Rainbow Dash ta tha Rescue biaatch!
A certain cyan mare wit rainbow mane was makin her way down tha main street of Canterlot, dat shiznit was early up in tha afternoon, tha sun shined its radiant rays across tha land. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rainbow Dash had received summons from tha Supa-Hoe her muthafuckin ass muthafucka!
”I wonder what tha fuck it could be?” Biatch thought fo' realz. As she flew all up in tha hood, she noticed dat tha streets was surprisingly empty fo' tha capital of Equestria.
“Where tha hay is everypony,” Biatch holla'd aloud, “It’s Friday, there has ta be suttin' ta do!” Rainbow could swear her big-ass booty saw ponies peerin outta tha windows, buckwild smilez plastered on they muzzles.
”I bet they’re just buckwild bout seein mah dirty ass.” Biatch shook it off n' flew fasta toward tha castle. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch wasn’t goin ta let all dem empty streets fuck up her summons from tha Princess.
As Rainbow neared tha castle, her big-ass booty slowed her approach n' done cooked up a precision landin directly up in front of tha main gate. Da guardz opened tha door, they stoic faces not changin as dat biiiiatch went all up in tha gate fo' realz. As dat biiiiatch strutted all up in tha hall, dat freaky freaky biatch heard a gangbangin' familiar chuckle echo all up in tha building.
“Why wassup there, Rainbow Dash! How’s tha ghetto been treatin yo slick ass?” Da voice holla'd before its balla teleported up in front of her wit a gangbangin' flash of spiralin magenta n' purple. Da Draconequus stood up in front of tha cyan Pegasus while munchin on a strawberry Pop-Tart.
“Discord, biatch? What do you want, biatch? Can’t you tell I gotta peep tha Princess?” Rainbow stated wit irritation as dat dunkadelic hoe tapped her hoof impatiently on tha floor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Even if da thug was a phat playa now, her big-ass booty still didn’t like rappin' wit tha mismatched creature fo' realz. At her insult, Discord snapped his cold-ass talons, n' tha Pop-Tart was gone, he looked back at her incredulously.
“Oh Rainbow Dash, biatch? Can’t we be playaz now, I’ve turned over a freshly smoked up leaf,” da perved-out muthafucka stated as a leaf wit his wild lil' grill imprinted on it landed on her nose, tha leaf then spoke, “Or is you just goin ta break off tha cold treatment?” Da leaf disappeared, n' frozen block of ice wit Discord inside sat up in front of her muthafuckin ass.
“Ugh, I don’t have time fo' this muthafucka! I need ta peep tha Princess!” Rainbow took off n' flew towardz tha throne room. ignorin tha frozen Discord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude chuckled fo' all dem seconds, causin tha ice ta crack, shake n' rattle, before da perved-out muthafucka suddenly broke free.
“With what’s planned Dashie, I don’t be thinkin you want to.” Dude stated wit a sly grin before teleportin up wit with a funky-ass burst of confetti, bustin up away as da ruffneck done did.
Rainbow Dash sped down tha hall, dat biiiiatch was utterly focused on reachin tha Princess, as she raced down tha corridor, dat thugged-out biiiatch could peep tha entrizzle ta tha throne room, she landed all dem feet from tha doorway n' skidded ta a halt. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch then trotted tha fuck into tha room up in da most thugged-out phat way possible. Da Guardz peeped wit tha same expression as always. While Celestia’s grill still flossed tha warm smile it always done did. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Though it seemed a lil wider than normal. It aint nuthin but tha nick nack patty wack, I still gots tha bigger sack. When dat biiiiatch was all dem feet from tha throne, she kneeled, then Celestia spoke.
“Greetings, mah lil pony. Yo ass must be wonderin why you done been summoned here,” Biatch holla'd, while lookin down at Rainbow. When she nodded, Celestia continued, “I gots a straight-up blingin task dat only you can complete, Rainbow Dash.” Rainbow perked up at dem lyrics.
“A task dat only I can complete biaaatch! What tha fuck iz it son! This is so phat!” Rainbow Dash nearly blew up like a muthafucka up in happinizz on tha spot yo, but she managed ta hold her enthusiazzle in, she looked back ta Celestia, waitin fo' her orders.
“Come wit me, Rainbow Dash, our crazy asses have much ta do.” her big-ass booty holla'd, as dat freaky freaky biatch hustled Rainbow down a cold-ass lil corridor, before stoppin at a marble pillar. Shiiit, dis aint no joke. Rainbow was perplexed at this, n' turned her head toward Celestia.
“Princess, why did we stop here, biatch? It’s just a pillar.” Biatch looked back ta tha pillar, she leaned forward ta examine it further, before tha Supa-Hoe pulled her back wit her magic.
“This is no ordinary pillar Rainbow Dash, it leadz ta a secret area up in tha castle, just peep mah dirty ass.” Celestia’s horn glowed a funky-ass solid gold color, before tha pillar slid back against tha wall, revealin a secret passageway dat looked like it had been recently used. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Rainbow’s eyes was wide as dinner plates, dat dunkadelic hoe turned ta Celestia again, n' tugged on her foreleg like a gangbangin' foal tryin ta git they mother’s attention.
“S-secret passageway?! There’s a secret passageway up in tha castle biaaatch! That’s so cool! But what tha fuck is it for?” Biatch asked, peerin down tha dimly lit passage. Celestia smiled again.
“It’s fo' use up in emergencies, up in case tha castle be attacked, ponies can flee down tha fuck into tha undercroft of tha castle, as it is hard as fuck ta infiltrate, n' even mo' so ta find.” Biatch calmly stepped down tha stairs, n' beckoned fo' Rainbow ta follow her, tha cyan mare nodded n' quickly followed her tha fuck into tha depths. Once they was far enough down, tha pillar slid back tha fuck into it’s original gangsta position, hidin tha stairway from pryin eyes once more.
A navy blue pony paced round a cold-ass lil circular room, a staircase could be peeped up in tha back fo' realz. And another hallway was across tha room from dat shit. Da room itself was lightly furnished, tha floors n' walls was made of a thugged-out darker gray stone than tha castle above. There was nuff muthafuckin lil' small-ass tables, n' a big-ass sofa. Da mare ceased her pacing, n' stamped her hoof, which was adorned wit a light blue, gilded slipper n' shit. This mare was Luna, bizzatch of tha night, whoz ass all up in tha moment sounded mad salty n' impatient.
“Where is dem two, biatch? Tia’ was supposed ta arrive 5 minutes ago! And where is dat Draconequus muthafucka! He’s even later than she is muthafucka! We need ta be locked n loaded fo' tha Element of Loyalty as soon as she arrives!” As she finished bustin lyrics, tha furniture up in tha room came ta game, n' rearranged itself, a echoin voice could be heard.
“Yo ass called, Lulu, biatch? Yo ass know I’m always reining up in tha ideas. ” Discord materialised above her, before landin on Luna’s back, bustin a jockey’s tracksuit, he pulled reins over her muzzle, n' kicked his wild lil' feet tha fuck into her sides yo. Dude was bout ta drop a rhyme when a thugged-out dark blue glow enveloped him, n' da thug was violently ripped from tha Night Princess’ back, n' busted hurtlin tha fuck into tha corridor. Shiiit, dis aint no joke.
*CRASH*
“I’m ok!” His voice yelled out, before da thug strutted back up in tha room wit a cold-ass lil cardboard box hangin on his cold-ass tail n' a antenna on his head. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Dude snapped his cold-ass talons, causin dem ta disappear, n' plopped onto a cold-ass lil couch, causin it ta levitate n' flip upside down wit his ass chillin on dat shit. Luna grit her teeth n' looked up at his muthafuckin ass.
“Did yo dirty ass at least brang tha costume?” Biatch scowled at his ass as da thug waved his fuckin lion paw.
“Of course I brought tha costume biaaatch! I may be a ‘Lord of Chaos’ yo, but I never forget tha props!” Discord holla'd as da perved-out muthafucka snapped his cold-ass talons once more, causin a large, almost pony sized Pop-Tart costume ta blink tha fuck into existence under his thugged-out lil' paw. Luna snorted, n' looked all up in tha costume. Dat shiznit was big-ass enough ta fit over a pony’s body. Well shiiiit, it had pink frostin wit lil' small-ass holez fo' tha arms, legs, wings, head n' tail of tha wearer n' shit. Now dat wearer just needed ta arrive.
“Honestly Discord, where do you n' Celestia come up wit these thangs?” Biatch axed wit a irritated tone, which belied her legit thoughts, dat biiiiatch was straight-up curious bout dis plan of theirs. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch wondered how tha fuck it would all come together.
“You’ll peep what tha fuck dis be all bout once Celestia gets here, Lulu.” Dude mocked, Luna was bout ta throw his ass up again, before dat biiiiatch was interrupted by hoofsteps comin from tha staircase. They both stared up in tha direction of tha sound, until surely enough, Celestia arrived wit Rainbow Dash up in tow. Rainbow bowed before Luna, n' looked up at Discord. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
“Discord hommie biaaatch! What’s da ruffneck doin’ here!?” Biatch glared at him, locked n loaded ta protect tha mackdaddydom. Discord stifled a laugh.
“Oh, please, just chillax, Rainbow Dash.” Discord tapped her chest wit his thugged-out lil' paw, knockin her onto a pillow. “I’m only here ta help yo' ’Princesses’.” Rainbow quickly gots back ta her hooves again, n' glowered at Discord, whoz ass ignored her n' shit. Celestia unfurled her win n' held it up in front of tha angered pegasus.
“There is no need fo' conflict Rainbow Dash, our crazy asses gotz a much mo' blingin task at hoof.” Biatch levitated tha costume ta Rainbow, whoz ass took it gingerly up in her hooves. Right back up in yo muthafuckin ass. Biatch turned ta her n' cocked a eyebrow.
“What’s dis for, biatch? I thought dis was blingin?” Biatch looked at Celestia, whoz ass surprisingly was beginnin ta look nervous.
“Well Rainbow Dash, you need wear dat costume to,” dat dunkadelic hoe trailed off, cursin her muthafuckin ass fo' forgettin ta come up wit a reason, “to save a freshly smoked up type of pony!” Discord butted up in quickly, before gesturin ta Luna. Dum diddy-dum, here I come biaaatch! Who tha fuck looked back at him, just as confused.
“What kind of ponies?” Rainbow narrowed her eyes all up in tha three immortals. Before Luna quickly piped in, “Uh, Nordic, Floam Ponies muthafucka! That’s right son! Nordic Floam Ponies muthafucka! They need yo' help Rainbow Dash!” Biatch put on her most convincin smile, which caused Rainbow ta cringe.
“How tha fuck come I haven’t heard of em’?” Biatch narrowed her eyes further n' shit. Before Celestia added, “because, they’re land has been cursed until recently dawwwwg! For uh, a thousand years!” Biatch put on a warm smile, which seemed ta do tha trick. Until Rainbow axed another question.
“Why do I need ta wear dis costume then, biatch? I can kick nuff booty without it!” Biatch stood on her rear hoofs n' made punchin gestures. Discord was quick ta answer her question.
“Because Rainbow, only tha ancient element of Nyan can save tha Nordic Ga-I mean Floam ponies fo' realz. And up in order ta channel its power, you must wear dat costume.” Dude stated matter of factly, almost burstin tha fuck into laughter n' shit. Rainbow nodded.
“If I gotta wear dis up in order ta save dem ponies, then I will!” Biatch quickly slid tha costume on, a slick fit. Celestia could barely hold her laughter up in as she put it on, even Luna was havin shiznit stoppin her laughter n' shit. Rainbow Dash stood heroically up in front of tha three, a lil' small-ass light shinin from behind her dat didn’t seem ta git a source.
“How tha fuck do I look, pretty phat, right?” Biatch holla'd, a cold-ass lil Kool & Tha Gang grin on her face. “Yo ass look straight-up dashing.” Discord stated, stiflin his chuckles. Celestia n' Luna held up in laughs before Celestia continued. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
“Yes, you look like sweet.” her big-ass booty holla'd, Discord flung his dirty ass all up in tha wall, holdin up in mo' laughs, while whoopin it wit his thugged-out lil' paw, while Luna nearly guffawed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka!
“Yes, you look filled ta tha brim wit confidence!” Luna managed ta say, causin Discord n' Celestia ta stifle they laughs
even harder n' shit. Rainbow gave no notice, n' instead looked round tha room.
“So how tha fuck do I git ta they land Princess?” Rainbow asked, Celestia cleared all signz of laughter from her face, n' spoke, "Yo ass must enter a portal, which Luna n' I can open, you must also shout tha ‘Nyan’ chant.”
Bitch spoke, havin recovered from tha laughter, Discord n' Luna stood behind her, havin composed theyselves as well. Discord n' Luna stepped forward.
“Rainbow Dash, I shall open tha portal fo' you, Discord shall teach you tha chant.”
“Ok, I’ve gots tha chant down, is dat portal opened yet?” Axed a impatient Rainbow Dash. Luna looked ta her n' nodded, a lil' small-ass blue circular hole up in tha air sat up in tha center of tha room. Discord gave her two thumbs up, n' dat dunkadelic hoe took off tha fuck into tha hole while chantin ‘Nyan’ up in tha pattern n' pitch Discord had taught her n' shit. Once tha portal closed, a lil' small-ass crystal displayed a magical screen, which as soon as it fuckin started display, set tha three immortals tha fuck into a gangbangin' fit of laughter dat would last fo' hours. Thunderous laughter could be heard from tha hood above, as tha Canterlot mega-screen displayed ’Nyan Dash’ as one pony called her n' shit. Rainbow had even taken it mo' betta than expected as well, tha publicitizzle makin her even mo' phat.
A few minutes later...
Discord lay on tha couch, dat schmoooove muthafucka had a funky-ass bugged out expression on his wild lil' face, n' a laptop from tha human ghetto chillin up in front of him, da thug was browsin dat joint tha humans called “Youtube”, tryin ta find suttin' bangin-ass ta watch fo' realz. A wireless router floated all up in air next ta him, it’s gravitizzle havin been removed. Y'all KNOW dat shit, muthafucka! Written on tha side of it, up in crude marker was “Intur-dimentionizzle Rowter”. Discord clicked a particular vizzle, labeled as a “Harlem Shake”, as he peeped it, he perked up, n' turned his head toward tha staircase.
“Celestia! Yo ass gotta come check dis out!”
THE END