"We heard a crash! Did you fall? I like falling because its like flying! You shouldnt though. You were sick and--" Pinkie Pie was out done by the ugly pony.
"MF498JNFJKEH543298FHUBbrdtyrdtnbvhenx6DDDVRIUY6FBAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!"
"I'm sorry Pinkie I cant hear you! You said I was sick?" I shouted.
"WHY ARE YOU SHOUTING? IS IT SHOUT TIME?" She started hopping.
"What do you mean why am I shouting? This isnt annoying?!" My finger pointed accusingly to the screaming abomination.
"You mean the wall?" Twilight said, barely audible.
"NO! THE SCREAMING JERK RIGHT THERE!" I shook my hand.
"Theres nothing there Darling." Rarity came up to the bed. "Only the wall."
Dash floated closer and poofed through the pony in question. It continued screaming.
"...Well then." I said flatly.
Later
"What do you mean I focused so hard on something my mind created it for me? Thats stupid." I told them.
"Well its not our fault you tried to, what was it? Telekenetically link with somepony? Your mind is only doing what you told it to do." Twilight said as-matter-of-factly.
"I didnt tell it it make--SHUT UP!!! I didnt tell it to make a screaming blur!"
"FFFBAAAAGGHGHGYSGHRFY5686YU54SHIGGYDIGGYDOOWHEREAREYOUJF985U46YBH!!!!!!!!"
"I SAID SHUT UP!" I lunged for the creature only to poof right through it. "Oh yeah...its not real."
"You're lucky! If I could make somepony in my head, I'd do it in a heartbeat!" Rainbow Dash exclaimed.
"Would yours scream at you when you talked?" I could barely hear anyone over its words.
"Well not really but--" Her sentence was cut short by screams of my own.
"HOW DO I MAKE IT GO AWAY?!"
"W-w-well, thinking st-started the problem. Have you t-tried unthin-thinking?" Fluttershy whispered in the corner.
"Fluttershy, dear, if it were easy as that, I believe this issue would have been cured long ago." Rarity scoffed.
It was a sound idea. All I had done since the...event was moan about my pathetic life and sleep. Come to think of it, why was I complaining before? My life is great. I may be trapped in some freakish world full of freaks, but I have the Earth equivalent of super powers. I got my mind back on track and focused on the task at hand, thinking of nothing.
"Whats he doin'? Is that thang fahnally killin' 'im?" Applejack asked. Her sentences were soon lost to me, as were the rest of theirs.
"GABLINGABBLE! FHDNHVHV4I845IN8YERTINY54IRVWLIMEFRES5VILUERWQINER 945784359859JVTM!!!!!!" It tried to get my attention.
I wanted so much to look at it and yell back but I restrained myself. My eyes would be shut forever if I clenched them shut any more at that point. It would not have the pleasure of my dreamy eyes gracing its hideous figure.
"FBEBCR854BCNJDGVFVB5476H74GFCFFRH8RY843YRG7RECNJ4O28HCODELYOKOF856H3756FJ4IRY8746C4BG48746G378BGTRYGYJTDHBGFY85FGDERYTERIMPLYING" Its voice faded. The world faded.
All of my senses were dulled. I felt nothing. Not the floor, not the warm air, not the clothes...lack of clothes. The feeling of the mare's stares also disappeared. Everything was blank. This wasnt your every day blankness. This was Advanced blankness.
I stayed like that for what must have been a eternity. In reality it was more like a two or three minutes but it felt like a long time. Then I slowly let my world return to me. The air first. It soothed me and made the process easier. Next was the sound. It was quiet but I could still hear the nothingness. Hard to explain, but somehow you always know the difference between 'quiet' and 'no sound period'. The last thing that came back to me was my sight. The mares were gone. I looked downstairs. It was hard to see, but the small amount of light from the closed shades illuminated the dark brown oak of the library just enough to see the ponies down there. All 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6 of them. It worked!
I almost called to them before I felt a breeze. Dang it, I was naked again. I really had to sort out this clothes issue. I walked over to the bed and pulled off one of the sheets, wrapping it around myself. This would have to do for now.
"Ahoy down there!" Making my presence known was but a small feat.
They jumped and looked up.
"Just little ole' me, not the boogey man."
They kept starring.
"Booger Pony?" I asked.
"Ahhhh." They nodded, understanding my statement now.
Later Again
"I'm afraid I cannot fully grasp what you're saying." I told them.
"What shes tryina' say is that yer high off yer haunches on magic!" Applejack summed up the long speech in one sentence.
"Hows that possible? Theres not even any magic on Earth! No way I suddenly need something I never did before!"
"Thats how drugs work, smart guy." Rainbow leaned a elbow on Applejack's head.
"Hey." She shooed her off. "Ah told yew behfore. Ruspect muh hayt."
"If it makes you feel any better, we'll all be here for you if you go through...um...withdrawals again." Fluttershy stayed true to her name, still weary of me.
I looked at my hands. I was having a intervention. With ponies. In a world full of a child's sugar-high dreams. I was addicted to magic like a moth to light. Its not that I even wanted it, my body just needs it now. My little stunt back in Canterlot used up the whatever Celestia and the doctors had given me and my body cant absorb enough from the air fast enough to 'recharge' me. Some powers. Why couldnt I have just gotten token super strength or ACTUAL flight?!
"So I'm going to HAVE to be magiked to stay alive?" I asked hesitantly.
The unicorns of the group looked away and nodded. There was a pause.
"How did you find out?"
Rarity turned to me. "Well, you were lying on the ground for hours shivering and sweating and sleeping. Nothing in Equestria BUT drugs does that...or I suppose if you're a really bad sleeper. Anyway, it was the best bet and it seemed to work--"
"So you dont know for sure?" I looked up.
"You could say that."
I smiled. So there was a chance I wasnt a junkie after all! "By the way Rarity, you make clothes, right?" I asked her.
"Yes. Why?"
"Well in case you havent noticed, I'm naked."
"Why is that a problem?"
"Where I'm from, its against the law to be without clothes. Could you..." I gestured to the thin sheet covering me.
"Ah! Of course darling! Forgive me, if I had known, I would have made you something sooner! Just come by my boutique when you're ready and I'm sure we can arrange something." She said.
"Alright cool."
"I'll even give you a discount!" Her smile would have warmed my heart but...
"Wait a minute. I have to pay? But I'm poor. I dont even have a job!"
"Well you could always do some favors for me. I do have a lot of orders piling up and I dont have time to do the chores."
For actual clothes, I was desperate. I agreed to her terms and the meeting was adjured. Applejck went to tend the farm, Rainbow to fly, Flutershy to...flutter, and so on. I left shortly after too. I wanted my garments ASAP.
The library's protective trunk no longer shielded me from the intense sun. Strangely it wasnt even that hot. Just REALLY sunny. Whatever Rarity was making would have to cover me up if I wanted to keep away from burns since I doubt theres sunscreen in the world. I mean, they have fur. Why would they need sun protection?
As I walked, ponies gave me the strangest looks.
"What? Is there something on my face?" I asked.
They slowly turned away and went about their business. I chalked it up to 'not used to seeing hairless monkey' and continued my walk. The soft dirt on the road got between my toes and made them feel weird yet also nice. Like when you're relaxing on the beach and the nice wet sand seeps between your toes. All in all, the walk was very quiet. Nopony really talked to me.
"Rarity?" I called into the store upon arrival.
"Jadec? You're earlier than I expected." Her voice echoed through the hallways. "Please, come in."
I stepped inside the cool shop. The escape from the sun was nice although my dirt trail wasnt.
"I'll be right there deary!" She called.
I panicked. What to do?! If a pony like her saw a mess like this, I'd be done! It was HORRENDOUS! There was like...TWENTY dirt particles! In response t the situation, I did what any sane man would do. I ripped off my clothes and wiped them all over the floor. The mess was clean, but at that moment, Rarity walked in.
"Oh goodness! I'm sorry, I didnt know you were getting comfortable."
I jumped. "Its not what it looks like!" I shouted and grabbed for my, er, Twilight's sheet.
"Its quite alright. Remember, you're the only one who needs clothes. Speaking of which, what sort of thing did you want?" She trotted over completely at ease, not even upset over the dirt on the floor. This pony was alright.
I thought over what I wanted. At first I was going to describe the type of clothes I wore on Earth but then I thought about it. Here wasnt Earth. It was already weird enough I would be wearing clothes, so why not deviate? A couple of ideas flashed into my head until I decided on what I wanted.
Half way through explaining, Rarity stopped me. "Wait, you want pants under your pants?"
"Well...yeah. Is that a problem?" I asked. I didnt want to push my luck.
"No." She sighed. "You humans have such strange customs though."
"Tell me about it." I rolled my eyes.
While Rarity got to work on what I wanted, I grabbed the mop and began cleaning. The mop passed over milk spills, glue spills, macaroni bits, everything you'd need for a arts-n-crafts project. I couldnt believe Rarity was into this kind of stuff.
"He the trail!" I heard a whisper.
"Shh! He'll hear you!"
"Muh big sis says he gots real good hearin an stuff."
I also had no idea Rarity was a pedophile. "Kids? Its OK, Rarity wont hurt you any more." I turned to the direction of the noise and held my hand out.
"He found us!"
"Ah told yall tuh be careful! Now look! We'll nevar git our human-wranglin' cutie marks!"
"Rarity is going to be so mad at the mess we made for nothing!"
"Is that why you're hiding? Are you afraid of Rarity?" I asked quietly. I believed they were truly scared.
"Scared? Of my sister? Why would We be?" The voice said. Out from the corner walked a marshmallow, a mini recolor of Applejack and some...orange purple thing. Dafuq?
"Sister? Pfft! Oh yeah! I...I knew that!" I chuckled nervously.
"Why are laughing nervously?" She asked. "Are you scared of us? Girls! We can get our cutie marks in scaring!"
They all cheered together and chanted in unison. "Cuite Mark Crusaders: Scaring Masters!"
Whatever unholy force brought these things into the universe must be real proud of itself. I simply backed away slowly and continued mopping as the followed me the rest of the time jumping out from behind bookshelves and doorways. After the first five minutes of them looking at their butts, I stopped pretending to be scared. Why was Rarity taking forever?!
"BAH!" The white one yelled again. Her name was Sweetie Belle.
"CUCKAW!" The orange 'Scootaloo' one yelled.
"BAZOOM!" Applebloom shouted.
I had enough. "OOGA BOOGA BOO BOOGA IMMA EAT YOUR SOULS WITH MILK AND FOALS!!!!" I crouched down and raised my arms out and over the sides of my head, fingers curled up like claws.
The little terrors jumped out of their own skin and dispersed. They dont call me Monster for nothing! My beautiful hallway was finally clear. I could get back to work and--BOOM! Rarity's workshop door burst open, fabric sheets flying out with it.
"M-my hallway..." I reached my hand out helplessly and brought it back. A tear formed in my soul.
"Jadec, Its done!" Rarity trotted out smiling. "Come and see!"
She looked around. "Oh and could you clean this up when you're done?" She went back to workshop. I heard three small giggles from around the corner.
When I walked in, all I could do was gawk at it. It was even better than what I imagined. Before me on a pony mannequin whose body was broken so it could stand upright was full body black suit. It had blood red bindings all along the arms. On the shoulder was a spike that extended into three more as it traveled up. The chest had a similar design but the spikes moved downward instead of up. It had a light brown belt that integrated with the suit and extended into more sanguine structures. They looked almost like a skirt combined but not and more...manly.
The legs were somewhat baggy. They too had dark red boots that puffed them out a bit more on the sides. From the back of the boots at around the ankles, bright red lines formed and traced up around the brim. The wrists had a almost gauntlet covering to them, held on with more bindings and straps. The suit looked like something out of a cartoon...and I loved it.
"Rarity you dont know what this means to me."
"Oh its nothing darling really. Whats some robes between friends?" She smiled and used her magic to float the suit over to the changing rooms.
It was a little difficult to fit on at first since it was tight, but it hugged my body in a good way. Nothing to loose and I could still breathe. Rarity had really outdone herself on this. I should have thanked her somehow. Like...saying thank you. Again.
"Thanks Rarity." The fabric didnt even hurt when it rubbed on me as I stepped out of the room.
"You look wonderful!" She said.
"Y-you too..." It turns out ponies like spaghetti. I could have sworn I smelled it from somewhere.