Hey again guys! Good to see you and welcome back to my perilous adventures across the states. Sorry I didn’t open up this chapter with a witty joke or some other witty line to kick it all off. Anyway, if you don’t mind, I’m going to piece the fourth wall back together while you all read. Enjoy!
My jaw hung loosely as I stared up at the massive manor; the limo had pulled into a roundabout and parked in front of the colossal structure. I almost couldn’t believe my eyes. A stepping stone style walkway led up to the front door, expertly trimmed hedges ran alongside the path, and two eloquent marble fountains on the left and right sides of the lawn poured out water that seemed to sparkle in the sunlight.
It’s too unnatural and I hate it already.
The nanny, whom I’d taken the liberty of nicknaming Gertrude, opened the driver’s side door and began walking around the car. “Out!” She barked, much like a military commander at me, throwing the rear door open.
Unluckily, I just so happened to have my face pressed against the window at the time. There was a moment of silence and a pause before I fell. It was almost comical. Almost.
The good news is that I landed on a soft patch of grass. The bad news is that I landed on my face. Typical.
“MARCH!” The nanny barked again, pointing to the front door of the mansion. I don’t know why, but I half expected her to start kicking me to the door... I’m glad she didn’t.
“Yes ma’am.” I replied quickly and scrambled to get back onto my hooves.
I trotted down the stone pathway, taking note of how many armed guards were posted around the perimeter and on the rooftops. I counted a grand total of twenty-seven by the time I reached the door.
There was a solid ten seconds of silence as I glanced between the door and Gertrude. She was tapping her foot and looking annoyed.
“Well?” The nanny said, her foot tapping even faster.
“Well, what?” I quipped, a bit more snarky than I should’ve.
“Well, what are you waiting for?!” Gerdy pointed to the door. “Open the damn door! I don’t have all day.”
I rolled my eyes and did as I was told. It was already being humilated and I haven’t even seen what’s for dinner...
Just as I had my forehooves around the doorknob, and about to turn it, I was interrupted by the nanny. I’m not really surprised at this point.
“Not like that!” She said with the utmost disgust in her voice. She pointed at my forehead with a smile. “Use your ‘magic’.”
I growled under my breath, just low enough so I wasn’t heard, but I did as she commanded.
The knob was engulfed in a periwinkle glow, just as I knew it would. One click later, I pushed open the door with a hoof and sighed. “There, happy?” I turned around and glared up at the nanny.
Shockingly, she was clapping. A light golf clap, to be exact. “Good. Mister Drendel is getting his money’s worth.” She said blatantly and took a few steps in to the manor. She walked with a militaristic manner with her hands hands behind her back and took long strides. “You will be meeting the child shortly, pony.” She walked down a few corridors and I made a mental note on which window I could possibly jump out of for an escape plan.
“As mentioned before, you will behave as though you are here on your own accord. Understand?”
Her back was to me as she walked along and I nodded. Not really the smartest thing I’ve done recently.
“Do you understand?” She repeated with much more anger in her voice.
“Yes ma’am!” My voice, or should I say Rarity’s voice, cracked as I yelped the reply.
“Good.” She turned on her heels and grinned a grin that reminded me of The Grinch while he’s stealing all the roast beast. We had stopped in front of a door. It was pink, oddly enough. She pushed the door open; it was apparently a dressing room. “Make yourself look presentable. Clothes will be provided for you to wear, and-” She stopped talking suddenly in one sharp movement, I feel a cold piece of metal being pressed against my temple.
The nanny was crouched down, right in front of me. “You so much as look at the child wrong, I will personally see to it that you have a shallow, unmarked grave.”
In that moment, I felt like saying something smart, like, “Go ahead and try; I’ll just dig my way out and hunt you down like the animal you really are.” Or, “Better make that grave big enough for two, because I’ll take you with me.”
Those thoughts were washed away as I came to the realization that a Beretta M9A1 was being pressed against my head.
I blinked, feeling a bead of sweat roll down my face. Just the thought of a 9mm bullet traveling at 985 feet per second through the skull of a small equine made my skin crawl. My life was balanced on a dime right then and there.
I nodded again. “It w-won’t happen, ma-ma’am,” I stuttered.
The pistol was holstered and she pat me on the head. “Good girl. Now you have fifteen minutes to make yourself look pretty.”
Ten minutes passed without a second notice and I started into a mirror. My reflection stared back at me. Although my mane had been restored it it’s original glory, I couldn’t get myself to smile. How the hell could I? I sighed and looked down at the frilly pink dress I was wearing; it was the only thing in the wardrobe for me to wear.
“This is really happening...” I muttered and facehoofed. Which hurt. Again.
I’m afraid so dear, Rarity muttered in the back of my mind. She finally said something. Although, to be frank, I saw this coming from a mile away.
I glance out a nearby window, looking up at the somewhat cloudy skies.
“I envy the bastard who’s in Rainbow Dash’s body.” I sigh again and tap a hoof against the vanity table. “With wing power like that, I could fly out of here without a second thought...”
And what about me? Rarity mentally added, sounding genuinely disappointed You wouldn’t leave me to be accompanied by some other ruffian in my mind, right?.
The corners of my mouth started to peel up a bit. Given the circumstances, Rarity’s sense of humor certainly has shown some improvement.
“Point taken, Rarity.” I giggle marvel at the element of generosity in the mirror. “I couldn’t leave you here.”
I jumped down from the stool and hit the carpet with a soft ‘pomf’. “Although, if I did, I’m sure some dashing hero would hear your cry of distress and come save you.”
Are you implying something, buster?
“Why, of course not!” I answered with Rarity’s very posh voice. I know I’m pushing it, but I can almost see her face turning red, like she’s going to smack me. “It’s not like you are a helpless maiden in distress. You can very well take care of yourself, I mean you-”
Oh shut up! I may not be the strongest, bravest, or even the fastest pony, but at least I-
“You’re beautiful, have a big heart, and a good sense of humor to put up with my stupid self.”
Rarity didn’t respond. I think she got mad at me for cutting her off... Whether that was the case or not, I don’t think I’m ever going to understand girls.
Suddenly, there was a loud knocking at the vibrantly colored door, alerting me that I was time to go meet my new master.
I sigh and take one last look around. My backpack hung off the back of a chair with my hoodie laying neatly folded on it. Nothing was taken from me. Maybe the world doesn’t want to kill me. Yet.
“The child is waiting, pony,” came the nanny’s shrill voice through the door.
“I’m ready.”
The door opened and the nanny, with her plastic surgeried self stood there with a hand on her hip. She motioned for me to follow her with a manicured finger.
I left the room and followed Gertrude down the hall. I looked up at her and put on the best “good little pony” voice I could. “Pardon me, ma’am?”
“What now?”
“If I may ask... What is the name of the child whom I belong to?”
“Anastazia Coraline Drendel.” She answered quickly, like it burned to speak the name. She turned on her heels again. She doesn that alot. “You will address her as Miss Drendel, Master, or Madam Anastazia.” She smiled again. That really creepy sharp-toothed smile. “Along with this, you are to be informed that she may named you as she sees fit. Understood?”
Alright, this is where I draw the line.
“My name, I’ll have you know, is Anthonie Daniel King! And I will be addressed as such.”
I think I growled, but that was probably just the boiling anger in my veins.
“Excuse me?” Said the nanny incredulously, her hand resting on her holster. I saw it... And I didn’t give two shits.
“You heard me! My name is Tony D K and I refuse to be given some bullshit pet name by a little girl!”
Within a moment’s notice, she drew her pistol just as I thought she would. I could see down the shimmering barrel.
“Care to try again?”
“Go suck a lemon.”
Her thumb glided over the safety catch and clicked. I think I’m going to die.
Suddenly, something in my head clicked and I was wearing a cocky grin that I didn’t deserve. “Mister Drendel must have spent a great deal of money to obtain me.”
I was bluffing.
“Informants, trackers, security footage...” I met the nanny’s glare; she was practically burning a hole in my forehead with her eye lasers “I’m sure he’d be upset if his big investment suddenly went to waste.”
Her face turned to one of unease. I think I’m winning, because I think I just talked down a crazy hag from painting the walls with my brain. I like my brain.
Although the pistol was still pointed in my general direction, I wasn’t really worried.
That feeling lasted about five seconds before the woman’s hands tightened around the grip and she smiled. “We’ll find another.” With one eye closed, she looked down at me with a maniacal grin. “Another unicorn with a better attitude.”
Oh shit.
The Beretta shook in her dainty hands.
“Better not miss.”
I closed my eyes, wearing a grin of triumph... This is where my story ends. I took my last breath and enjoyed it...
“Nana?” Came a teenager’s voice...
I crack open an eye, and see the nanny sweating bullets with her hands behind her back.
“Anastazia! What a... Pleasant surprise!”
The next thing I knew, I was plucked off the floor and behind hugged, quite gently matter o’ fact.
“Thank you SO much, Nana!” Squealed my abductor. Hey, this beats getting a bullet in the head any day.
‘Nana’ laughed nervously. “You’re very welcome, Anastazia...” She rubbed the back of her head nervously. “I’ll... Just, umm...” Her voice assumed one of authority. Or a motherly voice. Whichever. “Now, a pony is a big responsibility. You know you will have to feed her and... Umm..”
“I know, Nana! I’m not a little girl anymore.”
Huh. I thought I was going to be the pet of a bratty seven year old whom I would have tea parties with and play dress up.
“Yes, well... I suppose I’ll leave you two meet your new... Pet.” She shot me a glare and began walking down the hall.
Man, I am one lucky bastard.
In the few short moments of being picked up, hugged and petted, I was carried by none other than Anastazia, a teenaged girl who I’m guessing is approximately fifteen. She had short cut hair that was dyed purple and had light green eyes. Despite her obvious rich upbringing, she wore a baggy Green Day tee and hole-y jeans.
She set me down and sat on her knees; an ever present stuck to her face.
“Hi!” She squealed, waving a hand. “My name’s Anastazia C. Drendel, but you can call me Annie!”
I was speechless.
“And you’re Rarity, the element of generosity, right?”
Still speechless.
“I’m your biggest fan! I just love you soooo much!” She was suddenly holding a teddy bear, that I didn’t see her pick up. “I’m sorry if Nana came off as a bit overbearing. She’s just like that. Truth is, she just worries that I will one day succumb to the evils of the outside world and be a bad person.” She ranted, not even stopping to take a breath.
I opened my mouth to say something, but I swear that this girl is like an ADHD squirrel that had one too many cups of coffee.
“Oh!” She held out her bear. “This is Tibbers! He’s my best friend!”
“Well...” I said with a slight smile. “It truly is a pleasure to meet you, Annie.” I held out a hoof, which she shook happily. “As you may well know, my name is...”
Just do it, ya wuss. I told myself.
“Rarity Belle.”
As the words left my lips, I could feel myself regret start to regret it already.
“We’re gonna have so much fun together!”