Our Girl Scootaloo

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It was during the winter of her 9th year with us during 10th grade that Scootaloo had her run in with Dr. Kebaish. Our daughter had generally had positive interactions with doctors and hospitals, but on this particular evening her usual gynecologist was out of town, so the director of the department was filling in. Everyone else was on time, but had orders to wait for him. An hour and a half past the appointment time he finally walked in interrupting a conversation between Scootaloo and Mary.

"Hello, Ms Scudalo." He looked her over with a stern expression. "Why aren't you ready?" he asked gestured to the stirrups.

"Then why would I need to talk to you. Get in the stirrups so I can get on with this, I am on a schedule you know."

Scootaloo bit back a retort and climbed onto the table while Dr. Kebaish set out his tools on the counter.

Scootaloo tried to keep her cool and relax as best she could, but just as she and Mary were resuming their conversation...

"You ass! Didn't you read my chart?! Dr. Gray's study ended six months ago along with those painful samples every month!"

"Well its hardly my fault if your people" he gestured at Mary "fail to keep me informed."

"Oh that's it! Get out! I don't care if you have to get a resident in here to do the exam."

He stood over her and intoned severely "Ms Scudalo, which one of us is an experienced Doctor?"

He didn't seem to know what to make of that, and while he worked up a retort, Scootaloo took charge. "Mary," she gestured between the stirrups, "a little help?"

With the metal speculum back on the counter she slid off the table and opened the door. "Nurse?"

"Oh, its not for me, just please bring a normal exam table with stirrups as fast as you can. Oh, and page whoever is the gynecologist on staff tonight, we need them."

Her puzzled expression changed to surprise, then amusement as she worked it out. "Yes Ma'am!"

Dr. Kebaish did his best to tower over her as she came back in and closed the door. "Well since you obviously aren't going to cooperate, I will be on my way. You can expect my bill in the mail."

Scootaloo spread her wings and squared her shoulders blocking the door as she grinned. "No, I don't think you will be. When I was a child my parents went with me on every hospital visit, got just as many needle sticks, and were always there to show it was okay. I think its time you followed their example."

The door opened, Scootaloo stepped out of the way, and the nurse rolled the new table into the room and set it up beside the first. "Dr. Habibah will be here in a moment."

Dr. Kebaish looked at the second table, then back to Scootaloo who was again blocking the door. "Get out of my way little girl. You won't listen to your betters so I am done here."

"That could be more true than you know if you're not careful. Mary, what would happen if I were to withdraw my medical cooperation because of the behavior of one of the hospital physicians?"

That seemed to get his attention and Mary had to think for a moment: "Well, at the very least they would be forced to apologize, and probably fired too." Mary watched as the danger he was in registered for the first time. "In fact there is a very good chance that the resulting lawsuit from the loss incurred by the hospital would bankrupt him."

Scootaloo looked up at him and in a cold but level tone said: "I've been working with this hospital for almost a decade and I've never had a doctor treat me like a laboratory rat before. So I'll give you a choice. You can try to fight your way out of this room, then explain what happened tonight to all the hospital's shareholders, and tell them you're very sorry you caused me to seek another medical center. And please keep in mind, this is all on video." She gestured to the camera in the corner that was in place to complement the hospital records. "Or you can put on the same hospital gown I'm wearing, and go through the same procedure I am."

Mary stepped up, arms crossed, and gave him a hard look, "And the departmental director can't take what he just did to his patient?"

The rest of the exam went off without a hitch, and for the next half hour both patients waited in the stirrups. Scootlaoo and Mary picked up their conversation as though it was the most normal situation in the world while the good director squirmed and blushed and kept tying to cover himself with the tiny translucent hospital gown. And when the proctologist arrived midway through, they made sure he used the 'good stainless speculum'.

The spring of 10th grade also saw our daughters first involvement with the Girl Scouts. It all started after practice one evening when Melissa was talking about what her troop had gotten up to. The girls had arranged a trip to the local paintball field, but the date had conflicted with the schedule for the Boy Scouts, so in good form, they set a friendly bet –the troupes would battle it out and loser paid rental costs for both. Melissa's scouts, acting on some inside intel from the retired lady Sergeant who owned the field, had worn bright, neon colors while the boys had worn green camouflage. It was an indoor field that sold bright orange paintballs, and the boys had stood out like green beacons in a field of orange while the girls blended right in. Amid the laughter over the resulting chaos, Melissa finished: "And after we all showered off, we went out for ice cream with the money we saved...and we took the boys, too, to show 'em no hard feelings."

"I kind of feel left out here," Scootaloo said. "I never got the chance to be in Girl Scouts when I was a kid... It sounds like a lot of fun."

"Oh you don't know what you're missing! It's not too late, we could always use another assistant troop leader." Melanie added "Why don't you come with us this weekend and give it a try?"

"Yeah, its the annual fall camp-out. You'll have a blast! We start with a hike, eat a picnic lunch by a stream, search for a geo-cache..."

"It is kind of fake camping... we have a cabin instead of tents, but running water, showers and toilets are pretty welcome after a day in the woods."

"That sounds awesome!" Scootaloo responded "Just tell me where and I will totally be there."

Early that Saturday morning 20 girls with backpacks and their troupe leaders were gathered at the entrance to the trail. Some wore ordinary hiking clothes with their sashes, a few wore shorts and uniform tops, and quite a few were yawning and complaining about having to get out of bed early on a Saturday, including Josie. "Yawn... All right, do we have everyone here?"

Melissa checked her list "Everyone but Scootaloo. You did tell her we start at 8AM right?"

"I did, and she should be here, but we are already a bit behind... Oh, I know!" She turned to the assembled group "Who here has a signal mirror or compact?"

About half their hands went up; "Okay, we're expecting one more member, but they'll be coming in from above, so I want all of you to keep an eye out for her. First person to spot her overhead and first to signal our location with a mirror can get credit towards the wilderness survival badge."

There was a murmur of enthusiastic surprise and with necks craning to watch the sky, the group made their way up the trail and into the trees.

About ten minutes later Scootaloo flew over the camp site and found cars in the gravel lot, but the camp ground deserted. 'Crap, they must left without me...'

She flew on in the direction she thought they might have gone, and inside of two minutes was surprised to see flashes of light coming from a clearing in the forest.

She touched down in front of the group to cheers from the younger girls. "Miss Melissa! Who saw her first? Who gets the credit?"

"Oh I think we can call that a team effort. Unless Miss Scootaloo could see who signaled first?"

"Well normally the pilot rescues the campers, not the other way around." She grinned, and Scootaloo's snarky response was drowned out by the younger scouts clamoring for an answer. After confirming that they got to share credit, they proceeded up the trail under the warm morning sun.

The day rapidly went from warm to sweltering, and everyone was making good use of their water before they stopped for lunch at a stream that cut a path down the side of a hill. Over a meal of sandwiches and trail mix the troop leaders talked about the birds and plants they had seen, and the older Scouts gave presentations to the younger ones on wilderness skills like how to use a compass, the importance of sanitizing any water found in the field, and how to build a small emergency shelter and read trail signs.

One of the thirteen-year-olds had her geology badge, so she helped the little eight-year-olds identify several kinds of sedimentary rock and one found a small fossil in the shale, and an eleven-year-old working towards her botany badge got a lot of help from her friends, who fanned out from the trail to snap pictures of wildflowers with their digital cameras. Scootaloo found some honeysuckle and was about to enjoy a big bite when one of the tiniest little eight-year-olds reminded her that Scouts 'take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints,' at which point Melanie showed the girls how to drink the nectar from the tiny blossoms and mentioned a ranger's report that honeysuckle is technically considered a pest species in some areas, including the National Park they were visiting. "Provided you leave some for the hummingbirds, you can all have some," she explained cheerfully, and Scootaloo helped the little eight-year-old reach a few blossoms to taste.

A question about the amount of trash they had seen at the beginning of the trail started a discussion about environmental responsibility, recycling and how aluminum was made. In grand old Scouting tradition, the girls had brought a few used plastic bags from the shopping center and were gathering any trash they found, with a friendly competition between the Ladybugs (ages eight-nine,) Butterflies (ages ten-eleven,) Crickets (ages twelve-thirteen,) and of course, the Great Big Spiders...or assistant troop leaders. Scootaloo seemed a bit puzzled by the names, and Melanie explained that age-combined troops always pick their own sub-unit sobriquets "and it was the week the entomologist came to speak."

"You bet!" a little Ladybug agreed. "I dissected a earf-worm and we learned all about lepidop...lepidopt...butterflies an' moths!"

The hike back seemed longer then the trip out, and before they made it back some of the Ladybugs had started hitching rides on Scootaloo's back, much to her amusement.

She just smiled "Hey, I carry all of you around during practice don't I? They're nothing by comparison." Her expression turned wistful, almost motherly as she looked at the little girl who had fallen asleep on her back nestled between her arms. "Besides, its nice to have someone to... care for."

They soon arrived back at camp and broke into groups to gather firewood, grill up dinner and clean up the cabins for the night. After burning three burgers beyond recognition Christina gently shouldered Scootaloo aside and helped her with the meal.

"No problem Scoot, I know you don't eat meat. You could hardly be expected to know how to cook it," she smiled.

"I guess you're right, though Mary has told me that I should be able to eat it safely. It just doesn't... smell right."

"I think so too. I'm trying to suck it up and impress them all, but the truth is those burgers smell bad raw, cooked or burned up. I guess I just can't smell the difference," she shrugged.

"Mary figured it out a while back. I can eat the same hay and grain that a horse can, but they spend most of their day eating and re-grinding their food because it has so little food value. You know I don't spend 7 hours a day eating, and that's because I can process higher value foods like grains, fruits, nuts, oils, sugars and probably, meat. I tried some protein supplements once for a study and, provided I didn't have to taste them, I could eat them without problems."

Just then, the little Indian-American Ladybug who had reminded Scootaloo of the no-picking-flowers rule appeared with a soft-cooler lunchbox.

"Miss Scootaloo, if you don't eat meat, you can have some of my veggie burgers! I brought enough for three people."

"Thank you, Lalitha! I really appreciate that!" Scootaloo used her arm to get something out of her own backpack. "Would you like some of these trail mix bars I brought? My Dad made them with honey, oats and raisins."

"Yes, please!" the little Hindu scout accepted, happily nibbling a bar and telling Scootaloo about how these veggie burgers were the bestest kind because they had more mushroom and no green peppers, at which point she and Scootaloo began to discuss the relative merits of various vegetarian delicacies...and, of course, ketchup.

Scootaloo and her protege were soon called away to help with the firewood and Christina looked thoughtful as she served up the food.

After dinner the younger scouts were picked up by their parents leaving some fourteen girls left to roast marshmallows around the campfire as darkness fell. The troupe leaders each had their go at scary stories, but Scootaloo pulled Christina aside, and when her turn came she made up a story about creepy zombies that rose from the ground, grabbing any who came near and pulling them down into the grave. Just as she got to the scariest part, a pair of arms burst from the ground and grabbed Josie by the ankles!

"AHEEEEE! Zombies!" She screamed frantically scuttling backwards to safety as all the other scouts shrieked in terror. The arms continued to wave about, grasping for fresh prey for almost half a minute before Josie, still panting, noticed that Scootaloo wasn't screaming... "Hey, where are your arms Scootaloo?"

"They must have been taken by... The Zombies! Ohhhh!" She said, still gesturing with her arms. The same arms that she had buried in leaves near the campfire.

The arms pointed to where her head usually was; "When I got the wireless control unit."

After a moments calm while Scootaloo dug out her prosthetic arms and strapped them back on Josie conceded "Okay, that was pretty clever. No one has got me that good in years."

They all shared a laugh, and soon everyone adjourned to their tent or the showers. The water was only luke-warm, but after all day hiking in the sun there were no complaints. Scootaloo borrowed a step stool to put her arms on and propped them up just outside the shower with the usual supplies. As she scrubbed off, one of the troop leaders who was not a cheerleader commented "Oh, so that's how you shower." She blushed "Sorry, I guess I never thought about it."

As her arms sat on the stool scrubbing her off she glanced up "Well yeah, try wrapping your hands and feet in duck tape and taking a shower. A brush and your teeth only get you so far." She looked cross eyed at the top of her head and sighed "I just wish I had thought to bring the stand for my control unit, it may be water proof, but I can only get so clean with this thing on."

"Oh, I should have remembered" Christina said taking the brush from stand "Do you mind if I?" She asked gesturing to the top of her head.

Christina pealed off the sweaty electronic pickup and Scootaloo's arms drooped as the control link was broken. She showered it off before taking the brush to the top of Scootaloo's head who practically cooed feeling her skin exposed to cool water after a long day under the hot sun.

As everyone toweled off one of the younger scouts asked "Melanie, how much longer do I have to wait before I get..." She said gesturing self consciously to her chest.

Melanie couldn't help but chuckle. "Well the bosom fairy comes to each house in good time. Don't be in too much of a hurry, these things can be a more trouble then they're worth sometimes."

"Are you kidding?" Josie asked. "I would love to have your figure! Your bosom fairy must have missed my house. I need most of a sock drawer to fill out any good dress!"

"You haven't had to lug these around all day. The bosom fairy didn't stop by my house, she dive-bombed it. You can walk into a room and guys treat you like a person. I show up and some of them only see an object... Though on poker night that can be handy..." she smiled again.

"At least both yours are even," Christina countered. "Mine are different sizes! You know how hard it can be to stuff tissues into half a dress and try to make it look natural?"

After a moments embarrassed silence the youngest scout in the room piped up. "How many nipples do you have?"

They soon herded everyone into the cabin and as they settled down for the night, some girls went right to sleep while others stayed up chatting quietly in small groups. Among the assembled troop leaders, the topic soon turned to who had a crush on whom. After much giggling and stifled laughter Melanie asked asked Scootaloo who she was interested in.

"I don't really have anyone in mind right now... I've had two boyfriends, but nether one really worked out."

"What?" Josie asked defensively, "It seems like everyone else I know has already been with someone." She curled up under the covers and finished in a sad tone "I hoped that I wasn't the only one left."

"Well, you still have me for company" Scootaloo replied ruefully. "Though from what I've heard from the other girls, we haven't missed much."

"Hate to say it, but I tend to agree," Melanie replied. "I lost my virginity to a guy on the lacrosse team, but it wasn't very good. You were right when you told us high school guys are, what did you call them Josie? Platypus?"

"Padawan," Josie laughed. "It means they're still learning, and they don't know much yet."

"That's almost exactly what my dads told me." Scootaloo added "I guess they would know," she said as she made a face.

"I just wish it didn't have to be such a contest. I'm so sick of the idea that we're all in a race to fuck someone." Christina spat.

"Yeah, whatever happened to love?" Scootaloo said. "I just want someone who I can care for, someone who can care for me... I... I just feel lonely sometimes."

"...I know what you mean." Christina answered as she looked across at Scootaloo "You see all the snuggly couples at school... that's what I want. I just want someone who cares..."

There was a lull as they all wondered what the future would bring. Ever the pragmatist, Josie spoke up. "Well, if you're looking for someone, what about Conner?"

Yeah, I know Conner. He's a good guy, if a bit quiet. I guess he must have a hard time meeting people because it seems like he doesn't normally have a girlfriend..."

"I've known Conner for years, he's lived a couple blocks away since my dads and I moved to the city. He is a nice guy, even tempered..."

"I guess I just never thought of Conner in that way." Scootaloo said contemplatively. "He's just always been there as a good friend."

"Omg, are telling me he's been without a girlfriend for almost as long as you've known him and you think of him as a trusted friend?" Melanie accused. "Scoot! You friend-zoned him!"

Melanie continued: "He's never shown any interest? Never gone out of his way to spend time with you?"

Christina looked hopeful at Scootaloo as she added "Sometimes it can be... hard to tell someone how you really feel, even when you know them well."

Scootaloo considered for a moment, then "You guys are right, Conner is a good guy, and he's taught me a thing or two about sewing and fashion over the years. I'll do it. I'll ask him out to the 10th grade prom and see what he says."

Melanie and Josie both congratulated her and swore her to keep them in the loop about whatever happened, but Christina remained silent looking out the window. Eventually Scootaloo noticed and asked: "Whats wrong Christina? You look kind of down."

She seemed to struggle with something, then managed "I... I just thought I was going to help you design your dress for the prom."

"Oh don't be that way. Of course I still want your help on the dress! We can work on some designs after math tutoring next week, and I can help you with your outfit too."

Christina smiled weakly and agreed, and the conversation soon moved on to other topics. Eventually the need for sleep crept over even them, and after the days exertions, nearly everyone slept soundly.

Our girl Scootaloo 1 of 3

by Cozy Mark IV

Ch 8: Cold Steel, Zombies and Girl Scouts