. I stop. I back up. No, go ahead, chickadee.

“Gilda? What happened?” Bones asks. She rushes to me. “Are you okay? You’re bleeding!”

It’s right in front of you. Do it. It’s prey. Look at it. The sinew, the soft meat, the dark blood coursing within.

No, that’s Bones. It’s breakfast. She’s my friend. She’s food. Please stop. Do it. I don’t- I don’t want to. DO IT, YOU PUSSY! I- I can’t. EAT THAT FUCKING CUNT, YOU WORTHLESS HALF-BREED WHORE!

NO.

Suddenly, I’m back to myself. Or at least I think I’m back. Oh god. Oh god jesus fuck, what was I about to do? Bones is right in front me. She’s looking me over and saying something, but I can’t hear her over the blood rushing in my ears. I turn to the side and vomit.

Bones sees the stream of blood and bile pouring from my beak and flips her shit. “Oh my god, Gilda! You’re hurt! Let me get- you’re-”

I wave her off. “‘s not mine,” I mumble. I wipe my beak. I see blood on my hand. I fall back on my haunches and bring my hands up to my face. They’re covered in blood. There’s a bit of fur stuck to one talon. I quickly pick it off.

“What do you mean, ‘It’s not yours’?” Bones asks, still panicking.

“I- I ate a rabbit and...” I trail off.

“You just found a dead rabbit and ate it?” she asks in disbelief.

I just look away.

“It was alive!?” Bones gasps.

I slowly nod.

“Wh- Why?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, “I don’t know what came over me. Something told me, ‘Trust your animal instincts. Eat it. Give in,’ and I just lost it.”

“Well that’s... um, disconcerting. It explains the chunks and bits of bone though,” she says, giving a nervous glance at the pile I threw up, then an even more nervous look back at me. “You had kind of a scary look in your eye. ...Your ‘something’ didn’t, uh, didn’t tell you eat anything else, did it?”

I can’t even look her in the eye. I lay down and cover my head with my hands. I’m so ashamed. I’ve never been so ashamed. I almost ate my... oh god, my best friend. Bones is my best friend? What a way to realize that little fact.

Bones backs away from me. “Gilda, what were you doing when you came back?” she asks in a controlled tone.

“I’m sorry!” I cry, “I don’t know why! I couldn’t help it! I wasn’t in control! I stopped it! I would never. I would never...” I sob. I break down and cry. This isn’t like me. This is just as unlike me as the way I was acting before. What’s happening to me?

I feel a hoof rubbing the top of my head. “Hey. You didn’t,” Bones says softly. I can hear it in her voice: she’s disappointed in me. She’s looking at me with that pity in her eyes that I know so well. I can already tell.

I look up and she’s there. Tears sting my eyes and blur my vision, but I can see her clear as day. There’s no pity on her face. She’s wearing a gentle smile, that reminds me of Ann. I bury my face in her fur and blubber like a baby. I cry for what I did and for what I almost did. I cry for what’s happening to us and what’s happened in the past. I cry for losing Ann so long ago and for leaving Ellen behind just recently. But mostly I cry just because I can and I never let myself do it before.

Eventually, I run out of tears and I’m just empty. I quietly sniffle while Bones rubs my back. “You feel better now?” she asks.

I... I actually do.

“Good,” Bones responds. Thinking out loud again. “Now let’s get you cleaned up,” she says and nudges me.

I look at my hands again. The blood has dried and turned a dark brownish-red. She’s right. I need to wash this off. But I don’t want to go back to that pond. I can’t.

“Oh! I know,” Bones announces, “You just stay right there.” She dashes over to the car. Huh, she’s gotten the hang of her hooves I guess. She digs through the back seat for something. Sunny is still back there, snoring away. I can’t believe he didn’t wake up. Thank god he was in there. If it was Bones who was sleeping and Sunny under the tent like I thought, I have no doubt that I would have...

I almost break down again. While Bones’ back is turned, I quickly dig a small hole with my talons and bury the mess I made, just so I won’t have to keep looking at it. I’m sure a philosopher would make some clever comment about digging up my feelings or burying them, or something like that.

Bones trots back over to me with something in her teeth. It’s the camping cooler we brought along. She sets it down in front of me. “Here you go. The ice all melted, so you can clean yourself up with the water.”

I pry off the lid and fish out the water bottles in there. I look inside and gasp when I see my reflection. I look like a wild animal. My eyes are red and I have blood smeared all over my face, matted into the feathers around my beak and down my neck. I plunge my hands into the water, forming a cup and bringing it to my face, trying to scrub out the blood. I don’t think the shame will wash away as easily.

After a few minutes, I’m pretty clean and Bones tosses me a towel. “Didn’t I tell you to keep track of that?” she pretends to scold me.

I dry myself, then turn to her and hesitantly ask, “So... are we cool?”

She smiles. “Yeah, Gil, we’re cool. Just warn me if you feel anything like that again.”

I stand up and work the kinks out of my neck. I look down at Bones. “Um, can we not tell him about this?” I ask and jerk my thumb over at Sunny, still snoozing away.

She glances over at him. “Tell him about what? As far as I’m concerned, no one ever has to know about this little incident if you don’t want them to.”

“How did he sleep through all of that?” I ask. Then I remember. “Oh man, that’s right, he was hurt pretty bad. Is he okay?”

“Yeah, he’s fine. He was just playing up the injury. He was all knackered though, so he’s taking a nap,” she informs me.

“So what were you doing under the tent?” I question. I’m feeling better and things are starting to feel like normal again.

“Well, someone had to set up,” she says almost accusingly. “Sunny was asleep and you were... out. Although, I’m afraid it wasn’t going spectacularly.” She waves toward the poles scattered all around the field of canvas.

“So, you want some help with that?” I offer with a grin.

Bones nods. “Sure. This is a touch difficult without the benefit of fingers.”

“Okay, I’ll... lend you a hand,” I smirk. Somewhere, a detective is putting on his shades as The Who start to play. I elbow her in the ribs and chuckle at my own joke. She just scowls and shakes her head slowly.

As we start assembling the tent, I notice Bones is doing everything with her mouth. But in the few episodes I saw of the show, there were unicorns floating stuff around with their horns. I wonder why she doesn’t do that. I just come out and ask her, “So on the show, unicorns move stuff around with, like, magic or whatever. Why don’t you just use that?”

“No,” Bones hisses, “Not this again. There is no such thing as magic.”

I respond, “Yeah? What about last night? Here, pass me that rod.”

She picks the rod up in her mouth. “‘at ‘as ‘i’ren’.” I take it from her. “Excuse me. That was different. Your wings aren’t large enough to provide the necessary lift to keep you aloft, so you shouldn’t be able to fly. And don’t get me started on hovering.” She holds a pole in place with her hooves while I pull the canvas over it. “But when you boil it down, you’re still flapping wings to fly. Maybe you have some sort of enhanced wing musculature or something that lets you flap harder? Maybe? I still don’t think that your wings, and especially not Sunny’s, have enough surface area to keep you up. But I’m not an expert on aerodynamics, so I don’t know.” She shrugs. “Assuming the two of you don’t have some advanced biological enhancements or nanotechnology or something, and you’re flying completely naturally, really, it’s only a minor break in the physics of the universe.”

On a scale of one to one hundred, I’m at about an eight in understanding what she just said. I’ve heard all of the words before, but I think she’s just putting them in random order and talking out her ass now. Just humor her. “And that’s... a good thing?” We thread the last pole into place.

“No. ‘ut i’s ‘e’er ‘an’ oonicor’ ‘a’ic,” Bones says around a mouthful of tent as we pull it into place. Finally, it’s up.

“You’re going to have to repeat that,” I tell her.

“I said no, it’s not a good thing. But a small hiccup in Newtonian physics is better than the full-on break that is unicorn magic,” she repeats. There’s no way she said all that before. We go grab a couple pillows from the car and then lay down in the tent.

Keep pretending you know what she’s talking about, Gilda. I ask her, “Why?”

“Like I said, you’re still flapping to fly, and just getting a minor boost to stay up. Nothing extravagant. But you want me to start using unicorn telekinesis? To create a field of exotic energy- Create, mind you! Complete disregard for Conservation of Energy! Anyway, an exotic energy field capable of physically manipulating objects remotely or even altering the fabric of reality? That’s a whole other kettle of fish. No sir, I don’t like it,” Bones finishes her rant.

She lays looking at me, waiting for my response. Okay, fuck it, I can’t pretend anymore. “Bones, I gotta be honest with you. You lost me at ‘hovering’.”

She looks annoyed and drops her face into her hooves. She pulls them away and just looks at them for a second. “Okay, how about this,” she offers, “Two guys are running a marathon.” Now she’s speaking my language. “The first guy finishes in two hours.”

“Impossible,” I argue.

“Eh, that’s only a couple minutes better than the world record,” Bones counters. “But that’s the point. It shouldn’t be possible, but it’s not too unbelievable. With a little help, maybe he could do it. But the second guy turns into a cheetah and crosses the finish line twenty minutes before he starts running.”

“Huh? That doesn’t even make sense,” I say and cock my head.

“Exactly. One’s unlikely, but doable. The other completely doesn’t make sense.”

“Okay... sure... Well then, why did you freak out like that last night?” I ask.

Bones rolls onto her back. “It may have been a minor break in physics. But it was still a break. Excuse my pun, but it flies in the face of everything I know to be true about the nature of reality.”

“Well now, you’re just be goddamn drama queen,” I accuse.

“Gilda, I’m not like you. I’m not a doer. I’m a thinker,” she explains. “You go out and experience life. I observe and catalogue it.”

“That sounds really fucking boring.”

Bones lets out a heavy sigh. “The world is boring. Nothing amazing happens. Everything is ordinary. No matter that we do, no one can truly change the world. So why do anything? Nothing we do matters. If nothing matters, then what’s the point?” she ponders to the ceiling. This is going downhill fast. I don’t like dealing with this much emo, but I should be supportive. That’s what friends do for each other, I guess. She did it for me just a few minutes ago.

“Why do you talk like that?” I ask seriously. “Like the other night. You said you wouldn’t move out of the way of a meteor. What’s so awful that you don’t care about dying?”

“Nothing.”

“Nothing?”

“Nothing’s ‘awful’,” she confirms, “But everything is all just so inconsequential. Think about it. If we died right now, how many people would care? A handful? A couple dozen?” Jesus fucking Christ. I had no idea she was this dark. How long has she been sitting on this? “But what about the people twenty miles away? The next state over? The next country? Do they notice anything we do? Are they even aware we exist? No.”

Bones sighs. “I think of ‘Ozymandias’ by Shelly or ‘Musee des Beaux Arts’.”

“You’re gonna have to explain that me,” I confess.

She looks at me and I can see in her eyes she’s going into lecture mode. “They’re poems. “Musee” is about how importance is a matter of perspective and how life goes on. What might be the most important event of someone’s life might not matter in the slightest to the person right next to them. They just go about their business as if nothing happened.”

“Ozymandias tells of the ruins of an enormous statue, lost alone in the desert. It’s of an ancient king, the most powerful man in the world during his time. But no matter how great he was, now he’s nothing. Forgotten. The only record of his existence is a nearly destroyed statue in the middle of nowhere that almost no one knows exists. It’s just so futile,” she finishes.

“Okay....”

“It’s just...” she pauses, trying to think of the right words, “think of how little we matter in the scope of the world. Then compare the world to the entire universe. And that’s just right now, while we’re actually here. What about in a hundred years time? A thousand? A billion? If a tree falls in the forest and rots away before anyone notices, can it be said to have even existed at all?”

Who knew this care-free little dweeb had such deep baggage? I’m shit at touchy-feely crap, but I need to try. If this morning has taught me anything, it’s that I can’t only think about myself anymore. I always thought I was a lone wolf, but look what that got me. I guess it’s true: birds of a feather... Ugh, I can’t even finish. I hate myself for even thinking that fucking pun. I put my hand on her foreleg in what I hope is a comforting gesture. “Steve... you’re kinda scaring me.”

Bones smiles and shakes her head. “Don’t worry about me. I’ve come to terms with it.”

“You have?” I ask, “Doesn’t sound like it. Sounds like it’s eating you up.”

“No, I deal with it my own way,” she reassures me. “That’s why I observe things. Everything. No matter how small. In fact, especially the small things. Sure, the big summer blockbuster and the famous works of the literary masters. But also the kid who drops his ice cream and the bugs eating the dead squirrel; I watch it all. Like I’ve said, ‘If no one noticed it, did it really happen?’ This way, as long as I’m around at least, there’s someone who can say, ‘Yes, I saw it. It existed.’ It’s my own little attempt to make everything matter,” Bones finishes with a confident smile.

“I’m not sure I really get it but if that’s how you deal with your, um, problems, then I say you go for it,” I tell her. “But I gotta ask. Where the hell did this all come from all of a sudden?”

“You asked.”

“I’m pretty sure I didn’t,” I say in confusion.

“You asked me why I freaked out,” Bones reminds me. “I freaked out because of magic. If you can fly, maybe magic exists. If that’s true, maybe there are other worlds that house omnipotent gods of chaos. I make it my business to know everything about life, the universe, and everything. And the foundation of it all is the basic physical laws of the universe. Which you completely ignored. I freaked out because in five minutes you invalidated my worldview and disproved everything I knew to be true,” she finishes, grimly.

She looks at me with a sparkle of wonder in her eyes. “You did it. Something amazing. Something truly world-changing.” She looks back up at the ceiling. “And you weren’t even trying,” she adds, almost as an afterthought.

I’m not sure how to respond to that. “Well... I’m sorry, I guess,” I offer.

Bones waves me off. “Ehhh. Don’t worry about it. At least you looked fucking good doing it.”

“Thanks.”

We lay in silence for a minute, just listening to the sounds of nature and the chainsaw that is Sunny snoring. I look over at her. She has her eyes closed and I think she’s fallen asleep. But then she breaks the illusion.

“Hey Gilda,” she says quietly.

“Yeah?”

“Did you really attend a boarding school around here?” she innocently asks.

Ouch. Jesus, she knows how to hit me in a raw nerve.

I think she senses by discomfort because she quickly adds, “I’m sorry if that’s over the line. You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”

I almost don’t, but then I think back to earlier. Compared to the way I broke down before, this should be nothing. And… I don’t know; maybe it’s time I finally open up about this. Maybe I can rely on others to help with this sort of thing instead of just going it alone. Plus, I can’t help but feel like I owe her one. I’m not really in any place to turn her down.

“Yeah,” I finally confirm. “Why d’you wanna know?”

Bones giggles and opens her eyes to look at me. “I was just picturing you in a sailor fuku,” she says.

“A what?

“One of those Japanese school uniforms,” she answers and giggles again.

“Ha motherfucking ha,” I deadpan. For a second there, I thought she was actually interested. “You brought it up just to laugh at me?”

“No no no, sorry,” she apologizes, “I’m serious. I'm curious about you being in a fancy prep school. I can’t imagine it. It’s so not you.”

“It wasn’t. I hated it.”

“Hey, I’m a product of Manchester public schools. A high-end private institution sounds great to me,” Bones says with a hint of jealousy, then yawns.

“Yeah, but that’s your world, not mine,” I grumble, “Filled with stuffy know-it-all geniuses and kids of rich white people. I was all alone there.”

“Then why did you go?” she asks.

“Well, it’s not like I had any say in it,” I spit. “My parents sent me away to punish me.”

“What did you do?” Bones asks.

“I don’t want to talk about her!” I shout too fast, then quickly correct myself, “I mean ‘that’. I just pissed them off, so they shipped me off to where they wouldn’t have to deal with me.”

“They… wanted to get rid of you? I can’t imagine.” Bones gasps, horrified. “My parents begged me not to move to the States for uni. They don’t let me go a week without video chatting with them.” She’s wearing that same fucking look again that I hate so much. It’s the same pitiful look you’d give to a cat you find dying by the side of the road and you know there’s nothing you can do for it.

“Stop that,” I say coldly. I roll over onto my other side, putting my back to her.

“What?” wonders, then yawns again.

“The way you’re looking me. Like I’m some poor, pathetic lost cause,” I tell her.

“I’m not-”

“It’s the same way they looked at me. They think they’re so big and important. Mr. big Chief of Medicine, Dr. Henry Griffin, and his genius financial wiz of a wife, Emily,” I announce sarcastically. “Both of them have intellectual jobs, so that’s all they care about. They didn’t care what I wanted. Growing up, they always told me to stop wasting my time running around, playing sports, pushing my body. They forced me to read and study all the time.”

“But that’s not me,” I sigh, “I’m not an egghead like them. But somehow I always ended up in all the top classes, even though I never did my work. I found out later that my dad was bribing the school,” I snort at that. “And every time I’d fail a test or bring home a report card that wasn’t straight As, they’d have that face. That look of complete disappointment and pity. Like they couldn’t believe that their child could be such a loser, so worthless,” I recall to Bones, “I always felt so stupid. But I’m not; I just don’t care about wasting my time on studying when I could be out doing things.” I sigh. “My entire childhood, being treated like a retard. So I started acting out, and that just made it worse. Then I wasn’t just an idiot. I was an idiot and a criminal. And then there was that one final nail in the coffin and they’d had enough.”

I have to concentrate to keep from shaking at the memory and keep my voice steady. “So they sent me to that school. You’d love it, but to me it was hell. Everyone else there was a rich, snooty white kid. I was the outsider and they knew it. My dad’s the whitest guy in the world, but that didn’t matter. From sophomore year to the second I graduated, I was the stupid girl with the dark skin. I never heard the end of it. The dicks’d talk down to me and use fifty-cent insults like I couldn’t understand them. I tried responding with my fists, and I just made it worse again. Then I was the stupid, violent caveman with the dark skin,” I say spitefully.

“Eventually, I learned to just ignore them and put it all in a bottle,” I continue, “I joined the boxing club and that let me vent it all without getting in trouble. I’d get to open the bottle and let loose on whatever big lug was in front of me. After I’d beaten some of the toughest guys in the school into the ground, everyone was different,” I say and shake my head. “They were scared of me. I was still the stupid half-breed girl, but now I was dangerous. I wasn’t a caveman; I was a beast. It hurt, but at least they didn’t fuck with me as much, so maybe it was a plus,” I sigh and look down at myself. “And now look at me. Literally a dangerous beast made up of two halves of different things. The universe is cruel bitch with a bad sense of humor,” I mutter.

Then I continue back on topic, “I guess I get the kids at school looking down on me. They were assholes and I was different. But my parents? They’re my parents. Why would they do that to me?” I ask, not expecting an answer. “I guess I still haven’t forgiven them. I mean, they’re my parents, and I love them. I just... don’t really like them anymore,” I say with a little bit of wonder. “Huh. I didn’t realize that until just now. I guess I was keeping even more in the bottle than even I knew about. Maybe this ‘talking things out’ stuff is more helpful than I thought. Thanks a lot, Bones.” I roll over to look at her. “You’re a really goo-” I stop myself.

She’s asleep. Her eyes are closed and she’s got the most peaceful expression. I want to get mad at her for falling asleep in the middle of the story she asked me to tell. But I can’t be angry with her for sleeping any more than she can be angry with me for last night. A bird’s gotta fly, a Lazy Bones’ gotta sleep. It’s just in our nature. I’m starting to find the balance in following that nature.

I’ll let her sleep for now.