Good, bad, and why me?

by Normalguy


Great escape and chase

Great escape and chase

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Dungeons or something)

I wake up and see some sunlight come through but its kinda pointless being in an cell. I look for an way out cause now I can see the cell. The cell  i'm in appears rust and unused, fairly clean but definitely not the cleanest, I notice the cell doo to have a lock on it like an normal cell. The bars are rusted but show no sign of breaking whatsoever. I talk to Iris to see if she can do anything to help.

 Hey Iris.”

“ Zzzzz Huh- what i'm sleeping.” She replies with an groggy voice.

 Can you help me get out of here?”

Hmm, not really if I was an earth elemental I could but i'm not, sorry. Now you think of something like you always do and i'm gonna sleep.”

“ Iris...”

Zzzz..”

 Screw you.”
I look at the lock to see if I  could pick it, but I don't have a paperclip. Taking inventory I have my soon to be ruined clothes, pocket stuff, and my bag. Thats it, my bag has things inside. I look in my bag to find anything useful but all I have is school crap, binoculars, machete, book thing and that dagger thing I found. Hey the dagger! I grab the dagger out and it looks beautiful I stupidly wonder if the dagger could do anything and I yell .

“ Dagger of the day, dagger of the night lend me your might and transform to my will!”

I Hold the dagger to the ceiling but nothing happens. “ useless dagger can't even be magical in a magical world.” I throw the dagger to the side  and turn back to my bag and take out the machete. I notice a bright light and turn to see it. The dagger that was once there has turned into an sword of epic proportions. The pommel is golden with ornate carvings of wings and adorned with gems that shine bright as an rainbow. The blade seems as if its pure silver shining in the light yet it has a tint of white. the handle is gold wrapped in engravings of vines that cross over multiple times.  I stare at it for a moment thinking of what would make it transform now? I notice in the midst of this that it seems to glow in the light, thats it light!. It can transform in the light. To test th I take the sword to the sunlight and think of the dagger, a bright flash appears and now I have the dagger in hand

I grab the sword and make a few swings . For what a sword is made of , this one is particularly light. I look at the sword and to the bars and swing at the bars. The full swing cleaves through without a sound. The one swing leaves a clean cut on the top but the bottom has to go to. I swing once again towards the bottom and  when i'm finished multiple clinking sounds indicate that its an clean cut and success of, where to escape.

I go through the makeshift hole but I forgot my bag. I go back for my bag and grab it. Taking the chance of transforming the sword to something compact the first thing comes to mind is a gauntlet. I put the sword in the light and think of the gauntlet. A flash comes and go’s just as fast it appears and in my hand is an golden gauntlet for my fight hand, the gauntlet looks as if for royalty and imbued with an purple gem on the hand. I fit it on my hand and it fits perfectly. Knowing that gold is soft on impact I smash my fist into the wall but the gauntlet doesn't even dent and my hand doesn't feel anything as if the impact didn't happen.

I'm pleased with the result and get my bag and leave only for the door to the outside of the dungeons is locked. The material looks ok, sturdy but weak. You know how things can't be solved by brute force? I call bullshit on that. Everything can be solved by an punch, locked door? Punch it! Anyways I rear up a straight right punch and bingo! I'm out!

There was a little dust around but I walked right through it. As i'm walking through I step on something, the dust clears and I look to see what I stepped on. What surprised me was the fact that I stepped on the pony and knocked him out cold. I try to wake him up but he just mumbles things like: “ Yes momma I love to have cookies.”

I was gonna leave him there, but  all of a sudden I see spears all around me. I look around and all the guards I assume are a white coat but each have different eye color.
One in particular comes up in front of me and speaks up.

“Creature, what are you, and why are you coming out of the dungeons?” I look at him and hes different from the rest of them, with an two tone blue mane of one dark and one lighter. His armor is purplish with a star that seems oh so familiar, but I can't put my finger on it his coat is an bright white. I was either gonna give him an answer but I need to find Sunshine and get out!

“ Well i’ll tell you if you.” I point at him “ Take me to your princess.”

“ Why do you want to speak to her?”

“ So I can find a better place to sleep. Whats your name?”

“ I am captain Shining Armor of Princess Celestia.”

“ Which way is the princess?”

“ Why should we-” He kept talking till someone interrupted him.

“ The princess is down this hallway and to the right until your see the doors.”

“Thanks, now y'all ready for this.” I say with a somewhat sinister smile. Some look confuse and the one called ‘Shining Armor’ was about to charge me but before he could I slam my palms into the ground, the area around me erupts in an whirlwind and I make my escape. All the guards are knocked away but are getting up quickly,but I make a ball of air, jump on it, and ‘board’ away with guards chasing after.

I dodge the occasional vase but an crash makes up for it. I look behind me to see a stampede of guards rushing at me. I go down and few hallways and turn right. I look down the hallway and see two large doors ahead of me. With the occasional gaud coming close I blast him away with air and power through. The doors are coming closer but I can't stop now. Can't open a door? Punch through!

I get off my ball by jumping off and rolling forward instead of landing, as i'm rolling I use the momentum of get back on my feet and jump towards the door and  rear my fist back and punch through the door.

The doors burst open and I tumble in on my face. I Look up to see Celestia giving me a hard stare, but i just say my greetings.

“ Good morning Sunshine.” I say on the floor “ Can I go home?” I ask in an exasperated voice, “ Or maybe eat, i'm starving.” I can feel everyone staring but I don't give a damn.

“ Well Jon could you explain what happened first?”

“ Umm well as you can see I came through the door with using my fist to open it.”

“ Please tell me, Why did you use your ‘fist’ to open the door.”

“ To admit it seemed like a good idea at the time.”

“ How did you think its a good idea?”

“ Well your guards were chasing me, so in my head that equals good idea. I can tell you my side over breakfast.”

“ *sigh* Very well let us go to the dining hall.”

“ WOO HOO, breakfast.”I say as I fist pump. “ Wheres the dining hall?”

“*sigh* Just follow me.”

We both walk through the door, not without passing every guard with their jaw hitting the floor at seeing what just happend. One of the guards snap out of what happens and trots up to us, Shining Armor I think , Who cares but apparently he does. Hes speaking to the princess bout me or politics or something but I don't hear a word. I just daydream thinkin about life and weapons and whatnot.
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We get to the dining room and its quite regal with all the marble and decorations/banners, the table is quite long being longer than ten meters. The first thing I notice is there are no chairs.

“Hey Sunshine.”

“ What is it?” She replies.

“ Could I have a  chair, or something to sit on when we eat?”

“ Yes we do have an chair.” She turns her head to talk to one of the maids  to go get an chair. The maid comes back with a chair, and I take it to the table. We all sit down around the table and get menus from an chef. While looking at the menu I couldn't read it, it looks like scribbles. I ask some questions really quick before the person who takes are orders comes back.

“Hey Sunshine.”

“Yes?” she says as she looks over to me.

“ Do you have meat here?” I think Shining over there looked shocked at that.Meh.
The princess nodded and gave the ok signal for me to eat some but I didn't feel like it. Others joined at the table for breakfast, such as, Luna, Discord, and another alicorn thats pink. I said my salutations to everybody then the pink one came up.

“Who are you?” I ask while pointing at her.

“ I'm princess Cadence, now who are you.”

“ I’ll tell you after we order breakfast, K?”

She raises an eyebrow and nods. We all order breakfast, with me getting a omelet with cheese. While waiting Cadence ask about me. It seems like everybody wanted to know so I asked which part, the time I awoke and fought the Diamond Dogs or the this morning  how I got out of the dungeons. Most wanted to hear of how I fought the diamond dogs. I tell the story with great detail emphasizing the cool parts by waving my arms in the air. some seem to laugh and they remind me of  my friends back home at how I would tell stories and they would laugh, but I digress. I get to the ending of the fight,  and now they wonder why i'm here. I was gonna tell them how but breakfast came in.

We all eat and finish as quick, as i'm eating Celestia notices the gauntlet on my right hand and asks about it.

“ Jon, Where did you get the gauntlet?”

“ I’ll tell when I talk about the story of how I got out of the dungeons. So whats the plan today?”


“Well we were gonna initiate the research to send you home,  And we need to get you back to Twilight's too.” I hear someone spit something out and couch a couple times. I turn my head to see Shining over there choking on an drink or something. I was gonna talk to her but got interrupted by Shining over there.

“ You want to put this creature in the same area as my sister?” He asks in disbelief. The only thing I could see is something happening in the future and I don't like it.

“ Why yes Captain he need to go over there to find a place to live, he can't live here the whole time.” Shining glares at me and I don't get why though. We finish breakfast and I wanted to go back to ponyville I suppose.  Everyone starts to leave  and Celestia was about to leave but I grabbed her attention to ask her something.

“ Hey Celestia?” I ask in a  different tone than usual. She seemed surprised at this but answers.

“Yes Jon?”

“Can you help me  with something?”

“ I will try to, What is it that you need help with?”

“ Can you help me send a  letter home?”

“ I'm sorry but that will take time to figure out a  spell for that.” I get a sad face from that. “But It will take a shorter time than to send you home I assure you.”

“Ok, am I gonna go back to ponyville now?”

“ Soon, but yes.”

“Ok.” I feel kinda sad that I can't talk  to my people back home and tell them i'm fine. The princess see my sadness and gives me a  hug, I return the gesture by hugging back. She seems happy at this and I feel relieved. We both release and chat for ways to get me to ponyville. We both decided to use teleportation again. While preparing I just sit there waiting for the princess of the day. When she come in I stare at her and she stares at me. I walk over to her and raise my arm up and scratch her behind the ear. What really surprised me is that she started sighing relieved and started kicking like a  dog would. I stop and she glares at me I raise my arms to defend my self, but her way of revenge was mean. When she teleported me without warning I fell on my side at the destination, on top of some books. pain...oh the pain.

I look up to see an very surprised Twilight and friends staring at me with anger and relief. I speak up to snap them out of staring.

“ Hey Twilight can you heal me? I'm hurt and I needs heals please.” Everyone there
face hoofs(?) except Fluttershy, who seems more worried about me than anything right now.