Album 2: Chaotic Harmony
Track 1: Where Knightmare does something stupid.
Considering all that happened, is this an really accurate title?
Had I done the same on earth I’d have gotten my hands chopped off, in some countries, and brought to the guillotine in others.
True, very true...
So, I bet you’re wondering what went down after the ceremony, huh?
Here’s a one-word hint.
Blueblood.
He’s a racist prick. Shocking, I know. So what about him? Well, he wasn’t too pleased with a griffin, a changeling and a diamond dog/wolf/whatever getting knighted.
So he threw a tantrum. In the middle of canterlot.
“AUNTIEEEEEE!! WHYYY!? Those terrible beasts...They’ll kill us! Or steal the children! Or steal our MONEY!”
“Wow. So, lemme get this straight. Shining Armor was MORE of a badass in person...and you’re more of an asshole in person...wow...it’s like reality is more everything or something...”
“You! You see Auntie? He’s insulting me! It won’t be long before he takes all the pretty mares and leaves none for me!”
“I’m sorry, Nephew, but I can’t punish someone for merely stating a fact, nor can I do so because he’s more of a gentlecolt than you... Maybe you could learn something from Knightmare...” She looked in my direction and giggled.
Mainly because I was busy doing a handstand. Why? Because I got bored.
I noticed you tend to do a lot of strange things when bored.
Well, that’s almost entirely due to me being a very silly lad when bored.
“Why? So I can become Chrysalis’ brood like he is?”
“Woah now, buddy, you’re hitting a lil’ close to home, there. I’m not her ‘brood’, that implies I’m one of her kids.”
“Humph! It still puts you under her control! She just has to say the word and you’ll go a rampage, destroying buildings and eating all the pastries! A vile treachery! The likes of you changeling scum should never be allowed in Equestria.”
“Wow, you really are an ASSHOLE, aren’t you?” I growled, growing tired of dealing with this moron. Seriously? THIS shithead was the one Rarity fell head over heels for?
Hey, she learned her lesson
I know, but still...you couldn’t have, I’unno, warned her? Or me?
I never met him in person before the Gala. Otherwise, I would have.
“Now look, boys.” Came Chrysalis’ buzzing voice, “Now, I know you two stayed up past your bedtimes, but arguing isn’t going to help anyone right now, especially since there’s nothing to argue about.”
“Silence, you scheming bitch! I will not tolerate your evil be-” *WHACK!*
OK, so I kinda punched him.
Can you f**king blame me!?
“Blueblood, I’ve met some major assholes in my time, Griffin WAS at the top of my list. Congratulations, you just took his top seat!” I cracked my knuckles, a faint red glow coming from my eyes.
....you’re not gonna edit that on me?
Considering that ACTUALLY HAPPENS when you get mad? No.
....Creeepyyyy
To say everything got quiet would be an understatement. For about five seconds, no one even BREATHED. It was just me and Blueblood, both pissed beyond belief. I had, for a brief moment, expected him to turn and run, crying to ‘Auntie Celestia’ to ‘make the big bad bug go away’. ...instead, I’m thankful for having gotten that training, as I drew up my axe in time to block a stab from Blueblood’s rapier. Where he’d been hiding it, I neither know, nor want to know. All I do know is, within a few seconds the two of us had gone from duelling with weapons to just plain beating the shit out of one another.
I made brutal use of my longer reach, slicing at him with my claws and kicking as hard as I could. But for someone so, comparatively, short, Blueblood hit hard and could take hits pretty well, often matching blow for blow and what few hits he could make hurt more than the flurry of lighter blows I launched. I think I knocked out a tooth before I couldn’t stand anymore.
I may have been on the ground, but I wasn’t out. He tried to stomp my head, but that left open the one major weakness all males have.
OK I don’t think we need to explain where you hit, do we?
I hope not.
“Hah...huff...take that...dumb....elitist...bastard”
After waiting a brief second to ensure that Blueblood was also out like a light, I let unconsciousness take me. ....Wow, I seem to be losing consciousness a lot in this adventure, huh?
******
I woke up in a jail cell. What the fuck? Across the way from me I could see Blueblood waking up in a cell of his own. At least they didn’t let him off the hook too. We glared at each other and then went back t our own cells. A little bit later, a door opened somewhere.
“Prisoners! You have visitors!”
“Visitors for who!?” I asked, wandering to the front of my cell.
“Yeah you dumb mule! There are at least six of us here,” yelled a prisoner from down the hall.
“Silence you ruffians! Let the guard speak!” Blueblood sounded annoying as ever.
“Oh piss off, you oblivious fool!.” The guard announced the description of the prisoners.
“One visitor for the demon, and two for the changeling known as Sir Knightmare.” Demon?
“But what about MEEEEE!?” shouted the the ass across the hall.
“AH SHADDAP BLUEBLOOD!” I shouted. “So, mister guard, who’s visiting lil’ ol’ me?”
“Lucky bastards,” hollered the prisoner I couldn’t see. “They’ve only been here for less than a day! Where’s my free letter to my family!”
“Calm down, dammit, you’ll get it in due time.” The guard began conversing with me again “I present Nurse Candy, Nurse Joyheart, and Her royal majesty, Queen Chrysalis.” The last name was spoken with no small degree of disgust. Wait... Who were those first two?
“Hey,” A new voice spoke up. Was that the demon?. “Chrysalis is here? I... I don’t even... What?!” I could barely make out the group making their way down the hall and recognized Chrysalis and a cream-colored mare walking with them also wearing a nurse's uniform. Hey, she was there with Twilight measuring...yeah. Is she Candy?
“Long story demondudemanguy.” I said. “Basically, she’s here for a peace treaty, and was one of the brawlers at the Gala when things went to shit. There’s a lot of folks alive today because of her.”
“It was because of YOU and those damnable alien ruffians that everything fell apart in the FIRST PLACE!” shouted Blueblood. Can’t he just shut his yap for ONE SECOND!?
“Bluey! Mind toning it down a touch,” the demon’s voice spoke up. “Else I may just have to come through the wall and see you face to face!” Blueblood continued to shout and holler. I like this demon guy.
“Now see here, you dirty demon! You have no right to treat royalty like that! Why I should have you-”
“BLUEBLOOD SHUT THE HELL UP!” everyone shouted, including Chrysalis and Nurse Candy.
“Thanks,” The demon told the group.
“You’re welcome.” said Chrysalis. She gave the demon a nod as she walked past him towards my cell.
“Well, Mr. Cole,” I heard the other nurse, apparently Joyheart, say in a sweet southern accent. “Seems like yah got yourself in quite the predicament here, sweetie.” Someone’s about to get a lecture.
“Nurse Joyheart, so nice to see you again.” Cole, apparently the demon’s name, said.
“Back off prisoner, don’t step too close to the bars.” the guard said. “Stop that,” he ordered.
“Dude, you’re seriously telling us to back away from CHRYSALIS? Did you SEE what she was capable of last night!? Trust me, they've got more to fear from her than us...” I said. I heard steel groaning. Is he pulling apart the jail cell? Damn!
“Hey, Knightmare, wanna shut it for a tick?” The bars continued to groan as the demon put more pressure on them.
“Cole! Stop it,” said Joyheart, worry exuding from her.
“Now, now,” said Chrysalis, as she smiled. “Let us see what he does?” Chrysalis watched as he pried himself out of his cell. He looked like...a monkey? He had horns on top of his head and a pistol at his side. They didn’t take that off him!?
“Are we doing a jailbreak?” I asked, I asked as I grew a claw and picked the lock on my cell. What? I learned it on Earth. “Because that’s actually a pretty cool idea.”
“Nah, not really Knight.” Cole started walking towards the guard, intimidating him with every glance, until he stared down at the guard. He brought his fist up, as if to strike to guard and with a quick flourish of his left hand, flicked the guard on the nose. The guard reeled back in surprise as Cole smiled and stepped back towards his cell, and bent the bars back into place
“So, Cole, Knightmare...” Chrysalis grinned “We were sent to retrieve the two of you. You’ve been pardoned.” Hah. I knew I wouldn’t be in here long.
“Am I pardoned?” Blueblood asked.
“No, you’re lucky to not be executed by the very laws you’re so obsessive over for how you treated me and my entourage.” Oh that’s too good. Suck it Blueballs!
“Is she serious?” Cole asked
“Deathly serious.” Nurse Candy said.
“Well then,” Cole muttered. “Guard, you might as well let me out then.” He looked over at the guard who he just flicked expectantly.
I turned to the guard as well, stepping back behind the still opened door of my own cell. The guard huffed and passed Cole’s cell and opened mine first. He then handed the keys to Nurse Joyheart. Aw, Mr. Guard is angry he got flicked.
“You open it,” he told her. “I refuse to do anything that could be seen as kind towards him.” Jeez, jeckface. You deserved that flick.
“Well that’s odd. You’re nicer to a changeling who was locked up for giving a noble bloody nose than you are for a demon-looking dude who’s only in trouble for getting drunk in public?” Chrysalis asked, “You have very skewed priorities, young one.”
“Well... I think it might also be for property destruction,” Cole muttered as Nurse Joyheart opened the door.
“And for public nudity,” continued the guard. Wait... what!? I never got arrested for such a thing and I’ve done that at least twice so far. Cole looked at him wide-eyed.
“Holy... Well... hell... I think I went to fourteen shots then.” Cole looked down in embarrassment. “Hey! New record!” He smiled as his face shot back up.
“Lightweight.” said the goddess who can obviously magic her liver back to health. Screw healing magic.
“Compared to me, maybe.” Candy chirped, giggling lightly. “Sooo...public nudity, eh? Kinda wish I got to see that.”
“No, you do not, there have only been two occasions that have happened. Last night, and Graffiti night at the University of Texas frats. Never. Again.” Texas?? Another human already! A frat boy to boot. Cole walked over and hugged Nurse Joyheart then stood to the side to allow the group to pass.
“And you said he wasn’t nice.” Candy said, grinning at Joyheart lewdly.
“Hey Joyheart, would you mind explaining the company, please,” Cole asked.
“This here is Nurse Candy, she was a student of mine when she first decided to become a nurse. We go way back, and were quite close,” She pointed towards the earth pony. “And this is Queen Chrysalis. She-”
“No need for that one, I know of her,” Cole cut her off and looked at the Queen. He stepped towards her a bit and inspected her being. A wide smile cut across his face from ear to ear as he looked directly into her eyes.
“Chrysalis... have you ever been glomped?”
“On several occasions, by Knightmare...and oddly enough even Celestia after I requested a peace treaty and handed over my terms of surrender.”
“Well then this might be a familiar feeling.” he quickly backed away, jumped off the wall parallel to the group, targeting Chrysalis for the imminent glomp. The changeling Queen responded promptly, wreathing herself in green flames to shapeshift, revealing...Oh my. I’m glad I can hide myself. Even without the raging hormones, that was pretty hot.
“My... well Ah do believe someone has yet tah sober up,” said Joyheart as she looked at the destruction.
“Oh I’m sober.” Cole looked back at Joyheart as he got up and dust himself off. “Just the first time we met, I was tied down and restrained on a bed without being able to move an inch and I was missing my pants too. Where are they?"
“Oh la la!” Candy said, “Somepony had a happy night!” The cream-colored mare giggled happily.
“Oh hush you,” Joyheart said while she blushed. “It was nothing like that, he was in the hospital!” Whaaaat? Laid on the first night here?! Some people get all the luck.
“Yes! I was but a poor injured lad and this temptress, she took advantage of me in such a poor state! Oh how tragic.” Cole placed the back of his hand on his head as if he were to faint. Oh, they’re just kidding around.
“Joyheart, Honey, you should have CALLED!” Candy gushed, clearly ‘getting into character’, “I’d have taught you a few of my old tricks. I mean it’s all because of you that I have a job at all right now, it’s only fair!”
“Wait....you’re THAT ‘Candy Apple’!?” Chrysalis said. Huh?
“Wat.” was my only response. Cole looked at everyone and then back to Joyheart expecting some kind of clarification.
“THE Candy Apple!?” Chrysalis continued, drawing attention from the other prisoners, “From the Naughty Nurse Candy series!? OH MY FAUST I’m your biggest fan!” Chrysalis was hopping around like a Twilight fangirl who got a VIP pass to meet the actors. Hyperactive, irritating, and squealing like a pig. Wait, Naughty Nurse Candy?!
I still can’t believe she was working at the castle all this time.
Wait, don’t tell me you’re a fan, too!
....uh...um...uh....maybe...
“Yet again. Wat.” was still my only response. Joyheart started to blush an even deeper crimson.
Cole got it apparently and nudged me.
“So wait... what you are telling us, Miss Candy,” he started.
“By Celestia’s luscious flank...” I continued “Are you trying to tell me....you’re a...a...”
“PORN STAR!” all those present shouted, almost all with glee. Even Blueblood, shockingly. Wait...Oh, I’m remembering that you perverted supremacist.
“Well I might have polished a few staves back in the day....” Candy said, looking at her hoof nonchalantly. “Mighta done a stint or two as Nightmare Moon. But Joyheart, here, taught me what I needed to know to play the part of a horny nurse, and more than enough to earn a license and become one after the industry was forced to go underground. I dunno about you but as much as I love making mares and stallions wet, I don’t love it enough to turn criminal.” Cole looked over at Joyheart with a deviant smile.
“So what you are telling us,” Cole winked at me.
“Don’t say it...please don’t say it.” Joyheart mumbled.
“That you and Candy used to be....” I turned to Chrysalis with a lecherous grin....
“You wouldn’t....” Candy grumbled...
“Candy Strippers!” Chrysalis said, gleefully, much to the mirth and laughter of the congregated criminals. Except Blueblood, who joined the two nurses in their groan at the Pun. Shut up Blueblood.
“Cole, now that wasn’t very kind of yah.” Joyheart looked at him and gave him a chilling glare. Oof. Cole quickly spoke up to defend himself.
“But, it was just too good to pass up! You have to understand Miss!” Joyheart’s eyes stared Cole down. Wow, that is one intense staring contest. Suddenly, Joyheart stepped closer and closer to Cole until he was on his knees. He turned away in submission.
“Now apologize,” she ordered. Cole looked towards her and Nurse Candy.
“I’m... I’m sorry Nurse Joyheart and to you too Nurse Candy,” Cole’s voice dropped to a low murmur.
“Good. That pun was so bad I was ‘bout to start sticking acupuncture needles inta your scrotum.” Nurse Candy said, reverting to her southern accent briefly. Ow. Why would you do that!? That’s one scary mare.
Chrysalis whispered something to cole.
“Well, you don’t say?” Cole said as he got back to his feet, and stood by Nurse Joyheart’s side.
“Regardless, it’s time to get you two back to the throne room.” Chrysalis spoke calmly, keeping her voice almost perfectly even.
“So...we’re free? Just like that?” Cole asked.
“ Yes, Celestia officially pardoned Knightmare after taking several testimonies pointing to him protecting my honor, and you, apparently, just needed a few days to sleep off your hangover.” The Changeling Queen turned on her hooves and began walking out of the dungeon block.
“Well, Hellboy?” I said, making a sweeping bow towards the entrance, as the three lovely mares made their exit there. As I followed, I began humming a familiar tune.
“Wait! Ah hell, I don’t know this song,” Cole complained.
“Just follow what I do,” I explained. I began beating his wings rapidly, preparing the music. “It’s all A-capella, we are our own instruments, so just roll with me, sonny.”
“Call me sonny again,” Cole threatened. “That’s my schtick.”
“How old are you? Because I’m pushing eighty-five as is....” I replied, my deadpan reaction betraying nothing. Cole quickly looked away, trying to come up with a quick lie.
“Uh, over 900 years old?” Cole uses Poker Face! It's not very effective...
“Well I’m 25,000, so you whippersnappers best behave!” Chrysalis countered irritably.
I am a man who walks alone
And when I’m walking a dark road
At night or strolling through the park
I took the lead, easing into the song into something that sounds oddly a lot like Iron Maiden. Love that song.
When the light begins to change
I sometimes feel a little strange
A little anxious when its dark
Cole finally got into the groove, continuing the lead lines with surprising skill.
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a constant fear that something’s always near!
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a phobia that someone’s always there!
Both of us efficiently duet-ed the third stanza, the buzz of my wings still pulling duty as the backups. Out of the blue, Chrysalis chimed in, taking up the lead of the song as we entered the suspiciously light-less hallway leaving the dungeons.
Have you run your fingers down the wall
And have you felt your neck skin crawl
When you’re searching for the light?
Lighting her horn ablaze with magic, she was able to combat the darkness enough to avoid tripping, but not much else, lending a fittingly ominous aura to the darkened passages.
Sometimes when you’re scared to take a look
At the corner of the room
you’ve sensed there’s someone watching you!
An eerie chill settled into the air as I felt a presence behind us, following the five of us as we sung and strolled down the darkened hallway.
Have you ever been alone at night
Thought you heard footsteps behind
And turned around and no one’s there?
Suddenly, and simultaneously, all five of us turned around, but there was absolutely no one behind us....that we could see. My spiny mane-thing stood straight out, as I wondered if it was possible for ghosts to exist in Equestria.
And as you quicken up your pace
you find it hard to look again
Because you’re sure there’s someone there!
The presence returned once again, I could sense it following us. Call it a sixth sense but I was sure that was what was happening. Or maybe I was just too immersed in the song.
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a constant fear that something’s always near!
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a phobia that someone’s always there!
[‘instrumental’]
As we continued, singing the phrase ‘Fear of the Dark’ at regular intervals in various tones, the floorboard let out a loud creak from behind us, startling all of us and causing me to run, let out a shout and run around checking doors and halls in suspicion, though Chrysalis doesn’t miss a beat in the song. My mind was on edge, wondering what was following us.
Watching horror films the night before
Debating Witches and Folklore
The unknown troubles on your mind!
She got the nurses, Joyheart and Candy, to join into the song, paralleling her own voice beautifully.
Maybe your mind is playing tricks
You sense, and suddenly, eyes fixed
On dancing shadows from behind!
The trio of mares turned around, and looked down the hall and then turned immediately back, the two nurses with a slight bit of fear in their eyes.
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a constant fear that something’s always near!
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a phobia that someone’s always there!
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a constant fear that something’s always near!
Fear of the Dark! Fear of the Dark!
I have a phobia that someone’s always there!
When I’m walking a dark road...
I am the man who walks alone....
“BOO!”
“Jesus Holy Christ!” Cole and I screamed in unison, with screeches coming from the nurses and a surprised Chrysalis leaping up just in time to grab the four of us before we fell.
A small figure appeared in front of our group, giggling with a hoof covering her mouth. Cole quickly grabbed her and held her up to eye level with one hand.
“Alright, very funny, now who are ya?” Cole asked, annoyance creeping into his voice. How did she sneak up on us anyway?
“Rachel, but everyone calls me Mimic.” She continued to giggle. Aw, isn’t that adorable. Cole sighed and looked around at everyone.
“Anyone know where she came from?” Cole looked from me to the nurses to Chrysalis.
“CryCry, is she yours? She looks like a changeling.” Cole asked. Chrysalis’s brow furrowed at the name.
“I am not CryCry, I am Queen Chrysalis, and you shall refer to me as such.”
“CryCry sounds better,” Cole deadpanned.
“I’mma be honest, I like it. ChryssiePie.” I said.
“I’m not ‘ChryssiePie’ either....”
“OK, Cherry Pie.”
“Oh Faustdammit PLEASE don't start singing that song around a CHILD!” Said the queen who just swore in front of said child.
“Cherry Chimichanga,” offered Rachel with a slight smile.
“I’m never going to run out of nicknames at this rate,” Chrysalis deadpanned.
“I LIKE her! Can we keep her?” I said. Cole sighed at that.
“Maybe, depends who her caretaker is,” Cole told me. I want her you monkey thing!.
“I’d rather....not.” came an unexpected and familiar voice. That of Crown Princess Cadence of the Crystal Empire.
“Hoyo Cadence!” I shouted, waving to the pink alicorn through the gloom....and suddenly, all of the lamps and torches came on with a click. Convenient.
“You...could have just turned on a light switch...” The Princess of Love said, stifling a giggle at Chrysalis’ embarrassed reaction. Cole turned around and smiled.
“Cadence! So good to see you again!” Cole walked towards her and bowed before her with a flourish.
“And you as well, Cole, and I see you are at least somewhat clothed.” Hah! Monkey-boy got seen by Cadence naked. Wait a minute.....
“Hey! I have a question,” I asked “How does someone in a society of nudists get tagged with a public indecency charge?”
“Because,” Chrysalis began, “Most stallions cocks are retractable...his isn’t...and technically neither is yours. Be thankful Celestia didn’t press charges over your ‘towel accident’.” Oh shit.
“...ok.” I said, suddenly getting a devious grin. “And that, ladies and gents, is why SHE'S MY CHERRY PIE! Cool Drink o' water, such a sweet surprise!“ Cadance quickly covered Rachel’s ears as soon as I began to sing.
“DAMMIT KNIGHTMARE I CAN’T TAKE YOU ANYWHERE!” Chrysalis screamed, her face redder than blood from embarrassment.
“And this is why we can’t have nice things.” Cole muttered..
“I’m sorry, queenie, but you’re just so ADORABLE when you’re flustered!” Oh that was so cute.
“I have to side with Knightmare on this one, Chrysalis.” Cadance quipped, “You look so cute I’d love to just pinch your cheeks!” Chrysalis immediately backed away.
“Do it, and you’ll regret it,” hissed Chrysalis.
“OK, how about this?” Cadance asked, and, moving faster than imaginable, locked lips with Chrysalis in a prench kiss. This time it was my job to shield Rachel’s eyes from the sight, much to the young changelings laughter. Ohhh things getting hot in here!
“I wonder how Shiner feels about this.” Cole muttered aloud.
“Shining?” I asked, “Dude, this was one of his requests. In exchange for overcoming his anti-changeling racism and helping out in keeping us from going extinct, he gets to see Chrysalis and Cadance get frisky at least once.... Apparently they enjoy each other’s company....better than expected. If ya know what I mean.” Cole looked from me to the couple kissing each other. I heard about the deal earlier in the day.
“I... am at a lost for words,” muttered Cole. “Seriously, I thought everyone would still be cautious with each other, right?”
“Dude, it’s been four months and the changelings have signed a peace treaty that specifically states Celestia will incinerate every last changeling if Chrysalis breaches the treaty. Then again, the whole ‘Chrysalis X Cadance’ thing isn’t in the treaty, she agreed to it because she’s horny.”
“That much I’m willing to admit....” Chrysalis stated, nibbling on Cadance’s horn gently. Cole stared for a moment and then smacked himself in the face. Poor boy. Maybe he’s not long out of his frat?
“Right, so throne room before we give a child an impromptu education in safe sex?” Cole quickly started walking ahead of the group.
“Sounds like a plan, my man.” I said, carrying Rachel on my shoulders. I was promptly followed by the four gorgeous mares that had tagged along. The procession continued down the halls until we finally found the throne room.
“The princess said she wanted tah talk tah yah before yah left, Cole,” explained Joyheart, the bag still being carried on her back. “The Doctor was kind enough to pack you some extra clothes in order for you to look presentable, ladies if you please.” He knows the Doctor!? Chrysalis and Cadence activated their magic and created a curtain in order for cole to change behind. He took the bag off of Joyheart and walked behind the curtain and started to change.
“Well, dudes, ladies, Chrysalis, I bid ye all farewell. I’ve got a band to gather and a road trip to kick off. Be well and blessed be, everypony!” I set Rachel down on Cadence’s back and buzzed off, using my wing to skate across the floor at high speeds.
I wandered to the throne room and found Celestia on her throne. I walked up to her.
“Ah, Knightmare, good to see you out. In a moment I’ll need to talk to Cole. Do you think you could go retrieve something for me? We have much to discuss and I feel like something to drink would probably lighten the mood.”
“Of course my lady. I will return momentarily.”
It took me a good thirty minutes to figure out where in the blazes I needed to go. A full hour had passed by the time I returned. This castle is seriously a maze.
When I returned, Cole had already left, so I wandered up to Celestia and Chrysalis, who were still present. I had picked up something that a guard said he had prepared earlier, though I didn’t know what exactly was in it. Celestia brought out three glasses and poured us whatever was in the carton I brought. and Chrysalis did something similar, though with...less clothing. We each took a glass.
“Ah, that’s the stuff. Alright. Knightmare. It’s about time I gave you your first mission.” Man this stuff was good... Looking at the box, I realized something. Isn’t this The Royal Pink!?
“As you well know, many of the articles in the Black Vault have gone missing on result of Ember’s fight with Luna. These articles are incredibly dangerous whether in the right hands, the wrong hands or no hands at all. More than just the missing pieces of Nightmare Moon’s armor, You have recovered the Pick of Destiny which I’m personally releasing for you to use. It may be of help to you if the Nightmare returns. I will have a full list of the missing articles and their status for you later.” She sighed but it seemed her drink was helping to perk up her mood. I was trying not to drink too much but it was so tasty! Darn you, Pinkie! I swear I could hear her giggling somewhere. Chrysalis...was eyeing me? Must like what she sees. She gave me this look that said ‘I’ve got an article you can recover.’
“Hic. THe other thing I need you to do Knightmare...is....Could you scoot a little closer?”
I obliged confusedly. She was swaying a little bit. She couldn’t be drunk already...
“Where was I? Oh, yes. The other thing I need you to do is track down any humans and try to get them to contact us in Canterlot. We’d like to know where they are and what they’re up to if we can. Griffin we don’t need to worry about as he stays in contact with us anyway.....Come here you, I need a huuuug!” She promptly jumped over and pinned me to the floor while cuddling with me. Oh...hehe. This isn’t so bad. What was I worried about?
“Was there anything else *HIC* your beautiful majeshty?” Wait, am I drunk?... Yeah, that case is empty. Did we already drink all the tasty stuff?
“Um....OH! I have a team assembled to travel with you. I’ll introduce you to them tomorrow. For now though, i jus’ wan da cuddles.”
“Hey *hic-urp* don’t hog him to yourshelf!” I looked over to Chrysalis who was trying and failing to walk while in a humanoid form. She ended up crawling over to us before cuddling next to me too. We started having a tickle war. For the next ten minutes, there was nothing to be heard but pained laughter as the three of us went on poking, prodding, and touching all over the place. The war eventually ended with us panting on the floor.
“Um...Ladies...Not that I mind but shouldn’t we be doing something?...I feel like there was something we were doing...”
“AH! You’re right Knightmare! We need to *HUP* go see Twilight in Ponyville! I have a ‘special’ surprise for you!” She winked at me with a sultry grin plastered on her face.
“That shounds like a ‘great’ idea Tia!” Chrysalis was giving me a similar look.
“Well...What are we waiting for then? Onwardsh!” Yep, I’m drunk. Oh well, this is turning out pretty good so far!
We stumbled out onto a balcony and after Chrysalis shifted back, we flew off into the night towards Ponyville, swaying back and forth in the air, with Celestia and Chrysalis holding either end of my body as I quickly realized I could NOT fly inebriated, or at all. It was one wild flight.