I struggled against my bonds, the ropes tearing into my sides. Trying to escape rope was much harder than it looks, especially considering the fact I was dangling upside down from the ceiling above a boiling black pot of… something boiling and pulsing yellow. If it weren’t for the fact my life could be at forfeit, I’d point out the lack of creativity to my captor, but I liked my solid state of matter. Times like these were when I wish I could just teleport my way out of things.
Please don’t look at me like that. Yes, I’m a unicorn, but not all unicorns have vast reservoirs of power and skill.
An increase in pressure began hurting my backside as one of my companions began to stir. His tan wings were average sized, but the lack of space was making the situation unbearable as the ropes burned on my sides. Fortunately my other companion was still unconscious, otherwise things would get awkward.
A single pegasus danced in circles around the boiling pot chanting gibberish while wearing some old-fashioned regal masquerade mask. I wish he was just some primitive forest-dweller I could outwit and escape. Well, he was primitive in a sense. But no matter, the fact being he was brainwashed by a pony of incredibly high magical caliber and no less-than-average pony like me could break that enchantment. At least he didn’t have a stick to poke us with.
My arms strained as I used all of my frail unicorn strength to pull it from my sides. My grey earth pony companion was still peacefully oblivious to the situation in his slumber; otherwise he could probably snap these ropes like pieces of hay. And then he would brag about it and try to hit on me. Again. Having some magic right now would be pretty useful. Cancelling out a knockout spell is easier than a brainwashing spell, right?
A mumbling interrupted my train of thought. My pegasus friend tried opening his wings frantically as he struggled against the ropes, apparently semi-conscious. I bit my tongue and debated on the help I could offer. If he was having a night terror, I could only make things worse. Well, things couldn’t get much worse, could they?
“Dust, hey, wake up buddy.” I nudged my best friend. He blinked a few times in the darkness and smacked his lips. A sigh of relief escaped my own. Dust stopped struggling and turned his head toward mine. It was disorientating upside down, but at least we could see with the little moonlight we had.
“Zee, what’s going to happen?” Dust whimpered. His scared tone mirrored my emotions exactly, but I did my best to hide it. Dust looked up to me, after all, and it was my duty to keep him at ease. My shoulders shifted in a pathetic shrug.
“Well, this can go down in three ways. I suggest we escape before any of it happens,” I replied as I pulled my arms with renewed strength. Even with our combined effort, it was pointless. Somepony behind me coughed, seeking attention. My ears drooped (or slackened, considering gravity was currently reversed and they merely hung loose).
“You forgetting somepony?” A masculine voice asked. His voice was like silk, so smooth you just wanted to be wrapped up in it and carried away. Some of the mares at school harbored that secret dream, but he never paid any attention to them. Stallions too. Personally I preferred cotton so it wasn’t much of an issue to me; it made our friendship a little less awkward.
Oh, I’m going off on a tangent again. Excuse me; it’s a quirk of my species.
“Uh, no. Of course not!” I reassured him. Escaping was the priority and he was an earth pony after all. With a grunt he tugged on the ropes, to no avail. He must’ve been drugged harder than I thought. He gave a few more tugs before deciding to wiggle teasingly, trying to irritate me.
“So, what are those exactly?” He asked as he dug his shoulder into mine and began digging in. It was a teeny bit painful, but I bit my lip before I could bark at him.
“Well Lu, best case scenario we get rescued, no questions asked.” Dust and Lu nodded. Knowing who are would-be-heroes are, it was a good possibility. Unfortunately the other two options weren’t as fun and hopeful. “Second, she wins and all of Equestria is thrust into darkness. Plus we become royal concubines and live a life of servitude,” I speculated as the three of us shivered in fear. I wouldn’t be able to last five years against a horn that large.
“Sounds great! When I’m done, I won’t be able to sit for weeks!” The chanting pegasus broke his rhythm with his rude comment. We glared at him with hatred in our eyes.
“SHUT UP SKATES!” Our combined shout reverberated through the castle room and halls. Now that I think about it, our bearings were oddly familiar. It was just like the college castle, just worn down and desolate. Probably hundreds of years since another pony set hoof in here. The archeologist major in me wanted to further observe the area, but escape was a little more important.
“So, what else?” Lu motioned me to continue. Dust was beginning to pout, expecting the worst scenario to be something terrible. It hurt for me to do this, but lying was not an option.
“Well, say things do go well. For them, not us. With Skates brainwashed, we don’t look so hot, do we? We get blasted by the Elements and Harmony and can kiss sweet Equestria goodbye,” came my morbid answer. The three of us shuddered once more in horror, fearing the elements. What sadistic freak invented such evil devices?
One of my ears perked up, detecting a faint noise. Was that… hoof steps? My eyes widened in anticipated horror as my body began a frantic flail. The other two picked up on my emotions and begun struggling as well. The rope, suspended from the ceiling, allowed us to rock back and forth but gave us no measure of slack. If we were lucky, the ceiling would crack and we would fall to the ground. Still tied up, but free from the foreboding pot. We had thirty feet or so to aim, but the hope remained.
The treacherous Skates stopped his chanting to listen to the patter of hoof steps. It was louder, and sounded like a number of ponies galloping. Not a good sign. And my companions were no closer to escaping.
A magic-less unicorn, a drugged up earth pony, and a bound pegasus do not make for a great escape. Well, technically we had magic altogether, but the situation was too dire to use it. Ironic, huh?
A heroic sextuplet of fashionable mares barged through the wooden door with a purple blast. I couldn’t help but admire their jewelry; it did match their cutie marks after all. The six iconic heroes scanned the room for anymore surprises before facing Skates, who had taken a battle stance. His wings were buzzing, ready to jump at full speed. Even with a solid brainwashing, his stunt skills were intact. His flying skills hadn’t improved since foalhood, but hey, nopony’s perfect.
“Stand down! Nightmare Moon is defeated and we won’t hesitate to defeat her minions, too!” the unicorn named Twilight declared. It was a little getting used to seeing her without the wings, but the tiara helped the resemblance.
“Yeah, you’re mean ponies!” Pinkie Pie accused as she bounced around Twilight, irritated. She had every right to speak, considering Skates and a well-aimed rock was to blame for a rising bump on her head. I had berated Skates for that, her singing did get annoying at times but that didn’t excuse his behavior. Sheesh, sometimes it’s like I’m foalsitting.
I chuckled to myself, wondering how much I could charge. Dust and Lu chuckled along, hoping to defuse the situation with laughter. That and we were kind of going insane with fear. I felt the ropes by my leg nearest Lu grow damp. Cue Dust and I hopping on the bandwagon as we followed suit. When facing certain death it was best to have an empty bladder.
The group of six debated on their course of actions before slowly rising into the air. Oh boy. Dear Princess Cadenza, don’t- Oh yes they are. A rainbow formed from the light of each necklace and tiara, slowly but surely coming toward us. To a normal pony, a blast from the Elements of Harmony would purify even the most evil of enchantments. Sans Skates, that was not the case.
“Any last words?” Lu whispered to Dust and I, a quivering whimper developing in his silky voice. Dust shook his head as I nodded.
“Yeah, this.” I breathed in deeply. Lu and Dust looked at each other, nodded, and followed suit.
“ARGHH!!” We screamed as we hugged each other for our last moments on Equestria. To come so far, only to be banished into eternal night. At least I was with my friends. Lu pulled tighter, which caused a thought to stray across my mind.
“Wait a minute!” I cried, throwing up my hoofs. The elemental rainbow ceased its trajectory, five feet away from me, and politely waited for me to finish. My eyes flickered back and forth, taking in the scene. Six arms were involved in this desperate hug, plus Dust’s wings were… well to be fair he had just woken up and it WAS supposed to be morning. Anyway, besides the point, that could only mean…
The rope wasn’t holding us up anymore. The moment I realized this we began plummeting downward toward the pot of (more) doom.
“Waa I can’t use any magic!” I flailed helplessly as I fell to my death.
“I’m useless!” Lu cried, covering his eyes with his hooves as he sobbed.
“Help! I can’t fly- Oh wait I’m a pegasus!” Dust realized as he began flapping his wings. I facehoofed as he swooped over and lifted Lu and I away from the pot. Touchdown was hard, considering Dust wasn’t the strongest pegasus around, but we had survived. Skates was frozen on the spot, half from fear and the other half in surprise.
“H-how did you that?” Twilight stuttered in shock, staring wide-eyes at the frozen rainbow. I shrugged, deciding explaining again was pointless. Lu walked up to Skates and chopped the back of his head, knocking him out. His ears flicked toward him and he jerked his head, waiting for me.
“Here, let me get this,” I ordered as I picked up Skates. My energies were beginning to return so I decided to have a little fun. I tucked Skates’ head in and wrapped his tail around his body. A few more squeezes here and there and BAM! Pony basketball! I bounced him a couple times to test his personal reality before throwing him at the rainbow. He bounced off with barely a few sparks right into my arms.
“Gra… what happened bro?” Skates mumbled as he came to, the enchantment broken by Harmony. A grin slowly grew into the corners of my muzzle, happy to see my friend again. A little exposure to Harmony wouldn’t hurt, but a full-on blast would’ve killed us. His orange eyes twinkled at my blue, our happiness growing together. A certain purple unicorn coughed, interrupting our moment.
“Yes, oh great and powerful Sparkles?” I curtsied, hoping not to offend her. Apparently that had the opposite effect on her friends.
“You think this is a joke? We know you were spies!” Rainbow Dash shouted from her spot in the air, her hover becoming more of an angry buzz. I merely saluted her and rolled my eyes.
“I keep telling you, it was just a mistake,” I reasoned. Twilight and Applejack exchanged looks before Twilight returned mine.
“Alright, we’ll believe you for now. But know we’ll have to keep an eye on you,” Twilight confessed. My friends relaxed behind me, happy to escape divine punishment. Twilight turned around and faced her friends. “Well everypony, we should probably go home for the night. Applejack, do you have any room for these ponies?” She asked. Applejack raised a hoof to her chin in thought.
“Well, there’s always the guest rooms. But I can only fit the three stallions in. Is that okay?” My friends nodded frantically. We had the bits to repay her, we were just glad not to be labeled undesirables anymore. So what if we accidentally resurrected an evil deity? It was an accident!
Wait a minute. Did she say three stallions?
“That works perfectly! The mare can come with me, perhaps she could teach me that spell!” Twilight giggled at the thought. She was much more at ease than I thought. All the evidence of our innocence, now proven, must be working wonders now. But one thing bugged me…
“I. AM. NOT. A. MARE!” I screamed for the fifth time that night.
I'm a time traveler!