For the next few minutes I just sat on my bed and watched the world spin around in my head. The memories were violent. They ricocheted inside my skull as I tried to remember how to perform magic. I looked toward the mirror where that monster stood. Those were the hours of denial. My mind couldn’t handle the truth that I could be... a changeling. I sat there, wondering how to get this false “flesh” off of my true form. Its origins transcended my memories, even the new ones that were coming back.
Did I kill this pony? What’s going to happen to me?
“Masquerade...” I mouthed to myself. Masquerade. My head hurt again.
What was this word? No, not a word... a name.
I looked toward the mirror; it split my reflection into several pieces.
My name.
I looked to the hoof that had broken the mirror. There was a large shard of glass protruding from it. I winced at first; I hate anything that causes bloodshed. But a memory came back to me.
Changelings don’t bleed.
At first, this thought gave me peace. I used my mouth to carefully pull the shard out. I assumed that my true form just got another hole in its hoof. Then I remembered the hay, and the glass fell out of my mouth and broke on the floor.
I had a nosebleed then... didn’t I?
In my delusion of being a crystal pony, my mind had spiraled into madness. The line between reality and imagination blurred. In my need for some cemented truth, I turned toward the lantern. The remaining light from within gave me something to concentrate on. I ignored the familiar green light coming from my own forehead. The fuel lifted from the floor and I forced it back inside the lantern with my thoughts. I closed the lantern and set it upon the clean floor. Then I collapsed myself. This magic was harder than I remembered.
It’s simple levitation; why is this so hard? Another memory came back. No... there is a simpler spell...
Fear shook my body and my already aching head, but I turned to the mirror anyways. There was just enough unbroken glass to get a clear view of my face. I took a deep breath and stood up straight. A language almost foreign to me passed through my head, to my horn, then to my body. Then there was a bright flash. I looked into the mirror, and saw those familiar cyan eyes again.
There was no denial this time. But I was not worried about these holes in my hooves or those unfamiliar wings on my back. I simply looked at my horn. My hoof came up to the horn, and I let my memories guide it the entire length of it.
Too short. No wonder my magic feels weaker. I was so much stronger than this before... But what did this to me? What if... it’s still out there?
I needed to run. I needed to leave. My chest pounded, and I wondered if changelings actually had hearts. I looked at the shattered mirror, then to the lantern. My head sunk low as I accepted my fate. I trotted to the lantern and held it close to me, warming my exoskeleton. I waited for the guards to break down the door and take me away.
The knocks started after a few minutes. Then I could hear the pounding on the door, as it matched the pounding in my chest. Then I heard the simple turning of the knob. Even with a changeling in the house, the door remained unlocked.
I looked up to see the bedroom door open. The guards looked down at me with vengeance in their eyes. I could smell their anger. They took my lantern away and dragged me to the prison; I’m not sure why I didn’t move my legs or use my wings. But now I was in the darkness of a jail cell, with plenty of time to try to regain my memories. I tried to avoid memories at first, and simply stared at my shadow on the wall. Somehow my memories found a way through; I decided to try to remember only names this time. It seemed like a good idea at the time. One of them stood out among the others: Chrysalis.
She was my Queen. I chuckled under my breath. I defected so long ago, she doesn’t matter anymore! My head hurt as I tried to contemplate just how long it had been since I was part of a Hive.
Crystal pony voices knocked me out of my thoughts. The guards came to my cell, and with them was a pony whose name I remembered: Shining Armor. A true villain of all changelings, every part of me wanted to take comfort in his presence. The guards’ presence, however, made this difficult. In their custody, my life was in their hooves; there wasn’t a pleasant feeling in the area.
“What should we do with him, your highness?” one of the guards asked Armor.
“This is the ‘ferocious’ changeling?” he asked, just looking at me as I put my back against the wall. “He looks more scared than you two were...”
“He attacked an innocent mare, your highness! Put her into a coma!” the guard affirmed. My chest started beating again.
Shining Armor looked me in the eye. “Why?” he asked with a stern voice. He was probably the only creature that didn’t reek of fear at this point. One of the guards attempted to answer, but were met with a strong hoof raised to them. He kept staring at me, waiting to hear my side.
“She... she wanted to get the guards... to catch the changeling. So the changeling attacked her. I... I thought I was just another pony! I didn’t think--”
“That you were the creature you hate the most,” Armor finished, smiling. “I think I have a friend who could help you out.”
“Sir, you can’t reason with it! It’s an emotion eating monstrosity!”
“I understand, captain,” Shining answered calmly. “But Equestria managed to destroy an entire Hive. This is not some monster, but a stray refugee who isn’t power hungry at all. If he wanted your emotions, he would have fought back!”
“But it--”
“Was scared,” Armor finished without hesitation. He looked back at me. As our eyes met, there was almost some kind of connection... as if we had done this before. I smiled. Shining and his guards turned from me and trotted away. I eavesdropped on their conversation.
“What did he have on him?” Shining asked.
“Just a lantern.”
“Give it back to him. It’s too dark down here anyways.”
“What are we going to do with him?”
“Get me some paper. We have to inform Celestia and have him moved to Canterlot.”
“Why Canterlot?”
“With the rejuvenation of the Empire, she wants to try reforming our enemies.”
The rest faded into silence. I sat on the cot given to me. I avoided my own shadow, convinced that my memories might come back again. After ten minutes, I wondered if they were lying about giving me my lantern back. After thirty more minutes of darkness and daydreams, Shining Armor appeared at my cell.
“I’ve sent for a friend of mine to take you to Canterlot. He’s a pegasus.” He pulled the lantern into view with his magic. “And by dropping the charges against you, I was able to get this back from Evidence.” He slipped the light through the bars and stared at me. “Now... you should probably take a pony form, it’ll help get you out of here without too much trouble.”
I blinked. It seemed like so long since I actually put on a disguise... I tried to remember the right spell. I closed my eyes as a memory came into my head. A face, and that almost foreign language, flashed through my brain so quickly I could feel my entire body burn. I opened my eyes to find myself within a unicorn’s body. A purple hoof reached up to make sure my glasses were still there.
No wonder he thought I was harmless... I forgot about my glasses!
I looked up past my horn to my dark blue mane, and wondered if this pony I was wearing was dead or alive right now. The answer to that question never came. But what did come eventually was that pegasus friend. I took my lantern in my mouth and followed him beyond those cold bars of the cell.
“It’s going to be okay,” he assured me as we reached the train station. “We’ve got ponies who will be happy to take care of you.” I turned away for one last look at the hospital where the nurse was being cared for. “It’ll all work out,” he said, coaxing me onto the train.
It’ll all work out... I thought. I turned from the hospital and finally climbed aboard.
As the train left the station, I could once again see all the smiling faces of the Crystal ponies. I smiled back.