I managed to avoid the ferret on my way to the cat dish. After filling up my gut, I heard the familiar clatter of wheelchair on wooden deck. I perked an ear as my wife, sobbing beyond belief, closed the door behind her. I had to listen in, so I left the dish behind and ran around to a window on the south side of the house.
No sooner had I done so than I spotted a sign on our side of the road. It had a distinct red, white and blue balloon on a sky backdrop, and a large name in blue print.
Well fuck me up a river, I thought.
What's the problem? Opal asked.
I grimaced. That sign on the grass over there... They're selling right now!
So... That is relevant how?
If they sell, we're homeless. Like, we have to find a different place to live. That means no cat food, no shelter, no humans or ponies to pet us... it's all gone."
So we hide the sign.
It's not that simple. Let me try to put it in a nutshell. Yes, we use signs to communicate, but we use something else. There's a vast array of special string connecting many of those plastic phones I was using earlier. Each string connects with others and eventually reaches a bunch of boxes. In those boxes is information. We use these strings to access the information stored in those boxes. Likely, what they've done is put the knowledge that this place is for sale on the Internet, erm, that network of string, for anyone to access. Thousands of people already know that this farm's up for grabs.
I do not know what the hay you are talking about.
Basically, Twilight's dragon Spike, except billions of Spikes exchanging letters at blinding speed.
...you lost me.
Dig around in my mind a bit for the answers to those questions. I'm going to go and listen to the conversation.
I am too refined to dig anywhere. I shall take your word for it. What does all that confusing speech mean, anyway?
It means our timeline to cure this condition just got a hell of a lot shorter.
...Oh.
Yeah. They have a potential customer base of potentially two billion people through that network. They're bound to find someone who wants this place in a month or less.
So how do we go about this? Keeping this place, then?
I was about to think, but the thought stream simply stops there. For the life of me, I can't think of any way that could posibly save the place.
I don't know, Opal. We were talking about leaving in the next two years. I guess this... I gestured frantically between us ... was the straw that broke the camel's back.
We sigh from the same body.
I guess there are some things even trying to help with just won't cut it.
A look of determination crosses my face. Fire within my gut flares up. I'm determined to make this work.
"Opal, I don't know what we can do, but dammit, we'll get this farm as shipshape as we can," I declare. "Let's go talk to the horses. I'm sure we can rally them together to do the heavier stuff." I begin trekking our shared body toward the corrals. The rain has stopped.
"Zytharros, I am with you."
"You don't have much choice - we're in the same body."
"I know. I just thought you would like to know that I will not be providing resistance."
"Even if we get dirty?"
"If I must."
I smiled as we passed my house. Now that Opal's on side, I feel things will be alright.
"I'm not collecting dust with my fur, though."
There goes my plan of becoming a real life feather duster.