Chapter the Sixth, or “In Which We Go A-Questing”
I drop the sword in panic, unable to believe my eyes. Was that sword just talking like Rainbow Dash?! I think frantically.
“Sebastian? Is that you?” Rainbow Dash’s voice called from the sword. “I can’t see anything but dirt! Pick me up again!”
I quickly pick the sword up from the ground and dust it off. As soon as I do, a blue-tinted hologram of the girl pops out. “Thanks,” she sighs in relief. “Anyways, do you know what’s going on here?”
I try to speak, but for some reason, no coherent words come out. What the hell’s up with my voice?! I think to myself as I frantically try to string a sentence together.
“You alright, Sebastian?” Rainbow asks worriedly. “You didn’t get some head trauma when you got here, did you?”
“Oh, he doesn’t have much to say right now,” a smug voice says from behind us. I turn to see Discord in a skin-tight green outfit with some red underwear on the outside. “See, I decided that maybe it’d be better if he didn’t talk for a while, just to see what happens!”
“That’s no fair!” Rainbow Dash cries indignantly. “How else is he supposed to communicate?”
The chaos god rolls his eyes. “Fine. He’ll be able to say five words throughout this stage, but only five!” he sighs in exasperation as he snaps his fingers, releasing a white flash. “As soon as you say your five words, it’s back to crude sign language, Coco!”
I open my mouth to retort, but thinking better of it; I shut my mouth and smirk smugly. Not THIS TIME, bitch! I think triumphantly to myself.
Discord, seeing my attempt at speaking, grins. “Anyways, I should complement you again for another fun-filled world for me to make! I especially like the costume I get to wear,” he smirks, wiggling his rump. “It’s like I’m wearing nothing at all!”
“Ugh, that’s an image I never wanted to see,” Rainbow Dash groans. “Can we just get on with this?”
Discord sticks his tongue out. “Fine. You two will meet up with the others in a little bit. As for what you have to do to get out of here… Well, I have a feeling it’ll find you before you find it... Anyways, I better go! TINGLE, TINGLE! KOOLOO-LIMPAH!” And with that, a mass of balloons pops behind him and carries him off.
“Well, that was weird,” Rainbow sighs, shaking her head.
I nod in agreement before pointing at the woods ahead of us.
“Yeah, we should probably look for them,” Rainbow Dash nods. “Come on, let’s go!” and with that, she pops back into my sword hilt.
I slide Rainbow Dash into her sheath and begin my walk into the forest, trying to stay alert. Well, this “no talking thing” is going to be a bitch… I think to myself as I duck under a tree. I have no idea how this one’s going to work out…
Suddenly, I hear a loud rustling behind us. “What was that?” Rainbow Dash asks, obviously alarmed.
I shrug and continue on my way. However, the rustling got closer and closer to us, almost as if it was following me. I pull out the Rainbow-blade and get into a fighting stance. Hours of playing Ocarina of Time, don’t fail me now…
The bushes in front of us begin to quiver violently, as if something were trying to struggle through them. Finally, as the tension builds, the bushes give way to reveal… A small pink skinned elf with a ton of puffy pink curls on her head. “Hey stranger, have you seen my friends?” it asks in a familiar voice.
“Pinky!” Rainbow Dash cries, bursting out of the sword again. “It’s us! Rainbow Dash and Sebastian!”
The pink elf gives a little gasp before racing up to us and jumping up and down excitedly. “Ohmygoshisn’tthissuperdupercool?!?!” she asks in the typical Pinkie Pie style. “ImeanI’msoadorableandcuteandohlookDashiesaswordbutohmygoshthisisgonnabesomuchfun!!!” With one last gasp, she plops down on her back, panting heavily.
Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes. “Yup, that’s Pinkie Pie alright!”
Pinkie-elf hops back on her feet as quickly as she fell down. “Oh my gosh, I almost completely forgot, Twilight and Rarity are with me too!” She turns to the woods behind here. “Come on out, guys! It’s just Sebastian and Rainbow Dash!”
There’s a sigh of relief from behind the bushes, and both Rarity and Twilight come out. Rarity is wearing an elegant white dress and cloak, while Twilight was wearing a robe of deep purple with pink stars decorating it. “Thank the Sisters, we were afraid we’d never find you guys!” Twilight sighed in relief.
I nod and open my mouth to speak before remembering the deal with Discord and clamping my mouth shut. “Is there something wrong, dear?” Rarity asks in a concerned tone.
“Oh yeah, Discord put a spell on him that prevents him from talking,” Rainbow explains. “He can only say five words, and he’s trying to conserve them.”
I nod and try to make a few complicated gestures to tell them to find Applejack and Fluttershy. Twilights just raises her eyebrow. “You want to search for a hiding thing on a tree?”
“No, I think what he’s trying to tell us is that we need to go find a rare fruit,” Rarity says thoughtfully.
Pinkie raises her hand and jumps up and down excitedly. “OOH! OOH! I KNOW! He wants us to start looking for Fluttershy and Applejack! Or he wants to play peek-a-boo with a tree! Either or!”
I nod excitedly and point at the girls, then to my mouth. “So you want us to call them?” Twilight guesses correctly.
I nod happily before turning to the woods. “Alright, we better get moving!” Rainbow Dash says before going back into the sword. “Alright, let’s move!”
We march forward as the girls call for our two missing members of the group. Eventually, after walking a mile or so, we reach a large flowing river. “Well, now what do we do?” asks Rarity.
“Well, I think it would be best to walk along the edge of the river for a little while,” says Twilight as she scans the river bed. “Odds are that we’ll find a town or something-“
A menacing croak comes from behind us, causing us all to jump up in alarm. I turn to find a massive red toad behind us, staring at us with its soulless yellow eyes. “M-m-maybe it’s friendly?” Rarity says hopefully.
The toad licks its lips, sending slobber all over us. “That’s not a good sign,” Pinkie says nervously.
I pull Rainbow Dash out of her sheath, and get into an attack position. “Alright you big fat frog, come at us!” Rainbow Dash yells mockingly.
The massive amphibian responds by shooting its giant sticky tongue at us. I manage to duck and roll away so that the tongue gets wrapped around a nearby tree. As the toad struggles to get free, I hack and slash at its warty body, hoping to break through its tough skin before it broke free. Unfortunately, it manages to un-stick its tongue and turn to me, pure hate in its eyes. With another deafening croak, it wraps its tongue around my body, covering me in slime. “AHHH!” I yell as I hack madly away at it to no avail.
Frantic, Twilight and Rarity both use their telekinesis to throw rocks at the beast, while Pinkie Pie jabs its eyes with a small dagger. Unfortunately, this neither harms nor distracts the toad while it tries to swallow Rainbow Dash and I. “C’mon, you stupid frog-thing, stop eating my friends!” Pinkie growls as she desperately stabs at it.
Just when all hope was lost, a sudden thought goes into my head. Reluctantly, I let go of the outside of the toad’s mouth and let it suck me in.
“What the hell are you doing?!” Rainbow Dash’s voice asks incredulously as I pass through the monster’s slimy throat. “You’re just going to let Frogger here slurp you up like a jelly worm?!”
I wait until I get to his stomach before pulling Rainbow Dash out of her sheath. Realizing what I was doing, my companion’s tone changed drastically. “Ohhhh, you clever bastard-“
“YIPPE-KI-YAY, MOTHERFUCKER!!!” I bellow as I drive the sword through the slimy walls of the toad. Feeling the sword go through, I drive it up until there was a hole big enough to allow me to pass through the enormous amphibian. I slip Rainbow Dash back into her scabbard, take a deep breath, and plunge right through the exit.
I gasp as the sudden sunlight nearly blinds me. Looking back, I can barely see the toad roll to the ground in defeat before vanishing in a puff of smoke. I turn to see a flash of purple dash directly at me before pinning me to the ground. “ARE YOU INSANE?!?!” Twilight screeched, punching every inch of me she could reach. “YOU COULD HAVE BEEN DIGESTED!! WE THOUGHT YOU WERE A GONNER BACK THERE!!!”
“Love you too,” I grin wryly as I try to push her off of me.
“And that’s five words!” I familiar voice cackles triumphantly. We all turn to see Discord seated on an impossibly high tree branch with his legs crossed casually. “I have to say, I really thought you’d use them wisely! So much for that, huh?”
Realizing what he was saying, I get up and try to yell at the old coot. Unfortunately, all that comes out is “YAAAAARGH!!!”
He leans back and laughs long and hard at my predicament. “Oh, I suppose you’re right, this ISN’T any fun,” he sighs, wiping a tear of laughter out of his eye. “I’ll tell you what: You’ll be able to talk as long as someone else is talking to you, but that’s it, alright? I’m already being VERY lenient with the rules of this game, so don’t make me bend them again!”
I feel a sudden release in my throat, almost as if a lock had been broken. Coughing slightly, I give him a wry smile. “Thanks,” I say hoarsely, rubbing my throat.
“Remember, use it wisely!” he says in the way a grandfather would warn his grandson. “You’ll never know when you’ll lose something important!” and with one last chortle, he disappears in a flash of white.
“What do you suppose he means by that?” Rarity asks as she walks next us. “’You’ll never know when you’ll lose something important’… Sounds rather ominous, if you ask me.”
“He’s probably messing with our heads again,” Twilight answers, brushing herself off before turning to me. “Now back to you, Sebastian: What the hell were you thinking back there?!”
“Hey, it worked, didn’t it?” Rainbow Dash says in my defense as her image leaps from the sword. “Thanks to him, we won’t have to take any more smack from that toad!”
The young woman sighs and straightens out her purple robes. “I suppose you’re right… Well, what do we do now?”
I try to offer a suggestion, but something catches my throat so only a few gagging noises come out. Luckily, I manage to catch Rarity’s eye. “Yes, darling?” she asks, concerned.
I let out a sigh of relief. “Ok, first off, thanks for that, Rarity,” I say gratefully.
She giggles. “My pleasure.”
“Anyways,” I continue, “I think what we should be doing is looking for Applejack and Fluttershy. I mean, they can probably hold out in this world, but I have a feeling that we’re going to need them if we’re going to get any further in this quest!”
“So it’s settled,” Twilight says with finality. “We look for Fluttershy and Applejack, and hopefully we can find out what to do to get out of here and move on… And speaking of finding people, where’s Pinkie Pie?”
“Diiiid someone say ‘Pinkie Pie’?” the pink-haired imp asks as she pops out of the bushes, riding an unusual steed: A thick-skinned toad about the size of a small dog, failing about in a desperate attempt to shake Pinkie off.
“What the hell are you riding, Pinkie?!” Rarity asks incredulously.
“Ya like him?” she asks, bobbing up and down as she tries to keep up with her warty mount. “I found him on the edge of the pond where we beat the big nasty toad! I think I’ll call him… Gummy III!”
“Why is he the third?” Twilight asks, confused. “You’ve only had ONE Gummy so far!”
“Well, I had just caught Gummy II, but it turns out that the alligators here are mean!” Pinkie pouted. “So this little guy’s Gummy III.”
Twilight shrugs. “If you can control him, you can keep him. Now come on, let’s look for the others.”
Everyone begins to go forward, but before I can join them, Twilight holds me back. “Hey, about that thing you said earlier…” she begins awkwardly.
“What thing?” I ask, miffed.
“You know, where I was on top of you, and you said that you loved me?” She goes on, blushing. “Were you just playing around?”
I begin to feel an uncomfortable heat rise up to my face. “Umm… I dunno… It was just the first thing I thought to say…”
We both stand around awkwardly before she speaks again. “We should go join the others…”
“Yeah,” I smile sheepishly, and we both move quickly to catch up with the rest of the group.
I hear Rainbow Dash’s voice snicker from her sheath. “Well, that was awkward…”
-----------------
After following the river for a couple of hours, we reach a small village on the hills. As the sun was just beginning to set, the town square was beginning to settle down for the night. “You think the girls might be there?” Twilight asks me.
“I dunno…” I say thoughtfully. “I guess it would make sense for them to be in a densely populated area…”
A harsh cry interrupts my thoughts. “BEWARE, VILLAGERS!!” A thin young man yelled as he marched down the streets. “THE BEAST IS HUNTING TONIGHT!!”
A series of whispers start going through the crowd and the people started to hurry to their houses. Rainbow Dash sighs in exasperation. “Well, that can’t be good…”
Rarity goes up to the young man and taps him on the shoulder. “Um, excuse me sir, would you kindly inform us what’s going on?”
The man looks at her incredulously. “Haven’t you heard of the Beast of Miseria?!”
The purple haired lady smiles sheepishly. “We’re rather new here,” she admits.
“Nevertheless, my dear lady, you MUST have heard of its heinous acts! Is it not known across the land that this savage wolf hunts when the moon is full and blood red?!”
“Umm, yes, we must have missed that message,” she chuckles nervously. “See, our town crier’s had a sore throat for the past few days, so we haven’t heard the news…”
“Well, lock yourself in tonight, and make sure to bolt your door, because this foul Beast preys on gentle ladies such as yourself!” The crier says warningly. “He comes to the village to tempt them into following him to his lair, and just as they drop their guard, HE STRIKES!”
“Well, thank you for telling us this.” Rarity smiles, “We’ll be sure to move out of town before he comes.”
“There will be no time!” The young man cries indignantly. “You must go to the village innkeeper to rest until the Beast passes! It is the only way to live through the night!”
Rarity turns to us in exasperation. “Well, it seems we’ll have to stay the night,” she sighs.
“Well, we might run in to Applejack and Fluttershy at the inn!” Pinkie suggests cheerfully before pulling out a large brown bag from her non-existent pockets. “It’s a good thing I kept this!”
“What exactly IS that?” Twilight asks curiously.
“Some weird crystal things that the big meanie toad dropped!” she replied happily, shaking the bag upside down to release several small green, red, and blue rupees. “I’m sure the innkeeper will let us rent a room for these!”
Rarity lifts up a small green rupee and examines it critically. “I can’t say I dislike the color, but the cut is rather boring, and luster is lacking in shine…”
“Who cares?!” Rainbow Dash says gleefully as her hologram picks up a large red rupee. “This HAS to be enough for a room, and I’m bushed!”
Twilight raises an eyebrow. “You haven’t walked at all today,” she points out.
Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes. “Details. Let’s just get a room so I can hit the hay!”
Sighing, Twilight uses her telekinesis to lift the rupees off the ground and into the sac. “Would you happen to know where the village inn is?” she asks kindly to the town crier.
He nods and points to a large building near the center of the town. “Just go over there and give the innkeeper’s wife a holler. She’ll give you a fair price for the room and a hot meal.”
We all thank him and got to the inn, where we see a large, grumpy woman at the front desk. “Excuse me, madam, would you happen to have a room for us tonight?” Rarity asks sweetly.
The woman takes one look at us and points to the door. “We don’t allow imps here,” she grunts in a gruff foreign accent. “They cause too much mischief, and quite frankly this little shack’s taken too many troubles over the years.”
“What?! That is outrageous!” Pinkie says indignantly. “What makes you think that I’d cause any trouble?! That is a racial stereotype of imps everywhere, and I REFUSE to take it anymore!”
The fat lady glances down to Pinkie Pie. “Yer little steed there just ruined the table cloth.”
We all look down to see that Gummy III had indeed wet the previously white cloth. Pinkie Pie smiles sheepishly at the woman. “Ehehe… I just got him…”
Rarity sighed in exasperation. “How much extra would we have to give you to let our little friend here stay?” she asks the innkeeper’s wife.
The fat lady raises her eyebrow. “How much you got?” she asks, leaning over the table.
The purple-haired seamstress pulls out three blue rupees. “Would this cover it?”
“Only fifteen?!” the woman snorts in derision. “Child, I wouldn’t lend ya a pot for that much! It’ll take ye at LEAST eight hundred to get in here without the imp!”
Rarity sighs and turns to me. “Could you please help me with this?” she asks sheepishly. “I’m rather unfamiliar with this currency.”
I nod and count out all the red, blue, and green rupees we had, revealing that we had at least two thousand rupees. “Make her haggle to nine hundred,” I whisper to Rarity.
Rarity nods and smile confidently to the innkeeper’s wife. “We’ll pay eight-fifty, and not a penny more!” she says haughtily.
“Eight-fifty?!” You’ve got to be bleedin’ mad!” the large woman roars indignantly. “Nine-fifty, and not a rupee less!”
“Eight-seventy-five!” Rarity retorts.
“Nine-twenty-five!”
“Nine-hundred!”
“Deal!” the innkeeper’s wife grins, and shakes Rarity’s hand firmly.
Other than a small wince of pain, Rarity comes back with a gleeful grin of triumph on her face, “I can’t believe I managed that!” she sighs in relief as we walk forward through the inn.
Other than being slightly dusty, our resting place was not a bad one. As we settled down into our separate rooms, I throw the Rainbow Sword onto the bed and sigh. Rainbow Dash then pops out, legs crossed in a relaxed position as her hologram sits next to me. “You ok?” she asks, concerned.
“Yeah… It’s been weird, you know?” I reply, staring at the celling. “I mean, it’s not every day that a guy gets to live out his dreams, right?”
She gives me a look. “Really? THIS is your dream?”
“Well, not THIS specifically,” I admit, “but just the whole IDEA of it, you know? I mean, I’m only just starting, and I’m already having a kick-ass time!”
“Well, don’t get too attached,” Rainbow Dash says warningly. “I mean what if this is Discord’s plan all along?”
I give her a look. “Since when were you EVER the voice of reason?”
She shrugs. “Hey, you try staying stuffed in a box with Twi for months without having her egghead-iness rub off on you!”
I smirk. “Egghead-iness? Really?”
“Well, excuuuuuse me, Princess!” Rainbow grins back. “I don’t see YOU describing it!”
I chuckle. “Yeah, I suppose you’re right… Though I’ve got to say, at times it can be charming!”
This causes her to fall on the bed laughing. “’Charming’?! What are you, Rarity?!” she chortled.
“Hey, normal people can say ‘charming’!” I say defensively. “It’s like saying ‘it’s not necessarily cute, but it kind of makes you chuckle’!”
“Oh, so you think Twilight’s cute, huh?” the rainbow-haired girl teases.
“I didn’t say that!” I sigh in exasperation.
“Ah, so you think she’s ugly, huh?” she says wryly.
“She’s not ugly! If anything, she’s the greatest girl I know!” I declare.
It wasn’t until I saw the smile on RD’s face that I realized what I’d just said. Well, that escalated quickly… “Don’t give me that look!” I say indignantly, heat rising to my face.
“Aw, is loverboy shy?” Rainbow Dash coos, pinching my cheek teasingly. “Aw, how sweet!”
I shrug her off. “Yeah, yeah, I’m a huge softy, can we please move on?” I grunt.
“Well, here’s a question: Why don’t you just tell her already?” she asks.
I run my hand through my hair nervously. “Deja vu,” I mutter wryly.
Rainbow Dash rolls her eyes and sighs. “Let me guess: You don’t wanna lose the freedom you’re used to, but at the same time, you wouldn’t mind being in a relationship. That sounds right?”
I look up, mildly surprised. “You know, you’re a lot more perceptive than you act.”
She smirks. “Yeah, well, I guess I kinda know where you’re coming from. After all, I had the same thing going on with Soarin…”
This time, I’m genuinely shocked. “Really?! But you guys re like, the Wonderbolt power couple!”
She chuckles a bit. “It’s probably because we’re a little more… Casual than other couples, if you wanna put it nicely.”
I’m about to say something in disbelief, but looking back on it, I see her point. “Yeah… I suppose so,” I admit.
“See, half the reason that couples break up is because someone’s insecure about what the other one’s doing behind his or her back. PEGASI, on the other hand, know the difference between someone cheating on you and someone having a fling with someone else.”
I raise my eyebrows. “There’s a difference?”
“Course there’s a difference! I mean, if they’re just having a fling with that person, they don’t love them the way they love their ACTUAL partner! Now, with cheating, they might have those feelings for someone else, you feel me?”
“… Not really,” I admit.
She sighs in frustration. “Alright, how about this: If we were to have sex right now, would we be in love?”
“Depends how good the sex is,” I grin.
She chuckles. “Ok, THAT was good,” she admits. “But seriously, love isn’t equal to sex. Love means being with that person when they need you, helping them when they’re down, supporting them through thick and thin! That’s what I and Soarin have, and to be honest, I don’t think I could have that with anyone else.”
*“So why weren’t you sure about dating him?” I ask.
She sighs. “Well, I guess I was just afraid that he’d be a drag, you know? Like he wouldn’t like it if I did this stuff. But you know what? Not only does he think the same way, but he’s also pretty secure in what he thinks.”
“Well, that’s all well and good for you two, but what about MY situation, huh?” I ask irritably. “Twilight’s probably not going to go for the whole ‘casual’ thing, and I don’t think I could change it even if I wanted to!”
“Well then, don’t date her!” Rainbow Dash says coolly.
I sit there for a second before turning back to Rainbow. “That’s it?” I ask unsurely.
“Yup,” she replies. “If YOU don’t want to sacrifice, and SHE won’t sacrifice, then it probably won’t work out.”
“But… I want it to work out,” I say quietly.
“What was that?” RD asked, grinning.
“I want it to work out,” I say a little more surely. “Yeah, it’s got to work out.”
“Well, there you go!” she smiles smugly. “You’ll figure out a way!”
I pause for a moment before turning back to her. “You should open up a psychology practice or something,” I say in awe.
She shrugs. “Nah. Too boring.”
“One last thing,” I add as I get up. “What do I say to Applejack when we find her?”
Her eyes suddenly widen in alarm. “Wait, don’t say it now!” She says in panic. “I mean, not till this whole thing’s over! Holy shit man, you nearly fucked us over! I mean imagine how distracted everyone would be for the rest of this whole trip!”
“Yeah, I guess you’re right,” I admit. “God, this is so out of character for you!”
She smiles smugly. “Well, you could say that I’m getting a little help,” she says in Discord’s voice. Realizing what just happened, she covers her mouth in shock. “What just happened?!” she asks in her own alarmed voice.
Suddenly, a flash of white light bursts in the middle of the room, revealing a smug looking Discord. “Sorry, I couldn’t resist!” he chortled at the looks of our faces.
Instinctively, I grab the Rainbow sword, only to see it be turned into a candy cane n a flash of white. “Now now, don’t be so defensive.” Discord says reprovingly as he bites off the edge of the candy cane. “All I wanted was to offer my honest opinion.”
*“You think I’m going to take you possessing Rainbow Dash?!” I asked incredulously. “God, what if you’ve been controlling everything this whole time?!”
“Trust me, it was just this once!” He promised, an angel halo flashing above his head again. “Believe it or not, I’m not some heartless fiend who only takes pleasure in making others miserable.”
“I’m fine, by the way,” Rainbow Dash moans. We both turn to find the rainbow-haired hologram turning a sickly shade of green. “Feeling like I’m gonna hurl up a doozy…”
“Oh yeah, sorry about that,” Discord says sheepishly. “One of the symptoms of possession that I haven’t quite figured out… Just release and the worst will be over!”
She lets out an enormous belch, releasing a stream of rainbow liquid. “Yeah, I’m not gonna be able to taste anything for a week,” she moans, clutching her stomach.
Discord gives her one last look of mild interest before turning back to me. “Like I was saying, it was one time! No harm came of it anyways.”
I look at him, unsure whether as to believe him or not. “And what if you’re just doing this just to screw with me?” I demand.
In a white flash, his brown suit turns into a standard Boy Scout uniform. “I promise, it was genuine advice! Scout’s honor!”
Somewhat satisfied, I lower my candy-cane. “Alright… doesn’t mean I’m going to take your advice, though,” I scoff.
“Your funeral,” he sighs in mock regret. Anyways, other than helping your poor, pitiful problems, I came here to give you a little heads up!”
I raise my eyebrow. “And what would that be?” I ask inquisitively.
He clears his throat and begins his little announcement: “To find your compatriots, just stick around for the feast; but to leave this little world of yours, you must first face the beast. Slip the noose around his neck, shove a blade into his heart; but beware, for this monster has a trick or two in his cart! Since there’s no alternative, and slay the beast you must; take heed of my warning friend, and beware the aroma of lust!”
I look at him in confusion. “What the hell does that mean?!”
He smirks. “I said I’d give you a head’s up, not an instruction manual! Figure it out for yourself!” And with a cackle and a flash of light, and it’s just me and my very sick sword.
Rainbow Dash looks at me wearily. “What do you think he meant, feast?” she asks.
I shrug. “We’ll probably see them while we’re eating or something… You?”
She moans and lays her head down on the bed. “Dude, right now, I don’t think I could even stomach a cracker.”
As if the universe decided that tonight was Flip the Bird to Rainbow Dash Day, the innkeeper’s fat wife came bursting through the door. “Alight, you lot!” she bellowed. “Supper time!”
Rainbow nearly gags and her hologram goes back into the sword. I chuckle and sling her sheath around my back. Well, here goes nothing...