Twilight stared into the cup of tea that Rarity had made her. The silver spoon in it spun slowly and precisely under her magical control. Jasper’s laughter echoed from the next room over, where Sweetie Belle was looking after him. Rarity had settled herself on a red, plush couch, and Twilight sat across from her in a matching armchair. Both ponies were intently focused on the white mug sitting in their forehooves. Moonstone was sprawled across the floor, her attention being held by the stuffed animals that lay strewn across a large, intricate rug. Somewhere in another room, a clock was counting the painful seconds as they passed.
Tick… tick… tick…
The tea was very sweet, almost to the point of excess. Fluttershy loved sweet tea, and since it was Fluttershy who really enjoyed having others over for tea, all six of them had become accustomed to it. Twilight wondered whether Rarity had done it on purpose, or gotten her and Fluttershy mixed up…
Tick… tick… tick…
To be fair, it had been Rarity who had initiated the silence. Twilight simply wasn’t brave enough to break it; she had so many questions that she was terrified to ask. Rarity’s relationship with her other friends. Moonstone’s father. Spike.
Most of all, she feared talking about Spike. She’d thought for certain Celestia would have taken him in, but if Luna didn’t know where he was…
“Mummy!” Moonstone held up a plush cat and smiled widely, her bright green eyes shining with childish glee. Twilight was grateful for the noise, and watched the toddler as she tried to gain her mother’s attention. “Look!”
Rarity looked down with a small frown.
Moonstone waved the toy a bit more enthusiastically at the lack of response. “Mummy! Mummy!”
“Shh, darling…” Rarity smiled a little and scooped Moonstone off of the ground and sat her on the couch. “We have a guest.”
Moonstone squirmed out of her mother’s grasp and leapt off of the couch. Her tiny wings fluttered instinctively, but they didn’t affect her altitude. She landed on the ground and giggled in delight.
Twilight smiled down at the filly. “How old is she, Rarity?”
“Her second birthday was just last week.” Rarity laughed quietly as Moonstone trotted back up to the couch and tried to scramble her way back to the top by placing her forehooves as high as they would go and alternating legs to kick with. “Jasper’s was about four weeks ago. He’s seven years old.” Rarity relented and helped Moonstone back onto the couch. The foal did a 180 and jumped, squealing in delight as she touched down on the ground again.
Twilight nodded slowly. Foals were naturally born during the months of April through to June as mares typically went into season once summer started to hit, but modern magic could be used to provide fertility at any time of the year. Any mare trying to have a foal no longer had to wait in order to come into season – statistically speaking, most foals born during the traditional months were either unplanned or born to couples without access to unicorn magic. Within Canterlot, where magic was universal and highly obtainable, it was considered fashionable to have a baby smack in the middle of winter. Even Shining Armour had a noble birthdate early on in January – there was an unavoidable stigma that came with having a baby during the proper season.
Twilight would know, since she was born mid-May and was teased mercilessly in school. Shutting herself away to prove she belonged in the world as much as anypony else was an understandable response.
“It’s April the twenty-seventh, right?” Twilight asked, only partially for confirmation. She had an idea of how to start getting answers without directly asking questions.
Rarity paused and put a hoof to her mouth. “Er… I believe so… ” She levitated a pair of purple-rimmed glasses to her eyes, stood, and started peering around the room. “Calendar, calendar…”
“Never mind, Rarity.” Twilight knew for a fact that she left on the twenty-fifth, and assuming that the spell had transferred her precisely ten years into the future and two days had passed, Twilight was certain that they were sitting on the twenty-seventh. “I was just wondering because Jasper would have been born a little early, right?”
Rarity fiddled with her glasses, but did not remove them. “Oh… right, he… he, well, actually – ”
“Mummyyyy!” Moonstone cooed, her tiny wings buzzing as she tried to jump back onto the couch. “Mummmmyyyy!”
“Oh, Moonstone…” Rarity sighed and picked the toddler up. Moonstone fought to leave Rarity’s grasp and tried to jump again, but Rarity held fast. “I think you’ve had enough flying practice for one day, haven’t you? Mummy isn’t ready for you to start flying, that’s for certain…” Rarity chuckled and turned to Twilight as Moonstone became distracted by the plush cat she had previously abandoned and settled down with it. “I can’t believe she’s two already. How the time flies!”
Twilight managed a small smile. “You’re telling me…”
Rarity laughed. “Oh, you’re absolutely right Twilight, I’m sorry. Is your tea all right?”
“It’s fine, Rarity, thank you.” Twilight focused her attention back onto twirling her spoon. Perhaps the subject she was trying to guide Rarity onto was touchier than she’d first thought. She knew that she was going to have to be more direct, but Sweetie Belle’s warnings about being delicate were replaying in her head. She bit her lip, and decided to pursue. “It’s a bit surprising, you know? Seeing you with foals.”
Rarity laughed softly. “Oh Twilight, nopony was more surprised than I was.”
Twilight was so taken aback by the ease of the answer that she took a few seconds to come up with a reply. “Um… really?”
“Oh, yes…” Rarity smiled and started fiddling with the bow that held Moonstone’s mane. The foal didn’t even seem to notice. “Jasper was born at the end of March, so… yes, a… a little early, as you put it. They estimated him to be due in mid-April, as that would have been a more logical assumption, but despite that he was of normal birth weight…” She paused in doing Moonstone’s mane, and put a hoof to her mouth thoughtfully. “I suppose I came into season early and didn’t realize. It would have been during our honeymoon – very sunny, that would explain it, yes?”
“I guess so, yeah…”
Rarity smiled a little, her eyes staring away from Twilight and down at her daughter. “I had no symptoms with Jasper. An odd craving for strawberries – and I’m sure you remember how I hate the things, Twilight – but otherwise I simply couldn’t understand why I was putting on so much weight. I didn’t find out until I was about halfway through the pregnancy.”
“Wow…” Twilight said. “I guess when you’re that far along… well, your options are…”
“Exactly.” Rarity sighed and finished playing with Moonstone’s mane. The filly turned her head at the sudden lack of attention with an innocently confused frown. “I was so young Twilight, and I had my whole career ahead of me. Fancy really wanted the baby – he was older than I, and he had no foals from his previous marriage. I felt trapped, but at the same time… it just felt like the right thing to do, do you understand?”
“Of course – Rarity, I’m not going to judge you for anything I was absent for. You know that, don’t you?” Twilight smiled. “I’m just curious, that’s all.”
Rarity smiled sadly back. “I know that, Twilight. I can’t even imagine what you’re going through right now. I want to help in any way I can.”
Twilight grinned – that was exactly what she wanted to hear. She shifted her vision away from Rarity, and toward the small table that Jasper had shown her earlier. She concentrated her telekinesis on one of the photos, and levitated it over to Rarity, who despite looking a little surprised, accepted it into her own magical grasp. The photo Twilight had chosen pictured Rarity, mane rather disgruntled and eyes half-lidded, smiling down at newborn Blue Jasper from her hospital bed. Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash watched gleefully from either side.
Rarity adjusted her glasses and squinted at the image. “This…” She looked up at Twilight, seeming a bit confused. “Well, I suppose that collection of photographs would have caught your attention.”
“Jasper showed them to me, actually.”
“Ah…” Rarity laughed a little and looked back at the photograph. “That doesn’t surprise me. The only things he can associate you with are these pictures and warnings about using magic…” She gave an over-zealous sigh. “I suppose I’m going to have to redo that particular lecture, now aren’t I?”
Twilight laughed. “Sorry, Rarity. In all fairness, you’d just have to omit the part that I died. I still messed up the spell and… and a lot of other things, too.”
Rarity shook her head. “Don’t say things like that. Now, this picture…” She paused for a few moments, as if debating whether or not to continue. She looked over at Twilight, then back at the photograph. “This was literally about an hour after I’d given birth. I look like a mess, don’t I?”
“Really?” Twilight asked, genuinely surprised, because that would mean… “So, wait, were Rainbow Dash and Fluttershy there when you… uh, had him?”
Rarity hesitated, but then looked over at Twilight again and smiled at her bemused expression. “It was Rainbow’s fault I went into labour in the first place.”
“What?” Twilight grinned despite herself. “How did she manage that?”
Rarity waved a hoof dismissively. “Oh, an argument over trivial things that ended with my water breaking. I really should have known something like that would have happened when I invited her. Er, it’s Rainbow, you know. Very brash.”
“Oh, yeah.” Twilight laughed. “I bet she didn’t handle that very well.”
Rarity laughed along. “She fainted in the delivery room.”
“Oh my gosh, you’re kidding!”
“I’m serious!” The two ponies laughed together, and little Moonstone smiled curiously at the two adults. “Oh, Twilight, it really is quite a good story, albeit a bit long. I’ll make sure to tell you it in full later.”
“Okay!” Twilight grinned, but then refocused herself. “Do you and Rainbow still keep in touch?”
Rarity’s expression fell and her ears flattened. Twilight opened her mouth to backtrack, but Rarity cut her off. “I knew you were going to ask that… I…” She shook her head. “No. No, you deserve to know everything that’s happened, Twilight.”
Twilight wished she was in a position to politely disagree to spare Rarity any pain. The necessity for more information over-road her feelings. “I hate to ask this, Rarity, but can you start from the beginning?”
“Of course… do you know much already?”
Twilight shook her head. “I know you left Ponyville at some point.” She paused for a moment; it was now or never. “And I know that you took Spike with you.”
Rarity closed her eyes and nodded. “Did Fluttershy tell you that?”
“No. I saw the picture on the mantle: I know it belonged to him.”
Rarity stared over at the tiny table. “That’s true. He brought that to Canterlot with him.”
“Rarity?” The white unicorn finally turned her head to meet Twilight’s gaze. Tears were already starting to fill her eyes. Twilight winced, but continued. “I need to thank you for taking Spike with you when I disappeared. I know he would have been really shaken, a-and I…” Twilight fought back tears and tried to continue. “I feel so, so guilty that I could have abandoned him… I was like his… his big sister slash boss slash closest friend slash… you know, I was like a surrogate mother to him. I was his only family.” Twilight hung her head. “And I abandoned him. You have no idea how guilty I feel, Rarity, he – ”
“Mummy!” Moonstone squeaked, displaying a tiny, almost accusing frown as she stared with wide eyes at her mother. “Why’re you cwying?”
Rarity hastily wiped at her eyes and hugged her filly to her chest. “Why am I crying, darling? Oh, Mummy’s not crying… um… why don’t you go play with Auntie Sweetie Belle, hmm? Sweetie Belle!” she turned her head and hastily called. “Could you take Moonstone into the other room, please?”
Jasper groaned. “I don’t want to play with her!”
Rarity’s brow furrowed. “Blue Jasper, you mind yourself, lest you want to lose dessert tonight!”
“…Y-yes Mum! Nevermind, Mum!”
Hoofsteps sounded briefly, then Sweetie Belle poked her head around the door frame. Her ears flattened as she took note of the expressions worn by Rarity and Twilight. “Um… yeah, sure sis.” She shook her head lightly as if to clear it, then beamed down at the tiny pegasus pony. “C’mon, Moo, let’s go play with your brother!” Moonstone was quick to jump off of the couch and follow Sweetie, giggling ecstatically as she did so.
Rarity sighed. “Don’t call her that. It makes her sound like a cow.”
Sweetie Belle smiled and picked up Moonstone. “Aw, I think it’s cute!”
“Better than “Louie”.” Jasper added from the next room over.
Sweetie Belle smiled. “Well, I already have one Jazzy in my life, and Celestia knows I can’t call you by your initials.”
Rarity flushed red. “S-Sweetie Belle!!”
Sweetie Belle turned tail, child in tow. “Just sayin’!”
“…I don’t get it,” said Jasper.
Rarity huffed and turned back to Twilight. “I’m so sorry about that, Twilight. Moonstone’s becoming very perceptive; I really need to watch myself…”
Twilight nodded. “That’s okay… it’s a good thing you have Sweetie Belle around to keep an eye on them.”
“Oh, you should know Twilight, I do pay her to babysit!” Rarity quickly explained. “She’s had trouble finding work, and when Fancy is out of town she’s an absolute life saver.”
Twilight looked down and nodded again. “Can we get back to where we left off, please?”
Rarity nodded. “Yes, yes of course… er, where were we?”
“Spike,” Twilight said, “what happened to Spike?”
Rarity stared at the floor. “He grew up, Twilight. Just like before… except no matter what I did, I couldn’t stop it.” She bit her lip, then exhaled and faced Twilight with a frown and apologetic eyes. “It was my fault, Twilight. I was aware of his feelings toward me, but you have to understand that I… I would never be able to return those feelings.”
“He was upset over your marriage…” Twilight murmured, looking to Rarity for confirmation.
“Spike was gone before the marriage took place…” Rarity covered her face with both hooves and groaned softly. “Please forgive me… H-he was inconsolable. He felt as though he didn’t belong here, and if I couldn’t be the one to change that, I don’t think anypony could.” She lowered her left foreleg and looked over to Twilight. “Please, please forgive me… I-I…”
“Princess Celestia,” Twilight interjected, causing Rarity to lower her other foreleg and raise a brow. “Princess Celestia would never let Spike leave like that! It’s not right!”
Rarity shook her head. “I consulted her; she thought it was for the best. Even if he was able to reopen his heart and become something of an assistant to me or another pony, she felt it would be cruel to subject him to even more anguish when that pony, too, passed away.” Rarity looked quizzically to Twilight. “Interesting, though, that she only thought of that after you passed a – er, time travelled. Perhaps it was unwise to give you his egg in the first place, though trust me I feel awful saying that because he was such a sweet little thing…”
Twilight gaped at Rarity for a few moments. Of course; dragons had exceptionally long lifespans. Twilight was to become an alicorn – as far as Twilight knew, an immortal being.
Just how long had Celestia been planning her destiny?!
“Do you know where he is?” Twilight asked.
Rarity hesitated, then slowly nodded. “He’s with others of his own kind… according to Celestia, dragons live somewhere south of Equestria.”
“You’ve never gone to see him?”
Rarity averted her gaze, and paused for several moments. Twilight stayed quiet, fearful of prompting her. Finally, with her eyes still set away from Twilight, Rarity continued. “I wish I didn’t have to be the one to tell you this; I am so sorry. He… he isn’t Spike anymore, Twilight. He’s a monster.”
The breath caught in Twilight’s chest, and she was only able to whisper her involuntary reaction. “N-no…”
Dragons, when allowed to age at their proper speed, retained much of their ponylike intelligence, and their long lives made the eldest some of the wisest creatures known to ponies. Rapid growth was a defense mechanism related to stress and desperation. A last resort to save the body, at the cost of the mind…
“No! No, please, please not Spike!” Twilight cried. She trembled, feeling dizzy. Her mind was failing to comprehend what she was being told. “There… there must be a way to reverse it!” She had started shouting, and Rarity’s ears flattened to her head. “Like last time! There has to be!”
Fresh tears ran down Rarity’s face, and she couldn’t seem to bring herself to move. “Twilight, these circumstances were much different than his first bout of childish greed. He was in a lot of pain.”
Twilight suddenly stood, but another wave of dizziness found her sinking to the floor. “Spike… I-I…”
Rarity sat next to her, silent tears running down her face as she gently stroked her hoof along Twilight’s back. “Twilight, I’m so, so sorry.”
Twilight couldn’t speak. Her stomach hurt. She was certain she was going to vomit.
The Spike she knew was dead. His childish innocence torn from him and his mind tortured until his body needed to warp itself to compensate…
“I didn’t… I never thought…” She did this. Twilight did this herself. She killed her best friend, her assistant, her son. Twilight gritted her teeth as tears fell from her eyes to the floor below, and she let out an anguished cry:
“Spike, I’m so sorry!”
Rarity pulled Twilight close and held her as she curled into a ball and sobbed. Twilight felt like an idiot for believing she could fix everything. Spike was as good as dead, after all.
She would never see him. Never speak to him. Never tell him goodbye one last time or apologize for her rushed exit before she left for Canterlot. All she’d left him were hastily written instructions to keep her library clean. What a horrible last goodbye…
She was a failure.