Friendship Is Magic: Prime by Darkryt Orbinautz
Act II
Chapter 3 (Box Set Chapter 9)
A Dog And A Pony Show
"So, uh...Discord." June began, "What are you?"
"A Draconequus."
"OK...Let's pretend I know what that is and move on to the next question. How did you end up unconscious and electrocuted on the side of a road?"
"Started flying-" He rose up off the bed partially and flapped his wings to demonstrate. "Got hit by a lightning bolt."
"Really? Wow, Draconequui must be sturdy creatures if you can survive being dead-on by a lightning bolt!" June exclaimed. Discord chuckled at the admiration and preceded to drag himself off the bed the rest of the way, banging his head on the ceiling in the process. He rubbed it a little before adjusting himself to compensate for the building's size.
"So, who's up for some games?" He asked jovially walking towards the door, only to be stopped by Fowler.
"Whoa whoa whoa buddy! You can't go out there!"
"Well, why not?" Discord asked confused.
"A big, feathery, donkey-headed Draco-something-or-other walking around? That'll be sure to make everyone panic!"
Discord scoffed and swept Fowler and June up into his arms.
"Tender dumplings every-where, life's no fun without a good scare!"
June and Fowler exchange worried looks.
"Uh, perhaps you could go outside of town and 'scare' the local wildlife while we figure what to do with you?"
Discord dropped them both. "What do you mean 'do with me'?"
"Redirect... Panic! Mass hysteria? Any of this ring a bell?" Fowler snarked.
"All right, all right." Discord waved his claws, seemingly giving in to Fowler's concerns. "I'll go scare the wildlife while I try to think of how to...ease myself into the public eye."
Snapping his talon, Discord disappeared in a flash of light.
"That was...interesting." June observed.
"Hey Ratchet! Where's 'Bee?" Raf asked walking into the room, raising his arms to shield himself from the practice doll's scattered fluff.
"Sorry about that." The medic apologized, not taking his eyes of the doll that he had resumed cutting up indiscriminately. "Bumblebee went out on a mission with Bulkhead and Optimus. I'll let you know when they get back."
Raf frowned. Arcee and Jack were out for a ride, so now he didn't have anyone to play his game with...unless...
"You wanna play a game with me?"
Ratchet look at Raf bewildered, "A game?"
"Yeah," Raf replied, taking out a cartridge from his backpack "Excitecar?"
Ratchet shook his head disapprovingly, "No no no...Races are primordial tests of speed. As a medic, speed is of little merit to me." he said this like an ancient warrior challenged to honorable combat.
Raf raised his eyebrows. "...I think Earthlings take races differently then Cybertronians do."
Raf climbed a stairway to the platform where the gaming system was set up, inserted the cartridge, and booted up the system, signing at the fact he'd have to play alone. Thankfully, it was at this moment the roar of engines could be heard and the Autobots Ratchet had named off returned to the base.
"Sure was nice of the 'Cons to give us all that Energon like that." Bulkhead joked with a smile as he transformed. Bumblebee and Optimus followed suit, the former giving the green robot a high five.
"Hey 'Bee! Wanna race?" Raf mock-challenged.
Bumblebee looked at Optimus.
"Go ahead, Bumblebee."
Bumblebee let out a enthused deeeet and rushed over to join his human partner.
Optimus walked over to the side of the platform to observe the T.V. Screen as the yellow Autobot and child played. The game's sound effects filled the air.
Optimus noticed the smile plastered on Raf's face, even as he lost the game's match to Bumblebee.
"You enjoy playing this with Bumblebee, don't you?"
"Yeah," Raf answered while setting the game up for another round. "It's like one of those things you can enjoy, no matter who -or what- you are."
"Hmmm..." Optimus commented, curious as to how Raf won the second round just now.
"PRIME!" rang Agent Fowler's trademark yell over the video communications window on the control computer's screen.
THUD.
Everyone looked at Ratchet, who had taken a hammer to the remains of his doll. The medic scraped his foot. "...Sorry. Still upset. Continue, Agent Fowler."
"What in the White House is going on here?"
"What do you mean, Agent Fowler?" Optimus questioned.
"I mean, I've just verified and confirmed reports of the sky, raining brown holy cow juice just a few miles away from town!"
"...Cow juice?" Bulkhead asked.
"Milk." Raf explained, "Cause, y'know...milk is produced by cows."
"Raining...cow juice? The 'Cons musta made a weather machine!" Bulkhead snapped.
"I doubt that, Bulkhead. I feel if Megatron had commissioned such a device, he would be using for far more destructive purposes." Optimus Prime dismissed.
"Unless..." Ratchet put a finger to his chin, "This is merely a test run."
Optimus grimaced. "An excellent point. Prepare a device we can use to lure the Decepticons out to interrogate them on the machine's whereabouts and prepare to roll out."
Jack adjusted himself on Arcee's seat, eager to feel the wind on his face.
"So Arcee, anything interesting happen with you and the 'Bots lately?" Jack asked, trying to strike up a conversation.
"Not much. You?" The bike responded.
"Uh, well...Hey...are those cacti dancing?" Jack asked, pointing towards a patch of spiny plants with sunglasses and sombreos perched on their tops shaking wildly. Something wet fell on top Jack's head.
"Rain?" He saw a liquid fall in front of him and raised a hand to keep it off Arcee. He sniffed the finger the raindrop landed and with hesitance, licked it.
"...Chocolate milk rain! What are the 'Cons up to?" Jack exclaimed.
"You sure it's the 'Cons, Jack? Seems more like MECH's alley to me."
"Well, maybe you can ask them!" Jack shouted pointing at Megatron's jet mode hovering overhead.
"Scrap!"
Megatron noticed the Autobot driving down the road and prepared a shot from his mighty Fusion Cannon. "I go out for a relaxing flight, and instead I get Autobots and dancing cacti!"
Arcee hit her breaks and Jack braced for impact.
A GroundBridge portal opened behind them, and the truck mode of Optimus Prime jumped out of it and over Arcee, taking the shot direct to his grill.
"Arcee!" Optimus Prime barked, transforming to robot mode and converted his hand to a blade. "Get Jack to safety!"
"All right, sport, come on!" Arcee ordered Jack, speeding backwards into the Bridge.
"Don't have tell me twice..." Jack muttered.
Optimus Prime watched them go before turning to face Megatron.
"Optimus Prime..." Megatron sneered, crashing his feet into the road, cracking the pavement. Unsheathing his sword, Megatron lunged, sparks emitting from the two Leader's blades as they clanged against each other.
"Megatron, what do you have to gain by altering the ecosystem like this?"
"Huh?" Megatron grunted, Optimus Prime punching his face and forcing him back. Megatron fired his Cannon again, which Optimus expertly dodged.
"Hrrn!" Megatron snarled and back flipped himself away to put some distance between. They exchanged blaster fire before the ground they were standing on started shaking. The ground tore itself away and floated up, creating a floating isle.
Megatron and Optimus Prime looked over the change in their battleground, then charged at each other with their swords again. Ting-clong-tink!
Megatron took his bladeless arm and pounded Optimus' face with his power gauntlet, Optimus shook his head and punched Megatron's face in retaliation, giving the Decepticon another direct punch into the side of his head to boot.
Speaking of boots, Optimus turned around and lifted his leg into Megatron's chest, giving the Decepticon Leader a good buck. Megatron stumbled to the edge of the floating turf. Optimus seized the opportunity and grabbed Megatron by the throat, earning a 'Hyeeurk!' from him.
Optimus brandished his fist. "Answer me, Megatron! What is the purpose of the chocolate rain?"
Megatron's pointed eyebrows rose. "Chocolate...rain?..AH-HA-HA-HA! You...you think the chocolate rain is my doing?"
Optimus launched the brandished fist into Megatron's face. "If not yours, then whose is it?"
Megatron leered. "Discord's."
"And just who is Discord?"
"A Draconequus. A creature I...accidentally brought back to Earth with me after going on a little...expedition. This...chocolate rain is something of his trademark. You want to stop it, Prime?"
The Autobot Leader leered.
"Then find Discord!"
Optimus Prime huffed and let go of Megatron, who transformed and rocketed off.
Optimus stood on the edge and looked over the pink clouds the chocolate rain fell from. He raised his arm to defend his eyes from a flash of lightning. When the plasma had passed, the ground beneath the floating turf had turned from brown-red and rocky to lumpy and colored like pink and blue checkerboards.
"Optimus!" Ratchet's concerned voice shouted through the radio. "I'm detecting heavy geological disruptions in your position. Are you all right?"
"Fine, Ratchet. But I've uncovered unnerving news. Apparently, Megatron is not to blame for our recent weather developments, but a non-Cybertronian being called 'Discord' is."
Optimus leaped off the floating turf, transforming to truck mode in descent. Revving, he did best to navigate the checkerboarded ground. He was sent skidding out of control by a lightning strike that very nearly struck him. The fact lightning struck so close the ground unnerved him, as lightning was supposed to strike the tallest object, which he and the nearby ground wasn't at the moment. He resolved to find Discord and put a stop to this before someone innocent was hurt.
The Autobots and humans gathered around the control room.
"Draconequus?" Raf inquired.
"That's what the Boss-bot said!" Miko assured him.
Optimus turned to Raf. "You know something of it, Rafael?".
"Well, maybe...The words 'Dragon' and 'Equine' derive from the Latin 'Draco' and ' Equus'." Raf answered.
"Sooo..." Miko drawled, "We're looking for some sort of...horse-dragon?"
"How? Dragons are a myth!...Aren't they?" Jack looked skeptically at the Autobots.
"Well...A planet's wildlife coincidentally bearing the same description as another's myths is not unheard of." Ratchet explained. He turned to Optimus. "Did Megatron say where the Draconequus was from?"
Optimus signed and nodded. "No...perhaps I should have asked."
"Well, whatever it is, we need to find it before the situation gets even more out of hand!" Arcee exclaimed with a fist-pump gesture.
"Agreed, Arcee. Unfortunately, Megatron gave no hints as to how ascertain Discord's whereabouts." Optimus Prime agreed.
Meanwhile...
June stepped out the hospital doors for lunch, her shot making a sploogh sort of noise as squished against the pavement. She closed her eyes. "What did I just step in?"
"Well," replied a doctor who had been coming to join her, "In my highly educated professional opinion...I would say... 'Fudge'."
"Fudge?" June opened her eyes and looked down to see that the sidewalk tile she was on was indeed, made of a chocolate-brown fudge. But it wasn't just the tile she was on; It was the whole sidewalk! Rain with the consistency and texture of milk began to dribble down her bangs. She looked up to pink clouds that looked like that could they could be stretched and bent like...like cotton candy!
Her attention was caught by a civilian screaming, and she whipped around to see all the streetlamps had been turned to candy canes with glowing marshmallow peeps speared on their hooks. The source of the distressed scream, on the other hand, was from driver struggling to control his jeep, whose tires had been turned to frog legs.
June growled and tensed her shoulders.
"June?" The co-worker asked concerned.
"I know who's responsible for this..." June answered, taking a prideful step forward, only for fudge to splatter against her pants leg.
"...I meant to do that."
"Suuurrre you did." The co-worker quipped.
Back at Autobot Outpost Omega One...
"Maybe Megatron's lying, and is controlling Discord?" Bulkhead suggested, trying his best to figure out how they would be able to locate the source of their troubles.
"Perhaps, but Megatron spoke of him with a disdain beyond that of which he gives his lesser troops." Optimus countered.
"Duuuuudes! You're all waaaay overthinking this!" Miko chided, to confused looks. "Look, this Discord dude is a dragon-horse, right? Well, Dragon's kidnap Princesses, and horses eat hay! Just put out both and he'll come right to us!"
"What, you mean like a...Princess of Hay?" Jack questioned, leering at Miko cautiously.
"Yeah!"
"And where would we...get a princess like that?"
"Oh, pfft! How should I know? I'm not a princess!
Jack smirked and rubbed his chin. "...Or are you?"
Miko back away slightly at what Jack was implying. "Oh no! I am not dressing up like a princess girly fru-fru stuff!"
"It...was your idea, Miko." Raf reminded her.
"Hey! Are you on my side, or his?" The girl snapped.
"We're taking sides?"
"I would prefer if you didn't." Optimus Prime interjected.
The kids instantly realized what they had implied and apologized in unison. "Sorry, Optimus."
"Optimus!" snapped June's voice as she stomped into the hall, her clothes stained with chocolate. "I hope you've been giving the Decepticons some stern words about their experiments with the pavement!" She said with her hands at her hips.
"I am afraid I do not know what it is you're referring to, June." Optimus informed her.
"I'm referring to the fudge sidewalks and the chocolate milk rain!"
"For your information, Nurse Darby," Ratchet spoke up, "According to Megatron, a alien creature by the name of 'Discord' is responsible for the chocolate rain. And, I'd wager, the other anomalies that have been cropping up."
June's eyes widened. "Did you say...'Discord'?"
"Yes." Ratchet answered, a note of suspicion in his voice. "Why?"
"Because that might have been the name the creature Jack and Sierra rescued last night introduced himself as when he woke up."
"WHAT? Are you telling me this is our fault!?" Jack exclaimed with his hands clasped over his head.
June stammered, "I...uh...well..."
"Oh, no one's blaming you Jack, OR your beauuuutiful mother."
The Autobots and humans looked over each other while June blushed.
"I didn't say that." Bulkhead defended himself.
"Wasn't me." Miko added.
The Autobots readied their blasters and blades. A flash of white light filed the room. When it had passed, a large, serpentine, yet avian creature was floating high the room, a feathery wing and a leathery one beating to keep it aloft.
"Oh, put those down! No need to get violent." It said with a flick of a eagle paw attached to it.
"I'm glad we share that belief." Optimus remarked, motioning for the Autobots to lower their weapons and walking over to be face-to-face with the creature. "You are Discord?"
"The one and only. Want an autograph?" Discord replied with a trill.
"No thank you." Optimus responded. "However, I am told you control the chocolate rain that has been falling recently."
"Eeeyup." rasped the mule's lips on Discord's snout.
"I presume that would also put you to blame for the other...discrepancies that have been occurring?"
Discord nodded.
"I would beseech you to undo them. People -humans- live in this area and have a very rigid lifestyle which your...changes would disrupt it to terrible effect."
"Oh, psshaw!" Discord waved his lion paw dismissively. "It's all in good fun."
"Your 'fun' is dangerous and life-threatening." Ratchet snarled.
" Oh yeah, that. Been meaning to start selling a safety manual, but I have run into a problem with my publisher."
"Oh?" Ratchet laughed sarcastically, "And what would be that 'problem'?"
"I don't have one! HAHA!" Discord slapped his scaly knee and burst out laughing.
"That was a good one!" Miko complimented, pointing her fingers and raising her thumbs.
"Oh! You think so?" Discord asked tentatively.
"Yeah!"
"OK, well, try this!" Discord snapped his lion paw, and two floating pies manifested besides. He took one and threw into Miko's face, covering it in pie filling.
"Hey!" Miko yelled, removing the filling from her eyes and mouth. The other pie floated from Discord's side and into her hands.
"Your~tuurrn!" he sang-sung. Miko's growl turned to a smile, arched her arm and flung the pastry at Discord's face. He clapped and cheered. "Hahahah! Yes! You, little girl, have got spirit."
"About the ecosystem changes..." Optimus reminded them.
"Oh, Come on, Optimus! He said it himself, he just want to have fun!" Miko cried out.
Optimus looked at Miko, then adjusted his gaze towards Discord, who put his claws together and blinked his eyes pleadingly.
Optimus sighed and shook his head. "Ratchet?"
Ratchet put his hand to his chin. "I...guess it'd be okay, as long it's in moderation..."
"Very well. You may have some more...'fun' for a short while we figure out what to do with you." Optimus permitted.
Miko pumped her fist. "Yyyess!"
Discord smirked and tapped his claws together. "Thank you...Optimus, was it? Hahahahahheeheehoooo..."