Nightmares
———
Chapter 21: Under the Big Top
———
Twilight Sparkle and Trixie shared a nervous look. "Alright, show of hooves," Trixie sighed, "who knew this was going to happen?"
Towering above the two unicorns was a scintillating specter of the starry hide of an Ursa Minor, jaws gaping, claws dug into the ground, eyes burning with fury. And on its back, with a star-spangled cloak and a wicked grin, was an equally spectral image of the Great and Powerful Trixie—in total command of the massive beast. The Ursa threw back its head and let loose a mighty roar that shook the earth—and a pink glow emanated from underneath the ghostly Trixie's hat.
"That's just no fair," Trixie grumbled. "Even my evil symbolic ghost self can use its magic? When do I get mine back?"
Twilight backed up against Trixie. "I-I don't know, but now would be a good time!"
The Ursa lunged forward and brought down a paw with a thundering crash; the two unicorns darted apart just in time. Twilight dug in her hooves and charged up a spell—but then the Ursa whipped around and backhanded her with the same paw, and the purple unicorn flew across the ring and landed in a heap at its edge.
"Oh," she grunted, "so that one can hurt me."
With a swirl of smoke, Nightmare Storm materialized over Twilight and brought down a column of blue energy; Twilight's eyes snapped open, her horn blazed to life, and the Nightmare's attack slammed into a translucent pink shield.
"Now now," cackled Nightmare Storm, "that's Trixie's demon to slay."
The taller unicorn raised a hoof over Twilight's head—and then Twilight blinked out of existence and reappeared on the other end of the ring...
...where the Ursa roared in fury and nearly brought a paw back down on top of her again. Twilight backed away next to Trixie, as the beast advanced menacingly.
"Okay, are you still not over that Ursa Minor thing?!" Twilight panted.
"What do you mean 'not over it?!'" Trixie shot back. "Do you have any idea what that meant to me?! It took away all of my things, it ruined me, it—"
"Move!" Twilight shouldered Trixie aside as the Ursa struck again; the two ponies rolled back to their feet and looked up, to find the ghostly image of Trixie with an amused smirk on her face. "It's not just the Ursa...you're up there too!"
"Yes, well, you're the genius who's been cracking the code!" Trixie snapped. "So how about—"
She yelped in fright and threw herself to the ground, just as a shimmering blast of blue magic seared by over her head. Twilight snapped her attention back in its direction, and found Nightmare Storm striding closer, grinning, green eyes glittering with delight.
"Didn't I tell you, little Twilight?" she laughed. "This is Trixie's demon to slay."
The Ursa growled, teeth gleaming. Twilight and Trixie shared a look—and then turned tail and bolted in the other direction.
Together they vaulted over the fallen seats and darted out of the tent. The frame of the tent exploded outwards and the Ursa charged after them with a furious roar and thundering footsteps. Around them, the scenery shifted again, to a barren windswept city, the streets deserted, the windows dark. The Ursa rumbled after them, knocking down light posts and dead trees, eyes blazing.
"Alright, what's all this?!" Twilight gasped.
Trixie glanced around their surroundings. "It's Baltimare—" She shouldered Twilight aside and led her down a different for the street; the Ursa simply smashed straight through a building behind them, a billowing cloud of dust and debris rising in its wake. "Where I, uh, got my start, I guess...?"
Twilight risked a glance over her shoulder, at the ghostly Trixie on the Ursa's back, a vicious smile on her face. "That image of you is controlling it," she said, "so I guess this thing represents something about you—and about the Ursa?"
"Ooh, did Princess Celestia teach you that one?"
"Not the time for sarcasm, Trixie!" They veered right and ducked down a smaller street; the Ursa barreled through another building and roared as it followed. "How do we stop this thing?!" The Ursa plowed through a third building, sending bits of concrete raining down on the two unicorns, and they dove down another alley and vaulted over a low fence. "The other ones went away after you admitted something important about yourself..."
"Yes, something unflattering," growled Trixie. She stole a frustrated glare back towards the Ursa, plunging through sheer concrete walls like they were nothing. "So what is it this time?! Am I fat?! Does my breath stink?! Am I not styling my mane right?!"
Up above, the ghostly Trixie's eyes flashed—and then she launched a pulsing column of pink light down between the two fleeing unicorns, blasting them apart and knocking them both into the walls on either side of the alley.
Twilight groaned as she picked herself back up. "This...must be about you, somehow," she said, and moved back to Trixie's side. The Ursa advanced slowly, menacingly, jaws hanging open and rage burning in its eyes. "But why would there be an image of you on top of that thing?"
Trixie rubbed the side of her head painfully. "And beating me up too—"
Twilight blinked, and then the two unicorns shared a surprised look. "Wait," Twilight said, "beating you up—that's it! It's—"
Another blazing blue pillar of light slammed down in between them and threw them apart again—and then the ground shook and cracked as Nightmare Storm landed between them with a furious snort.
"I have not laid dormant inside this pathetic charlatan's broken shambles of a mind to be denied like this," she snarled, and turned two glittering green eyes on Twilight as the purple unicorn struggled back up. With a telekinetic shove, she slammed Twilight up against the wall.
The purple unicorn looked up with a nervous smile. "Um...we can still talk about this if you want?"
With a furious scream, Nightmare Storm charged a spell at the end of her horn—and then, just before she fired it down at Twilight's head, a blue shape crashed into her from the side and pushed her head towards the Ursa. The spell went off with a blinding flash of light—and the beam slammed the ghostly image of Trixie off the Ursa's back. Nightmare Storm looked back, scowled at Trixie clinging to her neck, and bucked the blue unicorn off. She turned back towards Twilight, only to find her firing a spell of her own, and a wave of pink light threw Nightmare Storm into the opposite wall with a flash.
Twilight rushed over to Trixie and helped her up. "Are you—"
The Ursa cut her off with a shrieking roar that crumbled the walls around them. The two unicorns squeaked in fright and took off.
Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and thought back desperately to the princess's words. She tried to see the world through Trixie's eyes, through the eyes of a showmare, insecure about the limitations of the very power on which she depended for her identity and her livelihood. And there was this giant slavering beast, come to ruin everything about her, expose her powers for what they really were, destroy her possessions—including that most precious possession of all, her good name.
But who had brought the Ursa to Ponyville in the first place? Snips and Snails—but it was a shimmering translucent image of Trixie riding atop that thing, seemingly controlling it. And it was Trixie's boasting that had led Snips and Snails to go drag an Ursa to town in the first place.
Twilight looked back at the monster chasing them—where Trixie was back on its back, this time looking quite displeased. Somewhere deep inside her, Trixie blamed herself for all that—or rather, somewhere deep inside her, Trixie hated herself for all that. Because it made her confront the truth...or at least, what she thought was the truth.
"I understand, Trixie," she said at last. The blue unicorn blinked at her. "About why that thing is here."
Trixie rolled her eyes. "Oh, good, now get rid of it!"
"I...really can't do that."
"Oh, yes, of course, it's my demon to slay!" Trixie stole a glance over her shoulder at the beast bounding after them. "Which would be a lot easier if I had my magic!"
Twilight looked around frantically, and then wrapped her tail back up with Trixie's. "Hold on, we need someplace to think!"
The world vanished in a burst of pink light, and then reappeared around them, far behind the Ursa, in the midst of its vast, smoking path of destruction. The two unicorns slumped to the ground tiredly as the Ursa's thunderous footfalls faded into the distance.
"I understand that now," Twilight said after catching her breath. "That Ursa is here, and that image of you is on top of it, because somewhere deep inside, you hate yourself because of what happened in Ponyville." She bowed her head. "Because it showed you what you thought was the truth."
Trixie arched an eyebrow. "Did it, now."
"It showed you that you really weren't as great and powerful as you said you were," Twilight said, "and it ruined everything about you, in front of the same crowd you'd boasted to before. And then," she closed her eyes, "and then I made it all worse, by doing what you couldn't do. And it...crystallized everything we've seen here today." She looked around expectantly. "And that is where the Nightmare took root."
The blue unicorn stared back with a look of guarded resentment. "Telling me that I hate myself for being weak doesn't change anything, you know."
The ground shook and another blast of blue light flung the two unicorns apart—and Nightmare Storm landed in the smoldering clearing with a snarl.
"That's because it's true!" she snapped, and her green eyes flashed with contempt for them both. "You hate yourself because you're weak—and you hate her because she's not!" The Nightmare whirled around on Twilight, smoky mane thrashing, a spell charging up her horn. "And that is why you turned to me, little Trixie—because I can make you strong!"
Trixie picked herself up with a grunt. "You didn't make me strong enough to kill her the first time, now did you?" she snapped. Twilight blinked in disbelief, but before she could say anything, Trixie stopped her with a look. "Maybe you didn't make me strong enough because you can't."
Whatever Trixie was trying to do, Twilight slammed her eyes shut as the Nightmare's spell sent her sailing back into a wall, and she decided that it was definitely not working. Nightmare Storm glanced back at Trixie with a cruel smile.
"You should know better than to underestimate the darkness in your heart, little Trixie. The darkness that has always been there. The darkness your precious Twilight Sparkle has seen on display in full, in all its unfathomable blackness."
Trixie stood her ground as the smoke lashed around her. "And she hasn't rejected me."
"Yet."
Twilight seized her chance to leap up and blast Nightmare Storm back with a spell of her own—and then she darted past the reeling black creature and teleported over to Trixie's side, then teleported again, deeper into the ruins, into the darkness.
"Trixie," she said, and put a hoof over her lips before she could say anything, "it's not about how strong or weak anyone is. It really isn't. You have to understand that whether you're a strong magician or not—"
The walls shook and cracked, and bits of the ceiling began to fall; outside, Nightmare Storm roared with fury as she poured magical power into the walls of the building.
Twilight cast a shield around them as the ceiling began to crumble. "It's not about being strong or weak!" she cried. "You have to remember, no matter how strong you are, it doesn't affect how good or bad you are!" A huge rock came down on the shield and splintered; Twilight winced under the blow. "It doesn't affect whether anyone will care about you!" A piercing roar split the air and the entire building shattered under the starry claws of the ghostly Ursa and its spectral rider. Twilight squeezed her eyes shut and fell to the ground. "It doesn't affect whether I love you!"
Trixie and Twilight looked up in shock as the Ursa flung aside the remaining wreckage, lifted its paws back, and brought them down with a roar—and they landed with a crash on Twilight's shield. The purple unicorn ground her teeth as her horn began to burn from exertion, and she struggled to get back up.
"Trixie, when Princess Celestia made me her student, she told me I was the most powerful unicorn she'd ever seen," Twilight groaned; up above, the Ursa pressed down harder. "But that's not why my friends became my friends! They did because they liked me," her legs trembled, "and my power as a unicorn had nothing to do with it!" She cracked open an eye to look at Trixie, through teary, blurry vision. "You're worth more than your magic!"
Only the sound of the Ursa's furious growls could be heard for a moment, as Trixie stared at Twilight, thunderstruck; and then a look of determination darted across her features and she rolled out from under Twilight's shield. Twilight blinked in surprise, but the Ursa lifted its paw—and the purple unicorn collapsed as her shield went out.
"If that's the case," Trixie said, circling around the Ursa slowly, as the monster and its ghostly rider watched her with surprise, "then I guess I don't need it so much after all, do I?"
Nightmare Storm materialized from a cloud of smoke next to Trixie, an amused smirk on her lips. "A magician without any magic, is it?"
Trixie kept her eyes fixed on the Ursa instead. "And I guess if Twilight followed me this far, into the darkest, deepest corners of my mind, and she still likes me," she spared a glance away from the Ursa's eyes, up at the Nightmare, "then you really are unnecessary!"
The amused look on Nightmare Storm's face vanished. Instead, her eyes flashed with rage. "You embraced my power, little Trixie, and as long as I'm here, you know you haven't truly let me go!"
"Oh, shut up!" Trixie smacked a hoof across Nightmare Storm's face and sent the black unicorn reeling in shock. "You've overstayed your welcome, you sorry little storybook villain!" She whipped around to glare up at the Ursa. "And you have been making a mess of things in my psyche for far too long!" The Ursa and its caped rider stared in astonishment. "I have had it with being this helpless little doll! No more! I am moving on—and the first thing to go is you!"
The Ursa reared up in surprise—and then, in a puff of blue smoke, it was gone.
Nightmare Storm's eyes bulged. "What?!"
Twilight blinked. "T-Trixie..."
"I'll never move on if that thing keeps haunting my every step," the blue unicorn snarled—and then she turned around to face Nightmare Storm. "And the same goes for you!"
Nightmare Storm backed up, eyes wide. "You fool! Don't forget who gave you this power—"
"You didn't give me power, you took my power hostage!" Trixie screamed back—and Twilight's jaw dropped as the telltale pink sparks of magic began to form around Trixie's horn. "And now you think you're going to turn me against the one pony who really is on my side? Who really doesn't care how powerful I am or how useful I am? Don't make me laugh, you pathetic little worm!"
"W-Who do you think you are?!" Nightmare Storm roared, and her horn flashed to life with flickering blue sparks—but Twilight saw her trembling legs as she backed away. "Without me, you're nothing! Without me you couldn't do anything against that Ursa!"
Trixie advanced with a scowl. "Without you, I have my magic," she hissed. "Without you, I have my freedom." Her horn glowed, a spell growing at its tip, and Twilight tensed with anticipation as she felt the air crackle with magic. "Without you, I have my identity!" Trixie lowered her head; Nightmare Storm reared up in fear. "Without you, I am the Great and Powerful Trixie!"
Trixie's horn blazed to life and launched a shimmering bolt of pink magic straight into Nightmare Storm's chest. The black unicorn threw back her head and screamed—and then her body fractured, light flooded out from every opening, and Nightmare Storm vanished with a shriek.
And then the ruined city went dark and Twilight and Trixie stood alone in a silent, abandoned ring under a darkened circus tent.
"Wow," Twilight said, "that was a heck of a finish."
Trixie tossed her mane. "You can always trust a showmare to close out a show properly."
The tent fluttered open—and from outside came a shimmering ring of light, rising off the ground out at the corroded gates of the circus.
Twilight and Trixie shared a look. "Well that's nice and obvious," Trixie snorted. Twilight shrugged and started forward—but before she could get far, Trixie put a hoof on her shoulder to stop her. "Um, before we go back," she said, and she smiled hesitantly, "I just wanted to say thank you, Twilight, for coming with me."
Twilight smiled back, and together they walked off into the light.
———
Everything came back in a rush and Twilight had to blink until her vision refocused—and there, stretched before her with tension hanging in the air, was Canterlot's throne room...and all of her friends.
Princess Celestia broke the silence. "Welcome back, you two," she said with a smile.
"TWILIGHT!"
Everything almost went dark again as Twilight bore the brunt of a full-force bone-crushing bear hug from Pinkie Pie. Trixie immediately took refuge behind the purple unicorn as Twilight's friends rushed in.
"Oh my gosh it was so scary you and Trixie were like completely asleep it was crazy it was like you were dead and the princess was all like 'don't worry' and we were all like 'but we're gonna worry anyway' and Rainbow Dash had to go outside for a little bit and—"
"Hey!" yelled Rainbow Dash. "I thought you said we weren't going to talk about that!"
"—and then Princess Cadence was all 'I have faith in Twilight' and Princess Luna was all 'shut up, we're trying to concentrate,' and—"
"I did not!" Luna cried.
Twilight promptly corked Pinkie's mouth with her hoof. "I get it, Pinkie, thanks."
"Did you accomplish your mission?" Celestia asked pointedly.
Everyone went silent, before Trixie hesitantly stepped forward. Her horn lit up and one of the pillows followed her command, drifting through the air. The blue unicorn smiled over at Twilight.
"Mission accomplished," she said.
The relief was palpable—but before anyone could say anything else, Twilight held up a hoof to stop them.
"I really appreciate that everypony was so worried about us," she said, and her smile began to fade as she looked over at Trixie again, "but I think Trixie and I need to have a very long chat. Alone."
Applejack's ears flattened. "B-But ah thought you two got rid of the Nightmare..."
"We did," Twilight answered, "but," she glanced back at Trixie again, "I...I'm really not at liberty to say."
Celestia spread her wings to gain everyone's attention. "I understand," she said with a solemn nod. Twilight and Trixie nodded back, and slowly made their way out of the room, picking their way through the heavy silence. The doors swung shut behind them.
"Um," started Rarity, "this...is a good thing, right?"
Luna looked over inquiringly towards Celestia. "Sister...?"
The solar princess closed her eyes. "It seems my faithful student has learned another lesson."
———
It was well past midnight when the chariot brought Twilight and her friends back to Ponyville. All of them exhausted, it didn't take long for them all to head back home for bed. Spike fell asleep practically before his head hit the pillow. Luna's moon watched over it all—and to Twilight Sparkle, it was a little comforting to see that tangible symbol of the princess in the sky above them, lending them strength.
She would need it.
Twilight and Trixie silently made their way out the library's front door, with Trixie decked out in her starry hat and cape, and two saddlebags underneath. Twilight closed the door as quietly as she could behind them and paused for a moment to look up towards the moon—and prayed for the strength she would need.
"Are you sure you don't want to wait until morning?" she asked, and looked back down at Trixie. "So my friends can see you off?"
Trixie shrugged. "I need all the head start I can get if I'm going to avoid Rainbow Dash killing me for this."
"She is not going to kill you," Twilight said. "We both decided." She looked away. "It's just...more painful than I thought it was going to be."
Trixie looked towards the ground. "I'm sorry."
"I-It's okay," Twilight said, even as the lump in her throat screamed at her that it wasn't. "I understand."
"I have to leave," Trixie said. "I haven't been me, for...months. I spent so long in the forest honing Nightmare Storm's powers, and I spent a long time here too, and," she shook her head, "I have to be out there again. I have to be." She shook her head. "And...I really can't ask you to go with me. Abandon all your friends, all your studying, Spike...I can't ask you to do that, can I?"
Twilight smiled sadly. "You could," she said, "and I would."
"And you'd be miserable."
"Yes, well, being in love makes you do stupid things, I guess."
Trixie looked down again. "I...guess I owe you an answer to your question, then," she said. "When you asked me if I love you. And now that you've gone rooting around inside my mind, I guess you can figure out the answer yourself."
Twilight shook her head. "I saw what makes you who you are," she said, "but you're more than the sum of your parts."
Trixie sniffled. "Well...I...just don't know," she said. "I guess you already know. You have these crazy, intense feelings for me and I don't know what to do. No one's ever really felt this way about me, I guess, and I don't know what to do about that. Because I always thought I really wasn't worth anything, and now that somepony thinks I am, well..." She smiled sadly. "I guess I have to figure that out."
Silence fell over them both as they stared awkwardly at the ground. Twilight finally offered Trixie a sad, teary smile. "I understand, Trixie," she said. "I know. You have to go where you'll be happy," the tears brimmed in her eyes, "even if that's not with me." She wiped them away. "Are you going to come back?"
"I...don't know." Twilight felt another piece of her heart fracture. "I have to decide. But, well...whatever I decide, you'll know."
"I'll know?"
"Somehow. I promise." She gave Twilight another resigned smile. "I told you on the train to Canterlot that I'd never forget what you've done for me. And I won't. But...I just have to go."
Twilight scrubbed away the tears. "I know."
They met for one last hug, and Twilight threw all her effort into trying not to cry as Trixie pulled away with a smile, and then turned around and marched off into the night.
And she made it back inside, and all the way back up to her bed, before she broke down and cried.
———
It wasn't that Rainbow Dash didn't trust Trixie. It was...well, actually, it was that she didn't trust Trixie. Not completely, anyway. And that was totally why, after everyone got home from Canterlot, she paused to take a brief detour towards the library and make sure everything was really okay.
And that was how she found Twilight crying in her bed, and Trixie walking away, towards parts unknown, in her starry cape and hat. And that was why Rainbow Dash zipped over Trixie and landed right in front of her, startling her in the process.
Rainbow fixed Trixie with a serious look. "So I heard Twilight crying up there just now."
Trixie cringed. "Let me guess, you're going to kill me."
It would have been easy to say yes, and make her grovel, and make her march right back into that library and apologize for whatever it was she did to make Twilight cry...and then beat her senseless for making it happen in the first place. But something about the look in the blue unicorn's eye made Rainbow stop.
"Just...just tell me why you're going." She looked at the ground sadly. "Tell me why you're gonna hurt her so much."
"I'm not trying to—"
"But it'll happen anyway," Rainbow said, "whether you like it or not."
Trixie stared back, full of resentment—but somewhere in her eyes was a touch of sadness as well, hidden. "I know." She glanced back at the library, and the resentment disappeared. "That's the worst part."
"So why are you doing this?" Rainbow sat down with a sigh. "That's all I wanna know. And then you can go, and do...whatever. I don't know. I don't care. I just want to know why." She frowned. "Was this something you saw during that dream walking spell?"
"You could say that."
"So it's something you can't tell me?"
"You...could also say that."
Rainbow's ears flattened. "So what you're really saying here is," she swallowed, "I have to decide if I really trust you or not."
Trixie blinked. "Excuse me?"
"Because I get that you and Twilight had some really deep, personal, important stuff going on in there," Rainbow went on, "and it's stuff you wouldn't want anypony—and especially not lil' old me—to know about. I get that." She started to pace around Trixie, slowly. "And yet for months, Twilight has risked her life to save you from getting blown away by the Elements of Harmony—which is what I wanted in the first place. And she went into the depths of your mind to help you root out the Nightmare and destroy it once and for all. And," she came to a stop in front of Trixie, "this is how that all ends?"
Trixie glanced around awkwardly. "I didn't say it was ending."
"Then what's going on here?"
"It's...complicated." Trixie nodded to herself. "Complicated, yes. Look, I don't really know that much about you, so maybe I'm just taking a stab in the dark here, but...how would you feel if you broke your wings? Really badly, and you couldn't fly for months?"
Rainbow grimaced at the very thought. "Horrible."
"But then, as you're sitting there waiting for your wings to heal, you discover things about yourself that you never knew—"
Rainbow squirmed as she thought back to that whole "reading" incident. This was getting a little too real for comfort. "Okay, I get it."
"Do you?"
"Well, yeah. You couldn't do your magic for a long time, and now that it's back, you have to go on the road and get back to it."
"And," Trixie added, with a glance towards the library, "I can't very well ask Twilight to come along, because we both know she would be miserable, being separated from her studies—and from all of you." She fixed Rainbow with a serious look. "And I am not willing to do that. Not after she risked her life to save me from that Nightmare, and not after all she's done for me."
Rainbow's gaze fell towards the ground. "Okay," she said, "but, y'know, I don't really know why, but she really did love you. She must have, if she did all that stuff for you. And, y'know...I don't want you to forget that."
Trixie closed her eyes as she brushed past Rainbow Dash. "I know. That's why I'm leaving."
"Because you don't feel the same way?"
The blue unicorn spared one last glance towards Rainbow. "Because I need to find out."
And with that, Trixie headed off into the night. Rainbow Dash watched her go until she disappeared down the road. She looked back up at Twilight, and thought for a moment about what Trixie had said. She looked down at the dirt road, and noticed a trail of teardrops in the dust.
Rainbow looked back up towards the road, stretching on into darkness. "I guess that's punishment enough," she mumbled, and took to the sky with a heavy heart for home.
———
Applejack expected Twilight and Trixie to want to spend a lot of time together after they got back from Canterlot. It was only fair, after all. They'd gone through this crazy magic mind-reading spell or whatever and they probably had all kinds of issues to work through and, really, maybe all they wanted to do was just cuddle. Whatever. Applejack wasn't going to judge.
But three days was kind of unreasonable. Even so, at least it made some sense...but they'd seen Spike out and about the past few days and he'd made an obvious effort to avoid Twilight's friends, and that was just plain weird. And so Applejack had Pinkie Pie, Rainbow Dash, Fluttershy, and Rarity gathered at the gate to Sweet Apple Acres for a rescue mission.
"I think they need a party," Pinkie Pie declared.
"Darling, please, they've just gone through a very rough emotional event," Rarity scoffed, "we really should give them some space."
"Then how come Spike's avoidin' us?" grumbled Applejack.
"I-I vote for space," Fluttershy squeaked.
Off to the side, Rainbow Dash said nothing. All eyes turned towards her. "What?" she asked.
"Don't you have any thoughts on this?" Rarity pressed. Rainbow rolled her eyes.
"No."
Rarity arched an eyebrow. "Weren't you the one who threatened to break every bone in Trixie's body if she ever made Twilight cry?"
"Yeah, but," Rainbow shuffled her hooves, "it's complicated."
"Well, we gotta do somethin'," Applejack said. "'cuz ah dunno about y'all but ah'm startin' to miss our Twi."
"Why Applejack, I never knew you cared."
Immediately everyone jumped in shock at Twilight Sparkle, standing behind them with a satisfied smirk. But as Applejack landed, she noticed the tired look, the rings under her eyes. "Holy cow, Twi, you look like death warmed over."
Twilight arched an eyebrow. "Thanks."
"Wait a minute," Applejack added, "where's Trixie?"
Twilight smiled as she looked down at the ground—and the sadness in her eyes made Applejack cringe at the feeling of dread creeping up her throat. "Trixie's gone," said Twilight.
Four jaws dropped open. "Gone?!" Rarity cried.
"What—why?!" Pinkie yelled. "Why on earth would she leave?! I thought you two fixed everything!"
"W-Wait," Fluttershy said, "you saved the world and then you broke up?"
Twilight winced at the sound of Fluttershy's words. "Sounds like a real bummer when you put it that way."
Pinkie almost seemed to deflate like a balloon. "Wow, this is the exact opposite of an occasion for throwing a party."
"W-Why would she leave?!" Applejack exclaimed. "What the hay happened?! Ah thought you two had things worked out!"
"We did," Twilight said, and she looked back up at her friends with a look of resignation, "and I really can't tell you what happened. It's not my place to tell you those things."
Twilight's friends shared an awkward, guilty look. "Of course, darling," Rarity said, "but things seemed to be going so well, and..." She blinked in surprise, and then looked over at Rainbow Dash, standing there awkwardly and trying to look inconspicuous. "Wait a minute, I was expecting a much more animated reaction out of you, darling."
"And a lot more threats!" chirped Pinkie.
Rainbow hung her head in defeat. "Well, uh, the night we all got back, I kind of ran into Trixie as she was leaving."
Twilight arched an eyebrow as the other four made numerous responses of shock. "You did?!" cried Applejack. "And...you let her go?"
"Alive?" Fluttershy added quietly.
"What did she say?" Rarity asked.
Rainbow glanced over at Twilight and shrugged. "That she had to," she said. "And...I guess that's all I can really tell you. It was personal."
Twilight smiled. "If it was good enough to keep Rainbow from pulverizing her," she said, "I think it should be good enough for everyone."
Rarity sighed sadly. "Oh, Twilight, you must be so lonely now."
The purple unicorn smiled again—but this time there was no sadness. "I was," she said, "which is why I came to find you girls. And," she looked back up at them, "I think I owe you all an apology. Because I've been so caught up with all this being-in-love and gotta-save-Trixie stuff that I forgot that my own friends were there for me. Even if they couldn't go with me into the biggest challenges."
Pinkie Pie immediately bounced over and threw her arms around Twilight. "Don't be silly!" she chirped. "You fell in love! That entitles anypony to be crazy and silly."
Twilight grinned as her friends descended around her for a much-needed group hug. "Well, broken heart or not," Rarity said soothingly, "we will always be here for you, Twilight."
"And I guess I won't go kill Trixie," Rainbow added reluctantly.
"Wait," Pinkie added, "okay, so Twilight and Trixie breaking up is a pretty lousy reason to throw a party—"
"I didn't say we were breaking up," Twilight piped up.
"—but we're all still friends, and that is like the super duper awesomest bestest reason to throw a party ever!" She rocketed out of the group hug, every limb flailing in midair. "OMIGOSH everypony wait here this is really short notice but I will get the best cake ever!" And with an indescribable blur of pink, she rocketed off towards Sugarcube Corner.
Applejack looked back towards Twilight. The sadness was still in her eyes, but it was fading—and so did the dread in Applejack's heart. She had no idea what happened between Twilight and Trixie, and maybe she never would. But if her friend could still find happiness, then that would be worth it.
And probably reason enough not to go crush Trixie...because, truth be told, Trixie probably didn't really deserve it either.
———
A Pinkie Pie party was probably just what she needed, and Twilight Sparkle slowly made her way back to the library as night fell with a belly full of cupcakes and pie and cake and other sugary substances. And it was good to just enjoy the company of her friends again, without worrying about having to moderate fights between them and Trixie—and without them fretting over her sharing her house with a pony that was also intermittently possessed by a snarling demon of darkness and hatred. She owed that to them, and much more. Even at the most dire points, they had never gone behind her back. And that was how she knew just how important they were.
As she plodded up the stairs and rather regretted that last piece of angel cake, she deposited a soundly sleeping Spike in his basket, and drew the blanket over him. She had owed him an outing like this too, and more—and it only began with him watching the library for most of the day. More than ever, she could scarcely imagine how she could get on without him.
She glanced over at her desk, and the piles of books and papers surrounding it. If she weren't so tired and full of food, it would have bothered her to see her workspace in such frightening disarray. And indeed, Trixie and the Nightmares had taken their toll on her work. She was far behind. The Princess had given her many assignments, and her research had fallen drastically off schedule.
But that could wait until tomorrow. Anyway, it would have no choice but to wait until tomorrow, as Twilight trudged over to her bed.
She paused and glanced out the window, into the sparkling stars in the night sky. She had her friends, she had her home, she had her mentors and family...but somewhere out there was Trixie, the mare into whom she'd poured her heart and soul, for reasons she still didn't quite understand. And for all that, love was still as mysterious to her as it had been on that fateful night she'd strolled into the Everfree Forest.
Twilight paused. That wasn't quite true; there was much about love that she understood all too well now. Perhaps the real mystery was her specific relationship, and some part of her itched to figure it out.
The other part, though, had a more important question. Twilight walked over to the window and gazed out over the dark roads of Ponyville. That was a more important question...but somehow, someday, she would have her answer.
———