Spike felt as though the whole world had stopped. His ears had heard Rarity’s response perfectly, but his mind couldn’t process it. Surely she didn’t say what he thought she said, that was just unfathomable. There was no way she would’ve said that. Not Rarity, the Element of Generosity.
But as Spike’s face tilted up to meet Rarity’s, the dragons worst fears were confirmed.
“Excuse me?” he managed to choke out through his disbelief. “What part of this seems like a joke to you?” he asked.
Rarity cleared her throat before answering, “Spike...listen to yourself. You couldn’t possibly think you had a chance with me.”
The tip of the blade pierced through the drake’s scales. Impact zone right below his right pectoral muscle.
“I appreciate everything you’ve done, and you’ll make some mare very happy one day.”
The cold steel tastes warm blood as the blade pushes another inch in Spike’s chest, growing closer to its target.
“I don’t want to be with ‘some mare’, I love you!” he argued. “How can you be so cruel?”
“A big reason I kept asking you to help me around the boutique, was because I enjoyed your company. I’m not cruel!” argued back the unicorn.
“I-d-d” stuttered Spike, he took a deep breath before he continued. “How long have you known?” he asked.
“It was kind of obvious Spike, you weren’t very discreet.” answered Rarity, returning to pack her things.
“So you just led me on, when you knew you’d never be with me?” asked Spike, feeling his tears start to return.
Rarity sighed, seemingly annoyed with the whole conversation. “Spike, please try to understand where I’m coming from. I never meant to hurt you and if I did, I’m truly sorry.”
The apology fell on deaf ears, “So what were you trying to do? Get free help from one of your friend’s lackey?!” he asked angrily.
“Spike, please calm down!” pleaded Rarity “I still want to be friends with you.”
The words sent the knife into his heart. His love was gone, and instead replaced with rage.
“Friends?! I have enough friends Rarity, I don’t need anymore friends!” he yelled, pacing back in forth. “Why won’t you love me? Why aren’t I good enough for you?”
Rarity shuffled, “Spike...please-”
“Tell me!” yelled the drake. “You owe me that much...”
Rarity levitated a chair for her to sit in. She sighed, “Spike, I’m planning on becoming an International Fashion designer, what would society think if I were dating a...dragon?”
The way she paused before saying dragon, it was like she was talking about a pile of dung.
“Society?” Spike repeated. “Buck Society!”
Rarity gasped, “Spike! Such language shouldn’t be used in the presence of a lady!” she scolded.
“There are a couple of words I’m thinking of to describe you, ‘lady’ isn’t one of them!” he responded quickly.
Rarity gasped again, before scowling. “Spike...maybe it’s time for you to leave.” she said.
Spike stared into her eyes, Why? he thought. Why would you do this to me? He quickly made his way out of the boutique, slamming the door behind him.
____________________________________________________________________________
Spike quickly wiped the lone tear making its way down his cheek. He returned his attention to the two mares, still marveling from his story.
“Wow...” began Vinyl. “That was horrible.”
Spike gave a sad chuckle, “Yeah...But, it wasn’t meant to be.” he responded.
“Still! She had no right to use you that way!” protested a teary eyed Octavia. “The nerve of some ponies...”
Spike took a seat on the floor, “Don’t worry about it.” he said. “For now we should focus on getting out of here.”
Octavia sighed at the reminder of their predicament. “Anyone have any ideas?” she asked.
The answering silence was unsettling.
“AAH! I can’t take it anymore!” yelled Vinyl. She took a full sprint towards the door in an attempt to tackle it. It failed miserably.
“Ow!” complained the unicorn, rubbing her now sore side. Spike managed to suppress a giggle.
“I wish Twilight was here.” he said. “She always knows what to do." The dragon’s eye twitched at a sudden realization, “Oh man, I was supposed to be home by midnight! She’s probably freaking out!” he yelled.
Octavia sighed, “I’m sure getting foal napped will be a legitimate excuse.” she assured. Spike’s expression told her that he wasn’t convinced. “We’re doomed, aren’t we?” she asked, face hoofing.
Spike stared blankly at the ground, he couldn’t think of a single way out of their situation.
“What time do you think it is?” asked Vinyl, interrupting his thoughts.
Spike shrugged, “I’m not sure how long we were unconscious.” he said. “For all we know it could be morning all ready.”
“You think anyone will notice that we’re gone?” asked Vinyl.
______________________________________________________________________________
KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK!
Rainbow Dash opened one eye, flinching at the sound of every THUMP at the door.
She glanced at the clock on her nightstand, It’s 5 in the morning! Somepony better be dying! she thought as she climbed out of bed.
The Pegasus lazily glided down the steps and towards the door of her cottage, still being abused with frantic hooves.
She opened the door to be greeted by an obviously flustered Twilight. The unicorn’s hair was unkempt and her eyes were red from staying up all night. The mare had knocked on the door so fast she was having a tough time trying to catch her breath.
“Rainbow! Spike isn’t home yet, I think he may have been foal napped!” she yelled in between pants.
Rainbow Dash face hoofed, “Seriously? You woke me up for that!?” asked the Pegasus angrily. “I thought it as something important.”
“This is important!” debated the unicorn. “Something could have happened to him! He might be rotting in a cell as we speak!”
Rainbow Dash sighed, “He wasn’t foal napped.” answered the Pegasus calmly.
Twilight gave her a unconvinced look, “How do you know?” she asked.
“Listen Twilight, Spike probably just got lucky.” suggested Rainbow.
“How is getting foal napped lucky?” asked Twilight.
“Nooo, he got lucky” she repeated, giving her friend a playful punch. “Ya know, he scored?”
Twilight raised an eyebrow, earning another face hoof from her cyan friend.
“Spike is getting some, ya know?” asked the Pegasus. “Cleaning the gutters? Solving the puzzle? Trojan Horsing?”
There was a pause.
“Is this slang?” asked Twilight. “I’m not familiar with much slang.”
Rainbow’s eye twitched, “Oh for the love of-HE’S RUTTING!” she yelled. “SPIKE IS HAVING SEX!”
Twilight’s eyes widened, her cheeks blushed violently. “B-B-But, he’s only a baby dragon!” she squealed.
“I don’t know if you noticed, but Spike has grown a lot over the years Twi. He’s an adult by pony standards.” responded Rainbow in an attempt to calm her friend down.
Twilight sighed, “Are you sure you’re right?” she asked. “I have a really bad feeling he’s in trouble.”
“No need to worry Twilight, Vinyl is infamous for taking it all the way on the first date. That’s why I set Spike up with her.” insured the Pegasus.
Twilight scowled, “What do you mean?” she asked through clenched teeth.
Rainbow gulped, “Err...I figured a good screwing would get Spike’s mind off of Rarity...” she answered sheepishly.
“SO YOU SET HIM UP WITH SOME RANDOM FLOOZY!?” yelled the lavender mare.
Rainbow took a step back into her house, “Heh...it sounded like a good idea at the time.” she answered sheepishly. Twilight advanced towards her with a glowing horn.
The Pegasus's screams could be heard throughout Ponyville.
______________________________________________________________________________
“I’m thinking of.....something loud!”
“Is it Dubtrot?” guessed Spike.
“Aww, how did you know?” asked Vinyl. “Okay fine, I’m thinking of something.....awesome!”
“Is it Dubtrot?” asked Octavia, getting annoyed by the second.
“Dang! Alright, I’m thinking of something...epic!” said Vinyl.
“Dubtrot?” guessed Spike again.
“Wow! You guys are good at this!” exclaimed Vinyl.
“Maybe you should think of something else besides STINKIN’ DUBTROT!” yelled Octavia angrily.
Vinyl frowned, “Fine! I’m thinking of something annoying!” she replied, looking directly at the cellist.
“Oh yeah?” asked Octavia, taking a step towards the deejay. “Well I’m thinking of something obnoxious!”
It was Vinyl’s turn to take a step forward, “Well I’m thinking of something snobby!” she yelled, inching closer.
Spike watched from the sidelines, rolling his eyes at every insult. It’s like a broken record with these two! he thought. If we don’t get out of here soon, my head’s gonna explode from frustration!
“SO,” yelled Spike, interrupting the quarreling mares. “How did you two meet anyhow? Doesn’t seem like you’d be the best of friends.”
Octavia sighed, “We met in college, actually.” she explained, before sticking her tongue out at Vinyl.
“College?” asked Spike, “I didn’t know Ponyville had a college.”
“It doesn’t...” responded Vinyl. “We both went to the University of Manehattan.” The unicorn smiled, “Those university days were the best.” she said, longing for the nostalgia.
Octavia also smiled, before frowning towards Vinyl. “Yeah, it was back when you actually cared about our relationship!” she bellowed.
Spike rubbed his temple, “Yeah about that, why exactly did you two break up?” he asked.
Vinyl shoved a hoof towards Octavia, “Ms. Control Freak over here tried to make my life as boring as her’s!” she yelled.
Octavia scowled, “Maybe if Vinyl wasn’t so uncivilized, our relationship would have worked.” she said. “She had a between me and partying, it’s obvious what she chose.” Spike heard her voice break towards the end of her sentence.
“A choice? You were asking me to go against my Cutie Mark! What was I supposed to do?” asked Vinyl, inching closer to Octavia. Spike heard her voice breaking as well, it pained him to see the two mares sad.
The dragon stood up, Time for all of those stupid psychology books Twilight made me read to pay of. he thought. “Maybe you two really just misunderstood each other.” he suggested.
Octavia raised an eyebrow, “What do you mean?” she asked.
“Well, Vinyl thinks that you wanted to change her into something she’s not. Is that true?” asked the dragon.
“Celestia no!” replied the cellist. “Although she’s rough around the edges, her personality is what makes her special.” she said, smiling towards Vinyl. The unicorn turned away, blushing at Octavia’s smile.
Spike smiled as well, relieved to see the little progress he was making. This therapist stuff was easier than he thought. “And Vinyl, Octavia believes you care more about partying than you do about her. Is that true?” he asked.
“No way dude!” responded Vinyl. “Octavia is important to me, even more important than Dubtrot....and that means a lot!” she yelled. It was Octavia’s turn to blush.
Spike sat back down and looked toward the cell ceiling. He sighed, “You guys were lucky enough to find true love.” he said staring off into space. “Believe me when I tell you that I know what it’s like to feel under appreciated.”
“But you helped save the world a bunch of times!” pointed out Vinyl. “You’re insanely appreciated.”
Spike sighed, “Yeah, but.... It just feels like....I don’t know, it’s hard to explain.” he said. “It’s like, if my life was a T.V. show, I’d be a talking dog or some other bad cliché. I’m not really important in the long run.” The dragon looked towards the two mares, “Make sure you don’t lose what is important to you.”
Octavia took Vinyl’s hoof into her own. “He’s right Vinyl, I apologize for trying to change you.” she said.
“No...It’s my fault.” admitted the unicorn. “I went a little too far with my partying...” she said, removing her goggles yet again. The water gathering in her eye combined with the angle of the light, made her burgundy eyes sparkle. As well as making Octavia’s heart melt.
The two shared a hug.
Spike gently banged his head against the wall.So much for the date I guess.... he thought. Despite his bad luck with the mares, he was happy the two mares were reunited. Vinyl noticed Spike by himself,
“You get over here too.” she said, levitating Spike over for a group hug.
KRATCH!
The sound of metal against metal interrupted their embrace. The large metal door slowly started to open.
______________________________________________________________________________
Rainbow Dash angrily trudged through the cold air towards the Ponyville Guard Station. Her flank was still sore from her purple unicorn friend’s reprimanding.
“Geez Twilight, you didn’t need to attack me!” she said.
Twilight trotted next to her, rolling her eyes at her friend’s complaining. “For the tenth time Dash, I’m sorry.” she said. “It is your fault for putting Spike in danger, ya know.”
“Hey, I was trying to help him out.” she stumbled on a rock. “Dang it! Why is the station so far away?”
“I don’t know mayb- Hey! Is that my brother?”
Rainbow Dash and Twilight looked towards the Guard Station, sure enough, Shining Armor stood there giving orders to other troops. The captain caught a glimpse of his sister.
“Twiley?” he asked in confusion. The unicorn ran up to him and gave a quick hug.
“What are you doing here?” she asked.
Shining Armor removed his helm, “My troops and I are helping the Ponyville Guard with a bust.” he said.
“A bust?” asked Rainbow Dash. “Who are they trying to catch?”
“His name is Luigi Soprano,” explained Shining. “He’s an important head in the Unicorn Mafia.”
“The Unicorn Mafia?” asked Twilight. “What’s he doing in Ponyville?”
Shining Armor sighed, “He was nearly caught at a drug raid in Manehattan, he fled to Ponyville to escape capture.”
“I still don’t understand, why would he come to Ponyville?” asked Twilight.
“Well, this was honestly one of the last places we would look for the guy.” said Shining. “In fact, the only reason we found out he was here, was because of a tip from a marefriend of one of his lackeys.” Shining put a hoof to his face in thought, “You may know her actually, I think her name was....Vinyl Scratch?”
Both Rainbow and Twilights’ faces went deathly pale.
“Vinyl Scratch?” asked Rainbow Dash. “As in, the deejay?”
“Yeah that’s her,” said Shining. He noticed their shocked expressions, “What’s wrong?”
“Rainbow Dash!” yelled a now flustered Twilight. “You set Spike up with a mob member’s ex marefriend!?” she asked.
“I swear I didn’t know!” yelled Rainbow Dash.
“Wait a second,” interrupted Shining. “Spike’s on a date with this mare?” he asked.
“Yes!” yelled Twilight. “He left with her last night and I have no idea where he is!”
Just then, a guardspony walked up to Shining.
“Sir!” he said with a salute. “We have orders to move out in exactly 30 seconds, sir!”
Shining cursed under his breath, “I’m really sorry Twiley, I wish I could help but I’m head of this operation.” He sighed, “I promise to send some troops to the library after we’re done,” he kissed her on the forehead. “Be safe and stay indoors.”
Shining turned towards his soldiers, “PREPARE TO MOVE OUT!" he yelled, trotting away from Twilight.
The purple mare gave a defeated sigh, Rainbow Dash clicked her teeth in annoyance.
"What now?" asked the Pegasus. Twilight thought for a moment.
"We're going to have to save Spike by ourselves," she said. "And I have a plan!"
______________________________________________________________________________
Two huge unicorn stallions stood through the open door with angry eyes. Immediately, Vinyl rushed one an attempt to make an escape. Unfortunately, the stallion easily shrugged her attack off. The other stallion then started to levitate the trio up and out of the room.
"Hey! Put me down you ruffian!" yelled Octavia, trapped in the unicorn's aura.
Vinyl tried to levitate herself out, but the stallion's magic was way more powerful than her's. Spike squirmed with all his might, but he too wasn't able to escape the spell.
The three were carried up a flight of stairs and into a brightly lit room. The room was decorated in extremely gaudy decorations and furniture. Paintings of various landscapes lined the wall, and a huge crystal chandelier illuminated a yellowish glow that strained Spike's eyes. Towards the back of the room was a huge golden throne, dazzled with many fine diamonds and gems. The room was also filled with unicorn stallions who looked eerily similar to the two that had brought them up.
The unicorn stallion suddenly stopped his spell, dropping the three on their faces.
"Ow!" exclaimed Vinyl, rubbing her cheek. "You really could've gave us a warning!" she yelled.
The stallion remained silent, and instead levitated a large amount of rope towards them.
"Hey! What the heck are you doing?!" asked Spike as the stallion started to tie him up.
"Hey mister, watch where you put those ropes!" protested Octavia as she was bound.
After the three were properly restrained, they heard the sound of hoof steps behind them.
"Well, well, well, look what the cat brought in!" said a familiar voice behind them.
Neon Lights slowly walked into their view with a smug look on his face.
"Neon!" yelled Vinyl with venom in her voice. "Let us go you bastard!"
Neon scoffed, "What's wrong Vinyl? You used to like being tied up when we were together." he asked.
Various images of Vinyl and Neon in some weird BDSM getup flashed through Spike's brain.
"As inappropriate as that comment was," started Octavia. "Do you mind explaining why you foal napped us?" she asked.
Neon turned towards the Earth Pony, "You must be the mare Vinyl left me for." he said. "You can really do so much better than Vinyl, ya know?"
"Hey Captain Douche!" yelled Spike. "What the hay do you want from us?" he asked angrily.
Neon scowled, then delivered a ferocious punch to the drake's face.
"You know damn well what I want!" he yelled. "The credit card that you stole from me!"
"The credit card?" asked Spike, still reeling from the punch.
"Yes, the credit card!" Neon yelled back. "What did you do with it!?"
"Uhh....."
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
I'm gonna get laid! I'm gonna get laid! sung Spike inside his head. The dragon couldn't believe Vinyl had invited him back to her place. Snips and Snails always lied about their success with the mares, Spike couldn't wait to tell them that he had been actually been with one.
The growl of his belly interrupted his fantasies, I can't make sweet, sweet love to Vinyl on an empty stomach! he thought. He glanced around the dark streets of Ponyville for a place of nourishment. Aha! he cheered internally, spotting a 24 hour convenience store.
"I'll be right back Vinyl!" he yelled bolting into the store, not even waiting for the unicorn's response.
The store was incredibly small, and the only source of light was a flickering fluorescent bulb. Spike spotted an apple cart and picked 5 of the plumpest Red Deliciouses he could find. He walked to the cashier to find the worker fast asleep behind the counter.
The dragon cleared his throat, stirring the dark grey Earth Pony from his sleep. The stallion looked at Spike, "Can I help you?" he asked in an almost zombie like tone.
Spike rolled his eyes, "Just the apples," he said annoyed. The cashier looked at Spike's items,
"That'll be 6 bits, sir." he said dryly.
Spike reached into one of his scale pockets, his eyes widened at the realization that that it was empty. He checked the other pocket, it too was empty with the exception of the credit card he stole from Neon.
"Here," he said handing the stallion the card.
The cashier glanced at the card, "I'm sorry sir but cash only." he said plainly.
Spike sighed, "Look...Baritone," he began, reading the colt's name tag. "You can have the card if I can have the apples."
The stallion said nothing, but gave Spike a long unblinking stare.
"Hello?" asked Spike waving a hand in front of him. "Anypony home?"
"Uh...yeah, whatever." finally answered the stallion. He took the card and prepared to go back to sleep.
"O-kay," said Spike, walking out the door with his products.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________
"You traded the credit card for some apples!" yelled Neon in disbelief.
"So that's were you got the apples!" exclaimed Vinyl. "I thought you stole them from a hobo or something."
If Octavia wasn't restrained, she would've face hoofed.
"You stupid dragon," yelled Neon, becoming flustered. "That was Mr. Soprano's credit card! If he finds out I'm the one who stole it, he'll-"
"Kill you?" asked a voice behind Neon.
The stallion from before stepped towards Neon with an angry glare. The smell of his cologne suffocated Spike, it was even stronger now that he was closer.
"M-M-Mr. S-Soprano!" stuttered Neon. "I-I can e-explain!" he squealed.
"No need Neon," said Mr. Soprano calmly. "I've heard quite enough."
"You're not mad?" asked Neon wearily.
They silver maned stallion smiled, "I'm not mad," he said.
Neon sighed in relief.
"I'M ABSOLUTELY LIVID! HOW DARE YOU STEAL FROM ME YOU LITTLE RUNT!? I'LL HAVE YOUR HIDE FOR THIS!" yelled Soprano. Spike watched in amazement how Neon shrunk under the stallion's wrath.
"Psst! Spike!" whispered Octavia. "While they're distracted, use your claw to cut out of these ropes!" she suggested.
Spike mentally slapped himself, why hadn't he thought of that?
The dragon unsheathed one of his claws and began to saw through the rope.
"I'll deal with you later!" yelled Mr. Soprano, finished with chewing out Neon. The young unicorn scurried to a corner of the room with his tale in between his legs.
Mr. Soprano turned towards the trio, "I'm sorry you had to see that." he apologized.
"It's okay," assured Vinyl. "That was hilarious!"
Octavia sighed at her mare friend's cheerful attitude. "If I may ask, who exactly are you?" questioned the mare.
"Oh, where are my manners?" asked Mr. Soprano. "The name's Luigi Soprano, assistant Don of the Unicorn Mafia." he answered.
"The Unicorn Mafia!?" asked Octavia. "Wait, where are we?"
"You are in the basement of our super secret hideout," said Mr. Soprano. "Personally, I'm sorry that Neon got you three all wrapped up in this situation."
For a mob boss, he isn't all that bad... thought Spike, still sawing through the rope.
"So...exactly what are you going to do with us?" asked the drake.
Mr. Soprano put a hoof to his chin in thought, "Well...I'm gonna turn the two mares into glue," he started.
Vinyl and Octavia's' jaws dropped.
"And for you....." he turned towards one of his unicorn mobsters. "How much do you think dragon scales are worth?" he asked him.
"I don't know sir, probably a lot." answered the lackey plainly.
Mr. Soprano turned towards Spike, "Yeah, I'm gonna sell your scales to the Black Market."
Spike gulped, "But...I-I need those scales." he quivered.
Mr. Soprano shrugged, "It's an unfair world kid," he said simply. "Hey Tony! Get these three outta here!" he yelled.
Another large unicorn stallion dragged the three towards another room. "NOOOOO!" cried the trio.
Suddenly a small explosion shook the room. A large amount of smoke filled the small palace, making everypony cough and wheeze in an attempt to get air.
"It's a sting!" yelled one of the Unicorn mobsters. Spike saw a large group of guardspony storming into the room, soon a massive brawl broke out between them and the mobsters.
Seeing as how everypony was distracted, Spike yanked on the half-way torn ropes, freeing himself. Out the corner of the dragon's eye, he saw Neon slip out of a guardspony's grip, and through a back door.
Spike scowled, There's no way I'm gonna let Neon escape! he thought. Summoning the last of his bravery (and shutting off his common sense), Spike jumped over a fighting mobster and after Neon.
"Spike wait!" called Vinyl. "What are you doing!" she asked.
Spike turned his head towards the deejay, making sure to not slow down. "I'm being a bad ass!" he cried over his shoulder.
The door led to a high platform, a acid like green liquid pit bubbled below. On the other side of the walkway was a door, that Neon was trying to open.
"Hey Neon!" yelled Spike. The sharp dressed Unicorn turned around,
"What do you want lizard?" he asked. "If you're here to capture me you're gonna have to kill me, 'cause I ain't goin' back to prison!" he cried.
"I'm here to finish this!" yelled Spike, I always wanted to say that!
Neon smiled, "What another ass whoopin'?" he asked smugly. "Fine, I'll give ya one!"